Wannabe ninja
A wannabe ninja is an individual who erroneously believes they are a mighty ninja warrior.
In most cases, wannabe ninjas are dorks who collect realistic feudal era ninja parafanalia with the intent of actually using it in the manner in which it was designed. Unfortunately, since the ninja's context as a sword wielding acrobatic badass died with the industrialization of Japan, opportunities for performing stealthy assassinations are practically non-existent.
Wannabe ninjas find themselves stuck in in the middle of peaceful 21st century suburban neighborhoods living amongst other suburbanites. No peasants riding in the backs of horse-drawn carts with big barrels of rice. No samurai or geisha strolling around town. No ambitious warlords looking for assassins to quietly do their dirty work. In fact - this isn't even Japan......this is Cleveland.
The wannabe ninja lives a life surrounded by modern society and its conveniences. The only times he's given the opportunity to use his ninja-persona is either during Halloween, or the hours spent staring at himself in the mirror while he poses himself in numerous positions as if prepared to pounce.
The only bloodshed these "ninjas" ever see is when they order shurikens over the internet and hit themselves with it the moment they manage to unwrap it.
Let us shed a tear for the lonely, wannabe ninja...constantly searching for redemption through the finding of others like himself, only able to see the ninja in themselves in the reflection of the bathroom light when the wife has gone to sleep - the slit in their mask like the tiny window into their shy souls.
