Sugar

Sugar is the sweet white stuff used to fill up modern ready-made foods. These days it's mass-produced in the form of a crop (sugar beet). Originally, however, production was controlled by a cartel of wasps, heavily involved in organised crime, who were keen to muscle in on bees' control of the insect/food crossover market. The Honey Wars of the early 1920s saw many of african mango the hives in North America completely wiped out. A strong government response saw most cartels diversify into extortion, gambling, armed robbery and - in modern times - drugs. If you were frightened of wasps before, these days be very, very frightened indeed: not only are their stings as potent as ever but, in addition, most of them are now out of their minds on crack.

Sugar and Human Health

Sugar is extremely unhealthy, and causes caries, diabetes and obesity. Consequently it is the staple food of the British diet.

How Do You Eat Yours?

• In tea.
• On butties (sugar sandwiches).
• A tablespoon or two really gives your vegetables - yuk, eh kids? - that much-needed oomph.
• On your chips (fries).
• From the jar! A special treat when the kids have been nice to grandma.
• On pancakes.
• as a cube.