Sharks With Frickin Laser Beams Attached To Their Heads

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An entry-level position in the East Korean Navy.

"Sharks With Frickin Laser Beams Attached To Their Heads", or "SWFLBATTH", are specialized East Korean inshore units devoted to terrifying captured spies by circling menacingly.

SWFLBATTH may come from any species or genus of general sharkdom, although Great Whites have been the SWFLBATTH of choice for some years. Other sharks - the Blue, the Blacktip, the Gray Reef Shark - allege that the overrepresentation of Great Whites as [SWFLBATTH]] is evidence of racism in the East Korean hiring process. This case is presently under review at the United Nations.

An East Korean Great White with a Frickin Laser Beam Attached To His Head (copyright East Korean ministry of Information)

Technical issues

It is not entirely clear how a laser beam could be attached to a shark's head, or indeed to any head, or indeed to anything at all, as laser beams are merely focused streams of light. The proper terminology would be "Sharks With Frickin Laser Generators Attached To Their Heads"; however, the East Korean Department of Defense found that the anagram "SWFLGATTH" was unworkably cryptic. Also, how would the laser be controlled by the shark? Is it plugged directly into its brain?

Weapons of Mass Descruction

The USA has proposed several resolutions at the United Nations proposing military intervention in East Korea due to the existence of WMDs in the East Korean Navy. The SWFLBATTH was grouped under this classification together with the squadron of Royal Pool Poopers (men trained to deposit brown floaters in public pools with the intention to create panic). Belgium has so far vetoed all these resolution arguing that the lasers attached to the heads of sharks are not powerful enough to hurt human beings or their naval forces. They merely act as a marker of a potential target guiding the shark with scientific precision towards its target where it will sink his jaws into vulnerable flesh. East Korea remains silent on this sensitive issue (though many claim this is becasue it doesnt exist). The USA now claims SWFLBATTH have been now equipped with racks that can hold nuclear and biological weapons of mass destruction. The USA also happen to posses 1 million SWFLBATTH, but they own the World so thats OK.