Kittens are lovely, cuddly, fluffy little creatures that like to return the affection you bestow upon them by scratching you with claws that appear to be filled with rat poison or something, resulting in ugly-looking lacerations that no medicine can heal.
Despite being cold, emotionless death machines, kittens have excellent publicity and are in control of a large army of paid propagandists. These devotees take great delight in posting pictures on the internet showing kittens using computers, etc. Let it be said here and now that kittens cannot use computers or other items of sophisticated machinery. They simply don't have this level of problem-solving ability, and one should be careful not to buy into what amounts to nothing more than a pernicious myth.
Kittens will turn into cats. Cats enjoy tormenting humans. Do not be tricked by thier fluffy adorable exterior - its either you or them. And they have claws.
- Every time you masturbate God kills a kitten.
- Stephen Lynch , a top-notch singing comedian, once wrote a song "Kill a Kitten" and was roundly pursued by the SPCA until he apologized, and then snuck the song onto the back of the "A Little Bit Special" album. No one knows this so don't tell them.
- A good way to make girls hate you is, whenever you see a kitten, kick it to death.