Great Britain

From sciforums_encyclopedia
Jump to: navigation, search

General

Its great. See England. Until someone writes something here of interest, which is unlikely considering the subject matter. At the dawn of the Millenium many petitioned the Queen to change the name to Fantastic Britain. However the Attorney General stated that this could be considered false advertising.

Fish and chips is a great British meal slowly being phased out in favour of kebabs, which is in no way surprising, as most fish and chip shops are owned by Greek Cypriots and they do prefer eating kebabs, which is their national dish.

Great Britain is an anachronistic name and dates back to a time when Britain was actually one of the world's greatest bullies. Now of course, Britain is just a member of the USA gang, but it is its greatest asslicker.


The British Ability to Cloud Minds and Influence People

If you ask British people where they live, most will say, England, but if you get an official letter from the British government, it will say Great Britain. Banks are more reasonable, when it comes to stationery they say they live in the United Kingdom. The British have always been grand masters of obsfucation, brilliant creators of confusion and consistently prodigious at issue clouding.

For example: Brits like to alternately pretend there's no such thing as England or Great Britain, so that when we do something bad, we can just blame it on the "other guy".

Ex 1: "Someone stole all your land? Hey, I'm England. You're looking for Great Britain."
Ex 2: This technique has great use when being invaded by "the Hun".

One simply strolls down to the beach in the face of the panzers assembling from their little Kriegsmarine landing craft and asks Jerry in a stern but neutral tone: "What do you think you're about, then?"

When they respond: "Ve are here to invade Great Britain!" one is then to give a little amused laugh and tell them "Well, I'm sorry, mate, but you're in England, not Great bloody Britain." Then, whilst Jerry scratches his noggin, one yells "Right! That's it for you then!" and clods him over the head, then has a run at the rest of his yobs while the Spitfires streak in from above. The only thing left then is the reparations for the beach and the endless whining at the UN that the fist used to clod Jerry with was "zo hardt!". Roight.

Ethnicity

There is no such thing as an Englishman, all the English have moved to Spain, Bulgaria and Cyprus. In the Great United Kingdom of Britain England, you will only find British something; British Blacks, British Asians, British Cypriots, British Pop, British Weather and British TV.

The British like to proclaim that they hate Germans. Ironically they are Germans [1].