Bicycle

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The best machine ever created by humans. Ever. It is used by the hardworking, diligent, intelligent, environmentally responsible, academic elite of the United States. Also used all over the place in China, The Netherlands, and Japan.

If you ride a bicycle, then you are intelligent. Contrast this with SUV drivers, who are brain dead.

Efficiency

Catering to American car-culture terms, bicycling has an equivalent caloric efficiency of over 1200 mpg for the average person.