Permaban Wednesday

http://home.comcast.net/~infinitycrops/ted.gif

WARNING: THIS ARTICLE CONTAINS A TIME PARADOX
Those wishing to avoid the possible dangers from entanglement should view with caution.

Permaban Wednesday was a disaster which occurred December 31 1969, resulting in the permaban of over 1000 SciForums members[1]. This catastrophic event has been compared to the destruction of Pompeii by Mount Vesuvius in 49 AD

The events leading up to the banning

Times were chaotic - change was happening all over the world man. People were demonstrating against corruption. The oppressed were fightin' for their civil rights. Soldiers were dyin' in Vietnam. People in Woodstock and haight ashbury were teaching the world about love. All everyone ever wanted was peace, and makin' the world a better place.

The night of the bannings

It is recommended that readers listen to the song "All Along the Watchtower" by Jimi Hendrix, or possibly "Gimmie Shelter" by the Rolling Stones while reading this

12-31-1969 at approximately 9:00 pm, former SciForums moderator Fire Moonchild was sitting at a New Years party, and just finished smoking his 12th joint, and eating his 6th tab of Orange sunshine. Within the next hour, his trip took a turn for the worst.
The other attendants of the party (all SciForums members) started givin him really bad vibes maaaan. Moonchild eventually ended up locking himself in a closet, claiming that everyone was out to get him.
It took Another hour of pleading by former SciForums moderator Lucy Dean to convince Moonchild to exit the closet. This was only temporary as moonchild ignored Dean's motherly reassuring voice ("We're not going to hurt you maaaaaan. Everything is groovy. We love you!") and bolted straight for the front door.

Moonchild walked a total of 6 miles (a journey he later described as "a far out trippy ride") to his apartment, logged in to SciForums administrative panel, and began the manic permabanning of every single member. The next day (01-01-1970 - approximately 2 pm), Moonchild awoke naked in a grassy field two blocks from his apartment. The words "I am god" were written on his torso in red lipstick. Moonchild didn't know what it meant or where he could have obtained the lipstick (since he didn't own any), so this message remains a mystery to this day.

The aftermath

Moonchild decided to step down as moderator of SciForums after his reckless ban-fest. SciForums became a silent wasteland for the next 30 years, its only inhabitants being microbes and bacteria - slowly climbing the evolutionary ladder to repopulate the forums with complex life.