childhood issues with friends

Discussion in 'Human Science' started by palette, May 23, 2003.

  1. palette Registered Member

    Messages:
    22
    One of my best friends and boyfriend had a very lonely childhood. He also didn't have a good realationship with his family, has issues gradewise in school, and little things people do have huge impacts on his life. the last one is more of the fact that he's taken the approach of "why couldn't I do that??" A few years ago, in middle-school, he had such big issues with jealousy that he burned himself to get the feeling to go away. I took him to our school counselor and he's talked to his parents about the issue. Although he says he's gotten over the idea of burning himself, but I don't think his feeling of jealousy has ever quite gone away because he tends to show through his actions that it hasn't. Ever time he says the feeling gone for good it just goes away and comes back. I know I'm not helping because he's sometimes jealous of me, but I kind of want to make sure that nothing will happen.
    What advice can you give me to help him?
     
  2. Google AdSense Guest Advertisement



    to hide all adverts.
  3. sargentlard Save the whales motherfucker Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    6,698
    Therapy...good luck with that..nothing will help out more than talking it out. Also check if he may have any mental or personality disorders. Again good luck

    Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!

     
  4. Google AdSense Guest Advertisement



    to hide all adverts.
  5. palette Registered Member

    Messages:
    22
    as far as I know, he doesn't have any mental or physical disorders. he just put too much thought into what life could be and how his isn't perfect
     
  6. Google AdSense Guest Advertisement



    to hide all adverts.
  7. sargentlard Save the whales motherfucker Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    6,698
    That in itself could be a maladaptive disorder of sorts. I suggest you get him therapy. Being angry at things you can't control and being harful t oyour self for things you can't control screams for help...get him some. Good luck with that
     
  8. DarkEyedBeauty Pirate. Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    730
    I don't know how to go about this, I'm certainly no psychologist, but I definately think that this boy needs to realize how much he does have, and be grateful for that. He should try to work harder for the things that he wants, and put some more effort into getting them instead of coveting. If there is one thing that I think you could do, it's maybe to take him on a trip to anywhere where people are homeless or starving. He'll be a little more appreciative after that. Please don't honestly seek and take the advice of forum posters however, if you're this concerned, consult a professional.
     
  9. sargentlard Save the whales motherfucker Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    6,698

    I hope you mean don't listen to the ones that post sarcastic responses because otherwise i have seen many threads asking for help and many wonderful and thoughtful responses following that need for help. It's a matter of filtering out the idiotic advice.
     
  10. DarkEyedBeauty Pirate. Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    730
    Well, I don't know enough about palette to assume she's (?)intelligent enough to choose the best advice. I hope she would be able to decipher between genuine aid and sarcastic crap, but I really think seeking a professional is the best idea.
     
  11. palette Registered Member

    Messages:
    22
    he's talked to his school counselor and she seems to help him. Ithink the more people he tells the better it is. he doesn't want therepy and his parents said no anyway. I think taking him to a professional is out of my hands, I can only impact their decisions. I just needing a new suggestion.

    By the way, I think I can pick the good advice and filter out the bad. He's my friend - anything I think would possibly harm him I wouldn't do.
     
  12. BillClintonsCigar Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    160
    In the script of The Sopranos a mother burns her child with cigarettes. Apparently this came from when her mother would hold her hand over the stove, and this is why this mother now passes on the abuse. Maybe it has something to do with this?
     
  13. palette Registered Member

    Messages:
    22
    his mom smokes and when she tried to quit he helped her. It didn't work out and she would get incredibly mad at him for hiding her cigarettes. There relationship was never the same.
    But, I think the only reason he resulted in burning himself was because matches were available.
     
  14. BillClintonsCigar Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    160
    When we consider there is nothing to begin with, anything else must have come from somewhere. The fact someone takes it upon themselves to burn themselves means this has come from somewhere. Unless there was a meteorite sometime in the last thousand years, and one of the ancestors were involved, then the causes must be quite recent.
     
  15. New Life Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    371
    he sounds like he's got a form of depression to me. In fact he sounds a LOT like the depressed people I know, including how I sounded when I was as such. I agree with the others, you need to at least talk to a proffessional to see how you can be helping if he wont go.

    other than that about all you can do is be a good friend and listen and be ready to help at any time!

    good luck!
     
  16. palette Registered Member

    Messages:
    22
    I think it's because he's coming out of depression.



    I think this is the best advice I could get. Thanks!
     

Share This Page