The comics of the Olden Days fight a difficult battle against the works of this Era: real graphic artists, modern electronic tools, editors with actual writing skills (well, mostly) and a readership mercilessly inoculated against utter poop. Yet, still, the prints of This Era and That still do provoke the occasional chuckle or even tears of amusement. I thought, perhaps, that anyone coming across anysuch might post them her for the amusement - and societal embarrassment - of all. To wit, I give you possibly the dumbest comic cover ever: Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Batman - who now resembles a barrel-torsoed, gorilla-armed dwarf - has been foiled by a net dropped by his archenemy, Mr. Average Citizen. A weighted net - ooh, quite a challenge for the Dark Knight. Next, Mr. Average will drop him in a pool. No sharks or laser-guided pirahnas. Just a pool. Take that, Caped Crusader! And then he'll throw pies at him. Eh. It would be good enough for the likes of Owlman, I'm sure. Yet the dumbest part of all - yes, you see it - is in the lower left corner of the page. That's right: Robin is apparently reading about Batman's early-career mishap in a hardcover book edition of his diary, seeming professionally printed and marked with a frigging Bat-logo. Even the spine is marked, presumably for easy identification at Chapters. Why has Batman taken the time to print up and bind a presumably authoritative version of his personal diary? No idea. "Dear diary, I've tried and I've tried, but I can't seem to stop thinking about my youthful ward, Dick. And so forth. One can only imagine the comments of the typesetters, slapping their knees as they recounted his follies with a copy just off the press. "Woudja look at this, Marv? Th' Caped Crusader wuz trapped up by a simple weighted net! Well, when we's plans our own crime spree, be sure to bring one!"
Fixted! Maybe I should have written for DC back in the day. "Where's yas cover yous was s'posed to be showin'?" "Uh...I thought it wuz right here." "Well, it ain't! So yous got a date wit my brass knuckles!"
Funny. "A fight? Well, I wouldn't want the boys to think I'm not both progressive and feminine. I'm sure it's nothing they can't handle for a few minutes."
Don't you just hate it when you're parachuting into enemy territory - in your tank, no less - and the sons of bitches attack you with aircraft... :bugeye: (Naturally, the obvious solution is to climb out & crack away with your sidearms !) Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! The actual cover art is kind of funny, but the fact that it wasn’t a send up in kind of bizarre.
Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Is this for real?: Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Lol
I see the graphic artist decided that the tank crew - in addition to their small arms - would employ only the coaxial machinegun, rather than the main gun of the presumably M3 Stuart tank. Because firing your 37mm main weapon from a tank parachuting behind enemy lines as a Japanese Zero arcs in at you - well, that would just be silly.
In similar vein to the Superman cover above, I give you: "Long John Silver and the (Ass) Pirates" Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! "Aaarh! I'll bet ye thinks I molested yon large-headed man-childe w' enigmatically supportive expression! Har har! I'll have ye know, I ne'er touched 'im! At least, not until tonight!" Note the collapsed pirate at low centre, who seems unable to come to grips with the enormous horror of pederasty.
And no-one had the sense to stay under armour and fire the bow MG either. Nor the (okay, usually removed) extra MGs that would be on either side in the squared-off cutout just below the elbow of the guy lying down. Obviously the US gov't picked a less-than smart crew to parachute into enemy terrotory. Presumably they all died and that's why it became Jeb Stuart's* Haunted Tank. * I'm open to correction here as it's close to 4-1/2 decades since I last saw a copy of Whoever's Haunted Tank... (He says, in a probably vain effort to reduce his public geek rating).
You know, from the title I would have hoped for a slightly different cover. I mean thought there'd be a slightly different cover. Whew! I'm sure no one noticed.