Gender Disappointment

Discussion in 'Free Thoughts' started by Orleander, Nov 14, 2009.

  1. Orleander OH JOY!!!! Valued Senior Member

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    I can relate to gender disappointment. I didn't want a daughter and was disappointed when I had one. We had no more children after that because I didn't want to risk having 2 daughters.
    I think a lot of women and men can relate, but it is something people rarely admit to because it is seen as selfish.
    Why is it selfish to want a specific sexed child? :shrug:
     
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  3. superstring01 Moderator

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    I sometimes fathom wanting a son. Being a male, I like the idea of being a father to a son. If I were, however, with a guy who wanted children, I could also fathom having a daughter. But. . . I'm also quite addicted to my free time and ability to get up and do WHATEVER I want. That would be a big sacrifice for me to make, and one I'm loath to ever consider making.

    ~String
     
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  5. Orleander OH JOY!!!! Valued Senior Member

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    do you think its selfish of a person to want a child of one sex over the other?
     
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  7. shichimenshyo Caught in the machine Registered Senior Member

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    To some degree, yes it is.
     
  8. Orleander OH JOY!!!! Valued Senior Member

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    why? My brother and his wife have 5 sons. Their only daughter was stillborn. Would it be selfish for her to be disappointed that their youngest boy wasn't a girl?
    I think everyone wants a specific sexed child and just says "I just want a healthy child" because that's what is expected.
    I never said that.
     
  9. John99 Banned Banned

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    NO. But that doesn't mean you have to be an imbecile about things and not accept it. If a human has a brain the human can and, sometimes, will have preferences.
     
  10. Orleander OH JOY!!!! Valued Senior Member

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    I agree. Its not like my sister in law puts dresses on her youngest, but I do catch her looking longingly at my daughter.
     
  11. shichimenshyo Caught in the machine Registered Senior Member

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    I think that is a generalization about parents. Some parents really do not care they just want to be a parent. Its a 50/50 shot I'm not saying it makes you a bad parent to be disappointed, but it does seem just a bit selfish.
     
  12. Orleander OH JOY!!!! Valued Senior Member

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    so you never cared if your wife gave birth to a boy or girl?
     
  13. shichimenshyo Caught in the machine Registered Senior Member

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    No, I don't think I would...however I have no intention of having children anytime in the near future so I don't know what the expectations are of a soon to be parent, nor do I judge them for being disappointment, just seems like if the kids in good health it should be a blessing, not a disappointment.
     
  14. Orleander OH JOY!!!! Valued Senior Member

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    yeah, it seems that way til you have them. Especially when you have 5 boys.
    My daughter went to a daycare with a girl who had 10 older sisters and one younger brother. I think having babies til you get the sex you want is selfish. Those 11 girls knew they weren't the kid their parents wanted
     
  15. cluelusshusbund + Public Dilemma + Valued Senior Member

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    Well of couse its selfish... everthang people do is for selfish reasons :shrug:
     
  16. Anti-Flag Pun intended Registered Senior Member

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    What I don't understand is why people prefer one gender over another, is it really a big deal?

    Anyways, I'm going to keep trying until I get what I want - one that isn't a pain in the ass.

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  17. Orleander OH JOY!!!! Valued Senior Member

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    I think if you raise a son and a daughter, you will prefer one over the other.
     
  18. Anti-Flag Pun intended Registered Senior Member

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    But surely that's not based purely on their gender?
     
  19. Orleander OH JOY!!!! Valued Senior Member

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    No, but gender has a lot to do with personality. Compare your brothers to your sisters. Which one would you rather raise?
     
  20. mike47 Banned Banned

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    When I was younger and much younger I mean, I wanted boys and only boys . Now I see that there is no difference between having boys or girls . From life experiences things show themselves not always as we think .
    Now I will be happy with a girl or a boy as long as they are healthy mentally and physically .
     
  21. Orleander OH JOY!!!! Valued Senior Member

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    Doesn't your daughter post here? I can't imagine a father telling his daughter he would have preferred a boy to her. :bugeye:
     
  22. mike47 Banned Banned

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    Ahhhhhhhhh....!.
    I have no daughter for sure .
     
  23. Tiassa Let us not launch the boat ... Valued Senior Member

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    It was always a daughter for me

    From the first time I ever imagined myself having kids, I imagined a daughter. I have no idea what I would do if I had a son. That is: All my presuppositions about the challenges I would face as a parent were oriented toward having a daughter. I would be running even more blind by a son than I am now.
     

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