This thread got me thinking: I consider myself a modern, open-minded woman. Asexuality absolutely has me stumped. While AVEN has answered a lot of my questions, I can't help but ponder what would cause something like asexuality. I guess I feel about asexuality the way a lot of people feel about homosexuality. The notion's so utterly bizarre and I really struggle to think this is "natural" or not rooted in some kind of illness like fibromyalgia and MS. I've googled, and no article has really rocked my socks off about this. So, brilliant minds: 1) Is there some genetic or biological basis for this? 2) What are other possible explanations? 3) How do I go about being less ill at ease about this? I really would like to overcome some preconceived notions about this, and I don't know how to say that without sounding like a moron.
You could investigate the notion that we are not our bodies, nor our minds or emotions, nor can we be reduced to some popular notions that a society has about who and what a person really is or is supposed to be.
Right. We're made of fairy dust and magick. And that's magick with a "ck!" Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! I'm trying to foster an intelligent discussion to better understand 1% of our population because I think they deserve to be better understood, and I would like to be pointed to a good starting place, or at least one better than, "Don't look to SOCIETY for an answer." I was asking individuals as they understand it for a reason.
I can see the benefit for religious reasons. Desire can distract practitioners from pure religious thought and/or actions. I can see why some people abstain for moral reasons, because they see sex is devoid of morals if it's superficial and meaningless. I can see some people just do not have the biological urges to procreate or they do not have any sexual feelings. I can understand them, but I don't feel that way myself.
having looked at the thread and aven, am i right in saying the definition of asexual equates to having no libido? here's a bunch of ideas: -thinking with your dick is pretty bad for your survival if the other males are bigger than you. -low libido means only the sexiest contenders would get some action, and assuming sexy correlates with healthy/suitable, the whole natural selection thing is occurring. this led to libidos so low = asexual? -everyone likes hard to get, asexuals play extremely/impossibly hard to get = rape = pass on the genes. personally i think its more likely to be a dominant mutation, complications during physical or mental development, certain psychological experiences etc. basically a screw up somewhere along the line. i think people have so many other things going on in their lives, as well as so many differences in sexual tastes, that i hope it wouldn't really be a big deal to me if a person i knew was asexual. i find my own sexual tastes bizarre enough that i try not to judge people by theirs. if a person told me they were asexual i'd conclude that for them sex doesn't carry all the connotations of power/love/success etc., they'd never had decent sex, they were incapable of decent sex.
I'd think our hormones have much to do with our sex drives. The way we feel also has something to do because when depression, illnesses or other health related issues arise we tend to change our sex habits as well.
Some simply say they're not attracted to people and are autosexual or whatever. They claim it's like saying homosexual or bisexual people have different hormone levels. :shrug:
Read better, John. I never said it wasn't normal for them. I'm trying to understand if this is just really another sexual orientation like bisexuality or heterosexuality or homosexuality. It's not especially helpful to say, "Oh, it's normal for them." I'm asking to understand why. If I ask to understand why people have brown eyes, telling me it's normal for brown-eyed people doesn't help me understand it better.
you are incapable of understanding it because it has never been part of your own physical make up. here is what you said: i admit i did read natural as normal but the gist of it is weather this is normal or not. there is a difference between what is ideal and what is normal. asexuality is probably more common than people believe but we would not hear about it as we do with other sexual issues. complexity introduces some new issues so we can only accept it as long as no one get hurt or it does not infringre on the rights of others.
I'm not gay either, John, but I understand it. I'm not transsexual, but I understand it. I don't have brown eyes, but I understand it. I don't like eating durian, but I understand it. I was not saying it's dangerous and we need to stop it. I was trying not to be ignorant about a significant segment of society. You're the last person to ask about understanding anything outside your own experience.
what i am saying is that you will never be able to understand it. and what is there to understand anyway? people affected by this cant even fully understand it. same for many things and they dont have to be negative but we are more aware of things when they have a negative connotation.
If the majority are psychologically disturbed people as mainstream society would have you believe, I'm curious. I don't think so, but I don't understand the differences in most repulsed asexuals and, say, the ones that are neutral and in sexual relationships. I realize that people are individuals, but I'd like a general idea about these things. John, I've understood a lot of things by asking questions when it comes to culture and sexual orientation and gender. Why do you think not being asexual or straight or gay means you can't understand it? I understand why I'm a sexual person. I don't think I necessarily hold negative beliefs about it. I don't understand it. John, I'd like to have a discussion to understand asexuality better. If you're not interested in that, stop pissing around just to try to make me feel stupid.
i apologize. there isnt anything to understand though, and i dont think you understand these things but become more aware of them. this is not really understanding them. but dont let me stop anyone.
It can be associated with autism. Issues that seem secondary to sex, like dislike of interacting with actual people, germ phobias, sensory issues with touching- can lead to asexuality.
By "understanding," I mean to make sure I'm not walking around with incorrect notions about asexuality. I think a lot of people are, and 1% is a pretty good chunk. From what I've read, it *is* associated with Asperger's, but the percentage of "repulsed asexuals" is pretty small, and most people with Asperger's are "social but awkward," I've read. I realize Asperger's is not wholly representative of autism. If I can ask, where do you fall with regard to sexual relations as a person with autism?