Don't offer help, just let me vent!

http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/personal/04/14/lw.let.me.whine.nice/index.html

This is a very interesting article.
I like it because it hits home. I rarely enjoy when a g/f just starts venting with a problem that they don't want you to solve, they just want you to listed...especially when she doesn't announce her intentions.

However, the article offers a simple communicative solution (this goes for BOTH genders)...

If a g/f or wife asked me if it was ok for her to just vent, I'd be more than happy to sit down and listen to her, because she took the time to let me know what she needed (I didn't have to guess) and she asked me.
That right there is a classic example of using common sense and not knee jerk emotion to communicate properly with your partner (once again this goes for BOTH genders).

 

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Communication in relationships is always a problem.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-P87DS3aY4w

 

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That can also get tiring. Do you really want to listen to your g/f or b/f vent at you every single time? Much better to not vent at the time when you're most upset. Do something else, take a break then come back and talk about it.

 

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If your g/f or b/f is venting all the time then they're not venting right. The reason someone would vent is because they aren't getting something they need from the relationship. Venting before figuring out what it is that's bothering you is meaningless and irritating - which I imagine a lot of people do.

 

Yeah but the article isn't necessarily talking about a partner venting to their partner about their partner themselves.
A lot of times the partner wants to vent about something totally unrelated to the relationship...like their work, etc.

 

pointless

 

I have a blog for venting. It's very therapudic. The people I care about have access, and they almost never comment. But the people I know understand that I'm never looking for a fix, because I'm not broken. I can fix my glitches myself.
(I can make them too

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)

I'm not a talker. I don't phone friends, I don't sit around talking either. I write a lot, but I've never been one to vent in speech.

Maybe because I'm a heavy editor and I can't take back words once they are out of my lips. I like writing as my medium.

 

I know it is, but some people just have to vent for some reason to get stuff off their chest.
I can understand it, but I don't like to vent to anyone unless I'm fishing for a suggestion or advice for a solution. I feel like I'm wasting my time telling someone about my issues (issues they probably don't want to hear about anyway) just to tell them.

 

pointless

 

I can understand this. I'm just going around making one of those large "pointless" parades because I'm in that kind of mood :shrug: But yeah sometimes people like to listen but they sometimes can't and so it fails.

 

pointless

 

My husband rants because he wants my help. I rant because it makes me feel better.
But I have told him I don't need him to fix it, I just need him to listen. Its very hard for him to not try and fix it. Its just his nature.

 

Just for kicks, you've always been my favoriate member of this forum

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liar liar plants for hire

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It's pointless that should be able to listen?

 

No I'm serious.

 

Haha. No. I was just firing back what you initially wrote.

 

If my s.o. 'forewarned' me that all she wanted me to do was to listen to her vent, I'd sit there and happily listen to whatever she had to say. It shows she's putting forth the effort to communicate on my level and I have endless respect for that.

 

do ever sit there and think of how to solve it? My husband does and it irritates me because I know he's not really listening, he's running through his response (which he can't say) in his head. LOL

 

Maybe his first name is something you don't know, maybe it's Bob or Sean.