The Psychology of the Single Female, a plausible explanation and analysis??

Just felt like posting a grand title.

Seriously, what strategy and prerequisites would I require in order to look attractive to a slightly nerdy girl? (well, deadly smart and intelligent, but not entIREly nerd, just slightly. She's nerdy enough to be spending her summer in a science camp. But she has dated before.)

I need some serious advice here. I'm making headway, I can get her to laugh, and she thinks my remarks are entertaining. But I dare not make any big moves yet.

 

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*Ugh* Every single one of them is different. It depends on so many things. How old is she? Are you dating for sex or companionship or you are auditioning to become her husband? It is hard to say without knowing some specifics.

Everyone's strategy is different. Personally I would give her a very obvious hint in my own way. Sometimes that is difficult for me because I am a huge flirt. Women don't know if I am playing or actually interested..... but anyways, you let her know and see how she would respond. Sometimes they turn into a bitch but that doesn't mean she is not interested. A lot of time she is confused since a lot of things can go through her head. Or maybe she plays hard to get. If she doesn't like you at all she will just be indifferent. When I ask a woman out, she is already expecting it and already have plenty of time to think about it unless if she is really stupid.

Sorry can't help you really. I am pretty confused by women myself lately.

 

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Oh, sometimes you can tell if a woman is interested in you. Instead of just making eye contact, they actually look into your eyes. The other way is when people have conversations, they keep a distance with the person they are comfortable with. If she likes you, she wants to be within your space. If "eyes" are your strong point, you can actually see them stare right into your pupils. They literally get lost in your eyes. Actually, you can try to seduce her that way. That is how I do it

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Dunno. Can't help you there. I am dumb. I have trouble with women lately. Don't take me too seriously.

 

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What if we are of different race?

And I am looking for companionship. Within your space? Ahh...

Any other strats than eyes?

Xev, your advice would be highly appreciated...what do intelligent girls look for?

 

Ooooohhh..... Ya race makes big difference. What race is she? Also nationality too. Hispanic women are very straight forward and don't play mind games....Caucasian women are exact opposite. They are very predictably unpredictable though. Jewish women.....if they like you they want a quick shag, but in the end they really want to date their own kind. I never dated Blacks or Asians so I wouldn't say I know. I ask a black female friend of mine in school if she would ever go after guys of different race, she said "nope, strickly niggerly". Actually she also said black women have inferiority complex when it comes to looks so they are afraid of chasing guys outside of their race.

Width of your dick

You will find a lot of dumb women want similar things, but all intelligent women want different things so it is hard to predict. Some are quite weird.

 

Zero:

What race? C'mon, give us the juicy details man!

Me? A man who won't leave me, cheat, and has a pulse.

Okay okay, no hijacking to be self-depreciating.

Umm.....

A guy who can hold a conversation on intellectual subjects. And who shows interest in you rather exclusively - feed the ego.

 

What the average women wants...

"Ambition & industriousness; favorable social status; good financial prospect"


What the average male wants....

"Good looks"

Source: Hergenhahn & Olson. An introduction to theories of personality. Prentice Hall: Upper Saddle River, 398.

 

Ambition is the desire to change your social status, gain more material possessions, et cetera. It's a weakness.

Unless you are talking about the ambition ti improve in some manner, such as learn more, become more tolerant, et cetera. That's fine by me, and does not go against anything in the Book Of Adam.

 

Oh, Adam? What about if material things are what you enjoy in life? What if I truly desire to travel around Europe? It would certainly take ambition to get the money for that.

 

It's craving possessions and status for their own sake, to boost the ego, that I find a weakness.

As a means to an end, well, I do stuff for money as well.

 

You're vastly over generalizing. To be ambitious means to know what one wants and be more than willing to do what it takes to get what one wants. That is a perfectly honourable attribute.

 

I have no idea which they mean. But I'm guessing since these series of studies come from a mainly sociobiologcal stance, that status is a big part of it.

I agree with you though, I consider it a weakness. But then again we're both single.

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Actually you're generalizing and Adam is more discriminating, but beside the point I think what you said is probably what they mean, just a general knowing of what one wants and trying to get it.

 

ambition is natural. like fear.

 

And apparently, hijacking topics is natural.

GIVE ZERO HIS TOPIC BACK OR I'LL HIT YOU ALL WITH THE HOLY HERRING OF NETIQUETTE!

Except Joeman.

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Read this How to be an AFC, the secrets of the chump.

Go to the guide, read it, and do not do what it says. Read the thread, if you read what I am saying, and it's making lots of sense to you, congratulations, you are an open-minded person.

Becareful also, I've dated the most innocent girl, sweetest cute voice, straight A's, etc. etc. she ended up playing me in the end, don't judge a book by it's cover.

Good, be humor. You making her laugh = you're a man that's able to make her feel comfortable around you.

"I dare not date to make big moves yet."

Do not fear rejection, and listen to this quote

"Hesitation is just like masturbation, in the end, you're just screwing yourself"

You're thinking too much, girls want guys with confidence...don't be afraid to do something wrong, you'll come off as weak, don't be afraid of her, she's just a woman!!

Be confident, exciting, funny, etc.

Most of all don't fear the woman, it'll lead to your downfall.

And listening to advice does not make you a fake person, people say that because they want to only listen to themselves. You must be really open minded here, it takes alot of courage to accept what I say. Women all over the world read magazines such as Cosmo, Glamour, etc. etc. stuff like that, that gives them advice on men...so does that make them fake people? NO!

You are improving, and if you can't accept improvement, then get rid of your ego, everyone has room for improvement, no one is a master.

 

Xev, I don't consider this being a hijack. Zero wanted to know what women want. I posted some research about it, which included "ambition". We were just discussing what they mean by ambition in these studies.

 

Cool. I'll try some stuff.

I'm sure I won't cheat. I've got the willpower for it.

I can hold my own (oh more than hold my own) in intellectual subkects, I have a pulse (I think)...

I can feed anyone's ego. I think I'm good. Anything else?

 

It's all predestination...

Normally I would think this belongs in a completely different forum website, but since you're working in some kind of science angle, I'll bite.

What is it you're looking for? A date, a relationship, or sex?

Whatever it is, she's most likely already made up her mind. There's little you can "do" at this point, other than continue to be friendly, and most of all, yourself. Don't be afraid to show her what you show all your real friends. If you're a crass bastard around them, she's probably going to figure that out anyway. That might even be what turns her on. But don't constantly over-correct yourself and agonize over everything you say and do. If she doesn't like something you say or do, and shuns you for it, then she's probably not worth the effort. It sounds like you're young, and there's probably more than a few hormones working their way with your perceptions. It's been proven that brains that fall in love are high in phenethylamine, or PEA, which is similiar to amphetamine and also found in chocolate. The beginning stages of love are a rush, and like any drug, there is a comedown. Not to deromanticize or reductionalize the situation, but since you are posting in a science forum, this information is fair game. Too many people, I think, try too hard to change themselves at the beginning of a relationship (many guys I know shun their old friends as part of this process) in order to constantly please their mate, only to see someone entirely different after the fallout and reality sets in later. Be yourself. Consider the possibility that this won't last, so enjoy it for now, and don't bend yourself out of shape for it.

Judging from the description of the circumstances, (science camp), you guys are young and I would think that a girl who is at a science camp is interested in mental pursuits and not overly emotional interaction. She might prefer to be independent for now, to distance herself from the notion that she needs to have a boyfriend. The possibility is that she herself doesn't know what to do with the strange processes of boy-girl interactions, and so moving too fast can result in dark dark times very quickly.

Or not. She could be simmering like the band camp chick in American Pie. In that case, brother - do what you're told. In the meantime, get some exercise up in ya.

John Le Coq

 

My opinion,

What do women, or for that matter people, like in others?

Confidence.

People are attracted to people who are comfortable and enjoy yourselves. Also, don't try to hard. If you try to hard you get in the way of yourself. In other words care but don't care - if that makes sense. Ask her straight up if she wants to go do an activity with you. If she refuses, try a couple more times. If she is avoidant (has only semi-legitimate excuses) after a number of times, drop it. If you don't have confidence in yourself to do this she won't have confidence in you.

Also, people radiate emotions. Being around happy people generally causes you to be happy. Feeling good about yourself and expressing this will cause others to feel good.