Homoerotic gestures from "straights"

A phenomenon I've observed over the years.

Overtly homosexual/homoerotic comments or physical passes by people who do not identify as homosexual or identify predominantly as heterosexual.
Some of these people are definitely not telling the truth.

In the somewhat distant past, this was exhibited by a guy who dated several girls while I knew him, but he had a preponderance for hugging me, holding me, more than once kissing me, etc. One of his closest friends referred to him as being gay.
One of the last times I ever saw him was at a restaurant with his then-current girlfriend. On that occasion just before we were leaving, I was sitting at another table and he put his arms around me and was kissing the top of my coat (I had my hood on, it was winter). He was saying something about how he loved me, etc. I remember his girlfriend, who I also knew from school, as looking kind of angry or fed up at that very moment.
Ditto for another guy I knew at the time, though his actions towards me were more subdued and not as obvious, though I could completely tell he liked me.

At a more later date, concerning one of my brother's bandmates. I've heard my brother make comments about him before. One time, I was at the house they both shared, standing on a counter trying to get tupperware from a ceiling level cupboard. This person in question came into the kitchen, started grabbing both at my ass and my crotch. It continued for several minutes as I was getting the tupperware containers from the cupboard. I half-heartedly tried to fend it off, but to be honest, I didn't really care. Not that I enjoyed it, I just didn't care. I actually found it funny that he was doing this, being the person that he is.

This guy in question is definitely more stereotypically heterosexual than the previously mentioned examples, but in this case, the persistent touching was over the top and somewhat uncomfortable. If it had been someone else doing it, I'm not sure what I would've thought.
This same person also seems to bring up my sexuality alot. Attracted to other guys and whatnot.
He once told me he had a book for me. A week or two later at my brother's band practice, he gave me the book.
The Joy of Gay Sex.

I did not request the book, nor after receiving it do I see the resemblance between it and my sexuality. It's interesting, but it doesn't really appeal to who I am. For those unfamiliar with the book, it's basically an overview of so-called gay sexual practices. My first impression upon opening it and reading was that it was written for someone different.

Last example, someone I work with. Never fails to make homoerotic references towards me, though I have never told him I'm attracted to guys. He just does it. And he's the type you'd call a whore. I constantly hear about how many young women he's fu**ed. Just recently, he gestured towards my crotch as if he was jerking me off. Also, I asked him point blank if he's ever attracted to guys. He answered, "Sometimes."

What does all this mean.

I don't want to hear stupid answers or excuses. I've observed this nonsense from people that I knew were definitely into their own gender or at least strongly bisexual, as well as from people that I thought were typical heterosexuals, but whose actions prompted me to rethink that.

 

Log in or Sign up to hide all adverts.

You are attractive to some members of the gay community.
or
You don't know when your leg is being pulled.

Probability assessment 87:13.

Second, despite your beliefs to the contrary you may have some latent homosexual, or at least bisexual leanings that gays are picking up on.

 

Log in or Sign up to hide all adverts.

Log in or Sign up to hide all adverts.

The first two examples I gave were of people that I'm positive were predominately homosexually oriented or at least strongly bisexual, which makes the behavior understandable, though the second guy was almost the opposite to the point of going out of his way to ignore me and make it obvious that he was doing so.

The second two examples are not at all typical homosexuals. The first guy, my brother's friend, has dated a number of girls and currently dates one, had a stack of hetero porn mags, talked sexually about women, etc. Anyone who knows him would most likely identify him as straight. He also makes more gay or homoerotic references than probably anyone I know. My brother commented on exactly that, and says that it's especially prevalent when he's drunk. He uses the word "faggot" plenty, but alot of people do, including myself sometimes. He's not homophobic or even opposed in any way to homosexuality unless he feels like being contrary (he likes to argue pointlessly sometimes, probably just to frustrate people).

I don't believe to the contrary: I am very attracted to other guys.
My brother's friend seems to enjoy bringing it up, illustrated perfectly by him giving me the Joy of Gay Sex book, which still perplexes me somewhat.
However, the episode I described in the first post where he was basically fondling me (grabbing my ass and my crotch area :scratchin: )I really have to wonder why.
I don't consider him in any way a closet case. Some people are very obviously in denial, some have some of the symptoms, and some are very obviously hetero, at least for the most part. This guy I would put in the latter class usually, but maybe there's another, stranger class?

Does that type of overt homoerotic behavior serve as some kind of ego boost or validation, albeit in maybe a more involuntary and subconscious way? Like, perhaps it serves to help suppress a latent bisexuality by actually acting it out in an outrageous or mocking way which downplays it or subdues it? That going over the top with it makes it a joke and thus allows it to be more easily separated from the person?
Psychobabble? Slightly, perhaps, but I think that may well be one reason for behavior like that.

The guy I work with who makes a lot of comments to me may have a similar motive, or may have different reasons entirely.

Some may simply say it's a "guy" thing, because guys make sexual comments more often than women, from my experience. However, this type of behavior exhibited above tends to come from a smaller number of guys, and tends to be more personally oriented rather than generalised homoerotic banter about nothing specific.

The latter two examples would undoubtedly identify themselves as "straight" I am sure, but the commentary and gesturing kind of confuses me, because I don't see it from many guys, or at least not to that extent.

I'm just wondering if maybe there are any psychology majors (or hobbyists?

Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!

) who may be familiar with this type of phenomenon.

And how did you arrive at THAT number?

 

Married with children does NOT a heterosexual make.

Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!

What high-profile news item are you referring to?

This former coworker/friend once dated an ex-girlfriend of my brother. She said they were basically good friends. ( I think I remember hearing him say that he had kissed some guy at his school once) It was several years later that I ran into him in the restaurant where he was with his girlfriend at that time. I saw him last year for a short. I don't know who or what he dates now. I think he would be better off with a guy.

Which guy? My former coworker? Never insulted him about it, and don't even see him anymore...

 

32.4% of statisitics are fabricated on the spot.

 

that is sooooo funny!

 

a fabrication

 

Look...this is simple.

If a guy is acting gay towards you, punch him in the face. I'm 100% serious here, men don't touch me in this way ever. If they did I would put the fear of death into them immediately. Simply put, it's unacceptable behavior.

It's my guess you're just an efeminite man, or haven't fully completed puberty.

Your options are simple.
- Admit you're gay.
- Beat the crap out of men who make sexual advances on you (after warning them of course).

 

No. You are simple.

 

I agree with this post.

 

You said you could fine the quote where I made a false claim, find it and get back to me. Until then shut the lip.

 

Different thread. Different beef. If you don't wish to be treated as a simpleton, don't act like one. Now please return this thread to Giambattista's purpose.

 

25% of claims of statistical fabrication are fabricated, with a deviation of +- 8.5%. :runaway:

 

Unacceptable to who? First of all, I've known this guy for years and consider him a friend. He's well known for this kind of thing. To just punch him in the face is a really stupid suggestion. I don't find him all that attractive, but I found his advances toward me intriguing in that I've always thought of him as a heterosexual except for these types of advances. He also got punched in the face by another person I know for grabbing his ex-girlfriend's (who was dating the person who punched him) crotch. He's very good at inciting things. I don't know what to say about that other than that he enjoys doing that kind of thing.

-First of all, you misspelled "effeminate".

Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!

-I am beyond puberty, by many years.

Those closest to me, including the guy (the one who was grabbing at me) in question, know that I like guys. I don't care what "gay" means. The word "gay" means very many things, both according to its archaic sense as well as modern definition, and yet it personally means very few things to me.

I'm not really insulted if guys make advances towards me. What I do find perplexing is "straight" guys who make an unusual amount of homoerotic comments to me, or physical gestures. Most guys I know don't do that. Some are very repulsed by the fact that other guys are coming on to them. Others make alot of overtures of their own.

This thread is about "straight" guys who make an inexplicable amount of homoerotic overtures toward other guys.

 

Ridiculoius. Go punching someone for something like this. No offense but they either think you are gay and are trying to get a rise out of you or well thats about it. This si no big deal because things like this can happen. I think you and your friends have some serious issues though.

 

Lol. So whose ball game is it anyway? Men who enjoy comfort by another man's touch? Or men who enjoy to tease another man's comfort? It all sounds innocent to me—it's not as though your friend was venomously queer.

 

I think this is piece of evidence in favor of what buddha1/man2008 has been saying all along about men...

 

Hello bhudda1. Did man2008 get banned, then?

 

Er ... I'm confused, one way or another

Giambattista

Help me out, please. I'm confused. I thought I understood the topic post, but a couple of the responses suggest I missed something. So ... just to clarify for my benefit: You're talking about allegedly straight men who flirt with you or otherwise display the kind of homoerotic behaviors that would, according to some straight men, earn them a punch in the face?

Or do I have that completely confused?