Why do I feel the need to cry?

Discussion in 'Free Thoughts' started by Absane, Sep 8, 2008.

  1. Absane Rocket Surgeon Valued Senior Member

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    Serious. It seems that in the last few months I have moments where I want to cry for no reason. If I try to fake a smile during this time, the urge is stronger. I cannot identify a cause nor can I even force myself to cry to "let it out."

    This shit has been torturing me.

    Well, I kind of hate my life right now so that might be the cause. Work weeks are 50-60 hours long in a job I hate with people that I consider slow (or maybe because I'm too fast?!). I feel like I am RESPONSIBLE for things that others are not taking care of and I'll feel guilty if I don't do it, even if it is not an issue I should be concerned with.

    College is over and I don't know what to do.

    Also, I have noticed that in the same period of time as this "urge to cry" started, my right eye lost its dominance and my left eye has taken over. This shift is so prominent that if I look with both eyes I'm unaware that I am even looking out of my right eye... but DO NOT WORRY... my right eye is 100% healthy... I see 20/20 out of it.

    I take it that this means my brain is shifting dominance from left to right?

    My creativity is skyrocketing... I'm having the most random ideas that I fail to write down. That is something I should do because many of my ideas are marketing related for some unknown reason... and I'm sure someone could use them.

    And my sex drive is through the roof lately, too. I just turned 24 and I feel like I am 15 all over again. And yes, I'm getting zits again. I'll take a shower at 9 am and by 11 am, my face and hair are a greasy mess.

    I haven't lifted weights or done anything physical in the last two months or so... I feel fat and lazy.... but I'm not... I'm hyperactive.

    ????

    And why can't people do things fast? Or why can't I slow down?! I could have papers sorted in 1/10 the time someone else could. They do 5 tasks, I have already done 20 and gone home. And where the fuck is the work ethic? My ONE dream in life is to work with a group of people that know how to get shit done. In my whole life I've run across a maximum of 5 people that could get shit done without having to putt around and bullshit.

    This whole post probably explains a few things to answer my question. Looks like I did it myself.

    I've never had a friend I trusted enough to talk to... not even in my family. I don't call people to talk and I don't see people to talk... when I'm with someone, it's because we want to do something, not talk.

    Thank you stream of consciousness writing. There is more that I would like to say but I'm afraid to admit them to myself.
     
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  3. camilus the villain with x-ray glasses Registered Senior Member

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    damn absane, i think ur going insane lol.

    what job do you work at?

    and by the looks of things, you may be depressed, although Im no psychologist or doctor..

    have you tried a little something called :m:cannabis:m: ??

    Im almost sure it would help

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  5. skaught The field its covered in blood Valued Senior Member

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    Absane: Sounds like stress! I can't imagine anyone having to go through what you are going through and not feeling the urge to cry often! I know that sometimes in times of stress, creativity can peak as the minds way of keeping itself sane and having something else to focus on. The sex drive can sometimes skyrocket as well for the same reason. My guess is that you use both creativity and sex as stress relief, which is fine as long as the sex doesn't cause you to engage in unsafe activities. I suggest carrying a small notebook around or just a piece of scratch paper and a pen and quickly jot down your creative thoughts and then come back to them at a time that is more appropriate. Sometimes knowing that we have a good idea at hand, the fear of loosing that idea or forgetting it can cause stress and anxiety. And if you have a girlfriend, well... go to town! If not, rub a few out as often as you need to. Just be careful about engaging in unsafe behaviors.
     
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  7. skaught The field its covered in blood Valued Senior Member

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    Oh, and I can just about guarantee that using elicit mind altering substances would be a very bad idea!!!!!!!
     
  8. camilus the villain with x-ray glasses Registered Senior Member

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    man fuck that, just smoke some herb:m::m:

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  9. camilus the villain with x-ray glasses Registered Senior Member

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    it works for me all the time, and that shit aint no drug, its a goddamn plant!

    its side effects are hungry, happy, and sleepy. thats it.
     
  10. skaught The field its covered in blood Valued Senior Member

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    Actually studies have more or less proven that long term marijuana use can lead to depression, panic disorders, short and long term memory loss, deterioration of cognitive abilities including learning new things. I work in a treatment center and have seen first hand the long term effects of long term marijuana use and it isn't pretty. People's IQ drops significantly as does there general quality of life.
    If someone chooses to use marijuana, Thats fine, but I would rarely recommend it for people. And I would never recommend it to someone who is currently experiencing extreme stress.
     
  11. jessiej920 Shake them dice and roll 'em Valued Senior Member

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    Absane, I feel ya'

    I'm 23, about to finish college, the economy sucks, there's no jobs, I'm broke ass poor, all the things I want to do I can't and all the things I have to do make me want to hurt someone...

    People keep asking me what I'm going to do with my degree and what I really want to say is "well, I'm going to shove it up your ass if you don't stop asking"...sadly, I don't say this. I smile and make up some BS like I have a plan...which I don't.

    Try a shot of vodka and a valium. Or maybe a vacation. I'm taking all three

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  12. camilus the villain with x-ray glasses Registered Senior Member

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    see, jessie has the right idea.

    some valium would help out great with the anxiety, not to mention it'll get you fucked up as well, which is a good thing. lol fuck it, just go all out and eat some xanax and oxycontin! yummm

    and Skaught, dont give me that bullshit about weed, i agree with the long term use but smoking an L every now n then will probably help you more than it'll hurt you. although I cant say its for everyone, but it certainly is for me!

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  13. jessiej920 Shake them dice and roll 'em Valued Senior Member

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    Lol. I'm glad someone likes my ideas. I avoid the :m: because it makes me crazy, but I'm good on the Vodka...straight...it eases my pain

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    PS.

    Camilus, I PM'd you. hit me back.
     
  14. one_raven God is a Chinese Whisper Valued Senior Member

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    He didn't notice - he's high.

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  15. jessiej920 Shake them dice and roll 'em Valued Senior Member

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    LOL! It's been a while! I was just thinking I needed to PM YOU and see how you have been. What's new in your lovely end of the universe?
     
  16. camilus the villain with x-ray glasses Registered Senior Member

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    LOL raven. actually, Im not high right now I wish I was. I got a drug test on thursday, so when I come post on thursday at night, then I'll be high as a kite.

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  17. one_raven God is a Chinese Whisper Valued Senior Member

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    Me too.
    I'm at work and I haven't had any for a while.
    I found someone that grows some really good stuff in New York State and moved a few weeks later.
     
  18. camilus the villain with x-ray glasses Registered Senior Member

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    you're little quote "God is a chinese whisper" is actually quite accurate. God is more like the Aum of meditation, but instead of auming while breathing out, you gotta breathe in. according to buddhism, its a sign of enlightenment.
     
  19. one_raven God is a Chinese Whisper Valued Senior Member

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    What is?
    Weed? :bugeye:
     
  20. camilus the villain with x-ray glasses Registered Senior Member

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    no, the Holy Aum (or Om). if you can hummmmmm while breathing in instead of out. try it, its fuckin impossible!
     
  21. camilus the villain with x-ray glasses Registered Senior Member

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    supposedly, only once you reach enlightenment like the Buddha will you be able to do that.
     
  22. Steve100 O͓͍̯̬̯̙͈̟̥̳̩͒̆̿ͬ̑̀̓̿͋ͬ ̙̳ͅ ̫̪̳͔O Valued Senior Member

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    I can hum breathing in.
    Not quite as well as while breathing out though.
     
  23. camilus the villain with x-ray glasses Registered Senior Member

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    i think u got it backwards. if not your a walking god and you must teach me!!
     

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