When: Yesterday Where: Broadway and Pine Me: Cute blond chick in the crosswalk You: Crazy old lady with a mean looking cane and crazy flower hat As the crosswalk gave both you and I the little "running man" signal that told us to get our butts to walkin', some jack-ass with half a brain decides to bust a hard left because he CAN'T a) follow traffic laws b) think with his head so far up his ass) or c) wait to mow down two innocent bystanders (us) in his deusch-tard mobile (bumpin' Fergie) while they were busy going about their fuckin' important days: Me, on the hunt for a large martini (two olives) at Bleu; You, probably out to get groceries (or wack people with your evil, old woman cane). As the fucktard plows through the crosswalk I am momentarily stunned to a halt, inches from his bumper, thinking I might die of a heart attack or puke on his hood. What do you do, crazy old lady with your nutty flower hat? (And this is why I love you) You scream like a banshee on the hunt for blood(which actually sounded more like a crow cawing...or dying), then proceed to flip off this half-wit who almost killed us, with one knarled old finger while yelling at the top of your lungs "Fuck you motherfucker!". Needless to say, half of Broadway, including the crackheads hanging outside Dick's, turned to stare as this D-bag flees in utter panic and humiliation as you whack his car with your freaky cane, each resounding dent tempered with a "fucking asshole!". It was so awesome Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!. You are SO totally awesome. I hope that dickhead peed his pants. I hope he feels like a complete and utter jackass when he gets home and realizes a woman who probably closely resembles his granny beat the shit out of his speedy little car and called him a "motherfucker". HA! Crazy old lady, flippin' the bird, with your weird flower hat and scary cane...you are my role-model for when I hit 80. Oh yeah, and to the fuck-tard who almost hit me...FUCK YOU! Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
Why.... thank you jessiej920! I'm glad to know that my harsh scolding was appreciated. Actually, I was driving home yesterday, and someone almost pulled out in front of me at an intersection. I drive a 125cc scooter, and the other person was driving an an SUV----the accident wouldn't have been pretty on my end. I think I need to buy one of those yellow reflective vests, and the little orange flag so people can see me.
Is that you, crazy old woman who made my day?? LOL. Crosswalks are dangerous places...as are people in SUV's who can't see over the fucking wheel. Yellow reflective vest, crazy flower hat, a body-sign that says "Break for Pedestrians, Bitches!"....doesn't matter. I saw three construction guys (all wearing yellow vests and orange hard hats) literally have to dive out of a crosswalk the other day because some moron (who I think was high...or drunk...or just apprently stupid) almost ran them over in his service van. People are just morons. I've decided Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!.
oh hell ya...way to go granny! As a full-time pedistrian...i feel your pain...some douche just nearly killed me today making a "California left turn" (thats where you gun it at the green light and turn left before oncoming traffic goes) Wish I had a granny with me.
Oh good! I'm glad to have brought a little laughter into your life. Believe me, there's always more where that one came from Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
Most developed countries in the world aren't considered "super-powers" until they have at least one granny. Iran has ambitions to to develop a granny, but only for peaceful purposes (the polite kind that makes pies during the holidays, and does extensive charity work out of the kindness of their hearts). Of course, places like the UK and United States (who have foul cantankerous grannies themselves, but only use them as deterants) don't agree with it.
Shit, that sounds so dangerous. I'm so glad I live in a rich white suburban neighborhood where people can afford to wait 3 minutes for a left turn *looks both ways*
Haha! That's a false sense of security, you have there Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!. Those maniacal soccer moms in their pimped out Escalades, hopped up on their kids ritalin and too many latte's, speeding around and barely able to see over the wheel...THOSE are the truly dangerous ones Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! And they run RAMPANT in suburbia...
I was thinking that, but i usually cut them off on my bike anyways Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
