This seems to be missing. Varying experiences from the mentally ill might be helpful to research scientists, as well as to other mentally ill. Everyone got to see me travel down the rabbit hole today, so I want everyone to know. I am ok. I am looking into long term care facilities. I appreciate everyone's support/tolerance.
So. Here's me. I'm fairly lucid right now, as I am most of the time. I am diagnosed Bipolar type 2 with schizoid features and as being parasuicidal. These wonderfully helpful terms mean this: Bipolar Disorder type 2:By my understanding you have not evidenced any specific episodes of true mania. Hypomania is common, but tends towards the depressive side. schizoid features:I am vaguely paranoid at times and have auditory hallucinations when extremely depressed or nearing true mania parasuicidal: suicidal thoughts are constant the degree of specificity tends to suggest the degree. Suicide as an option as opposed to any X. I was diagnosed bipolar at age 11. I have been through various types of therapy and have taken many, but not all, combinations of the theme- mood-stabilizer+anti-depressant+anti-psychotic+anti anxiety. My illness was managable for many years. I got my GED. I attended trade school and served an apprenticeship in electricity. I became a journeyman and even woked as a foreman. About 18 months ago, the voices started. I gave up my foreman position. The bipolar episodes over the years had slowly increased in intensity. I sought help. I requested ECT and was denied. Things have kind of gone downhill from there. When I'm not, as I call it, in the rabbit hole, I can look at things objectively. Sometimes I go up above the rabbit hole, feeling invincible and that I can take on the world. Sometimes, when I fall down in the rabbit hole, I become obsessively suicidal and intractable. Logic is not my friend at this point. We have parted company. If I follow any logic it will be a downward spiral. I call this overall experience the roller coaster. Up,down,up,down. Never related to any particular observable phenomena. It can be odd sometimes. I have found myself hypomanic ata funeral as well as depressed at my own birthday. IT's annoying. Hypomania can last from a few hours to weeks. Depressive episodes tend to last for days to years. Right now. I am lucid, in a depressed state. I have made an ass of myself wandering about the boards. People were worried. I am sorry. I have spoken to my wife and we are looking into long-term care facilities. I will restrain any further foolishness to this thread. I would invite anyone else who has mental illness to post in this thread as well. If you do not have a mental illness, your questions and support are welcome here.
I had a friend who was the same way. Also another friend who was schizophrenic, so I can relate. You at least seem lucid enough to recognize your situation, which is really a positive step.
You sound a lot like my dad, except that he thinks there is nothing wrong with him. He's bi-polar and schizo-affective, and strangely enough, he also studied electronics at a trade school. If I could help you, I'd have already helped him. You're lucky that you acknowledge a problem though. It's almost impossible to get help if you don't think you need it.
When I'm down the rabbit hole, whatever I am obsessing about is all I can acknowledge. Perhaps this is his condition, as well.
The hardest part? I'd say the state of being in a mixed state. Where you have lots of energy, don't want to sleep(mania effects) but abhor the idea of DOING anything, increased suicidal thoughts(sometimes called intrusive)(both of which are on the depressive) toss in a bit of undue anxiety(which is something I am told I have, I don't understand it. It's a feeling of icy cold tightness throughout the chest, sometimes accompanied by pains in my head) and just for entertainment-random auditory hallucinations(the most frequent one is that of a large group behind me in the distance-all shrieking at differing pitches. I think of it as Hell's mp3 track.) Or were you looking for just one of these? The experiences almost never come singly, so I would have a hard time judging how to answer THAT question.Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
One thing that is interesting, I feel is worthy of note. The most 'sane' I have ever felt was during the first 3 years of my apprenticeship as an electrician, during which time I got to be well known for working on things 'hot' that no one else would. I got shocked by everything from 120 volts to 480 volts on a weekly basis.
you can't be serious. How do yoiu not let them get to you?:bugeye: 20 years of psychiatric consumer experience and if only they had simply said,"snap out of it." I'd have been cured. Sorry. I get alot of such statements IRL I'm not trying to attack you, but you could stand to raise your awareness a bit about mental illness. Saying not to let it get to me is like telling a cancer patient that they should "walk it off"
Mr. Hamtastic its really hard for people who have never experianced depression to understand it. Its even more difficult when its an illness like bipola which cant be cured, only managed. The stigma against mental illness and the blame associated with it is something that goverments and health proffessionals have been strugling to change for a long time. Campaines like "behond blue" (which was started by the victorian goverment), the black dog foundation and life line continue to strugle against these steriotypes but its not easy. There is something about mental illness that makes people more uncomfertable than "pysical" illness and no matter how many classes on the issue i have i still cant find an adiquiate answer as to why this is the case
Much like fibromyalgia, it can't be "seen". There must be something positive in it? Why? Is there something positive in polio? Do lepers have a positive experience within their suffering? AIDS patients should be glad they don't need to worry too much about old age? Let me shut up now. John99 google NAMI.
Diagnoses are a tricky thing. Once a person is diagnosed with a particular condition, many doctors and other people then expect the so diagnosed person to behave in a certain way in accordance with the diagnosis, and sanction whenever the person does not behave that way. This way, even an initially erroneous diagnosis can actually become true, or an already existing condition become worse. The "patient" is sometimes even told things like - "Oh, look at you, you've been well for a week, you didn't have any depressed episodes. Something must be wrong with you!" We tend to identify with the diagnosis, we tend to think that the illness is somehow inextricably related to "who we really are". The consequences of such identification are no good. Life is like that anyway. Especially in the West, we have this odd notion that we should always be happy, always be content, always be in a good mood - and if we aren't, we tend to think something is wrong with us. But life on Earth is a series of ups and downs - sometimes things go well for us, other times not. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
Greenburg-I agree. Not to mention one's inherent ability to just generally fuck with a stupid doctor who can't think past his textbooks...(one time I was also diagnosed schizophrenic. during a session I sneezed and said,'I'm cured!' and confused the hell out of the doctor. Been 10 years since then but his expression was PRICELESS) On another note... I'm ba-ack! Yes, My incarceration came to an end today. I am(at least temporarily) home. I'll be returning to flaying about in spurious topics and creating cause for debate for the sake of debate. I'll even be back to this thread about the wonders of psychiatry... I am afraid this may be moved to pseudoscience if I do, though. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! I missed you kids!
You feeling better?Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Im sorry you had to be detained but if it helped you im glad
Asguard-Bizarrely enough... not so much. I found a place where I almost fit in Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Orleander-Thx, she's ok. Been a rougher week for her than me it seems.
I've been that wife. Its very hard. Does she go to counseling to learn how to handle your ups and downs?
