Crappy parents have shitty kids who grow up to be crappy parents who have shitty kids... And so it goes...
Hmmmm my mom was a crappy parent. This means I am a crappy parent? So far my kids have never gotten in trouble. They get good grades, everyone always tells me how polite they are. I don't raise them anything like my mom raised me. I don't hit them, like I was. I don't yell and scream and get them out of bed for something ridicolous. I make a big deal out of the holidays and go out of my way to do really cool stuff for Halloween or Birthdays. I didn't have any of that growing up.
Thats not always true, but to some extent it does seem to follow suit. My father had terrible parents. His mother was a flake and his stepfather beat him. He was a much better parent to me than they were to him, but he still has quite a few shortcomings.
Your father wasn't. I had a shitty father, but a great mother. Plus, there are exceptions to every rule. Some people learn from their parents mistakes. It depends how and why they were crappy.
Both my mother and father are the greatest. They have done everything for me and my brothers. The amount they have sacrificed, all they have been through, the strength and bravery they have shown, I have so much love and respect for them. They mean the World to me, just thinking of them fills me with so much pride and happiness. As you said people can learn from the mistakes of others. I will have great difficulty equalling my parents.
My borther is a great father. One night at my brother's house, he had gotten a little buzzed and we were talking about our childhood. My father was there, and being a little defensive - he really was a shitty father, and feels the need to prove otherwise or make excuses for his absolutely inexcusable behavior when it comes up. It got to the point where my brother said to my father, "You were so fucking wrong, it made me right."
Some kid slaps the shit out of his mother on national TV. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kn18H3FKDV4&feature=related Talk about a mom who doesn't know what the hell she's doing. "Dude! Stop it dude!"
unless they are influenced by other than their parents or unless they have strong power of will inside them.
Yeah my father was pretty nice. According to my mom he was too nice. She basically did all the yelling and screaming. He was pretty calm, he would always try to settle her down if he was around. My dad never hit us or dished out the punishment it was always my mom. She always took everything to the extreme. I tell my kids sometimes when I am giving them hell, they got it easy compared to what I would have gotten. They probably find it hard to beleive because she was like a different person with them. I can't beleive how nice she was. She was a great grandmother but a terrible mother. Why do you think that? I mean she was totally different. She never yelled at them and they could do anything. (they never really did anything bad though) But she would have yelled at me for doing the same things they did. I find that strange.
I never got in trouble. I was a model student and I never got in a fight (and still haven't). My parents' friends all thought I was such a "good boy." But that doesn't mean they were good parents. They isolated me from other kids, they thwarted everything I wanted to do (they never used foul language but my mother actually swore at the comic strips I drew). They never hit me but verbal abuse can be just as bad. I went to college and got a high-paying job like they always wanted but I was so full of pain that I wished I was dead. It wasn't until they were both finally dead--when I was 55--that I felt the knot in my stomach slowly loosen up. Bad parenting is hereditary and that's how my parents came by it. My greatest respect goes to those who recover from it, but I thnk far too many people don't really. I knew that I could not so I don't have any. They don't fill the same role in her life that her own children did. It's quite common for people to establish completely opposite relationsihps with their grandchildren than they had with their children. They even have a sick joke about it: Grandchildren are our revenge on our children. I must get one version or another of that one in a spam from someone over 50 at least once a month.
i had shitty mum and a shitty dad! make your own mind up about me, but i knwo my kids are well looked after, and they are not like other teenage kids who will walk around with a knife
Yeah, it doesn't always go that way. I had a crappy grandfather, but I have a great father. My late grandfather was a mayor and then he held important position in one ministry (can't tell which), so he became very rich but he had women everywhere. Those which he married formally was 7 women (married - divorce, married - divorce, etc), so I had 7 grandmothers from my father side and too many uncles/aunties, I can't even remember some of their names, just know their faces. My father on the other side is very honest and faithful. He married just my mum and honest with his profession. Because of the connection with my grandfather, it was easy for him to entered the ministry as well (but just as a government employee). However, many people tried to bribe him. Once when I was in my undergraduate years and had a semester vacation, he asked me to help him to review some bid/tender documents, but I found many of them are fake (I did careful investigation). Later my father told me, that the tenders was arranged in advance (the companies work together to fool the government in the government projects) and he said it was a common practice. I was still in the University when he gave up the job, he felt too stress. Then he started his own business (contractor), but people often cheat him and he took all the risks himself. I think that it wasn't an appropriate career choice for him (basically he is a civil engineer), but I am proud for him and his honesty. My mum is also faithful to him, and never a single time I find her complained to him though sometimes our life was hard. My main objective in life now is just to make them proud of me so their effort will be paid off. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
With proper education and guidance that many schools have today in societies that allow for it, they can help many children overcome asshole parents and sometimes remove the child from said people care if need be.
My mother had a shit early life. She is a noble person and I would like to have 1/10 of the strength and courage she does. I'm a reckless little fucker, but I don't have her kind of courage and resilience in life situations.
