I am going to be an Atheist Preacher

[Starman]

I am going to be an Atheist Preacher at my new Atheist church.

I am going to open my doors directly across the street from the largest Christian Church in San Antonio.

I am going to put a sign out front that reads.

"SALE Tithes only 5%"

[codanblad]

hahaha! "come to church, where sexism is cool!"

[Michael]

You know, that could be VERY VERY funny :D

[Michael]

I wouldn't drop down to 5% though - don't low-ball to quick. Maybe start at 7.8%?

[synthesizer-patel]

I am going to be an Atheist Preacher at my new Atheist church.

I am going to open my doors directly across the street from the largest Christian Church in San Antonio.

I am going to put a sign out front that reads.

"SALE Tithes only 5%"

You could go door to door with copies of the Origin of Species

http://youtube.com/watch?v=JOZQsuLDqBk&feature=related

[YinyangDK]

Build The church and we will join!

All praise the Atheist.

[synthesizer-patel]

Build The church and we will join!

All praise the Atheist.

Can we scism in a few weeks?

[codanblad]

man you wouldn't need low prices at all. just put 'we won't tell you what to do OR judge you for it! cos it won't matter when your dead anyway! we've got sex, drugs and gambling!'

[spidergoat]

http://www.instantrimshot.com/

[codanblad]

http://www.instantrimshot.com/

dude that is so useful. i can't wait to use it on my girlfriend. she's doubted my hilarity in the past, and i think this link is going to change that FOREVER.

[Arkantos]

Atheism is quite the money maker these days.

[Mr. G]

I'm an atheist.

You're just children with cans of rhetorical spray paint.

Grow up. Buy a vowel.

[Captain Kremmen]

Why not not worship Richard Dawkins, who is not the son of God.
Have pictures of him nowhere. That kind of thing.

[Starman]

Why not not worship Richard Dawkins, who is not the son of God.
Have pictures of him nowhere. That kind of thing.

I like the Idea of slot machines, Texas Holdem, for the kids.

We need a good Rock Band.

We are going to pioneer self help groups. A ONE STEP program. We will call it
Stop Doing Stupid Shit program or SDSS for short.

[xvortexbladex]

Great idea, and I was thinking about becoming a door-to-door atheist to show those jehovah's witness what it's like having annoying bastards standing at your door at 1 in the afternoon.

[Medicine*Woman]

Why not not worship Richard Dawkins, who is not the son of God.
Have pictures of him nowhere. That kind of thing.
*************
M*W: Or, rip out the pages of a Holy Bible and call it the Wholy Bible, and leave it on the coffee table.

Or, get dressed up on Sunday and go out to McDonald's.

Or, go to a religious bookstore and leave atheist tracts hidden in the books.

Or, go house-to-house on a Saturday afternoon and whomever opens the door tell them to "have a nice day," and then leave.

Or, go to any place of worship of your choice when it's not in session, and leave atheist tracts in the pews.

BTW, does anybody know if atheist tracts are published? I'd like to order some.

Or, better yet, I'll draft the atheist tract and print them and I will be taking your orders soon.

Atheists Unite!

[ronan]

I think you have already a church (as an institution):
Your gods are the well known scientists such as Einstein
Your ONE GOD is reality
Your priest are the medium scientists
Your prayers are the medicine
Your bible is books from well known scientists
Your temples are a good place out the city maybe, in nature
Your temples are also maybe the scientific conferences

But if you want a church to express in other way your believes, check these links found with the keywords: atheist church ;-)
3 churches:
http://factschurch.com/
http://firstchurchofatheism.com/
http://simiantology.com/

some articles:
http://themoderatevoice.com/religion/ideologies/secularists/19214/the-church-of-atheism/
http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/14.11/atheism.html
http://nymag.com/news/features/46214/
http://www.rationalresponders.com/church_of_atheism
http://www.acfnewsource.org/religion/atheist_church.html

[tim840]

Why are you all so bitter towards Christians? :shrug:

[Medicine*Woman]

Why are you all so bitter towards Christians? :shrug:
*************
M*W: I'm sick and tired of hearing the word "bitter" from christians on this forum. Just because we don't believe the crap you do doesn't make us bitter at all. What you conceive to be "bitter" translates in christianity to:

"unproven"
"illogical"
"idiotic"
"fictional"
"allegorical"
"metaphorical"
"fabulous"
"unbelievable"

Do you believe in the tooth fairy and Santa Claus, too?

[PsychoticEpisode]

My advice to all atheists: Act like it's(atheism)normal.

[Medicine*Woman]

My advice to all atheists: Act like it's(atheism)normal.
*************
M*W: Why is it important to "act" like atheism is normal. It's the most "normal" thing to believe in. We were all born atheists. Then our innocence and logical minds were brainwashed in one way or another by those who came before us who were corrupted.

[Orleander]

And what are the High UnHoly Days?

[Medicine*Woman]

And what are the High UnHoly Days?
*************
M*W: Everyday we breathe are holy!

[Orleander]

No, I want a day I can celebrate by sending cards to all my believer relatives.

[John99]

And what are the High UnHoly Days?

You see that is the problem. I appears that this human brain works one way. We are pack animals until we are alone in the pack and then we become solitary creatures, plotting and panning but the reality is that we are solitary creatures born alone, die alone.

[Orleander]

... we are solitary creatures born alone, die alone.

Who has EVER been born alone? :bugeye: I'm pretty sure my Mom was there.

And what does that have to do with me wanting a holiday?

[PsychoticEpisode]

*************
M*W: Why is it important to "act" like atheism is normal.

Emphasis on the word ACT. Not meant to be confused with a part in a play. No need to remonstrate. If it's the most natural thing to be then why treat it like it's something that makes atheism special...no need to party or be spiteful. Enjoy the moment, you've figured it out.

[Medicine*Woman]

Emphasis on the word ACT. Not meant to be confused with a part in a play. No need to remonstrate. If it's the most natural thing to be then why treat it like it's something that makes atheism special...no need to party or be spiteful. Enjoy the moment, you've figured it out.
*************
M*W: The atheist can send a card to anyone anyday for any reason. The atheist doesn't have to be limited to certain days of the religious calendar. We are happy all the time, and we revere all the days of the calendar. For example, any Wednesday or Thursday, we are not limited to sending a card to say friends who are not of our non-religious belief. We can send our friends a card anytime we want, and the only significance it has is our good thoughts to our friends. What's the harm in that?

Well wishes do not need a time nor a reason. We do things because we wish good tidings. There is no bitterness in our doings. That's what perplexes me so.

Why can't everybody send well-wishes to others for no reason? Why does there need to be any reason?

If there is a purpose of sending well-wishes to someone, then the thought is fake. It's a forced event. What is the truthfulness in that?

[PsychoticEpisode]

I guess what I'm trying to say is this.....atheism doesn't need to be preached. You've made a logical choice based on the evidence at hand, let it be all you need to do. Do we want the religious to think we're indoctrinated?

When I said act, I was thinking of a quote from an American football player who once said...'when you get to the end zone, act like you've been there before.' He wasn't talking about histrionics.

[Medicine*Woman]

No, I want a day I can celebrate by sending cards to all my believer relatives.
*************
M*W: Then you can send cards any day you choose for any reason. Anyday is a day of worship for atheists. Everyday is a holy day as far as we are concerned. Why should we be so limited? That doesn't make sense. We should always cherish our lives. Everyday we live we are blessed. Everyday we exist we should expound on our being.