a societal observation and a question for females.

Discussion in 'Free Thoughts' started by skaught, May 19, 2008.

  1. skaught The field its covered in blood Valued Senior Member

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    I am a male. I noticed today that when I am out in public and I look at other males, they immediately return the gaze almost 100% of the time. Among males, making direct eye contact is often interpreted as a sign of aggression.

    But when I look at females, they nearly never return the gaze, and if they do it is only a brief glimpse. Rarely do they even look at me long enough for me to smile at them.

    My questions are:

    Do you (as females) notice when men are looking at you?

    If so, do you interpret it as a sign of aggression, attraction, or something else?

    Now I'm not talking about some drooling creep staring you down, I'm talking about an average looking male briefly glancing at you in passing on the street or in some other public place and offering a nice friendly smile.
     
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  3. EmmZ It's an animal thing Registered Senior Member

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    That's funny you asked that because I was talking about this to a friend a while back. Because I'm quite shy I never hold eye contact for longer than a moment, then look down. Especially if he's hawt. In a city people tend to make eye contact less than in rural areas. When I'm in a rural area it's commonplace to nod and smile at everyone.
     
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  5. skaught The field its covered in blood Valued Senior Member

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    See I live in a rural area, and NOBODY ever makes eye contact or smiles. But when I head into Minneapolis, Its really only a little bit better.

    So, is it a fear thing for you? or an intimidation thing? Or what is it? Why don't you hold it for long?
     
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  7. EmmZ It's an animal thing Registered Senior Member

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    I've no idea you know, but I've challenged myself sometimes to see if I can look at someone for longer than three seconds, then into the second second I can't handle it and look down. I'm ok with women, I can look at them. It's ok with old men too. It's just men around my age I feel awkward around. I think I like the anonymity of the city.
     
  8. Varda The Bug Lady Valued Senior Member

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    When I happen to accidentaly make eye contact with a man, I instantly turn away
    When I was younger I was very worried about not giving anyone the impression that I was interested in them, so I wouldn't loose my edge. Now it's subconscious, before I even think, I turned away.
    It's good for me, I'm a married woman

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  9. Carcano Valued Senior Member

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    I like looking at women...all of them.

    But I dont usually hold deliberate eye contact unless theres talking involved as a possibility.
     
  10. skaught The field its covered in blood Valued Senior Member

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    So why is it that you can look at other women and older men but no men your age? I mean, what is going through your mind? This may be hard to answer I understand, but try if you can.
     
  11. skaught The field its covered in blood Valued Senior Member

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    Right, but like I said, I'm not glaring at them, I just want them to look back so I can give a nice friendly smile, but most of them refuse to even acknowledge that I am looking at them. Which brings me to my original question, do y'all even notice that we're looking at you?
     
  12. Carcano Valued Senior Member

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    Must be hard work...all that avoidance.
     
  13. Carcano Valued Senior Member

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    Ok, but whats the point of going out of your way to smile at somebody you'll never speak to?
     
  14. skaught The field its covered in blood Valued Senior Member

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    A random act of kindness. :shrug:
     
  15. EmmZ It's an animal thing Registered Senior Member

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    I keep writing things then deleting them. I'm really unskilled at knowing my own mind sometimes. It's entirely dependent on the situation. Walking down the street and making eye contact is different from being in a pub and doing it. When I've had a few glasses of wine I'm generally more relaxed and I'd probably be less shy. I'm much more comfortable around women and old men. I just feel relaxed. I suppose because I'm not thinking there's a possibility of anything sexual. I don't know though. What are your thoughts about why women don't make eye contact with you?
     
  16. skaught The field its covered in blood Valued Senior Member

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    I really have no clue what my thoughts are. I mean certainly they must notice that I am looking. I feel that they must know because men will know withing 1 second that someone is looking at them, and I refuse to believe that women are less observatory than men.

    I'm not sure if it is just plain rudeness, fear, being unobservant, being attracted to the guy and being shy about it, feeling creeped out by being looked at... I really don't know.

    I kind of interpret it as rudeness most often. I mean, whats wrong with looking at someone and returning a nice smile?

    I also often interpret it as being intimidated by men. But what is so intimidating about us? Especially in a public place!
     
  17. EmmZ It's an animal thing Registered Senior Member

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    You can tell a haughty woman from a shy woman. One will keep her head up and look away or look through you, the other will maybe even smile as she looks down. I tend to do that if a nice young man gives me the eye. Unless there's some atom splitting energy going on. As for people I'm not attracted to, if they smile at me I'll just smile back, but that doesn't happen where I live unless you know them. It's weird but even if I've spoken to people before they might not necessarily let on to me.
     
  18. Varda The Bug Lady Valued Senior Member

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    nah, like I said, before I even think about it, I already did it
     
  19. visceral_instinct Monkey see, monkey denigrate Valued Senior Member

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    I know it's a bit pathetic, but if I see a male or a group of males my age who are obviously looking at me appreciatively I tend to revel in it a bit...walk with a bit of a swagger and exaggerate the way my hips/ass move...I know, I know. Yeah, I'm a slut.

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  20. EmmZ It's an animal thing Registered Senior Member

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    I've tried that. I just end up looking like Liam Gallagher in drag.
     
  21. visceral_instinct Monkey see, monkey denigrate Valued Senior Member

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    Why? are you really ugly or something?
     
  22. EmmZ It's an animal thing Registered Senior Member

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    *nods* The doctors slapped my mother when I was born.
     
  23. Enmos Valued Senior Member

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    Does it work ?
    You know that can be a turn-off right ?

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