Laid at rest?

Discussion in 'Free Thoughts' started by lucifers angel, Apr 3, 2008.

  1. lucifers angel same shit, differant day!! Registered Senior Member

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    I was thinking back to my father in laws death last night, and my mother in law, wanted her husband to be laid out at the house so that everyone can see, i found this really strange and when i asked the funeral directors why people would want this, he simply said to me, so that people can say they're respects to the deceased, fine that i understood, but for the life of me i dont understand why, anyone would want to go and see a dead body, unfortunatly i was there when he passed away and we were having a laugh and a joke, and that is how i wanted to remember him, why doesnt anyone else feal like that? who would want they're last memories of someone they loved be of a dead body in a box? Personally i couldnt do it, and i had to go and stay in a B & B for a couple of days, because we were living with them at the time.

    Has anyone else had a relative laid to rest at home? if so how did it make them feal? The room where he was laid out i couldnt go in for weeks afterwards!
     
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  3. cosmictraveler Be kind to yourself always. Valued Senior Member

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    Most of my family were "viewed" at a funeral home for there wasn't enough room at the house to have all the visitors. It is really up to the family as to what they want to do with the deceased. That is why it is always a good idea to WRITE DOWN IN A WILL what you want done with yourself as well as with your ashes or body whenever the ceramony is over.

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  5. lucifers angel same shit, differant day!! Registered Senior Member

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    did you not find it.....morbid? did it scare you to death? i know when i saw him pass away, i couldnt sleep for weeks and weeks!
     
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  7. cosmictraveler Be kind to yourself always. Valued Senior Member

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    Not really, I just accept death as part of the price we all must pay for life therefore it is invetable that we are going to see deaths but are going to die as well. That's just the way I was brought up I guess. Nothing morbid about dying only if you let it be seen as morbid to you. I remember, as you do, what they did good in life and the good times we had together as well as some of the bad as well.

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  8. Orleander OH JOY!!!! Valued Senior Member

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    Yeah, I don't look at dead people. When my mother in law died the funeral home had her laid out for the viewing and then the funeral. I never looked or went near IT. IT being a dead body. The woman I loved was gone.

    I don't understand the concept either.
     
  9. lucifers angel same shit, differant day!! Registered Senior Member

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    i couldnt do it!! the family were pressuring me to see him, and it made sick!! they said that it will help me get over his death, why when we were having a laugh and just giggling like 2 kids!!
     
  10. Orleander OH JOY!!!! Valued Senior Member

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    Get over it? As if everyone grieves the exact same way. pffft
    I wanted to remember her as the way she was they last time I saw her. Not as a dead body in a box. <shudder>
     
  11. lucifers angel same shit, differant day!! Registered Senior Member

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    i am over it i just wanted to see why people would do this!

    me and my dad in law were best of friends we were always with each other! and i wanted to remember him has a friend not a cadaver in a box!
     
  12. cosmictraveler Be kind to yourself always. Valued Senior Member

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    If you always remember the people that you lost, they will really never be gone, for your memories keep them alive within you as long as you shall live!

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  13. lucifers angel same shit, differant day!! Registered Senior Member

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    may sound like a dumb question, but is that a quote from somthing, because its sweet!
     
  14. cosmictraveler Be kind to yourself always. Valued Senior Member

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    I really don't remember where I read that at but I did read it befor but am now adding a little to the original quote. I guess what I'm saying is that I'm paraphrasing the original quote.
     
    Last edited: Apr 4, 2008
  15. Fraggle Rocker Staff Member

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    My family is the picture next to the word "estrangement" in the dictionary so I never had to deal with anything like that. But I was taken to a lot of funerals when I was a kid back in the 1940s-50s and even 60s when the open casket and the viewing line were standard practice. I got used to it but I still thought it was weird. But I can understand it. Most people are so visually oriented that it helps them adapt to a person's death if they actually see him lying there, obviously and truly dead. This isn't a conscious thing. They need it for closure. One friend insisted on seeing her brother's body even though it was mangled pretty badly in a car wreck, because she knew that otherwise she'd be haunted forever by the irrational feeling that he wasn't really dead, and it was worth the horror of the view to have future peace.

    I'm not like that, I'm more verbally oriented, which is why I can practically live on the internet. But I avoid looking at corpses anyway because to the extent that there is a visual part of me, as others have said, I'd rather remember the way they looked alive.

    I went to a funeral for a Vietnamese friend. It never occurred to me since I'd only known him here, that when he was younger back there he got a lot more sun. His wife had the mortician color him about eight shades darker and it made her happy, but I think I gasped audibly when I went through the obligatory viewing line. I still flash on that experience occasionally, I'm glad he wasn't a closer friend or it would be my personal haunting.

    Even when the people who knew you personally are gone, you will always live on in what you accomplished. Whether you wrote a best-selling book, or improved the bookkeeping procedure in a factory so it contributes more efficiently to the economy, or just gave your time and good humor to your friends so they all contributed more efficiently. You will always be part of this great invention called civilization, which is the aggregate creation of all the billions of people who were once its members.

    If you manage to leave your part of the world a little bit better than you found it, you can die in peace. It sounds like your father-in-law did that, so you can be at peace with him too.
     
  16. spidergoat pubic diorama Valued Senior Member

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    Some people find it hard to accept that they're dead unless they see a body.
     
  17. cosmictraveler Be kind to yourself always. Valued Senior Member

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    Those are usually the bookies that were owed money to or bill collectors!

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  18. darksidZz Valued Senior Member

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    Sorry to say I thought this would be a thread about whether or not I would finally get laid once I died.
     
  19. Asguard Kiss my dark side Valued Senior Member

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    my grandfather died recently and we did go and see the body. I have done it before and i guess i felt it brought closure seeing as i wasnt there with him because i live so far away. His death was made worse by some rather inept nurses who didnt know what a palitive care order actually ment. My brother had to keep telling them to give him morphine for the pain, idiots.
     
  20. Steve100 O͓͍̯̬̯̙͈̟̥̳̩͒̆̿ͬ̑̀̓̿͋ͬ ̙̳ͅ ̫̪̳͔O Valued Senior Member

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    When my mother died, me and my brother were asked if we wanted to see the body, and we both declined.

    To me it seems strange to want your last memory of a loved one to be them laid dead in a coffin.
     
  21. lucifers angel same shit, differant day!! Registered Senior Member

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    yeah and to me, i mean wouldnt you want to remember them has vibrant people?
     
  22. lucifers angel same shit, differant day!! Registered Senior Member

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    did it say "laid at last"? i think not!!

    however (sorry of topic) if you weern't so damn hard on yourself you'll get laid! just lighten up!
     
  23. S.A.M. uniquely dreadful Valued Senior Member

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    For us, after someone in the family dies, we bathe them and wrap them in a shroud ourselves, so we cannot avoid seeing them.

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