"Somewhere over the bell curve..." *to the tune of somewhere over the rainbow* Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! So, lets hear it from the horses mouth. Does geekiness improve or inhibit your chances?Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
I dated a geek once. He was a brilliant computer programmer and excellent in the field of mathematics and physics but he had the social skills of a 5 year old. It didn't last too long. He was a bit embarrassing.
How was he embarrassing? How did his poor social skills relate to how he treated you? And what type of guy are you dating/married to now? Yep, it doesn't matter if you are a geek, tycoon, junkie, salesman, etc. if the girl doesn't 'feel' any chemistry (which is fleeting), you won't get anywhere with her. All my friends are geeks, and they all have girls. Geeks in the adult world have a bit more success than geeks in HS, which is very clickish and political. Some girls are just attracted to geeks. I think it might be because they don't have that 'macho' attitude and will actually pay attention to the girl and treat her well. Those are the girls that tend to keep their man.
It's all about balance...you can be a geek, but please have good social skills Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Very dateable geek: Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
He would blurt things out without thinking through what he was going to say or how he would say it, like a little kid would. For example once we were at a dinner party and a large-ish woman went to sit on a chair next to us. He said to her, "careful you don't break the chair when you sit on it, ha ha!" No one laughed but him. I was looking for a rock to climb under. That sort of thing. We all put our foot in our mouths occasionally but he didn't seem to know what was and wasn't appropriate and when. He treated me quite well at first then began to treat me poorly. I think it was due to his general poor self-esteem and insecurity. I strongly suspected that he had suffered abuse and bullying as a child as a result he would overreact to any comment which he deemed as being critical of him. My husband isn't exactly a geek. What do we mean by geek anyway? He is very intelligent, has a masters degree. He is the senior medical lab technologist of a genetic screening lab-basically runs the place. He is a perfectionist at work but a bit of a slob at home. Likes to be doted on. He's loyal and honest-not the screw around type. I should know-he rarely leaves the house except to go to work.Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
I can well imagine myself in the following comic's ep3 Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Btw, it's from http://xkcd.com ,my fav webcomic.
I feel a sense of security with myself knowing that I'm, in fact, a geek and yet at the same time i participate in athletics.
For a brief period in college I was single. About half the time I'd look for girls I would avoid talking about my work (which is extremely nerdy). The other half I would rant and rave about it with exactly the enthusiasm I would to my male friends. My work, by the way, at the time was centred around Godel's Incompleteness Theorem, Richard's Paradox and how to express the two in FOL and SOL. So not one goddamn bird I talked to had, of course, any idea whatsoever as to what I was really saying. Though I'm good at explaining it in laymen terms (I've taught it to laymen, so I have experience), it still is quite a reach as a bar-room-nice-to-meet-you conversation. In the end, I would say my success rate with chicks was about the same whether I talked about it or not. Many said they thought it was nerdy but that they were attracted to how passionate I was about my work. Others got bored. On my flight to Hong Kong alone I sat next to a girl and essentially chatted about all my nerdy sides; foundational math, writing a textbook on logic, love of Russian 20th century classical music, love of Russian lit, fascination with KGB/CIA wars... Within a few hours we were fooling around on the plane. And she was the exact fuckin' opposite of a nerd. Of course, it may not hurt that I'm 6'2, 180 lbs. and a lifelong hockey player. So I don't exactly look like your typical math-geek.
I once had a pair of spock ears professionally attached to my head, and I have been with some amazing women. Being weird or geeky isn't necessarily an impediment.
In my experiences, it totally depends on who you're around. An individual who's nerdiness compels them to be an introvert, or limited to a small group of friends (most likely - a bunch of other dudes) is obviously inhibited by it. Other than that, as long as you're around other people, and occasionally ask women out, then you get dates. BTW - I'm limiting my statement to dudes because geeky women have absolutely no problems lining up dates. The only complaint I ever hear on their end is whether or not they've found someone worthy
Poor guy. I once was interested in a 'geek' who would not give me the time of day. He couldn't believe i was interested in him, I thought he was very sweet. I find thier innocence so precious. He was constantly putting himself down in front of me, evidently from all the negative internalized projections he received from others. I couldn't reach him. Sometimes, these types of people have a heart of gold. It's quite sad actually. That's why I don't like the labels people put on others. A person is worth who they really are on the inside, the outside is just extras that are nice to have.
That's because there will always be a guy that is just as desperate or horny as the girl is nerdy/geeky/ugly/skanky. Could it be because they (and the rest of the women) put too much emphasis on chemistry and not near enough on the logical, compatibility aspects? Peta, (at least initially) women do not care about anything else other than chemistry (which is fleeting). You seem like the type of girl that looks past all that and that's very admirable. But it doesn't matter that the guy good be excellent for the girl in every single other aspect (handsome, funny, polite, gainfully employed, smart, responsible) but if she doesn't feel that spark Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!, the guy is history. And the topic is hard to discuss in any detail because the true definition of geek/nerd/dork is so broad, that this could potentially be a perpetual discussion. Example, I consider myself a straight up nerd. My job is laptop support & network administration and I play on the internet quite a bit. Yet, I ride mountain bikes, I wakeboard, I build the ramps and stunts I ride my Mtn. bike on and do my own house and yard work (I live by myself). I think, once you get past the political HS and somewhat college atmosphere, unless you look and act like the comic book guy from the Simpsons, 'nerd/geek/dork' becomes a generalized label. My best friend Greg is a super nerd. He works for Dell and pretty much plays WoW all the damn time. Yet he has one of the prettiest g/f's I've ever met. I guess it doesn't hurt that he looks like Johnny Depp with short hair either.
It depends on the person and what they are looking for. As far as physical chemistry, that's part of the package but not the most important to me. But to be initially attracted, that would be the first to get your attention but if more important differences emerge then the relationship cannot work such as contradictory values or direction in life. The attraction will not last and it can even turn to dislike. In the end, if I really love who that person is, I will want to stay with them regardless of superficialities. There is someone for everybody.
