Genious and innovative professional assasinations

Discussion in 'Free Thoughts' started by Rusty, Sep 1, 2007.

  1. Rusty Rusty Registered Senior Member

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    Guys im writin a novel so i need some good innovative assanition ideas go ahead and splurge ur ideas ......
     
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  3. Baron Max Registered Senior Member

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    Hmm, writing a novel usually requires that one use proper grammar ....which you seem to lack in giant quantities.

    Baron Max
     
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  5. spuriousmonkey Banned Banned

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    They probably think that the editor will take care of that. :shh:
     
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  7. Varda The Bug Lady Valued Senior Member

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    write one about a woman who was building some kind of musical instrument entirely out of bones, and her obsession led her to assassinating people for their bones
     
  8. Kadark Banned Banned

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    Wouldn't it be more efficient to dig up graves?
     
  9. Gondolin Hell hath no fury like squid Registered Senior Member

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    Efficient doesn't equal coolness.
     
  10. Oniw17 ascetic, sage, diogenes, bum? Valued Senior Member

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    I haven't heard of any assassination by atomic seperation. That seems pretty cool, if you can figure out how to make the device used for it realistic.
     
  11. Varda The Bug Lady Valued Senior Member

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    no, the bones must have belonged to very beautiful and interesting people to have an actual value

    so that if this becomes a movie you can have some chances to put some titty scenes
     
  12. Varda The Bug Lady Valued Senior Member

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    how about deep fried people?
     
  13. spuriousmonkey Banned Banned

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    A serial killer is on the prowl. He used to be a teacher. He got more and more upset about the lousy academic performance of his students.

    This culminated in an incident where he forced a text book on American History down the throat of a simpleton.

    He was fired.

    A small inheritance enabled to concentrate on his obsession: to rid the world of simpletons.

    He spends most of his time searching internet forums for posts which rape the English language and make a mockery of the concept of grammar.

    He finds out the real identity of the forum member, and kills the victim by slowly choking them on literature, generously applied to the oral cavity.

    The police is perplexed because they cannot figure out how the murderer picks his victims. They call him the 'professional', which is ironic since it is a hobby.

    He lives happily ever after.
     
  14. spuriousmonkey Banned Banned

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    Brilliant! I want to read that book! Especially if she does the killing or subsequent cutting up of the body naked.
     
  15. spuriousmonkey Banned Banned

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    In fact, I started on this marvelous book.


    The Bone Collector, by Varda

    Chapter 1


    He followed her because he could not resist. She had approached him in the park, made petty talk, simultaneously eyeing him up, almost as if she was taking his measurements.

    He could not resist her eyes. Eyes that sparkled with mischievous intent.

    It was his lunchbreak. A sandwich in the park had turned into an encounter with a woman he could not say no too. He said nothing at her question if he would like to come to her appartment. His legs had turned to putty. His heart was pounding a way out of his chest.

    She had merely grabbed his hand and pulled him along. Where she touched his wrist fire ignited.

    He had followed.

    Her appartment was nearby. She pointed him to a large bathroom covered in tiles and very empty, and told him to take his clothes off and wait.

    Mechanically he did.

    She came in the bathroom. Naked. Divine. Small perfectly formed breasts. Erect nipples. The soft hairy triangle of promise, giving way to muscular slender.

    His erection grew.

    She came closer. A flash of metal disturbed his dreams. A spike of pain flashed from his abdomen. Red blood splashed on the tiled floor.

    His eyes formed a question when they met hers.

    'Much easier to clean up when you are naked' she said.

    That was not the question he had asked.

    Life flooded out of him.
     
    Last edited: Sep 2, 2007
  16. redarmy11 Registered Senior Member

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    Putty. Not 'puddy'. Stupid Dutchman. Too few breasts. I'll resist the temptation to repeat my earlier assertion that 'promises stink'. It would be inappropriate and in... bad taste.
     
  17. Lord Hillyer Banned Banned

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    Mother Theresa and Ghandi return to life, marry, and go on a rampage.
     
  18. spuriousmonkey Banned Banned

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    I noticed that every time I give a woman more than two breasts people ask if I am a freak.
     
  19. S.A.M. uniquely dreadful Valued Senior Member

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    Might be a graphic novel.

    Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!

     
  20. Varda The Bug Lady Valued Senior Member

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    spurious, that is awesome

    Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!


    we should work on the scenery for an office, with skulls of all sizes and shapes on the shelves by the wall, and a large table with all sorts of shaping and polishing tools, where she is sitting, carefully shaping phalanges into tunning pegs
     
  21. spuriousmonkey Banned Banned

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    :yay: :xctd:

    She is doing that naked right!?!
     
  22. redarmy11 Registered Senior Member

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    She could be polishing tools with her breasts! If I'm reading that right.
     
  23. spuriousmonkey Banned Banned

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    This is such a good idea that there cannot be another way to polish bones from now on.
     

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