PLEASE SHARE: The Bad Things Your Parents Said To You When They Were Mad

I found this thread to be funny somewhere else.

One day, in preschool, I was showing this caucasian girl and boy my package. My father caught me, picked me up by the back of my collar and whispered in my ear: "How many times do I have to tell you to keep your dick in your pants you little pervert!".

Those were the good days.

 

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"Nic I really wish you were Jason. That'd be a lot better"

 

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How many times did he have to tell you?

 

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Only as many times as he caught me.

 

You know that you will catch a disease and die if you keep playing doctor with all those little girls!

 

Reported

just kidding lol

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To much to tell, I am weak

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"I wish you were never born."

My reply: I wish I wasn't born to you either!! haha

 

My parents never tried that one on me.

I think they realized that my answer would inevitably have been: "So??"

 

"We have something to tell you, you were adopted...... No just kidding!"

 

I purposelly forget bad things

 

Your parents told me thay hate you.

 

I know they love me. silly evil guy.

 

If I told you what my parents told me, you'd all need years of therapy :/.

Hahaha

 

They never said bad things to me when they were mad, but when I was 10my mum told me that I was adopted (for a 'joke')! Really fucked me up for a few days.

About the same age, my mum and aunt used to tease me about the size of my dick, because it was always a tiny thing when I was younger, one day I just got mad, pulled my trousers down and showed it to them

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(it wasn't particularly large at 10 either, but I didn't give a fuck)

 

that sounds like something i would have done (and did do to a teacher in high school...completely unrelated story)

 

Oh you don't have to do that I/someone else will do that for you. You don't need to drive to there with your bike dad/? is going to drive you... 1 billion or so times. No offence but that fuckes people lifes over... Today I've met a 21 year girl that yust bought a house and she's been out sins she was 19 I didn't even had my driving license by then

 

My father use to tell us that if we weren't good he was going to kill us and bury us in the back yard with the rest of our brothers and sisters. We use to be a rather large family at one time. Then there was the time when a friend came to the door and asked if I could come out to play and my dad told them that I couldn't today because I had leprosy. My friend asked if tomorrow would be better. My dad was a hoot!

 

would it be a bad time to tell you my girl friend is pregnant? that screws with em for a while