Jokes About Americans

Since America is allegedly so hated and laughed at by our fellow members of the "Global Village," let's hear your very funniest jokes about America and Americans.

I know there aren't many comedians outside the U.S., but give it your best shot, let's see your sense of humor.

This is your big chance Saty!!!

 

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Let me start.

What do you call an educated articulate man in America?
A tourist.

What do you call an ill-informed inarticulate man in America?
The President

 

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Here's one for Saty, just to get his juices flowing.

A Pole was in a dispute with his Texan neighbor, the Pole had shot a goose, but it fell on the Texan's land, so the Texan told the Pole that it was his.

But the Pole insisted that it was his, afterall, he shot it, so the Texan said "ok, we'll have a contest to see who keeps the bird, we'll have a nut kicking contest, whoever's left standing keeps the bird."

So the Pole, having confidence in the strength of his nuts, and wanting to get the last kick in, says "you first." So the Texan kicks him in the nuts, the Pole eventually straightens up and gasps "ok Texas Boy, my turn," so the Texan says "ah, you can keep the bird."

 

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Sam, I told you there aren't many comedians outside the U.S., but keep trying.

 

There is no need for jokes about americans with you around IAC. You are the biggest joke there is.

 

Here's an American joke for you...

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We do often have a good sense of humor, but, as you apparently haven't noticed, the thread is about jokes about Americans, not that "Americans are jokes," do you see the distinction? Maybe not.

 

Whoa man thats serious! 432 pyramids were built by the ancients by measuring precession using a chopstick.

 

You're getting warm.

 

[ENC]Humour[/ENC] you say?

 

Send me a copy of your book plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

 

Sure, just send your snail mail address, I'll include a complimentary copy of my new documentary as well.

 

Not fluently, of course.

 

We communicate by spy planes and winks.

 

I thought you communicated through Reality TV and Oprah

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That too, and code images through Springer fights, and Oprah's famous anti-East hand codes, and the images hidden in the crowds at football games that only Americans can see. (Shit eating grin.)

 

You do have your saving graces.

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`
Do Americans over-react when you bug 'em ?

You tell me...

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too bad we didn't have a [ENC]shitload[/ENC] of them to finish the job.