Yesterday afternoon I went to book myself into hospital for the birth of my second child, who is due in March next year. A simple and straight forward enough procedure, where the prospective parents meets with a midwife, fill out some forms, visits the wards, etc, and that's about it. The mother to be is then booked into the hospital for the period when her child is due. I went through it with my first born and expected everything to be the same this time. However it was not. The difference was the list of "things to bring to hospital". Upon giving a cursory glance at the list of recommended and essential items a woman is to pack in her hospital bag for the birth of her child, I noticed it also included a breastfeeding shawl ("or something similar"). This had not been an item that had previously been required at this hospital before. Now to explain, a breastfeeding shawl is basically just that. A giant piece of material that a woman places in front of herself to shield her body from view as she is breastfeeding. Many women use such items when breastfeeding in public for example. But for the life of me, I couldn't imagine why this was now a required item to bring for a stay in the maternity ward. So I asked the midwife... "Why would I need a shawl to breastfeed while staying in the maternity ward?"... Her reply was basically to state that due to the number of complaints from visitors to the maternity ward, the hospital now requested that women shield themselves while breastfeeding, so as to ensure that visitors to the ward do not feel any discomfort. I was shocked to be honest. I cancelled my booking at the hospital in question and decided to go to a public hospital as a private patient instead, because I don't feel that I should be made to have to cover my child with a giant cloth so that a passerby in the hospital is not made to feel uncomfortable with the thought that I am breastfeeding my child. Of late, there have been many complaints in restaurants and other public venues about women breastfeeding their children, because god forbid a person sees the horror of a baby doing what comes naturally and feeding from its mother. After the Janet Jackson debacle of a flashed nipple, we've all come to see how horrific how an image, such as a nipple, might be to the general publicPlease Register or Log in to view the hidden image!. My angst is that such a line of thought is now intruding into maternity wards, whre many women are trying to learn to breastfeed for the first time, and should not be discriminated against because some prudes visiting their loved ones in the maternity ward cannot stand to see a breast or a child attached to it. When one visits a maternity ward of a hospital, one should expect that some women might be breastfeeding. Why should these women have to put themselves out to shield visitors to the hospital? Why should these women who are staying in this hospital be forced to feel shame at something that is not only natural, but also proven to be the best for their child? After all, if a person does not approve of women breastfeeding their child in front of others who might be walking by their room (for example), should they really be visiting a maternity ward at all? And what are they doing looking into other people's rooms in the first place? Why should the mothers in the ward be the ones to accomodate the visitors, when it is they (the mothers) who should be the primary concern and the ones to be made to feel the most comfortable? So my question is this... Are we becoming a society of prudes? Where will it end?
Yep. Don't know. I'll speculate that some day we might have technology to inform people when they are about to enter an area that they don't want to be exposed to... it would then be up to the individual to walk away (rather than forcing the 'shawl').
Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! yeah, but let's hope for indoor plumbing first...one can dream though
Personally, I am not bothered by women breastfeeding in public. In fact, it's kinda hot. But I suppose it depends on the woman who's doing it. I don't know what all the fuss is about, personally. Maybe it has something to do with Internet porn, making female human anatomy something to be ashamed of. I don't know. But to have to wear a shawl at a maternity ward is preposterous. You're absolutely right about that. You said the reason women are encouraged to or have to wear those things is because it's offensive to some people, right? That's the problem. Our society caters WAY too much to complainers.
Sounds similar to the burka thing people are talking about, how it's forced, with no reasoning. Definitely Hopefully before I die.
I'm sorry. Next time I'll try make it easier for you by supplying pictures. ------------------------------------------------- I think it's more an issue of society having sexualised the female anatomy, principally the breasts . Its become a sort of taboo. The reaction to breastfeeding from some is as though they assume the has somehow become a sexual object because it is feeding from the breast. Kind of sick if you ask me. I have to agree. If you find the prospect of a woman breastfeeding her child offensive, the answer is simply, don't look at her as she's doing it. And if someone doesn't want to be offended by a woman breastfeeding her child in a maternity ward, don't look into people's rooms as you stroll by or better yet, stay home.
I see absolutely nothing wrong with breastfeeding, even in public. From what I hear it's healthier than formula, and the child develops a better emotional foundation, and I feel personally that your child's well-being is by far more important than a mere opinion of what is "proper conduct". Just curious, what society are we talking about? By that, I mean what country are you in? Because if it's America, I agree, this nation's very prudish, and it has been on account of the fact that it is, by majority, a very religious country compared to many other devloped countries.
I live in Australia. We've had people complaining about women breastfeeding in public places here before, but I'd never heard of a hospital listening to complaints in regards to a maternity ward. It seems we are becoming so "moral" that we are forgetting about what is actually right. It's a shame as having something such as a breastfeeding shawl on a list of required items for women coming into this hospital to have a child can put them off breastfeeding. And you're right. Breastmilk is the best for a child. Even baby formula boxes here advise parents that breastmilk will always be the best for their child.
I did notice a big difference regarding the attitude towards breastfeeding in the USA and in Finland. In Finland the wife whips out the breast wherever to feed the baby, although in shopping malls there is usually a cosy room for instance to take care of the baby and breastfeed it. Nobody will frown upon you breastfeeding the baby in the train or something. When the baby is hungry it is hungry. There might be some embarrassed people around, but they actually realize that the fault lies with them and not with the scene of a woman breastfeeding a baby and hence they will not complain. They will simply avert their eyes. Naturally breastfeeding women are as discrete as possible. They will not take all their clothes off and sit with their legs wide open to breast feed. If you are shocked by a mother breastfeeding a baby, another finnish mother in the USA had no qualms about whipping out her breast for her 2-year old. Our son was born in an american hospital and in the ward the nurse noticed his blood sugar was low. Instead of taking him to the mother to be fed, they gave him formula. The problem with americans is that they are prudes of course. And they do not realize that their behaviour is unnatural (generally speaking). I've never lived in Australia.
It's hard to say, IMHO. On one hand, I don't personally have anything against a woman breast feeding in public, although I could see why some people would. Exposing a breast in public is still against Anglo-Saxon culture. The key here is, it is makes a large number of people uncomfortable, should it be done? Some people say that breast-feeding is natural, as if that's the be all and end all. So is urinating. Yet even if I really need to go, I can't urinate in public (even on the side walk). At the very best, I'd probably be guilty of indecent exposure.
Do you get upset though if you see someone urinating in public? I just think that it must have been urgent. Some people do not like taking showers in public places. Or a mixed sauna. That is a learned behaviour. When I was still in the USA visitors were often surprised to see the oldest child running around the house in their underpants when playing, or naked if he had to go to the shower. And after the shower he came down naked to give a good night kiss to whoever wanted one. The boy has no qualms about walking around the house naked. That is because we have no qualms about it. We do the same thing, except not in front of visitors because we know that they will be embarrassed. But I will not teach my children to be embarrassed about being naked. My parents tought me to be embarrassed and it took me quite some time to get over it. And what is the point about being embarrassed about being naked in front of others. We all die. We are all the same. There are definitely cultural differences though. In finland the sauna culture makes being naked more acceptable. In the summer it is also normal to go to the sauna at the lake side and go swimming naked. People respect other people's privacy and will not be intrusive. And what is better than to go to the sauna at the lake side, naked, jump in the cold water, naked, and swim, naked, and then go back into the sauna, naked. The new french researchers here were suprised when they went to an annual retreat and noticed all co-workers went to the sauna together, although divided by sex. It was quite a shock for them. It was strange for me the first time too, but after 5 minutes it is normal. It is all learned behaviour. Being naked, breastfeeding is all normal. Fuck the cultural evolution.
And yet the same culture has not qualms about a woman exposing her breast on a beach for example. When a woman breastfeeds she's not exposing herself. It's not as if she's plopping both her boobs out with her top off. What most do is to move the child in place, and then discreetly move her clothing aside (or some wear special clothing for nursing) and place the baby there. Experienced women do it without any skin ever showing. Feeding a child in a way that is totally natural and best for the child should not be a crime or something frowned upon. What is it about breastfeeding that is so offensive? The women should certainly not be advised that people might get offended when she's still in the maternity ward and in many instances, learning to breastfeed. It can be a traumatic experience for some women and it takes practice and yes some women might be exposed while trying to get their child to attach to their breast, hence why they tend to do it with the door closed. If someone wishes to peer into their rooms and then feel somewhat offended that they saw a breast, then they should not be looking in. I feel uncomfortable and disgusted when I see someone in a car at the lights with their fingers jammed up their nostrils and then going into their mouths. Yet I'm not about to go and knock on the person's window and demand they cease and desist because it makes me uncomfortable. I simply look away. Others may feel uncomfortable when they see someone in a wheelchair for example. So in light of that, should anyone in a wheelchair be denied access to public areas lest they cause discomfort to others who might glance upon them? There is no reason why breastfeeding should make someone uncomfortable, just as no one should feel uncomfortable when confronted with a disabled person in a wheelchair. Breastfeeding is natural. All mammals do it. Hell in the wild, animals wouldn't survive without it. Most babies in countries where an alternative is not available would not survive without it. It is the best for a child as it provides exactly what the child needs and when they might need it. A woman when breastfeeding her child does not sit there with her top off with both breasts hanging out. It's usually done very discreetly and in many instances, most would not be able to tell that she was breastfeeding. Many women also prefer to go to a parents room to feed their children as it provides a quieter environment without the glares from the members of the public who might disapprove or comment. And comment many of them do.
I think the general idea here is breastfeeding is by it's very nature maternal, and so those involved directly won't find any fault with its going on. However just think of it as if you were another woman, maybe one that couldn't have children, then would you want to see another lady breastfeeding? Also while breastfeeding is a neccasity it also is very private, a moment shared between mother an child. This is not something everyone can appreciate or accept, indeed some people dont' even want kids (myself included). So we must understand that in soceity, generally, you are required to think not just of yourself but of others as well. Believe me seeing a hot woman pull her breast out to feed would be kinda cool, but then what if I watch her and she yells or tries getting me in trouble, well that's a ridiculious notion but I can see it happening. Breastfeed in private, you popped the kid out not others around you.
Given that most breasts are covered most of the time, why are you shocked that people would be shocked? I don't mind it myself, but I can't help a little twinge of surprise to see it in public, especially when they become so big. Alot of people don't want to see your saggy cans. This is evidence that more women are breastfeeding, not that we are becoming more prudish. I blame Dr. Spock.
My personal feeling is that I don't want to see anyone flopping their tits out for any reason. Of course, in a hospital maternity ward, I would consider it accepted and even expected behavior, but not in a restaurant, on a bus, or anyplace else that flopping your tits out wasn't considered acceptable. I agree that it's a private activity. Of course, if they're going to insist that sucking on someone else's body in public is acceptable, then blow-jobs in public should be equally acceptable. Having sex is just as natural as breastfeeding, but it's not acceptable in public. Masturbation is a natural solo sexual release, but it's not acceptable in public. Taking a shit is as natural as it comes, but you can't do that in public either. Your dick is not meant to be cooped up in multiple layers of cloth where it can get sweatier and reekier than it would in it's natural environment, i.e., open air, but you can't wave it around like a flag in public, either. If you want to be all natural, go join a commune. Otherwise, show a little consideration for other people's senisitivities. If you insist on flopping them out, expect them to be stared at. It's only natural.
This is all the fault of our clothing-oriented society. Nudism would solve the problem, except in cold countries where frost-bitten bits might fall off...
