Never go shopping with a woman

You should have called her on it. If she wants to be honorable and pay you back, why didn't you let her? That's ridiculous! Is this one of those 19th Century "honor" things where "the gentleman must always pay for the lady because a real lady never carries more money than required to hire a cab for the trip home"? There's a reason that we call that "19th Century," because in those days women didn't have jobs! Today one of these girls could be making more money than you are.

You kids have reinvented all the rules of dating and male-female relationships, but you don't seem to be able to remember them when you need them. If a woman walks up to a cash register and doesn't have enough money to pay for her purchases it is she who is embarrassed, not you. Unless you are her husband you are under absolutely no obligation to cover her debts and every single person in the store knows that. For you to act like you were embarrassed and then run out to the car to get money makes it look like she's your ho and you're her pimp. I can't imagine why either one of you would care to make that impression on a group of strangers. People's credit cards get rejected every day by computer errors, bank errors, errors in the store, and lots of other ways. Nobody thinks anything of it except to be pissed off that it's taking too long. You overreacted if you thought you needed to be embarrassed.

Regardless of all that, what you did was loan her the money because you wanted to help her out of a jam and you trusted her to repay you. When she offers to repay you, you simply say "thank you" and accept it. There is no other way for this to go down. If you loan somebody five bucks for lunch because they forgot to go to the ATM then sure, you tell them to forget about it because you know they'll buy your lunch next time. But you don't do that when the bill is several hundred dollars.

If you had accepted her offer and it turned out that she actually didn't have the money and was expecting you to turn her down, then she's the dishonorable one. You would know that and you would tell all of your friends and her friends and she would become known as a cheater and she'd have to hang out with people like herself.

This way, you'll never really know if she had the money. You may be pretty sure, but you really don't know and it's not fair to make such an evil judgment about someone if you're not sure. And on top of it, you're the one who ended up looking foolish.

You sure don't seem to know much about the basics of life, Moz. Your health, social situations, sex... you're constantly coming here and telling us how you screwed something up pretty bad. Tell your dad (or whoever your male elder is) I said he has done a pretty crappy job of preparing you for adulthood and needs to spend more time with you. I can say that because I'm old enough to be his dad.

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If you encountered two women who did the same thing and they both really went into this intending to cheat you out of your money, you must have a big sign taped to your back that says, "I'm a sucker!" There aren't that many women of that type out there that it would happen by accident. If two of them found you it wasn't bad luck. They saw you coming.

And you know what? If you keep doing this, you are a sucker. Get with the program. This is the 21st century and women are self-supporting because they've spent forty years fighting for it and they like it that way. If you want to be responsible for someone else's expenses, get a dog. At least you'll understand the relationship.

 

LOL!!

Cakes and dresses are not life's essentials.

You're an idiot for falling for it. If she didn't have the cash then, she could have just gone back for the things when she did. Or she shouldn't have gone shopping if she can't afford to at that particular time. And why were you embarrassed? It was she at the register.. no? It was she who didn't have the cash to pay.. hmm?

You were an idiot to leave your wallet in the car (and then some wonder why their cars get broken into) but you were a bigger fool to rush out to the car to get the money to pay for it. However your refusal to let her to pay you back and then start whining about it makes you.. well.. a huge git.

Lets face it, you got played and she's probably at home now stuffing down that cake and trying on her dresses and laughing at you. LOL!

The title of this thread should not be "Never go shopping with a woman".. it should read "Go shopping with Muslim if you want him to pay for your stuff"...

 

Sorry. The only figure you gave us was £250, which is almost $500. But still you're talking about a hundred dollars, which is a hell of a lot of money to be throwing around in such a casual relationship. I don't know what the economy is like in the UK, but most Americans have to work more than one whole day to earn that much money (after taxes). That is really a lot of money!

If you're both unusually well-off so that amount of money is just pocket change to you, like the five dollars for a buddy's lunch would be to me, then fine. But you don't give the impression that either one of you is quite that wealthy. If you are and she isn't, then she's treating you like a pimp and you're treating her like a ho. That only works in movies and rap videos. Get a life!

You give everybody a bad impression of yourself by giving away that much money for no good reason except to impress a bunch of strangers in a store and a woman you don't seem to know very well. It makes you look like you don't manage your personal finances very responsibly, like you have a big ego to camouflage a lack of personality, like you try to buy your way into women's favors, and like you are socially inexperienced and don't know how to handle awkward situations. You may think it looks cool to do something like that but it actually makes you look like a doofus with some extra money to waste.

I don't know what you want people to think of you, who you want to be your friends, and what kind of women you want to date or even fool around with, but you should think about the kind of attention you're attracting--and the kind of people whose attention you are not attracting this way.