Only child syndrome

Do only children grow up with a set of insecurities that children with siblings are less likely to posess?

Is there such a thing as 'only child syndrome'.

I suspect there is and have commented on this in another thread earlier, but upon googling 'only child syndrome' I actually found lots of links suggesting that this is indeed an area of interest with regard to adult differences.

This from web:

"The first born child or an only child get many benefits from the parents. When they are first born they are lavished with attention and often times spoiled, getting whatever they want, not learning much discipline. The way parents teach the first/only child discipline and respect is much how they will react to situations much later in life. If the child stays an only child, in life the child will depend on their parents much of their life.

There is not a separation within the bond between parents and children when no other siblings are born, and thus parents are free to give all their attention and devote all their time towards the one child.


If the child is the first born and has other siblings, they tend to become very jealous at first. In this jealousy it could also cause them to lash out in irrational ways, but just at first. Generally the first born will then take on a silent responsibility of the second siblings. They protect them and have a knowledge of what a parent expects from them. Also they can tend to have more expected out of them from parents. Once a second child is born, the parents sometimes assume that the second child should take after the first, which in any case does not happen. The first born child usually drifts off and becomes more independent right away. They will tend to fend for themselves, taking on more tasks than they can handle and will not ask for help. Pleasing parents and trying to live up to expectations may be sometimes trying for a first born, but in most cases the expectations are set by themselves. They have the desire to succeed in many things in life, not only for other people, but for self fulfillment.

In most cases first born children will go into business as a career. They would be good in careers such as law, or as a cooperate in a business. Not much into dreaming, they like things straight forward and like to get tasks done at hand before jumping into bigger projects. Getting one thing done at a time is their objective. Usually a first born child will marry a last born child. The last borns need to be taken care of and the first borns need to take care of someone. "

Are you an only child, if so would you say you are dependant upon your parents or lacking in social skills that your peers with siblings seem to possess?

 

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I'm an only child, but I've always loathed being dependent on my parents.

0.o Heh heh, my social skills have always been weird--that would remain constant, regardless of any peers

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.

 

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Only child. Not dependent on my parents and though I wasn't particularly spoilt by them, I did feel slightly smothered rather than mothered. I was generally shy and quiet when I was a kid, especially around my parents, but I had many moments of exuberant personality with my few friends. I never bonded with my father and I hate some of his traits that I inherited though I respect some others.

My social skills are generally ok, I'm usually polite and friendly with strangers but more reserved if I feel that a relationship is being cultivated. This is because I need to sus the person out before I can start to open up to them in a buddy kind of way. In my younger days I found it easier to click with some people from the word go, but you live and learn and hence my hesitance in forming new friendships. I must admit that I am aloof most of the time and prefer my solitude, much to the chagrin of my wife who is my total opposite in everything and that wants to be friends with everyone she meets.

 

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I have 2 younger sisters. I'm da Man of the kids.

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Jet Li said recently in an interview that China's one child policy is problably one of the reasons behind China's huge suicide rate among young people.

 

I saw a program on the BBC that looked at the lopsided male-female ratio in China (due to the preference of boys over girls) that has resulted in large numbers of young male chinese men that had extreeme difficulty in finding partners (unless they were well off). The depression in the big cities was especially apparent.

 

I voted yes, but I actually don't have brothers or sisters.

I just have a sister.

 

I’m an only child and I know, for a fact, that when I finally got the silver-spoon dislodged from between the butt-cheeks I eventually was faced with a giant soup of a world and no spoon to eat it with.

 

I have a brother and two sisters. We're still in the process of figuring out if we should consider ourselves grown ups.

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I'm the eldest of three, 10 year gap between me and m'sister, another two between me and my brother - 12 years seniority in all. Got the best of both worlds out of the deal as far as I can discern. Can't say I can agree with a single thing posited in the material you supply.

As to you're questions - no, and hardly, in that particular order. I found growing up as an only child for much of my childhood simply taught me how to be self reliant - both parents worked, had to entertain m'self. When the kids came along (and if still can't help referring to them both as that

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) I still basically find ways of entertaining myself as well as the kids. Little changed actually, except I found I had others to look out for.

Can't say as either state of affairs had the slightest of negative effect - frankly only highly positive. I still get the best of both worlds out of the deal. Mind, I'm rather good at doing that....

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I’ve got 4 brothers. One is a typical ‘rudeboy’, speaks a lot of slang, hangs out in gangs and keeps getting into trouble, we’re always having to sort his problems out. My elder bro is into clubbing and girls, he doesn’t really appreciate our traditional values. I’m mainly into gardening, bird-watching, stamp-collecting, beheadings and plotting terrorist attacks against the West. The thing is none of us really get on with eachother, we don’t really talk anymore. My other 2 brothers are alot younger.

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I recall learning in sociology that practically everyone in "Who's who" is a first born. First borns identify with adults, more than other children. They also are raised by parents who are still full of energy and ideals. Who still remember all that crap they said they'd do/never do when they had kids.

You can always spot parents with their first born kid. They go around like they're always ready to go camping. Extra diapers, extra bottles, change of clothes, child rearing book, portable crib, you name it. By the third or fourth kid, they just have the kids, no paraphenalia. The first born gets all his bottles and utensils boiled. The third born eats off the floor.

First borns are achievers, their parents invested heavily in them and expect a return on their investment. Most of this would apply to only children too, except for their tendency to be spoiled and not as well socialized as children from larger families.

 

madan:

Why do people keep parroting this nonsense? Where is the scientific evidence to support this tripe?

No doubt some would say 'common sense' (as they have in other threads).

I don't see the common sense behind the claim. Why would an only child be any less sociable than a child from a large family?

Don't kids spend the majority of time at kindergarten and school? Isn't this where most social interaction occurs?

I've seen siblings who hardly ever talk to each other. They avoid each other at school, they go home to do homework, and then hang out in different social circles. They probably only 'socialize' at dinner, and while they watch the television (if any socialization occurs at all!).

 

Exactly, its not lke they are isolated from other kids.

 

No none can deny the effect siblings have on personal development as to do is to deny there is such a thing as 'nurture' (ref nature v nurture debate etc).

All interatcions effect development.

Google 'only child syndrome' and you will find many good as well as negative aspects of this 'syndrome'.

 

:bugeye: Not... particularly... true...

I don't know many other only children, but for me personally being "the only" meant getting my fair share of responsibility and negative attention as well. It's not like I had anyone to blame something on, I was the only other person in the house!

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The only problem is if the child is spoiled. If the child is not spoiled, rather the child is an only child or not is pretty much irrelevant. Well, it's also important to allow the child to meet other children once in a while, specially if the child is an introvert...