Can one hand clap? I don't think so!

This is designed as a companion thread to the 'dumb question tree making a sound etc' thread.

What's the sound of one hand clapping? It's another of those paradoxical questions that actually makes no sense, because, as everybody knows, it takes 2 hands to clap.

 

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I can produce a sound akin to that of clapping using one hand. I just slap my four fingers on my palm.

 

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The question is whats called a 'koan' from the Japanese Zen Buddhist tradition, used to test students spiritual attainment. This particular one was dreamed up by the great master Hakuin Ekaku and is actually phrased like this:

In clapping both hands a sound is heard...what is the sound of the one hand?

Do you see the trick? The answer is not necessarily verbal, it could be any kind of physical response.

 

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Heres another koan I like:

The mouse eats cat food, but the cat bowl is broken. What does this mean?

 

the mouse better watch his furry little ass.

 

Can anyone clap with his but-cheeks?

 

Your sister's cheeks make a fapping sound each thrust.

 

I'm not a fatass, so I would have to cheat and use my hands to spread my cheeks and fiercely slap them together.

 

They do?

Go figure.
And she isn’t even born yet.
Maybe you should have said ‘your mothers’.

 

Lacking insight

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Ah well. You did the 'your sister' thing with Muslim, so I thought it was a semi-justified chance to get a cheap shot in.

I tried to clap my buttocks in the shower, but no joy. They do wobble about a bit, so I might shake my booty on the tanzen floor tonight.

 

Slap the Zen Master?

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Can one fart with only half an arsehole?

 

Can someone fart the star Spangled Banner?
I think it would be appropriate given that country’s intellectual qualities.

 

I don't believe this. I search the guinnes book of records (not the beer) on the net if someone actually did fart the star spangled banner and guess what?

Keywords; star spangled banner fart
No results.

keyword; fart
NO RESULT!

I refuse to believe that nobody ever did a record fart. I know I did.

 

Show Off!!!!

I got as far as the second verse and I crapped in my pants.

 

From my book of Really Gross Facts: "The longest recorded fart lasted 2 minutes and 42 seconds". Last week I wouldn't have been able to supply this vital information. Someone brought me it back from holiday (why, I don't know).

Bonus fact(?): "If one person farted continually for 81 months they would produce the same amount of energy as a nuclear bomb".

Bonus bonus fact: "women fart 3 times more during the day than men".

 

Hardly a record. I already crapped after the first note.

 

Fascinating.
He must have held it in for a week.

Strap a hose to my ass and start paying….

First: How do they know?
Second: Yes, but men fart louder.
Third: What about at night?

 

That’s commitment…my friend.

A true artist of flatulence, you are.

By the way, what is the highest note you can hit?

 

It's befitting to my signature that this thread has evolved from clapping to crapping PPRRRRRRAFFFF!