Speaking in a alnguage you do not understand?

When you go to a barber shop, beauty salon, et cetera how do you feel about employees who speak to each other in a language you do not understand?

 

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Go live abroad in a country of which you do not speak the language and see what your own reaction is.

 

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It's wholly natural that speakers of a mother tongue should communicate in that language rather than struggle with a 2nd or 3rd language that they're not so familiar with - ne c'est pas?

 

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Why does it bother you? Do you think it is because they are talking about you?

alnguage?

 

i dont really care if they speak another language

 

It's funny when you meet tourists from your own country in the foreign country you live in. They think nobody can understand what they are saying in their own language.

It's always a nice shock then to start speaking to them.

Good clean hobby

 

If both speak your language fluently, then the polite thing to do is to speak in it, but it's not that big a deal.

 

I had to endure someting worse than this

my ex's family were arabic but as well as arabic they all spoke fluent English, however whenever we all got together (all females were English) they would speak in Arabic unless addressing us. I would endure entire evenings with barely a word addressed to me, and having to nod politely as if I understood the arabic. If I looked disinterested or bored or did my own thing, it was commented on. Yet the fact I could not engage in their 'entertainment' seemed beyond them. I felt it was very rude. Especially when they were in my home.

I did try to learn Arabic, but the Arabic I was learning and the arabic they spoke was very different, so it did not help.

 

ToR, I can sympathise with that. That's an extreme case, and downright rude as you say, but very different from a couple of shopworkers conversing in their mother tongue about things that are of no concern to the customers. And no matter how fluent one may be in another language there's no replacement for the mother tongue, especially in an informal context.

 

That's kind of normal, not rudeness. When a group of people are together of which the majority speaks a certain native language the chances are very high that at one point the conversation switches to that language. It's the language they feel most comfortable in.

I will never speak dutch with another dutchman or dutchwoman in the presence of someone who does not speak dutch, but that's because there are no large group of dutch speaking people I come accross here. Group behaviour is always different from individual behaviour.

 

Whenever I'm with some French people I know, they always speak English at first with each other to accomodate me, but inevitably they start speaking French anyway cos its easier. The more of them they are, the less they will speak English, if at all.

 

Yep. It's the same with Fins.

 

I agree, I have no problem with that either.

Its quite nomral in multi cultural society.

What I don't like is being served in Uk by someone who cant speak the language. I am tolerant but it gets ridiculous at times.

 

Thats all good and dandy, but when they are in my home, I expect them to consider me and speak to me. Ignoring the host is rude.

 

Well the question was about a barber shop, beauty salon etc not my home. I would expect someone in my home to speak in a language I understand too.

 

Not understanding arabic in that situation would drive me crazy.
I would probably work very hard to learn their dialect or whatever, and start dropping my thoughts in at the table - that would really freak them out if they were trying to be sly, and if they were just using the language they had the most facility with, they would love it.

re: in a business
When I go to a sushi restaurant, I don't expect the sushi chefs to speak english because I can't understand their conversation.
If I am somewhere people are conversing in another language, I feel left out a bit, but not angry.
If I am talking with two japanese friends talking, and they suddenly have a whole conversation in japanese, it is rude, but perhaps they are just excited about having a particular person to converse with in their language, and then it becomes a bit rude of me to stomp on their fun.

I think it depends on the reason they are speaking in another language.

 

Since i had years of daily experience in this matter I can give a few tips.

1. when inviting people to your house make sure that the group is mixed properly. Ask too many fins and finnish will pop up. Within the native speakers there is also a heterogenity in the willingness to speak a foreign language. You can stimulate the avoidance of using the native language by inviting people that are inclined to speak another than their native language.

2. There are always individuals that will switch to the native language no matter what. Avoid having these people over like the black plague.

3. if you cannot avoid asking certain people over (like family) just suck it up. Learn the fucking language or just accept it. when bored play mindgames.

4. Apply the involvement technique: Learn at least a bit of the language so you know the main topic of discussion. Brake up the conversation by making a remark in your language of preference regarding the topic. Once people get sidetracked into speaking the native language they need some active persuasion to switch to another language. It will not happen by itself.

5. Apply the intervention technique. When there is a brake in the discussion just start a new topic in the language of choice.

6. Apply the entertainment technique. This technique is not applicable for all. It requires talent. Break up an existing conversation by starting a more interesting conversation in the language of your choice. People are fond of entertainment. There is nothing more attractive than social entertainment.

7. Apply the distraction technique. This technique is well suited for all. Try to distract people from the current discussion by doing something noticable. Like dancing naked on the table.

 

Hehehe...

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I had the same problem when I first went to work in Saudi Arabia.

My position was administrative and all the others (Director, Technical Director, Personnel Manager, etc) were male and either Saudi, Egyptian or Syrian. They all spoke in Arabic and totally disregarded me. Took me six months to learn the language and assert myself.

Otherwise, I have no problems. I'm from India and we have over 800 dialects. Every time I travelled, I'd end up in places where most of the people spoke a language I could not understand, though they spoke to me in Hindi or English.