A typical Paki conversation....

I'm "MAZ" and "Kammi" is my friend...


[12:58:15] Kami: went down luton yesterday to collect some maal
[12:58:18] Kami: couldn't sleep man
[12:58:22] Kami: still tired
[12:58:26] Kami: aur hows tings man
[12:58:30] Kami: u got ne new tunes
[12:58:58] Maz: Not really
[12:59:02] Maz: What maal
[12:59:08] Maz: How come you went down luton for it?
[13:00:30] Kami: my cousins r down there
[13:01:10] Kami: bought some rounds and theres a shortage of draw here in Sheffield so bought 3 kilo
[13:01:22] Kami: chopped it into ounces last nite and most gone now
[13:01:30] Kami: wut u been doin man
[13:03:06] Kami: rozey start next week init maz (ramadan)
[13:03:18] Maz: Yeah
[13:03:27] Maz: So you going to come down to see me?
[13:03:36] Maz: Around my ends on eid
[13:03:45] Kami: ill try man cnt say for def
[13:03:54] Kami: im thinkin about goin pakistan maz
[13:04:01] Maz: If not I'll try and come up to see you
[13:04:08] Maz: when yaar?
[13:04:17] Maz: I'm going next year go next year bro
[13:04:26] Maz: We will hoock up there man
[13:04:30] Maz: In Kallar
[13:04:38] Maz: You know I got heavy contacts
[13:04:44] Maz: Back in PK
[13:04:56] Maz: And bare bitchs man - they will fuck you so hard your bones will rattle
[13:05:07] Maz: You know Heera Mandi and shit
[13:05:10] Kami: serious?
[13:05:14] Maz: Yeah man
[13:05:15] Kami: yeh man
[13:05:17] Maz: I told you
[13:05:26] Maz: I told you I had the shit on lock down last time
[13:05:39] Maz: So you seen that paki woman then?
[13:05:46] Maz: The one with the mango hubby?
[13:05:50] Kami: no man
[13:05:54] Maz: how come bro?
[13:05:56] Kami: seen her in tesco
[13:06:03] Kami: but i not doen owt agen
[13:06:11] Maz: Has she let her mango screw her?
[13:06:16] Kami: jus sed hi
[13:06:18] Maz: or is she still stuck up about it
[13:06:21] Kami: i didnt ask her man
[13:06:25] Maz: lol
[13:06:30] Kami: but she looks stuck up as ever
[13:06:40] Maz: You work abit slow man, I would have had her panties off
[13:06:56] Kami: lol
[13:07:05] Kami: shes always up4 a dicking man
[13:07:17] Kami: i think i had enuff of her man
[13:07:24] Kami: it was gtin 2 risky so u no
[13:07:31] Kami: dnt wna gt bestya done
[13:07:34] Kami: bestayy
[13:08:33] Kami: i was sayin if u link up in pakistan
[13:08:42] Maz: Yah
[13:08:47] Kami: go down karachi n shit them posh sides rich bitches wantin
[13:08:50] Kami: englandey dik
[13:08:57] Kami: farmy lan lol
[13:09:27] Maz: Yeah, but I don't know fuck all in Karachi
[13:09:31] Maz: How old is she?
[13:09:37] Kami: bout 19
[13:09:43] Kami: neither do i
[13:09:45] Maz: I know lahore and Islamabad I have em on lock down
[13:09:50] Kami: well take ym cousins man
[13:10:00] Kami: they have a commando with them all tym
[13:10:14] Kami: and i got links in police
[13:11:08] Kami: shell meet u n fuck you - this lass I know she likes you
[13:12:16] Kami: no her msn dnt work she not on she told me to give it to you
[13:12:23] Kami: aur bro
[13:12:31] Maz: Yeah man, is she nice? just give her my number
[13:12:42] Maz: I've just been stressed out man
[13:12:54] Maz: The worlds fucked up man
[13:12:59] Kami: whats up bro
[13:13:03] Maz: Do you ever think about things?
[13:13:23] Maz: Like other then sex, and maal, and shraab?
[13:13:40] Maz: You know what I'm saying bro?
[13:13:46] Kami: yeh man
[13:13:59] Kami: i try to keep away frm sex
[13:14:02] Kami: its hard man
[13:14:08] Kami: when ur dik gts hard thts it
[13:14:12] Kami: hard to control
[13:14:18] Kami: world fucked up i know man
[13:14:20] Maz: No bro am not on about that
[13:14:24] Kami: namaaz
[13:14:34] Maz: No, like just god init?
[13:14:39] Maz: Like do you think about Allah
[13:14:41] Kami: yeh ofcourse mna
[13:14:47] Kami: i read namaaz man
[13:14:50] Kami: 5 times a day
[13:14:55] Maz: Yeah I know
[13:14:57] Maz: that
[13:14:58] Kami: most times late coz of work n shit
[13:15:01] Kami: still man
[13:15:04] Kami: no1 perfect
[13:15:09] Maz: But we do drinking and shit
[13:15:12] Kami: n it says in quran over n over again
[13:15:23] Kami: allah the most merciful most forgiving
[13:15:29] Maz: Yeah I know the Qu'ran pretty scary
[13:15:39] Kami: every1 as bad as each other man
[13:15:50] Kami: the quran is a guide line for your life man
[13:16:14] Maz: What if
[13:16:25] Maz: I don't know bro
[13:16:35] Maz: I think lifes about living right
[13:16:46] Maz: No ones seen god
[13:17:06] Kami: islams about blind faith man
[13:17:10] Kami: look at bible
[13:17:13] Kami: they kepe changig it
[13:17:18] Kami: the quran is still pure
[13:17:22] Kami: after soo long man
[13:17:35] Maz: Yeah but its no man some ppl say it isen#t
[13:17:46] Maz: So ppl say why did Mohammed marry Aisha
[13:17:51] Maz: when she ws 9
[13:18:02] Maz: Like why did he have sex with a 9 year old
[13:18:08] Kami: the thigns writtten in the quran in liek over 1500 years peo9ple well gorey have just worked out now liek science n shit
[13:18:19] Kami: listen the people who say tht dnt no wht they on about
[13:18:30] Kami: the propert sallahualeyhe wasallam
[13:18:37] Kami: married her
[13:18:41] Kami: because
[13:18:43] Kami: in islam
[13:18:53] Kami: whena gril/guy reaches puberty
[13:18:59] Kami: they are ready
[13:19:19] Kami: in them olden days it was sooo hot man people get readye arly if u know what i mean
[13:19:35] Kami: even today in bare places like 13yr olds gt married get me
[13:19:48] Maz: Yeah
[13:19:54] Kami: understand man
[13:20:00] Maz: But they aslo say MOhammed killed
[13:20:06] Maz: This Jewish man
[13:20:12] Maz: had had taken his wife
[13:20:14] Maz: Saffiya
[13:20:20] Kami: who says?
[13:20:22] Maz: I mean fucking jews man
[13:20:31] Maz: Its in the hadith bro
[13:20:45] Kami: people talk too much shit maz when they dnt know shit
[13:20:48] Kami: i dont know about tht
[13:20:56] Kami: r u a waaabeee?
[13:21:05] Maz: No
[13:21:09] Kami: good
[13:21:14] Kami: i dnt like waaabees man
[13:21:15] Maz: What makes you reckon that man
[13:21:36] Kami: jus sayin tht u kina seem liek u was doubting the prophet saw peace be upon him
[13:21:55] Maz: No I wasen;t doubting man
[13:22:01] Maz: you know me am a Muslim
[13:22:16] Kami: i knwo the answert to the 9yr old aisha question bcoz i asked sum1 myself
[13:22:19] Maz: But my point was why do they say these things
[13:22:36] Kami: people make bullshit up
[13:22:40] Kami: look like them shia
[13:22:40] Maz: Plus bro, we have been having sex bfroe marriage right
[13:22:47] Kami: what they believe is not muslim man
[13:22:50] Kami: look
[13:22:52] Kami: listen maz
[13:22:56] Kami: we are human
[13:22:59] Kami: humans make mistakes
[13:23:06] Kami: thats y allah has given up a brain
[13:23:07] Kami: to think
[13:23:18] Maz: I'm talking about we have been having sex with woman knowing its wrong
[13:23:18] Kami: feel bad repent and pray for forgiveness man
[13:23:22] Maz: that makes us leave Islam
[13:23:35] Maz: Acording to fataw
[13:23:40] Kami: it doesnt man
[13:23:45] Kami: soo many diffrent fatwas
[13:23:53] Kami: yo i dnt no too much bout this stuff man
[13:23:56] Maz: So anyway fuck all this man
[13:23:56] Kami: just basic
[13:24:10] Maz: Lets get back to the normal shit
[13:24:18] Kami: bitches cars drugs lol
[13:24:22] Maz: Yeah
[13:24:36] Maz: but I don't think we should call woman bitchs bro
[13:24:43] Kami: i know
[13:24:51] Kami: im jus syain ti for like rappin shit lol
[13:24:53] Kami: listen
[13:24:53] Maz: We should respet them
[13:24:55] Kami: yo
[13:25:01] Kami: u fucked ne hoes lately
[13:25:10] Maz: No
[13:25:11] Maz: Am dry
[13:25:43] Kami: wut u bene doin jus wankin n dat
[13:25:51] Maz: lol
[13:25:55] Kami: yo man u got guns I heard Sajji had a gun and shot it in a club?
[13:26:03] Kami: every guys wanks u no dat man
[13:26:09] Maz: yyeah I know, fuck yeah I was there he shot the gun outside a club, he was wanting to shoot some fuckin guy man he is mental
[13:26:18] Maz: Yeah guns I know
[13:26:40] Maz: Yeah Boxer also had a gun
[13:26:46] Maz: Not amir khan am on about Imran
[13:26:55] Kami: ?
[13:26:56] Maz: Imran
[13:27:00] Maz: From my ends
[13:27:06] Maz: You aint seen him
[13:27:12] Maz: I don't think
[13:27:17] Maz: He had a gun
[13:27:45] Maz: He had some beef with "toppers" lot you know Zafar from around Dew/
[13:27:58] Kami: how much for a kilo of weed ur endz?
[13:28:01] Maz: So, he got a gun and shit - yeah wee I don't know bro weed and pussy is always free for me you know what.
[13:28:06] Kami: toppers sposed to b a big fish init?
[13:28:11] Maz: yeah
[13:28:19] Maz: Thay are Gujjars
[13:28:20] Kami: we never dealt with him before
[13:28:26] Kami: i herd he got all the maal on locks
[13:28:29] Kami: how odls he man
[13:29:12] Kami: do u know him?
[13:29:26] Maz: yeah
[13:29:37] Maz: Yeah he is about 30
[13:29:47] Maz: Lol, he is mental though
[13:30:16] Maz: Get this bro, back in his day yeah, if he saw a Indian with a hot wife, he would take her
[13:30:21] Maz: just take her
[13:30:24] Kami: iz he safe? whats his rep like in ur endz wht do mans say bout him?
[13:30:28] Kami: what do u mean?
[13:30:40] Maz: He would send some guys around to the persons house
[13:30:45] Kami: o
[13:30:46] Maz: and kid nap his wife at gun point
[13:30:53] Maz: And he would shag her for a night
[13:30:56] Maz: He hated Indians
[13:31:00] Maz: Proper man
[13:31:01] Kami: lol i do
[13:31:08] Kami: still fuck loads of indian gals tho
[13:31:12] Kami: listen
[13:31:18] Kami: toppers hasnt met his match yet
[13:31:21] Maz: He used to give us free shit ages back, my bro know him we were about 16 then
[13:31:34] Kami: is he ok guy tho
[13:31:38] Kami: thts good man
[13:31:46] Maz: He is ok with some
[13:31:52] Maz: Well his a frined of my borhters
[13:31:59] Maz: Us lot being Jatt Cheemas
[13:32:11] Maz: Bro, you know no on wants to fuck with Cheemas
[13:32:16] Maz: Around Dew
[13:32:22] Maz: So they all stick with us
[13:32:25] Kami: u got it locked?
[13:32:27] Kami: good man
[13:32:30] Kami: stick togehtor
[13:32:37] Maz: Yeah, we Cheemas have it on lock down
[13:32:47] Maz: Got heavy contacts
[13:32:55] Kami: good man, I've heard about you Cheemas not givng a fuck
[13:32:55] Maz: In Bardford
[13:33:04] Kami: me2
[13:33:06] Maz: But the thing is we don't get beef around here
[13:33:08] Kami: i knwo bare mans
[13:33:12] Kami: from dealin n shit
[13:33:12] Maz: Everyone knows everyone
[13:33:18] Kami: sik contacts for beef
[13:33:21] Kami: i know thats good man
[13:33:47] Maz: The thing is if you do have some beef with someone, he will properly know someoen you know
[13:33:56] Maz: But if you're non Paki
[13:34:01] Maz: then you pretty much fuckered
[13:34:16] Maz: About a week ago, we where in Greemhead
[13:34:20] Maz: Greenhead park
[13:34:22] Kami: i try to not do beef with apne man
[13:34:28] Kami: y kill our own brothers
[13:34:30] Maz: And some Pakis had beef with Iraqis
[13:34:49] Maz: Stabed an Iraqi in his fucking eye
[13:34:56] Kami: sick
[13:35:00] Kami: paksi kill it man
[13:35:08] Maz: Its was mental though
[13:35:18] Kami: like bradford riots man
[13:35:19] Maz: Other Iraqis came out and shit
[13:35:25] Maz: They smamshed the hell out of them
[13:35:37] Kami: we got a call from enx man cn t say his name hes a big dealer
[13:35:40] Maz: They put this, one Palastnian through a shop windwo
[13:35:43] Kami: told us beef in manni
[13:35:47] Maz: through a takeaway windo
[13:35:50] Maz: windwo*
[13:35:59] Kami: we got down there with 12cars frm all over sheffield
[13:36:27] Kami: all areas man, yeah I heard about the guy some Cheemas put through a window
[13:36:34] Kami: thts wht u need to do stik togehtor man
[13:36:42] Kami: coz b hoenst evryr1 hatin paksi n jelous so
[13:36:48] Kami: they happy if we fuck eahc other up
[13:38:02] Maz: yeah
[13:38:20] Kami: yo
[13:38:29] Kami: i gt horny by arabi girls man
[13:39:05] Maz: they look like men
[13:39:11] Kami: lol u sed th last tym
[13:39:13] Kami: not all man
[13:39:23] Maz: most do man
[13:39:32] Maz: I like Desi girls
[13:39:35] Maz: and white
[13:39:42] Kami: i do aswell but i like fair skin
[13:39:52] Maz: Sikh girls are hot
[13:40:03] Maz: But sometimes, you get the non shaving one
[13:40:03] Kami: i know sikh jatt pudda
[13:40:08] Kami: lol i know
[13:40:11] Kami: quite often
[13:40:20] Kami: hair fanny stinnks
[13:40:22] Kami: dnt matter tho
[13:40:29] Kami: coz i never licked fanny ever
[13:40:36] Maz: Yeah I know I hate the small
[13:40:45] Maz: Smells like fish init
[13:40:53] Maz: lol, yeah it does smells like tuna
[13:41:00] Maz: you never licked it?
[13:41:00] Maz you never licked it?
[13:41:54] Kami: i gt a gal on locks who i like Maz
[13:41:58] Kami: but i dno man
[13:42:14] Kami: she asked do u wanna marry me
[13:42:16] Kami: shes muslim
[13:42:24] Kami: half english half morocco
[13:42:30] Kami: known her for 2 yrs
[13:42:33] Kami: never fucked her
[13:43:33] Kami: thign is bro
[13:43:37] Kami: if i sed yeh
[13:43:43] Kami: n nex bithch i see
[13:43:45] Kami: whos fine
[13:43:47] Kami: then what
[13:44:02] Kami: shes rich but fuk her money im makin my own bred
[13:44:10] Maz: Yeah
[13:44:17] Kami: dno wut to say man
[13:45:06] Maz: marry her
[13:45:09] Maz: if you love her
[13:45:14] Maz: are you going to beat her up?
[13:45:27] Kami: no
[13:45:31] Kami: i dnt hit girls like tht
[13:45:39] Maz: some men do
[13:45:42] Kami: i dno whts the love tho man
[13:45:53] Maz: yeah am in the same postion man
[13:46:01] Maz: so am bad ad giving advice
[13:46:05] Maz: I need a drink man
[13:46:14] Maz: Shall I get pissed
[13:46:22] Maz: what drink shall I get?
[13:46:32] Maz: Am thiresty man
[13:46:55] Kami: water
[13:47:09] Kami: listen is this rong
[13:47:14] Kami: i always do this but listen
[13:47:42] Kami: u ever fucked a girl who didnt wna be fucked?
[13:47:48] Maz: no
[13:47:58] Maz: I don't kniow
[13:47:59] Maz: know
[13:48:01] Kami: lol
[13:48:10] Kami: if u fuck a paki girl
[13:48:17] Kami: shes nt gna go n tell nex mand di me is she lol
[13:49:06] Maz: what?
[13:49:12] Kami: if u fuck a paki girl
[13:49:21] Maz: yeah
[13:49:24] Maz: ...
[13:49:25] Kami: who says no sexshes not gna go nt ell her parents is she
[13:49:36] Maz: right#
[13:49:45] Maz: but thats like rape dickhead you raped her?
[13:49:49] Maz: why did you do that?
[13:49:50] Kami: ne clubas ur ends?
[13:49:54] Kami: no i mean
[13:50:04] Kami: like she wants dik but then says u no no sex till ama married
[13:50:25] Maz: Right
[13:50:32] Maz: Maybe am losing my touch man
[13:50:37] Kami: u are man
[13:50:42] Maz: We need to hook up man
[13:50:46] Kami: too logn away frm it
[13:50:49] Maz: I need to fuck a Paki girl#
[13:50:54] Maz: yeah
[13:51:00] Maz: I need a shag
[13:51:06] Kami: Maz pass me sum numbers for sum girls
[13:51:24] Maz: I don't really have any bro
[13:51:31] Kami: who u got fucking?
[13:51:37] Maz: all the girls that call me are like not your type
[13:51:43] Kami: lolz, you just want to fuck em yourself
[13:51:43] Maz: its like fucked up man
[13:51:47] Kami: lolz, you have loads of girls after you come on man give me one
[13:51:51] Maz: they call me
[13:51:53] Kami: where get your number from
[13:51:58] Maz: I don't know
[13:52:18] Maz: I think some girls in college are spreading number
[13:52:22] Kami: lolz
[13:52:27] Kami: haha
[13:52:30] Kami: killin it man
[13:52:33] Kami: boning it
[13:52:40] Kami: so u gtin married nex yr
[13:52:50] Maz: I had one girl she was calling me and shit
[13:52:55] Maz: and she sent me her pic
[13:53:00] Kami: fuck them
[13:53:00] Maz: On the phone
[13:53:03] Kami: send me her pik
[13:53:04] Maz: and she was alright
[13:53:11] Maz: I have on my phone
[13:53:12] Kami: shag her
[13:53:15] Maz: no credits bro
[13:53:19] Kami: or u turnin gandu?
[13:53:22] Kami: bang them man, you remeber you were banging a girl in shaggers lane and we all came down and you had your dick out teling is to fuck off lol
[13:53:59] Maz: am not turning gay man
[13:54:03] Maz: lol yeah I remeber that man, you basterds fucked it for me she thought I planed it.
[13:54:05] Kami: im tryin to fuck this paki girl
[13:54:09] Maz: I went to see her yeah
[13:54:11] Kami: shes works ina clothes shop
[13:54:16] Kami: bithc is proepr fit
[13:54:18] Maz: she wanted sex and that
[13:54:23] Kami: ncie arse always wears tight clothes
[13:56:58] Maz: that Samaras hot I know I seen her, I fucked her I know you you're talking about.


end.

 

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Correction, that is not a typical conversation, it is two brain-dead idiots failing miserably at using their faculties.

 

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Do you actually expect people to take the time to read that whole fuckin' thing????

If so, I worry about your ideas of Internet forums!

Baron Max

 

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Do us a favor and stop boring us with your personal non-life Maz.

 

At last, we agree.

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About Maz?

I still find him funny (and very cute), only his life is boring.

 

Muslim, I need to know the following: as it was said to someone I know with reference to his gfriend

The dude is talking to cabby about his gfriend and cabbie, says 'you better lock that bitch down'

what does that mean?

 

My lifes not boring. You lot are always on this forum. I want to eat your heart.

 

Its means control her.

 

Basically, "if you're on a period, you gotta use your mouth bitch"

 

Hmm, maybe you just present it that way?
Sex, maal and sharaab?

My heart or ToR's?

 

assuming one does anyway.............elaborate please

 

You want to hear him describe the ideal blowjob, or...?

 

noooooooooooo,

I want the nitty gritty on that expression 'lock that bitch down'

 

just use your imagination

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as long as it doesn't involves chains and padlocks im sure your safe

 

Basically, when she is not giving you pussy and is playing games with you such as using sex to manipulate you then you "lock the bitch down" so if she says "I'm on my period" then you say "OK suck my cock then" and if she says "I have a sore throat" then you say "I have a cure for that bitch my cum" or when you cum in her mouth and she tries to spit it out, you quickly hold her nose with you index finger (right hand) and thumb and with you other hand (left hand) you lift her chin up. And it goes straight down. Or if shes pissing you off then you go into her ass with your dick with dry. Thats putting a lock down on the bitch.

 

you can also go to far and be accused of rape

 

so what was he telling the cabby I wonder?

imagine dude has more sex than he can handle (just about) ....how does that fit in the context of the above?

 

There are options such as:
* Can you blame some other stupid fuck?
* Can you bullshit your way out of it?
* Can you counterclaim and force a standoff?
* Can you claim diminished responsibility, fake a stroke, or plead for mercy?

If you cant do any of that then you're fucked!