The utterly pointless Chuck Norris thread

I want one...

here goes


Chuck Norris can divide by Zero
Chuck Norris can ejaculate through walls.




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chuck norris can roundhouse-kick this thread to the moon and back.

 

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Chuck Norris can play catcher during anal sex and still look manly.

 

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Chuck Norris can eat 4 bowling balls at once without chewing.
Chuck Norris does not go hunting, because the word "hunting" implies a probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
Some people can sometimes kill two birds with one stone. Chuck Norris once killed eight birds with half a stone. What's that you say? There's no such thing as half a stone? Those birds didn't think so either.

 

Chuck Norris doesn't push-up, he pushes the earth down.

 

Chuck Norris is gay.

 

You've obviously never seen "Walker: Texas Ranger."

 

Chuck Norris once made an episode of Walker: Texas Ranger that could never be seen without turning the viewer into stone. But then he watched it anyway, and didn't turn into stone because he's Chuck Norris!

 

chuck norris doesnt need a computor to read this he can read it through his mind

 

That was so dumb, it was actually kinda funny.

 

chuck norris eats beef jerky, and shits gunpowder.
he then uses the gunpowder to make bullets, and kill another cow.
he then makes more beef jerky.

some call this "the circle of life."

 

Chuck Norris eats my shit.

 

yeah right man. He'd like, totally own you in real life.

 

chuck's BEARD would make you eat ITS shit. and chuck would just laugh.

 

Good thing Chuck doesn't exist in 'real life'.

Chuck Norris had electrolysis on his shoulder fur.

 

the boogey man checks his closet for chuck norris

 

If Chuck Norris Dies he doesn't.

 

Chuck Norris is so old that when he went to school, there was no history class.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=64wQMMxvKTc

from the god himself

 

Chuck norris visited the virgin islelands, they are now known as the islands


If chuck norris is late, time better slow the fuck down