How Long Until I Get Laid

Using scientific reasoning, critical thinking, and the myriad of other mentalities at your disposal determine by what age I will get sex. Refer to the Poll options.

- Currently I'm 25

- Ask yourself what statistically is possible

- Ask yourself what regionally is possible; I live in Bolingbrook, Illinois in the USA

- Factor in situations like educational background, life experiences, etc; I've never had a girlfriend, kissed a girl only a few times, I graduated high school barely then proceeded into DeVry but lost confidence in it so left (did alright).

- I have no friends, by that I mean no one I hang out with. I meet people online but they're always very far away.

- I am nice, but still don't get much attention from anyone.

Now what you know of a 25 year old, white guy, 6'3, 200 pounds (average weight) determine when I will become a man (not a virgin).

 

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i lived in Canton, Ill for about a year.

by that fact alone, i would say: move to a different city to get laid.

 

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Do you play Dungeons and Dragons and have acne in your face? If you do, then your chances are very slim...

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why do you want to fuck a girl so badly?

 

What an odd question...

 

If you went to college, I'd give you less than a month. (not community college)

 

You fail to mention how rich you are, whether you drive a flash car and whether you have a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp.

All necessary info before any accurate prediction can be made.

Also, when you pull your pants down, will she laugh and leave?

 

I'm not rich, I make 10.70 an hour working for FedEx. I have a nice slim face, I'm not fat. I look alright! She won't laugh, I'm average I'd say.

 

Oh right. In that case...

Never.

 

After Armageddon but before the Judgement of Nations. Unfortunately it will be a sinful relationship and you'll miss out on the Great Repopulation and 1,000 year reign of Christ.

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damn, that sucks.


sinner.

 

I am totally looking forward to Repopulating the Earth with Jesus. It's gonna kick ass.

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And how many times will you have to shag Jesus to get the numbers back up to current levels? Is that also written in the Scriptures?

 

You know I'm feeling a little better about this all, so I won't get laid, ehh.. there's not much I can do, I am pretty much not desirable.

 

Let's see a picture of you.


Naked.

 

jaykay!

 

Everyone is desirable enough, the question is 'to whom?'

 

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this guy.

 

What's wrong with tonight? Just do it.

 

Yes, just shag Mother Fist and her 5 beautiful daughters.