Can you PLEASE

Discussion in 'Free Thoughts' started by Tnerb, Feb 5, 2006.

  1. Tnerb Banned Banned

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    Can you please help me?

    It isn't help like you would first think, maybe. It is a very serious help that I as a person need. Surely, if I could even realize or take the full responsibility to that I am a person. I am asking for help because my main thread is slowing down, and I was hoping I could get more members to comment in on helping me....

    Here are some of the things the thread will stress from my part:

    First, I am not sure if or not in this first post I should "tell" my problems to you or not... But one thing I will do, is answer any questions you may have, as well as copying some things from the other "main" thread when that is necessary. I am using this site to help me, not as a scoundrel or anything, but I also use it for other purposes, such as seeing all there is to the world.

    If you might start by thinking my problem is stupid, then there is one major point you are right at there. And so, this give me help thing is actually a nice topic by itself

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    It also was very thought crack-a-lacking in the main thread....

    Everything I write is hugely open to be seen as a part of me. Everyone of you knows that as much as I do. Maybe you know that more! Anyway, I have problems apparently letting go of something in my head, but it is also a serious problem in my life. I might go so far as to say that it is a lost intergrity of my soul, and it is in a lot of cases similar to that.

    I'm sure that I have what is in everyone, yeah....

    Any help, or any questions about:

    [I can't have long term relationships
    I can't live with my family like everyone else does
    I can't go to a card tournment because there are people there, and me and people don't mix
    What is it in my head that makes this so
    What do I need to let go of
    What do I need to do
    I surely don't need to do nothing
    I may need advice
    What the hell stops me from being humanly like everybody else?
    Why do I think I am not humanly?
    Why do I think so much to try to solve these things? Think about the "crazest" things
    How can I stop thinking? I have tried that before---trust me
    etc, etc, etc, etc......]

    Are appericated very much. I hope this topic can draw a lot of interesting discussion, and I will myself try to respond to all of you in the best way that I can.

    Get ready for an integreous skeptical penetratz man!
    kidding?
    Brent
     
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  3. TheAlphaWolf Registered Senior Member

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    haven't read your "main" thread but...
    If you're really worried about it you shouldn't be posting this here, you should go to a psychiatrist or something.
    ... which I know you won't like doing... at first. I have friends with your same problems who go to the psychiatrist. They do like it. And I do have them myself. Maybe not as severe... and I don't really care that much since I like being alone and stuff, so I don't go to a psychiatrist.
    You may have social anxiety disorder and could take medications for that or something, but you really need to go to a psychiatrist for that. I don't think posting in forums will really do much... too many people just post stupid stuff, and the rest probably don't know much either.
     
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  5. Fraggle Rocker Staff Member

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    How old are you? If you're < 20, then you're normal. You're just more articulate than normal because you're intelligent and well educated, so you can put your feelings into words. Keep talking to us and to other people about this and you will overcome it. I would suggest that even if you're not comfortable around people you should still spend as much time in their company as you can, because the experience will help you learn to cope.

    If you're 20-30 then you're sensing, probably correctly, that your development into a young adult has not gone smoothly. Everyone has problems at this age but your problem in being uncomfortable with people and unsuccessful in relationships is not a typical one. You should probably seek professional help because it will be difficult to solve this problem by yourself.

    If you're > 30 the question becomes, how long have you had this problem? Is it something fairly recent or have you always had it and just let it get worse? If it's recent it could be due to a medical problem. If it's old then you should get professional help, and the first question to ask yourself is, why did you not get help sooner? If you did and it didn't work, why didn't you try somebody else?

    If you're skeptical about traditional psychotherapy you're not alone. There are plenty of other approaches, particularly Eastern ones like transcendental meditation.

    There's also a fairly new Western method that's proven very successul called Emotional Freedom Technique. It involves developing a combination of a simple physical ritual that uses acupressure meridians with asking yourself questions phrased in a particular way. It may seem like superstition but for thousands of years people have used rituals successfully to give their conscious mind the ability to affect what's going on in their unconscious. There's not really anything stunning or controversial in EFT.

    Its claim to fame is that when it works it works very fast so you don't have to wait five years to find out whether all that time and money you spent at the shrink's office did you any good. EFT practitioners have been able to cure straightforward stuff like claustrophobia and stuttering and allergic reactions to cat hair in one session. They've helped people remember things from their past that they were blocking out in a few sessions, such as being struck by a teacher for speaking their native language so they forgot the language and can't relearn it.

    Your problem may have a fairly definitive cause that you're not aware of.

    Psychotherapy insists that you have to completely understand a problem to fix it.

    EFT says that a problem is like a table. Just find the weakest leg and break it off. Then find the next weakest one and just loosen it. The table will fall over. You don't have to actually break off the second leg and you don't even have to find the other two.

    A silly metaphor but it's an encouraging way to look at problem solving.

    You can find the Emotional Freedom Technique with Google. Unlike shrinks, EFT practitioners are happy to work with you over the phone. They don't need to read your body language to help you.
     
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  7. Em, Brent.... Y'know, it is actually physically possible to think far too many thought than are possibly either useful or for that matter particularly healthy.

    Perhaps if you quit trying to figure every last little detail of your life out before you actually get around to living it - it may possibly form some sort of a start.

    You're over analysing - in practice an activity not actually serving any practical purpose except procrastinate indefinitely the likelihood of actually knuckling down and getting on with your life - the irony of it being, the confrontation of that being instead of simply doing you'll continue to analyse further in context of whatever new idea or alternate possibility anyone happens to venture.

    In short Brent, you're not asking for help. Your asking us to provide you with further reasons why you should dither about looking for solutions to problems your actual lack of positive action is actively generating.

    Self analysis is fine in moderation - but your developing an addiction to it and without external structure given to focus your sources of anxiety towards - goals, definite aims and so forth - you're just going to end up giving yourself more problems than you thought you had in the first place, rather than less.

    You're mildly neurotic. That's all that's wrong with you. Welcome to the human race, which particular bit of it isn't just a little bit self doubting and anxious -This is the source of your problem - not A and B and X, Y and Z and all the endless rest of it - you're just moderately neurotic and are destined to become majorly neurotic unless you're prepared to stop with the endless self psychoanalysis and get structured, regular third party help.

    Not from unqualified fuckwits on the internet but professional, qualified help.

    Take control or go nuts - these are your choices.

    Getting professional help is taking control.
     
  8. Tnerb Banned Banned

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    First things first....

    The main thread has a lot of relation to this one. It is "Mental Health and the Existentialists" in the free thoughts section. It is basically the same one as this one, though this one should be a tad bit more civilized/better for my uses and yours.

    I am 20 years old.
    I am NOT well educated.... this may be another story (dropping out due to---)

    I am going to simply let the "mess" (which is hardley mess anyway) resolve itself while I will hit only the most critical points.

    I believe what Mr Anonymous is saying, about how this thread won't work?---first isn't true. I believe I can make a thread "for myself" while it will stay relevant to myself. Such as, I can take the full responsibility of it unlike in the main thread....

    I would actually say for you to visit the main thread, because in it you will learn a lot more than what you will find here. It should come around to that in this thread, and in not too long of a time........

    Brent

    I liked your ideas of the EFT and I would have liked to respond to more, and unfortunately I will have to wait
     
    Last edited: Feb 5, 2006
  9. Tnerb Banned Banned

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    I realize it is possible to think too many thoughts. I have tried almost everything, obviously to NO avail.

    I do not believe it is a social anxiety disorder, and I also do not believe anyone is as bad off as I am, or if I actually DO have a problem... probably some anxiety but it isn't realized!... I am here replying to the first guy to post. You will find my problem be discussed at a greater length than a typical fear......

    Your right, Mr Anonymous however it is hard to get myself to live and to QUIT thinking before I do that... I don't know what to say here.
    All in all though you're very right about me. I wonder if you knew from the start what the main thread was

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    This seems to be main point numero uno.
    ...How can I do this?

    What should I say?...................

    I should say I should seek professional help. I see your point. Is there anything further you can tell me?

    I have been told a lot and have had people try to figure out what is wrong with me in the main thread, I hope it can continue here with more just reasons.

    I will try to give more information.

    Brent
     
  10. Mosheh Thezion Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    2,650
    IT WOULD seem to me... that you have fobias... which are the result of bad influences as a child. and an enviorment which allowed you to turn such behavior into habitual patterns of thought.

    the founder of the 'self realization fellowship' wrote a book called.. habitual patterns of thought... most excellent... and i think it can help you.

    it wont be easy... and you will have to face your fears.. but in the end the fears will go away.

    put simply.. when you are about to do something such as enter a crowd..

    your brain naturally goes into patterns of thought which it is in the HABIT OF DOING.

    IE... YOU GET NERVOUS OR WHATEVER... OUT OF HABIT.

    what you must do for each situation is.. to recognise your pattern of thought and so behavior... and by recognising it...

    you consciously apply real effort.. to stop your brain from thinking that way..
    and force it to think another...

    i.e.. if you hate snakes... are fearful of them...

    when you are stimulated with the fear... you must stop yourself... and tell yourself.. you are not afraid... its a harmless snake..(make sure you use a harmless one....)
    in this way...

    the nueral patterns which relate to the fear responce will diminish over time.. and new nuerall networks form... relating to your new LACK OF FEAR...

    IN TIME.. the new pattern will form strong nueron connections... and the other old patterns.. will grow weak and diminish...

    it cannot happen over night... it will take years... years of constant effort.

    you have to remember.. your old patterns have had a lifetime to form... and the nueral networks associated with them are strong....
    you must replace them... so that they can grow weak and die.

    i smoked cigrareetes , camels, for 17 years.. and i could never quit...
    until i realised that i liked cigarettes.... ii liked em.. so i smoked them.

    on that day.. i desided i will no longer allow my brain to like them..
    instead i will form new patterns which HATE.. HATE... HATE TOBACCO.

    AND I QUIT COLD TURKEY THAT DAY.. 3 years ago... and i hate them, still.

    do i really hate them? no... but i refuse to allow myself to think that way any more.

    and i have trained myself.. to, at the instant of the thought of tobacco..
    my mind does not go into patterns of likeing it...

    and instead.. out of habit.. i immediately go into hate mode.


    you must go to battle... not with others.. but with your own brain.

    it doesnt behave the way you want it to... you must train it to obey your long term objectives...

    there is more i can say.... if you want me to. on related techics of self improvement.

    -MT
     
  11. Tnerb Banned Banned

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    before I say too much more, I want to make sure that this topic is more on it's task than I think it to be now..

    It is helping me to achieve an understanding of myself which would be mighty helpful let me tell you.

    this is perhaps why this topic is "needed" and also thought crack a lackin maybe

    I only want to be sure about the issues we talk about and them being true, and could also be related to various other things
     
  12. Tnerb Banned Banned

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    First I want to continue to talk with "unqualified fuckwits", because it is here that I think I can change. It is here I think that I can get help and think that because I won't go to a doctor any time too soon, I can do these things here. But all in all Mr Anonymous you have said a great deal of things that are true about me. The point is to get them to gether, to help me to achieve an understanding. This is also for MT, because this is also what the topic is about

    existabrent
     
  13. Tnerb Banned Banned

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    For example

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    If sartre were to write on this thread, he would have an approach which he would believe to be true.

    There are a lot of examples. And apparently no truth

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    existabrent
     
  14. Tnerb Banned Banned

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    MT, it appears this thread is about that a great deal, self improvement, but yet it is in my case and your advice was helpful. I am trying to get it into a thread. It is hard to tell my thoughts about this

    existabrent
     
  15. Well, yes. Sort of did.

    Brent, you're obviously a highly intelligent sort and part and parcel of your problem here is you're not having that intellect challenged outwardly anywhere near enough as you need to.

    Now me, you, everyone else around here could debate about what's bests, what's not, what y'need to do, what you don't - the reason you're handling things in this particular way is because it's stimulating, it's giving your mind something to think over and more than anything - you like to think.

    And face it, you also like to be recognised as a bit of a thinker to.

    Now, intellectually speaking, you know precisely what your problems are, where you're screwing up, even why - but knowing a thing and dealing with aren't the same thing and since you've got a tendency somewhat towards introvertism 98% of how your looking at things is being directed inward. You started simply developing a mechanism for coping with the world around you and now that's become almost as bad, in some ways worse, than the actual circumstances which prompted you to seek refuge from what's going on around you out there.

    Being bright can sometimes be a pain in the arse, and I'm willing to bet you've got an IQ well into the high percentile - but you're not using it, you're just using that intellect to keep you're brain ticking over with something and all there is is the things around you - you.

    You've dropped off the radar as far as life around you is concerned and you're just not in the habit of having to deal with it anymore. In the intervening years between coming of age and now you've elected to withdraw.

    That gets to be a habit, not a necessity. You recognise that, you even understand it - but it comes down to doing, not thinking so much, action.

    And not getting from where you are to where you want to be all at once. A journey is an incremental process, it starts with the first steps.

    Then the next and so on and so forth, in a given direction, away from where you are.

    And that's what it takes. New habits. New steps until your no longer thinking about doing, just doing it.

    Try starting by sticking your neck out the door and just mentioning to your family "Mom, Pop.... I think I could do with a little help here."

     
  16. Mosheh Thezion Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
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    IM gunna let you in on a secret... shush.. dont tell anyone..

    but MOSHEH, is not my name of birth...

    no..

    MOSHEH, is who i strive to be.. not who i am...

    imagine... simply..

    from where you sit.. that there are multiple versions of you alll around you...
    above.. and to the side... BELOW

    now you, are you in the middle..

    above you is 3 stronger forms.. the one on the left is evill.. the one in the middle is nuetral and the one on the right is good...
    and.
    below you..
    the one on the left is evill the one in the middle is nuetral.. and the one on the right is good.

    to the side you have evil and good...

    now... as an person... it is clear... you do not want to be the guy in the middle.. you want to be the guy up and to the right..
    the real cool good guy...
    the guy to your right is good.. better than you in the middle but he is not any cooler.. as in better.. just more good.. less evil..

    below you.. the guy on the right is good.. but he is weak.. and small.
    the guy below and to the left is weak small and evil and vile.


    YOU CAN BE ANY OF THESE PEOPLE...

    this is what i ask you do to.. imagine what that real awesome strong good and cool version of you... would be like?

    what would you be like if you were the best you could be?

    what would you act like? stand? talk?? behave??

    it wouldnt be how you do it normally..

    it is how you want to be...

    then. just as an actor.. you start to play that role.. that character..
    you become that guy...

    even if you dont leave the house... you become him.. you act like him.

    you think like him.. you start projects he would start..
    you would do things his way... the way you wish you were doing it.



    its all a lie.. i know... but it is a lie only to yourself..
    and you tell yourself.. 'yeah... this is the real me... yeah'

    and you do it everyday... everyday...

    and soon... your not acting any more.. your not pretenting anymore..

    your not lieing anymore..

    because you have been doing it so long and often.. it has all become habitual... and normal..

    you have become that other version...

    or more correctly.. you become more like him everyday that you keep applying effort.


    i am a small weak man... as my real self.. and as such... i could do very little..... id waste my life away drinking, smoking pot and watching tv.

    MOSHEH... is my superman version... he is everything i have the potential of being.. and i have worked for years in the effort too be MOSHEH..

    ITS not easy... but it works..

    you can change everything... you have the potential..
    you know who you want to be..
    you know what he is like..

    start being him right now... write it down.. in detail.

    -MT
     
  17. Stryder Keeper of "good" ideas. Valued Senior Member

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    I'd suggest that if your friends get you some of that crazy loco-weed, don't smoke it.

    If you are having a problem thinking then the likelihood is you have either an elevated dopamine level (if on the weed) otherwise it's possibly neuralogical.

    I know there were many studies done on the run up to working out if "Mobile Phones" were safe suggesting that the increase in microwave activity actually caused the human brain to work faster than normal, I'm guessing the same could be said about radiology (moves head back from CRT) however don't make a grab for a tinfoil hat yet.

    Do you find that you are slightly "Insomniac", sleep deprivation can do all manner of things, merged with distropy (under nurishment) and being on the computer (or games console) alnight long can also be the problem.

    Try sleeping earlier, play less computer games (do more external activities like sports or just walking in a park) and eat healthily, don't smoke (pot or cigarettes), let your body and brain "metabolise" to this new conditioned you.

    After a couple of weeks, see how you "think you are", hopefully healthier, more stable and able to take on the world (in a postive manner)
     
  18. Roman Banned Banned

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    11,560
    I'm an introvert, which is definitely uncool. To make up for it, I try not to show any sign of weakness and spend as much time as possible being cynical and shocking people with controversy.

    Whenever I do share my feelings of self doubt (which I like to keep hidden away at all times), it's when I'm very drunk and feeling like a pussy. To make up for being lame and talking about my problems while drinking, I will try to get in a fight or fall off a roof.

    And by all means, don't spend money on a shrink. It's exactly what people who can't cope with themselves do, and the problem is an inability to cope. So by asking for help, you're empowering your problems!
     
  19. So you're solution here is to simply get into a fight or else throw yourself off a roof instead?

    Roman old man, d'you not think you're missing something possibly germane here, at all... ?

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  20. Roman Banned Banned

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    ... Priceless. Thank you for that, made m'day....
     
  22. Tnerb Banned Banned

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    sorry, but I smoke cigarettes
     
  23. Tnerb Banned Banned

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    Also for hologram man, I think myself that the thing about the elevated dopamine level is bull. Maybe that's a problem, but can you please tell me when in the world that will matter if I am not going to see a docter? What relevance has that to do with me, at all, if I will not see a docter? What has relevance to me is my thinking and my well being, and self improvement if that is what truely is necessary...

    Also, what I think (now that I see this thread is pretty cool from my view points) is that I get better all the time. This is just confusing---this point, that I get better. I simply must take it slowly. Mr Anon your very right about just about every single point and every view.

    But a point that I would like made is that there is one thing that I am confused with. There is a part in my "thought" which I can't realy and truely find out. It seems to me to be about my seeing that I must get better---I must--- and how there is something sort of in the way of this, although I am making a hella progress. Perhaps this thing will disappear as I continue to get better and WANT to get better? What is this thing?

    I wonder if you guys know? I was wanting, to write it eariler when my sister was online, but now i'm like, ok, I don't really remember what it is. Ok, maybe if I suck in life is fine is how I think now. But you know? These thoughts I have just don't really go away. There is a sort of confusion. And I don't fully understand all that I do want to know about my self and my problems.

    If it is in everyone, then I would be very happy to find that out. If what I have is in everyone. But it is something in me that is more off than others. As far as goes me being normal here is my "normal" talk........

    existabrent

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