what would you do if...

Discussion in 'Free Thoughts' started by Hapsburg, Jan 10, 2006.

  1. Hapsburg Hellenistic polytheist Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    5,224
    ...you were given the following powers and abilties:

    * Immortality + Wolverine-esque healing and eternal youth.

    * Levitation.

    * Complete Communication with Fish.

    * Eye-Beams.

    * Invisibility.

    * Telekinesis.

    * Super Strength.

    * Super Speed.

    * Shape-shifting.

    OH, BUT WAIT! There's is a catch:
    You Can Choose But Three. Two is fine, but four is not, and five is right out.

    Upon choosing the three abilities, what would you do?
    Discuss...
     
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  3. * Shape-shifting.

    I actually already possess the ability to shape shift - it's called "moving" and works fabulously well, especially when I'm wearing my skin tight lycra Superhero suit. Y'can see all the shifting going on as it happens. Marvellous stuff!

    * Eye-Beams.

    If I had this particular ability I'd stare at things like you wouldn't believe....


    * Complete Communication with Fish.

    With this one I'd get to eat a hell of a lot more fish than I currently do - "Fish!" I'd go, pointing towards my open mouth. "Get in here, y'slimy fuckers, NOW!"

    I've been been experimenting with this ability on women for years with partial success. Perhaps if I didn't call then slimy fuckers it'd work more often, who knows?
     
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  5. spidergoat pubic diorama Valued Senior Member

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    Levitation.

    Complete Communication with Fish.

    Eye-Beams.

    Those are all I need to melt out my fortress of solitude in the ice of Antarctica, and live off the fish that I tell to jump into it.
     
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  7. Thor "Pfft, Rebel scum!" Valued Senior Member

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    Mr Anonymous, brilliant yet disturbing in so many ways.

    I'd just go with Immortality and Super Strength thank you. At first I'd fight for just causes without tiring then probably go into the porn industry and sort out the fuckers who keep making preggo porn.
     
  8. Kalypso Think before you click Post Registered Senior Member

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    These three would allow me to accomplish everything I could ever hope to accomplish in my life without much resistance. So I choose them.
     
  9. Thor "Pfft, Rebel scum!" Valued Senior Member

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    I think invisibility would be good if you could turn it on and off again. But if it's permenant, I don't think I could handle it. You'd have to spend most of your life either looking like a freak or alone. And what is life without love?
     
  10. Thank you. And yes. I am.
     
  11. Killjoy Propelling The Farce!! Valued Senior Member

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    `

    * Telekinesis.
    This seems to me to be something which one could attempt to hone into a skill which would allow one to perform both highly dextrous acts and feats of immense strength with the power of one's mind.

    * Shape-shifting.
    Another which strikes me as being capable of being refined to such a degree that one could even transform oneself into an exact duplicate of another individual.

    * Levitation.
    Between the other 2 and this, I'm thinking I should be able to pass myself off as some sort of "new-age messiah", and get a cushy gig for life dispensing half-baked driblets of "wisdom" from a ganj-induced stupor in between celebratory feasts and fertility rites.


    Once I could do everything from pick locks to overturn cars to perform brain surgery with my mind, become any creature or person on Earth, and defy gravity like a champ, I'd set up a crazy church called the Ministry of Joy, bilk the rich out of as much cash as possible with cheap parlor trick-style "miracles", and give whatever i didn't need for my extravagant lifestyle away.

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