Scivillage

[SwedishFish]

500th post in scivillage!

to mark the occasion i'm making a giant batch of scirum cupcakes for everybody.

[invert_nexus]

Well, Sexy Blue, I guess it's up to us to save the villagers. Damn the lethargy of these villagers. I blame scirum. I guess we better get going. It'll probably be a long trip, better pack some supplies. Too bad CosmicTraveler never comes to town with food from the farm anymore. Even JadedFlower has given up her fishing. Why don't we breed a race of ape-men and tiger-ladies to assault the village?

[Kunax]

I had been lying in the bushes for hours waiting for something to eat, finally spuriousmonkey came by with breakfast, it had take him long enough, it was almost noon. Grab his bag i did, but it was empty he had eaten all the cupcakes, how could he be so mean, with a disappoint roar i left.

Nexus was busy planing some grand trip, while sketching drawing of ape-men and tiger-ladies and mumbling about taking over the village, he did not even notice i snug in to his house to look for food, not that there was any since padma left. What was thise(sp?) humans coming to, would I have to hunt for myself.

Returning to the forest I eventually reach SwedishFish house, where i was greeted with the sweet smell of freshly backed cupcakes, SwedishFish her self was sitting in preparing the last part of a nicely set table filled with plenty of cake and tea.
At last a human with a little sense I thought as i walk towards her. She looked a little scared when i came and even more when i pushed her over, but all i wanted was to give her a wet tiger kiss [properly worst then dog licking, i have not tried sticking my head in to the tiger at the zoo yet] before sitting down on the ground with my head on the table waiting for the other guest.

I wonder who would come, looking at the food on the table i wonder if i could get it all by myself if noone came.

[invert_nexus]

(Kunax, wrong village... we're off to save another village Sexy Blue found. And my house is built 30 feet up on the side of a cliff. You must be a good climber. :p And I have the elephant working the elevator right now, better be careful, he might remember you.)

[certified psycho]

From what i have heard Sargentlard has turned this village into a giant streaking party.

[My Sexy Blue Feet]

(Cannibals are good enough. I left it open)
Nexus is panicing about not having any food. Reminds me to tell him about my backpack, it's unique in many ways. One of which being it has whatever i need. (think The luggage from Discworld) So off i drag him, to the village i found. I knew it would take many hours to walk there, so i suggested making camp half way. I'm not sure how to fight cannibals, but Inv seems to have it planned, so i'll leave that one to him. Perhaps the cannibals had left by the time we get there, i didn't see any when i was there, but that was daytime. I don't know if they only come out at night or what. I suggested that it would be best to stick together, for protection, because the cannibals do show a tendancy to attack at night.

[My Sexy Blue Feet]

BTW, when i get back, big party at my place, to celebrate the 500th post!!!!!!

[spuriousmonkey]

I bumped into Invert today. Apparently he is preparing to go on some kind of mission. I pointed out that he should first call a town meeting before going anywhere. I am not sure he was listening.

I suspect he just wants to spend some time alone with the girl with blue feet. If ya catch my drift.

[invert_nexus]

(Spurious, I did try calling a town meeting, but nobody showed. But now that you mention it, how can one resist those feet? Be back later with the exciting details of the journey.)

[My Sexy Blue Feet]

ow, i'm blushing

[certified psycho]

I was going to come to invert's meeting but i got drunk of the scirum cupcakes. I passed out near the bushes...............

[invert_nexus]

Our trip through the forest was uneventful. At last, we reached the beleaguered village. As we quietly approached, a spooky mist began to cloak the landscape. The woods became a surreal place of flat echoes and wavering forms. In the distance, a low chant seemed to emanate from the fog. The hairs on the back of my neck stiffened at the sound. I knew this chant. I had heard it before. We had to hurry.

We stopped on the outskirts of the village and checked our equipment. During the trip we had fashioned weapons from materials at hand. I had a spear with a metal head from Sexy Blue's mysterious backpack and Sexy Blue had a sling with bullets from the pack. We had swaddled ourselves with thick layers of cloth to protect from blowgun darts. We readied our weapons and moved in. I was in the lead with Sexy Blue trailing behind.

Nothing moved in the village, and all was quiet except for the chant that grew ever nearer and the muffled sound of our footfalls on the fog soaked ground. Ahead, the door of which Blue had spoken lay ajar. A flickering orange glare emanated from the recess within. I signaled Blue to wait here and moved to check out the door.

The door was open just enough for one person to enter at a time. I peeked inside and saw a large chamber filled with a familiar scene. A large fire burned at the center surrounded by capering cannibals. They chanted as they danced about the fire. Beyond the fire, I could make out another black obelisk. It was a miniature version of the one in the headlands of the river. It stood about 10 feet tall and was covered in mystic runes which reflected the firelight in an eerie manner.

At the base of the obelisk stood my nemesis, Bones. He once more held an obsidian dagger poised over a sacrificial victim. I could tell from the nature of the chant that we had arrived none too soon. The ceremony was nearing it's completion. Already a vortex had opened beside the altar and the smoke creature hung in the air, writhing in it's madness.

I wave Blue forward, she had some smoke grenades she had made. She threw a couple onto the fire and I pulled a cloth over my mouth and ran into the room.

The grenades blew with a Fwoosh! scattering burning wood and ashes about the room. A moan began to emanate from the smoke creature and it's frenetic writhing become even more chaotic. The cannibals appeared stunned by what had happened and were choking on the smoke. I slipped past them easily.

Before I could reach him, Bones lowered the dagger to the young victims head. He carved a Z in her forehead and continued the chant. The vortex strengthened behind him. The image within became stark and clear. It was a landscape of stars. A strange object floated amongst the stars. Some type of machine. I could make out letters written upon it, SSS Perci---

With a start I mentally lashed out at myself. This was no time to get caught up in observation. I had to act. I lunged forward with my spear and impaled it deep into Bones' belly. Blood fountained out and sprayed the area. He looked at me and I saw recognition in his eyes.

"You've come. I hoped you would, my friend." he said, "All is not as it appears. I mean no harm to anyone, least of all this child here. I have only done what must be done. The fabric of the universe is at stake, and only I have the knowledge which may save it." He gave a little chuckle and grinned at me, "I only wanted to cut a Z in your forehead. Urgh!" Blood welled from his mouth as a spasm of pain wrenched his features. "Take this knife," he said weakly, "and break it once I am through. And don't blame the cannibals, they did no harm, the villagers are through this door. It was all a misunder---"

Suddenly, a loud scream ripped the air and a great wind rushed towards the vortex. The smoke in the air was immediately sucked into the hole and I had to struggle to keep my footing. Bones pressed the dagger into my hands and fell backwards into the vortex. A peaceful smile beautified his agonized features. The fire was extinguished in the force of the gail and the cannibals gibbered in fear. Cannibal X was standing too close to the vortex and was swept into it's hungry maw. I stood stunned and felt myself sliding towards the sucking maw.

"The dagger! The dagger, you fool!" I heard faintly. I smashed the dagger against the stone floor. Flakes of obsidian flew in all directions, badly cutting my hand and causing minor cuts on my face. In the wink of an eye, the vortex snapped shut. The wind was cut off.

I fell to my knees and gasped for air. The air seemed too thin somehow. Once again, white spots danced in my vision as I collapsed into unconsciousness.

[invert_nexus]

I was going to come to invert's meeting but i got drunk of the scirum cupcakes. I passed out near the bushes...............

Didn't I say scirum was to blame? :p:D

[My Sexy Blue Feet]

It was heavy. Real heavy. I only understood half of what was happening. Inv nex was fighting rather close to the vortex, cursing and attacking a man he called "Bones". I fought with some of the desciples, using some martial arts that i don't remember learning. Knocking a few of the desiples out, i tried to help inv best i could. To my surprise, one of the desiples was on our side, helping me by subduing their collegues. They were the one who yelled "The dagger! The dagger, you fool!".

[invert_nexus]

(It's a segue into the SciFleet thread. I don't have it ready yet though.)

[My Sexy Blue Feet]

I managed to clear enough room to get to inv, just as he fell unconscious. Using another smoke bomb for cover, i cut the ties of the victem , and dragged them both along to some cover in a side wing, slingshot in hand. Admidst the confusion, many of the cannibals escaped, a few wounded by my shots. I lost sight of the converted desciple in the panic. In a few minutes, the room was cleared except for bodies. I helped our sacrificial madien up, and tied up the unconscious baddies, searching them for weapons and such like. Found a few bits and pieces, so into the backpack they went.

[My Sexy Blue Feet]

there's going to be a scifleet?

[My Sexy Blue Feet]

To celebrate my 100th post, recovery party at my place after 500th post party. SciRum on me, byo muffins :-D

[invert_nexus]

(There already is a sciFleet. In the SciFi forum. I command the SSS Percipience. Congrats on your big 100, I'll be getting to 1000 soon thanks to the Wes thread that still lives in Free Thoughts. Maybe just one muffin. I don't really drink much. :) )

[jadedflower]

Sci *hic* rum is goood... and fish. Pwetty fishies. *flings one randomly*









(I've been forgetting to read this thread so that's all I'll say)

[invert_nexus]

(Wow, passed 1000 and didn't even realize it. Wonder when it was? Must have been either in Zarkov's thread or the yellowstone thread last night. Ah, well, milestones never meant much to me.)

[My Sexy Blue Feet]

Next thing i know, there's a flash of light, and all the bodies and unconscious bodies are gone. Whoa.

[invert_nexus]

I awake. Sexy Blue is knelt over me tending my wounds. Oh, the pain. I have a splitting headache. I definitely think I've been unconscious too many times over the past few weeks. I should take a vacation or something. We begin our long journey back to sci-village. The remaining villagers wave to us as we leave. We're hailed as heroes. Sure to be good trade from this village in the future.

The nights are chilly and we share the same small tent both to share warmth and because it's the only one she packed. Sexy Blue and I have many interesting conversations on the way home. I try to convince her that ape-men wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing, but she is adamant in her refusal to even attempt such a thing. Maybe if I got her drunk...

She regales me with tales of her people, the blue feets from across the swamp. She tells me how she was outcast because her feet were so sexy that all the men in her tribe were killing each other over who should have the right to shoe those pretty little feet. I say that's sad and I hope she doesn't miss her people too badly. I tell her I'll do whatever I can to make her feel more welcome in our little village. And that I am thankful for her inventions. I lead into another conversation of the merits of ape-men but she rebuffs me quickly and firmly. Yes, I'm definitely going to have to get her drunk.

When we get back to the village, a full-scale celebration is under way. SpuriousMonkey has produced prodigious amounts of SciRum and everybody is raging drunk. Even Paul seems to be having a good time.

We join the festivities, Sexy Blue drinks prodigious amounts of Scirum while I sip politely at some scirum on the rocks; even so, I was becoming quite drunk myself. I rarely drink so have little tolerance for alcohol. After much cavorting and horseplay, the party winds to a close. I lead Sexy Blue out to the pool and we sit on her favorite rock. I once more begin my discussion of the ape-men. And yet, my heart is only half-into convincing her of my plans. I begin to think that it's just the conversation I'm after. And those feet...


(I half entertained the idea of having my unconscious body vanishing with the rest. :p But I settled on the ape-man scenario instead.)

[My Sexy Blue Feet]

Ape-men, of all things.....men. mmm, sciRum..........

Drinking myself to a pleasant past-the-tipsy-range-but-too-stubbon-to-admit-drunken, i sat and talked to nex, until the time where we're the only two not alcohol induced sleep, though not by far. I decided i'd better get to my hammock before passing out on the rocks. After a goodnight kiss (to say thankyou for the lovely trip) i take two steps and fall unconscious onto the grass.

[invert_nexus]

(All right. I can take a hint. I'll give up on the ape-men. Honestly, I don't know what use a scientist is if she can't breed a race of super mutants. Whatever happened to the scientific zeal for learning of strange new things? Watch out, I might come up with a way to do it on my own. :p)

After a long pleasant conversation ended by a brief romantic moment, Sexy Blue got up to leave. She just made it to the grass before she collapsed in a dainty heap. I couldn't very well leave her like that, she'd be soaked to the bone come morning time. I delicately lifter her in my arms and carried her to her home. We only had to stop a couple of times for her to vomit, and of course I lifted her hair out of the way.

When we got to her house, I found that Kunax and Cat (don't forget your little pet, Kunax)was all curled up snug as a bug in Blue's hammock. Remembering a proverb my grandmother used to tell me, "Let sleeping tiger's lie," I took her to her spare hammock which I had serendipitously constructed earlier. I placed her in the hammock and set a container nearby her head for emergency purposes and set off home.

It was a beautiful evening. The full moon lit up the landscape and I was subject to the beautiful panorama which stretched before me. Only on nights such as these was this hidden landscape revealed. It was magical. Truly, there is no better place than sciVillage upon 500th night. (I can't think of a better name for the holiday. Someone help me out. It should come around again at number 1000.) I thanked the fortuitous circumstances which brought me here. I sent out my thoughts to those who were absent on this glorious eve.

I tripped over a stone and fell in the pool. SPLASH!! I pulled myself up, I was soaked, but of clearer mind. I realized I was pretty drunk after all. Better watch my step. I sloshed home and found that Flossie, my elephant, had partaken of the festivities as well. Now that I thought about it, I did see her dancing around the fire with SpuriousMonkey, I was really drunker than I thought to have forgotten such a strange and wonderful sight as that. I gave her a quick scratch behind the ears and headed upstairs the hard way. By the time I made it up the stairs, I was so tired I barely managed to make it to my bed, tripping over tools and books and erotic pottery as I did so. I'd only spent one night in my house so far and it's already a pig sty. If Padma doesn't come back, I'm definitely going to have to come up with some way to keep my house clean. God knows I'm not capable of keeping it clean myself, I'm a mess. I collapse on my bed and sink into a deep sleep filled with dancing elephants, ape-man butlers, and sexy blue feet.

[My Sexy Blue Feet]

(read nick earls?)
Aurghurhguagh...... at the mo, i'm so so craving a breakfast with bacon and bread with butter an inch thick, and a litre of coffee. Unfortunelty, i only found the ingredients in my backpack, and remembering vaguely i'm doing a recovery party. So i dragged myself up, and started the bbq in the village. Before long, i had breakfast going, with everyone dragging themselves into the afternoon sun.

[My Sexy Blue Feet]

it was definetly a lazing aroud day. Breakfast lazed into afternoon tea, then dinner of a sort. I fiddled around with a few mechanical bits and pieces, and started on a robot to clean up after nex, seeming he can't do it himself :-p
Spent the rest of the day lying on my rock, debating sophisticated debates with nex, like why bacon tastes better the morning after shotting sciRum, and the way to make nail polish, until sundown. Discovered i got a tatto last night, which has to be the ultumite sign of a good party. I swear i'm never going to touch alcohol again, or at least not until tomorrow night anyway.

[invert_nexus]

(Nick Earls? Can't say that I have. Did he write about taking care of boozed up women? :p)

I woke with a slight hangover. I smelt the delicate scent of bbq wafting in the breeze. Ahh, now we're talkin'. I throw on some clean duds and tramp down the stairs to wake up Flossie. I figure she could use a walk, so I hop onto her back and start riding. We arrive at Sexy Blue's hut. The other's have already arrived. The luck of living within the village within smelling distance. They must have woke a lot earlier than I. Breakfast was delicious. Just the way I liked it, smothered in grease. I would make it a point to come to dinner more often, Blue's a wonderful cook.

Everyone was pretty quiet. After they finished eating, the pretty much just lazed about feeling awful. I'm glad I didn't drink as much as them. I feel kinda bad, but not awful. In fact, I'm feeling somewhat cheerful. When I started to whistle a merry tune, everyone started chucking leftover's at me. Disgraceful waste of food, if you ask me. I gathered up whatever stuck to me without touching the ground for later and bid them adieu. Spurious asked me to keep it down today. "Hold off on your damn building projects til tomorrow, why dontcha?" I was happy to oblige, as I was of a mind to take the day off anyway.

I got on my elephant and rode away. I took a leisurely trip around the valley looking for any interesting resources that have yet to be exploited. I found nothing of great importance. A stand of Oak trees to the south. Might be useful for furniture building. And a spring to the east that trickled into a little creek for a mile or two before disappearing once more into the ground. The water was quite tasty. Excellent blend of minerals.

On the way back through town, I noticed Blue working on a mechanized man. Well, I suppose that might do. But where's the fun in that? Then I recalled many movies seen as a child of robots running amok. Definitely got possibilities.

I parked Flossie by the pool and let her browse for forage. I took a nap.

Later, Blue came out for her usual sunbathing and we talked about the properties of bacon and nail polish. A vision of tiger-ladies with bright red nail polish briefly flashed through my mind. Alas. It is not to be.

I wondered what everyone else was up to. Apart from the party, the village has been rather quiet recently. Probably don't have as fit a constitution as Blue and are still suffering from their malady. I guess they were partying far longer than us too. I'd guess almost a week if they started partying when we left. No wonder they're hung. Even Paul was quiet today. No clanging away on his bell. That's a relief.

[My Sexy Blue Feet]

I have noticed a lull on convo of late.
Actually, the first page of Nick Earls 48 shades of brown talks about holding a chick's hair. Have a read.

[Kunax]

(i bet some are still here reading, myself yesterday i was sitting in the top of a 12m (35.9 feet) pine tree with saw, playing lumberjack, we made a good hole in the pavement when the first part came down :)

I(the tiger) also seem to be stuck with 2 main "themes", i have to thicker out how to progress, while keeping the last remains of a tiger)

[invert_nexus]

(Kunax, I've been trying to convince Sexy Blue to breed some ape-men. Why don't you convince her to mutate you into some kind of tiger-man? She's dead set against the whole mutation idea so far, but maybe she'd do it for you. :)

Sexy Blue, I'll check it out sometime if I come across it. I just came up with the idea, because it's the kind of thing a gentleman would do for a lady. We all know you hate getting puke in your hair. :D)

[spuriousmonkey]

I had apparently slept all weekend and noticed when I woke up that lots of things had happened. That made me tired.

I didn't know what to do so I went for a haircut and see if I could pay with scirum since I had run out of money.

And maybe see if the barber had heard some gossip.

[Kunax]

(that would be like giving up Nexus, no thank you:))

having forgot where everybody is and since the sun is shining, I desice to sun bath on a rock by the pond, a rock frequently used by Sexy Blue, this is now my rock I think to my self.

[My Sexy Blue Feet]

OI, my rock!!!!!!!!!!

[Dreamwalker]

Since things seem to be pretty normal, I´ll take a walk in the woods.
Don´t stay in the sun too long, sunburns can get nasty. :D

[spuriousmonkey]

I decided to branch out. Scirum is not enough. I came up with some new stuff that I named Scivodka.

I took some to swedishfish but she wasn't home. I left a bottle of Scivodka on her doorstep. I took a peek inside but no cupcakes.

I saw the tiger on my way back behind a tree. I opened my bag and showed it that it didn't contain any cupcakes. It didn't roar. It just turned around and disappeared into the forest. I could swear it was crying, but tigers don't cry.

I can't believe how irresponsible Swedishfish is. It is ok that I don't get any cupcakes or muffins, but to mess with a tiger's mood is dangerous. I remembered that I have an oven myself.

I get some eggs, milk and other stuff from our beloved farmer who seems to have even diversified his productline even more than normal. He even had kaviar! I took some to make tiger cupcakes.

I made a fairly large batch of tigercupcakes (secret receipe, but as you might realize they contain kaviar), and something what I would call scivodka cupcakes. You see, I was too lazy to go to the waterpump to get some water and the only bottle I had standing around was filled with Scivodka. Well, that is not quite true. There was also a bottle with some ancient pee in it, but I decided against using that one.

I tried a tiger cupcake...not bad...a bit fishy.

I moved on to the scivodka cupcake. That is weird. It reminded me of Swedishfish's cupcakes. I had another one.

I shoved all cupcakes in a bag and went to the forest hoping to find the tiger.

And there is was. Gosh, the poor thing. It's face looked so droopy and sad. Come here kitty, daddy got some cupcakes for you!!!

WOW, I couldn't believe how fast a tiger can be if they want to be fast. In no time the tiger had bridged the 10 meters of so between us and was sniffing the cupcakes.

To my surprise it skipped on the tigercupcakes and went straight for the scivodka ones! HEY STOP IT, THOSE ARE MINE!

I started to pull the bag away. The tiger grabbed it in his mouth and started pulling too. The bag tore open and all the cupcakes spilled on the sandy path. We looked each other in the eye for a split second but then we were both on all fours devouring cupcakes with our mouths. There was no time to check whether it was a tiger or a scivodka cupcake. Time was of the essence. In 10 seconds all 50 or so cupcakes were gone.

We both went to the edge of the path to lie down in the grass, the tiger on one side of the road and I on the other. Soon I was asleep in the afternoon sun.

[Kunax]

(lol, glad you did not use the other bottle :), to bad i got to go now:()

[certified psycho]

I was in a happy mode today and decided to give everybodya free haircut. :D

[invert_nexus]

(Spurious, I was wondering when you'd diversify. You know, you passed up a perfectly good opportunity to make sciGin a long time ago when SwedishFish gave you those Juniper branches. I think Gin comes from Juniper anyway...)

[My Sexy Blue Feet]

I got SciContriue happening, as well as SciSambuca and SciBeer. All ozzies know how to make the best beer

[My Sexy Blue Feet]

I believe a "page 28" party is in order, to celebrate the aubundance of alcohol, and to see what we can do about it

[invert_nexus]

(How'd you know it was gonna be page 28? Did you edit afterwards?)

Looks like the natives are throwing another party. What a frivolous society I find myself in. I'll go if Sexy Blue's cooking. Otherwise, I think I'll go off on an expedition with Flossie. If I can't get Blue to make an ape-man, maybe I can find some naturally. One can always hope.

[My Sexy Blue Feet]

of course i'm cooking. Atm though i'm working on a robot to clean your place. Come check it out, give me some advice on how to improve it. You and your ape men. As for the page 28, i'm just that good.
Veal scallopini tonite for all. Also been at the workshop again, i've got organic bubble bath available now.

[My Sexy Blue Feet]

OI, who put the bubble bath in the pond???? DON"T YOU KNOW THE WATERFALL IS GOING TO CAUSE BUBBLES TO FLOOD THE VILLAGE

[Kunax]

Day: The day before tomorrow

spuriousmonkey was laying passed out on the other side of the road. He had one leg up a tree and the other on the ground, doing the night he had attempted to walk straight up the tree, it actually had looked like it would worked until gravity had kicked in and dropped spuriousmonkey flat on his back in the grass.

I left spuriousmonkey for a while and when in to the village. Behind Sexy Blues house the aroma of some thing cooking caught my attention. The only opening was a small window, set high on the house, rearing up i peeked inside, Where Sexy Blues was pouring water in to a bathtub, then she added soap and soon there where bubbles all over, just before I dropped back down, Sexy Blue dropped her outer skin and stepped in to the tub.

On the front side of the house the door was closed. Luckily in an open window was several bottles like the one Sexy Blue had used in her bathroom, i borrowed 1 and went back to the pond to make my own bubble bath.

spuriousmonkey was not where i had left him, so i proceeded down to the pond, I found spuriousmonkey under the waterfall, eager to show my new finding I dropped the bottle in the water, waiting for the bubbles to come, but nothing happened, I even tried to drown the bottle, still nothing, I was getting frustrated. It was not until spuriousmonkey opened the bottle we got our bubbles, and boy did we get bubbles.

edit: was jaded's house not behind the waterfall :)

[spuriousmonkey]

scivillage report
outcast - spuriousmonkey
'ouch'

I woke up lying the grass with my back hurting. I couldn't imagine how my back could have gotten so painful suddenly. The grass I was lying in seemed pretty soft to me.

Anyway, I had gotten quite dirty from lying the grass and also I had gotten slightly overheated from sleeping in the sun.

I decided to have a swim.

To my surprise the tiger arrived at the pond with a bottle in his mouth. It dropped it in the pond. It looked at it and roared. Was it trying to communicate with me? Could there be a nice drink in that bottle? I grabbed it and unscrewed the cap and brought it to my mouth. I took a big gulp...and PFEWWWWWW...spit it out immediately with such a force that it looked like a fine mist. I dropped the bottle in the pond. What a VILE drink!

Immediately bubbles and foam started to form where the waterfall dropped in the lake. Someone must have spilled some soap I thought by myself. How irresponsible!

The tiger seemed pretty pleased by the current events. It jumped in the pool and started splashing around making even more bubbles.

The foam started rising. Soon I was upt to my chin in foam. OH SHIT..SOAP IN MY EYE....SOAP IN MY EYE...SOAP IN MY EYE...

I started running for the shore and tripped several times doing so. I also managed to bump into the tiger and fall again. I finally reached the shore but SOAP WAS STILL IN MY EYE!!!....I ran and ran...hoping that soon the SOAP WOULDN'T BE STILL IN MY EYE!!!

[My Sexy Blue Feet]

Where's that bloom'n elephant??? I NEED A HOSE!!!
Hurry, cause it's rather diffifficult to hold a tackled tiger down.

So after sweeping the suds out of my hut, (and i pity those with a house near the waterfall) and finishing off inv's robot, i deliver it to his house, where he was in the midst of packing for his expedition and cleaning the bubbles up. I think he was moderatly impressed with the robot, especially the inbuilt cappocino macchine and washing machine, but he seemed dissapointed about the lack of ape-men butlers.
I have decided to place the bubble bath under lock and key from now on, before i get not-so-dirty looks from the others.

[spuriousmonkey]

scivillage report
outcast - spuriousmonkey

I had rubbed my eyes until they were as red as a communist flag. I tried to look around me but all I could see were things that looked like trees. Maybe it hadn't been smart to run for an hour or so in an unknown direction. I had the feeling that I was kind of lost.

That sucked because I had lost my bottle of scirum.

I sat down on a treetrunk and poked with a stick in an ants nest. That was rather a silly thing to do. Before I knew it they had marched a legion of stinging ants in my pants. And before I knew it my legs were carrying me another hour or so of running in an unknown direction.

[Kunax]

Sci Village : The Bubble Menace

It wasn't long after spuriousmonkey had dropped the bottle into the water, that the first bubbles appeard, I slapped it back down with much enjoyment forming even more bubbles as my paw hit the water. Soon the where bubbles everywhere, jumping around I tried to get them all, but there where just to many and before long the bubbles even reach above my head.
spuriousmonkey (http://batman.jypoly.fi/~c1213/maria.avi) was having funny to, I bumped in the him several times in my quest to kill the bubble menace, but lost track of him as he disappear behind the wail of bubbles, althou once in a while I could still hear him somewhere shouthing.

But all good things have to come to an end. Standing in the edge of the shrinking bubbles menace I was suddenly tackled to the ground, It was Sexy Blue who had come to join the fun with a little play fighting of her own, i thougth.
But Sexy Blue had other plans up her slews, which came apparent when a shadow blocked the sun, it was Flossie the elephant who had joined in. Towering above us, I Looking up at Flossie, he had a strange smile appone his face, a second later, it struck me “its a payback smile”, then Flossie unleased a river of cold water from his trunk, washing all the bubbles off.

To be continued in : Sci Village : Attack of the Ants

[invert_nexus]

The robot that Sexy Blue delivered took a while to figure out. The least she could have done was written a users manual. I had to fiddle with it for hours before I began to understand it's functions. At one point, I nearly pissed my pants when it started screaming "DEATH, MURDER, KILL!!!" Fortunately, I figured out how to turn off the Death to all humans mode Blue had thoughtfully installed.

Finally, I coerced it into producing a cup of Cappacino and cleaning the house. Ahh, that's better. The infernal clanking and whirring as it moved about was about to drive me batty. I'll have to make a note to set it to operate when I'm not at home from now on. But, I better let it finish tidying up first.

I head out to the balcony to get a breath of fresh air and a bit of quiet. As soon as I step onto the veranda, I hear a great commotion coming from below. Is that Flossie? I look down and see a great swath of bubbles foaming from the pool enveloping the village. Good thing I built my house 30 feet up on the side of a cliff. The decision has never seemed wiser than it does right now.

Blue is leading Flossie about hosing everything that moves. Kunax and SpuriousMonkey frantically try to escape the flow of water, but keep slipping in the bubbles. I think they're half blinded by the soap as well.

Oh, this is good. I pull up a chair and watch the action unfurl below. I desperately try to think of what I can do to make the action even more chaotic. I briefly consider setting Mac (the Robot) to Death to all humans mode and releasing him in the melee, but I decide to wait on that tactic. Besides, if he's noisy now, how noisy will he be after wading through bubble bath. I make a note to ask Blue about some lubricating oil for his joints.

Wait, I know. When we rescued the village from the cannibal menace, they gifted me with a huge bag of balloons. I run inside and fill some up with shaving cream, water, cappacino, anything I can think of. I go back to the balcony and begin lobbing my balloons on the unsuspecting targets.

[My Sexy Blue Feet]

A man, read a manual??? NO WAY!
i figured it'd be a waste of paper.
You're the engineer, i was hoping you'd have some oil.
After a brief attack on us from inv, i use my remote control to turn the robot back to death mode, to keep him busy for a while. Long enough to make a spud launcher anyway, i've got half of one in the workshop. I felt it would be a good way of defending the city against attack. Plus, you can load it with flour bombs as well.
He he he he......

BTW, could i have a proper workshop after you've finished you're last jobs?

After a few well aimed spuds, and the remote, i convinced Mac to through Inv into the pool. It took a while, but i ran out of flour bombs, so i jumped into the pond to wash off the rest of the gunk from me. Somewhere in that mass of bubble, i found inv again, who proceeded to bomb my just-washed hair. There weren't any bombs left around, so i tackled him instead, but he was too slippery, so he ended up pinning me down instead, and he messed up my hair.
:mad: LEAVE THE MOP ALONE. NEVER MESS WITH A WOG"S HAIR!!!! :bugeye:

[invert_nexus]

(Oh boy... Getting scandalous down at the pool. Wet, slippery bubble wrestling. I wish I were really there. I'll have to think a bit about what to do next. Can't get too outrageous in here. ;) )

(By the way, excellent idea. A workshop will soon be in the works. Maybe I could make a kiln for spuriousMonkey, as well. I'm sure the quality of his pottery would improve if fired in a proper kiln. I still don't know what to build for Kunax. A scratching post?)

[My Sexy Blue Feet]

mmm, true, there's probably a M rating here. A stratching totom? a footy ball sized squeaky mouse?

[invert_nexus]

Curses, Sexy Blue must have installed some type of remote override in her creation. He clanks out to the balcony and begins to grapple with me. I struggle to reach the override switch, but before I am able to... Splud!! A potato plunges into the wall several inches to the right of me. Sploof!! An explosion of flower right on my back. Suddenly, Mac lifts me up and tosses me off the balcony. The 30-foot plunge was really quite exhilarating. I couldn't even see for sure if I was headed towards the pool or the rocks because of all the bubbles.

Splash! Whew, the pool. Mac has good aim. Luckily, I had held on to a couple of balloons during my descent. When I saw Sexy Blue emerge into the little pocket inside the bubbles I had created during my fall, I lob one at her. It burst right on her hair in an explosion of chicken soup and giblets. She looked somewhat angry that I had messed up her hair and ran at me, trying to grapple me. Silly girl, doesn't she know I'm a construction worker and her dainty form is no match for me?

After a brief slippery struggle, I find myself on top of her, pinning her down. Blue didn't seem to mind at all despite her complaints of messed-up hair. All sorts of lecherous thoughts began to run through my mind. Where to start? I wondered.

Just then, a stream of water hit me square in the face. It seems that Kunax and Flossie had struck up a momentary partnership in this suds war. I was knocked back, spluttering. Then Kunax leaped out of the bubbles and tackled Blue just as she started to get to her feet.

In the distance, I faintly heard a clanking sound and a metallic voice screeching, "DEATH, MURDER, KILL!!!" Uh oh, Blue forgot to take Mac out of Death Mode. This could get hairy. Hopefully she didn't lose the remote during our wrestling bout.

[My Sexy Blue Feet]

Shit I Dropped The Remote!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[My Sexy Blue Feet]

Kunax, put it down. Drop. Now. Don't make me come there and get my hand bit off. KUNAX!
After retrieving the remote, and neutrilizing the robot (sorry bout that guys, just a joke), i gradually clawed my way out of the pool, using flossy as a support rope. A quick burst of water, and i'm soaped out. Definetly padlocking the bubble bath after this. Or a bubble neutrilizer.
Eeeiiiwwww, wet tigre fur. Kunax was in a playful mood, and one thing i learnt, a tiger does what it wants. Especially when it's escorted by an elephant.

[Kunax]

Taking Sexy Blues remote, I was now running in circle around her as she tried to get it back, several times Sexy Blue had almost caugth me but so far i manage to escape, then just as i was about to escape again, Flossie grapped me by the tail allowing Sexy Blue to get the remote and turn Mac's out of his "Death to human's"(benders ancester?) mode.

Sexy Blue must have thougth the game was over as she made it to the beach, but she was wrong, just as she turned her back to me, I saw my chance for a new "attack", qucikly i snug up behind Sexy Blue and with a small leap pinned her to the ground using my weight.
Sexy Blue hair had a strange smell of chicken suppe, licking her face and hair she even tasted like chicken (human popsicle(sp?)).

Suddenly spuriousmokey came runnig out the forest, still scream about the soap in his eyes.
Licking my popsicle I watch as spuriousmaonkey ran straigth into Flossie and fell back to the ground, Then Flossie grapped spuriousmonkey by the foot, lifted him up and duncked him head first in the pond, clearing the soap out his eyes

[My Sexy Blue Feet]

After da pool episode:
After sweeping the bubbles out, and clearing a few failed experiments away, i start working on my next invention-- hanggliders. Still waiting for more material to arrive though, so it may take a lil while. I may take an expedition up to the next village to stock up, and sell some of my wares. I pack my soap, and some bubble bath, leaving the rest locked up under my bed. Also, some scirum, and journal i found in the village, to give to the owner.
See ya's soon guys!

[invert_nexus]

Screech!! Clank!! Skrawk!!! Clank!!! Bang!! Boom!!! Screech!!

Argh!! This damn robot's drivin' me nuts. I knew it wasn't a good idea to let it wade into the bubble mess. Gotta have some oil around here somewhere. Damn, where did I put it? I got to get out of here. I've been taking several days off since finishing Padma's house, and now seems like an excellent time to start on Sexy Blue's workshop. I would give Flossie a break and let Mac do the heavy work, but he's just too damn loud. So, off to the woods to get materials.

After I get enough materials to start, I go sit by the pool and start drawing plans. I notice that the marvelous fish that once graced the pool are now floating on the surface. Poor critters. Kunax doesn't seem to mind though, as he now has an easy meal.

I come up with several variations that I'm pleased with. I head down to Blue's place to show her my plans and get some feedback. She checks them out and picks out her favorite and recommends a few additions. She tells me that she's planning on taking a trip to the neighboring village. I ask her if she can get some more balloons. I used all mine in the Suds War. There's a few other things that I add to the list as well. Socks, underwear, oil (please, please, please, let them have some!!!), and maybe some fish to restock the pool.

I wish Sexy Blue well on her travels and hope that she returns soon. She programmed the robot to cook, but it doesn't cook as well as she does. and... well... I've grown accustomed to her feet... The view from the balcony won't be the same til she once more graces her rock with her presence. I secretly have painted some amateurish paintings of her sunbathing poolside. But no one knows about them but the robot (and he won't tell, will he?)


Ahh, I just had an idea about how to save the fish. There are several fishes in several ears that still survive. If we can depollute the pool, we can get the fish to breed and start anew. At least the fish can have sex in this thread. :p

[SwedishFish]

"fish can have sex in this thread"

sweeeeeet. do i have to have sex with fellow fish or can anyone join me?

[invert_nexus]

I forgot about you. Depends on how risque you want to get I suppose. We've got two men, one woman, a tiger, an elephant, a robot, and some cannibals frolicking in the woods somewhere. Then, of course, you have the occasionally showing their faces crowd. Take your pick.

But if you pick the fish, I guess we'll come up with Swedish-Babel fish hybrids. What are the properties of a swedishfish?

[SwedishFish]

red, chewy, sweet

[spuriousmonkey]

scivillage report
spurious - outcast
'questions'

I went for tea and cake today to swedishfish. I was quietly sipping on my tea and munching on my cake when she suddenly made the statement:

"fish can have sex in this thread"

The mixture of tea and chewed cake that was in my mouth left my mouth with a great force with most of it landing on Swedishfish and the antique painting behind her on the wall depicting a Fish ancestor.

I quickly made my exit without saying anything leaving my bag with goodies behind.

I didn't even notice the tiger roaring at the side of the road.

[certified psycho]

Day-67
Today I woke up and some how I got super guitar skills. So I decided to become the town's musician also. :D

[SwedishFish]

i tried making conversation with the monkey this afternoon during tea. we don't often chat much during tea so i wasn't sure what topic to choose. i figured bringing up that i am going to mate in this thread would be interesting. he didn't think so. maybe he thought i was inviting him to mate. fish and monkeys can't mate! i tried to call him and explain after cleaning off the painting of my grandfather but he wasn't at home. so i left a message saying "i don't want to have sex with you". i hope that clears things up. i've already extended an invitation to the whore, as i do everynight. but he still can't find my hut in the forest. i fear i may have to mate with one of the other fish ::shudders:: i'd rather not.

[Kunax]

Out of sight i follow SwedishFish into the village, she headed straight for spuriousmonkeys hut, where after knocking several times on the door, she put a note on it and left.
Once SwedishFish had left, I walked over to the hut and took a closer look at the message, actually i ate part of the message, leaving only the "want to have sex with you".

[spuriousmonkey]

I arrived at my hut...

it had a note on the door...

I trembled when I read it....

it said 'want to have sex with you'

There was only one thing to do...


I had a glass of scirum...

and another one...

[invert_nexus]

I had an idea tonight. Maybe scirum would take care of the squeaking in my robot's joints. I sent him down to SpuriousMonkey's house to fetch some. I couldn't figure out how to make him say anything but "DEATH! MURDER! KILL!" So, instead I pinned a note to his chest. It read, "send excessive amount of scirum. Robot's squeaking is making me a maniac" Little did I know that it would begin raining as the robot made it's way to SpuriousMonkey's house, washing out many of the letters of the note, so that when he reached the house it would read SEX MANIAC.

SQUEAK, CLANK, SKRAWK, CLUMP, SKREECH....

[My Sexy Blue Feet]

i go away for a few days, and all the men can think of is reproducing......
....with fish?
This worries me a tad.
And a sex maniac robot? i don't even know where to start with that one....
Red, sweet and chewy sounds suspiciously like a redskin lolly.

Trip is going well. A lack of reproducing fish is noticed. No cannibals have been seen. Will reach village morrow.

[invert_nexus]

(I'm sure Spurious will make a funny bit out of it. :p We need more chaos. Since I've been restraining myself in world-shaking events, I've got to get my kicks somehow. At least I didn't set him to DEATH! MURDER! KILL! mode first. :) )

[My Sexy Blue Feet]

Think of it as a security system that works REALLY well:-D

Trip is good. Arrived at village. Managed to get some materials for myself, as well as SciSambuca. Also swapped them for some furs and live sqid for the pond. The gentleman who's journal i had returned decided to accompany me on the trip back, to see our village. I'll be back tomorrow

[alain]

first day of self awareness was great, i met a very nice lady who returned my lost journal to me. i hope she didn't read much of it, its got my darkest secrets in it, regardless i decided to accompany her back to her village, ill arrive tomorrow

[spuriousmonkey]

I think I had been drinking too much scirum.

A robot was knocking on my door. It had a note on its chest. it said: 'EX MAN'

My god...the poor thing...this brave man had died and someone had put his brain in this horrible machine. He used to be a robot and now he is a man.

I took him to swedishfish for tea and cake. Nobody said anything, unless you count the sqeaking of the robot as small conversation. I looked mostly at the wall. Swedishfish was staring at me as if she wanted to say something urgent, but couldn't find the words to do so. Finally she spoke.

'Your robot needs some oil'

'yes, he does, doesn't he.'

[My Sexy Blue Feet]

Made it back to the village in one piece, no cannabals this time. Took Alain with me, and intro'd him to peoples. I can hear the robot squeakn from here. eieik

[invert_nexus]

My robot has not made it home from SpuriousMonkey's house. I am unsure whether I should be concerned or grateful. Just then, I see Spurious and the robot clumping along like best friends. A possessive streak flares within me. Hey, that's my robot. Then, I see Sexy Blue return from her trip. A man accompanies her. Hmm, who's that? Jealousy flares within me. First my robot, then my sunbathing beauty. Maybe I should wear all black and act like a moody teenager for awhile. Yeah, that's sure to solve all my problems.

[My Sexy Blue Feet]

it's just not your day, inv. But i did bring some oil for you.
Back to the workshop. I left Alian to find himself somewhere to sleep, and continued on my gliders. Various people came and picked up their articles and such like

[alain]

walks over to invert nexus and says hi to him, he gives a grunt which could either have been a hi or a piss off. not to be disuaded, i continue to talk to him, he mutters something about sunbathing partner, i wonder who he could mean by that...

[spuriousmonkey]

The robot is quickly turning into my best friend. I like the fact that it doesn't speak. He just shuffles along just behind me. I gave him my bag for it to carry. It didn't seem to mind. I then loaded it with firewood for my distillery. Not a squeek of protest emanating from it.

'Hey buddy, want a drink?'

'No?...I thought so...Don't mind if I will have one.'

[invert_nexus]

Sexy Blue gave me some oil for the robot. That's a relief. If only I still had him. (And I was hoping for an hysterical reaction from Spurious. :p You let me down, man. :) )

Then the new guy comes over and tries talkin' to me. I start sayin stuff like, whatever, it's cool, and use "like" alot. I feel somewhat foolish. I wonder how long I can keep up the teenager act. Alain actually seems like an alright guy...

But, no, I gotta stick to my guns. I asked him if he's ever like played chicken with an elephant. I tell him like all the cool guys around here do it. He want's to be like cool, doesn't he?

The new guy seems somewhat confused by my behavior, but he agrees that he does want to be cool. I tell him to meet me at dead man's curve tomorrow at midnight. BYOE, man. Bring your own Elephant.

I jump up on Flossie and try to get him (strange that he's a him, I originally meant it to be a her, but a huge elephant schlong can't be missed and Kunax already identified it) to spin his wheels in a cool way. Too bad he doesn't have wheels and I just end up looking foolish in my attempt. I attempt to bolster my confidence by telling myself that at least Flossie's stickin' by me. A man and his elephant. That's me. Cool, man.

[spuriousmonkey]

I put a flower pot on top of the robots head. It looks more cheerful now.

I also gave it some pants. I hate naked robots. So humiliating.

[My Sexy Blue Feet]

I turn up for the "initiation". I'm wondering, who ARE the cool guys around here, there are only two of them (till recently). Still, i turn up for the entertainment, with my collection of scirum and scisambuca. There's definetly a male fight for terroritory happening here, so i'm staying out of the flunk tetestrome

[invert_nexus]

(I set it for tomorrow at midnight, to give me some time to work out a few things. Besides, Alain's gotta round up an elephant somewhere. I suppose he could find a different ride if he wants, but ain't much gonna stand up to an elephant. :p It's time for me to get off this damn thing and go to bed. G'Night. :) )

[Dreamwalker]

I think I´ll return from the woods. Damn, I just wanted to take a short walk in them. About a week ago. I did not know that there are cannibals around
here. Well, those guys did not behave very nice, I had to beat some of them.

It is also time to get some new clothes and decent food. The fight with the
cannibals was kind of hard on my attire.
......

Finally, scivillage!
I emerge from the woods, clothed in furs and carrying a crude spear, I use for hunting and fighting, in my hands. ....

[spuriousmonkey]

I saw dreamwalker coming out of the woods with a spear in his hand. I invited him for some scirum. He told stories about his adventures. Both the robot and I listened attentively. Well, the robot seemed to listen. He still hasn't spoken a word since he stopped squeeking.

I pointed Dreamwalker towards the barber because his hear looked like a mess and told him where you can get real good cupcakes.

[Dreamwalker]

Thanks Spurious. I think I´ll take a bath first. :D
The flower pot suits your robot friend very well.
But he is not very talkative, is he?

I´ll go to the waterfall to wash all the grime and dirt from me.

[spuriousmonkey]

(since I am the outcast I like quiet friends. Hence the robot and tea with swedishfish)

[alain]

chicken with an elephant hey?? that'll make me fit right in, and maybe id fit in more if i like said like more often
im wandering round late at night, looking for an elephant, i hear one in the distance and walk towards it. its deffinately a male elephant alright, i creep over the fence and pull the elephant along with me. i cant resist looking in a window to see whose house i took an elephant from, and lying asleep i see none other than invert nexus

[invert_nexus]

Little did Alain realize that since the loss of my robot, I had trained Flossie well. If anyone tried to take him, he would go on a rampage. Alas, poor Alain, I hardly got to know him. :p Nah, he'll probably live. Just minor damage. :)

[SwedishFish]

spuriousmonkey was acting stranger than usual today. maybe my note offended him. i'll have to send some flowers to apologize. don't want to lose a perfectly good tea guest. he brought a robot to tea, which i was less than pleased about. what do you serve a robot? hot liquids will rust it, no? the only thing i can think of to feed a robot is oil.

[Dreamwalker]

Finally I got rid of all the dirt. A shower under the waterfall is really refreshing. Now my hair doesn´t look so bad, I think there is no need to
visit the barber.
I suppose I´ll stay here a while. Wandering through the forrest is such a
hassle. All those wild animals and cannibals. No thanks.

I will build myself a hut at the edge of the village.
Construction begins.....

[alain]

i had almost got Flossie home safely when all of a sudden he picks me up with his trunk, turns me upside down and smashes my head against the ground a few times, the last thought i have before i drift into unconsciousness is that i'll need to find another elephant before tomorrow night

[Dreamwalker]

My hut is finnished. Ok, it has only one room, which houses a makeshift bed
made from furs and my spear. As I do not need som many things, I am content with my moderate habitation.

I left my house to look what has changed in the village.
On my walk, I see some guy getting bashed by Invert´s elephant.
The guy seems to be unconscious. It would be better if I carry him home
and care for him until he regains consciousness.

[invert_nexus]

I woke up early this morning. I went out to see the view from my balcony. Nope, no sunbathing going on today. Hmm...

Went down to the pond and noticed that the squid that Sexy Blue brought back are swimming around quite lively. It's a strange sensation to feel their tentacles wrap around your legs while bathing. I head back home afterwards. Giving Flossie a good pat on the back on the way. "Good boy, Flossie. You're a good elephant. Yes, you are."

I head back up to the balcony and see if anything interesting is going on around the valley. I see Dreamwalker, dressed in furs, building a primitive hut. I feel the urge to go down and help him out, after all it's my job, but I resist the urge. Moody teenagers don't work.

I go back inside and grease up my hair and comb it into a duck's ass. That'll prove that I'm cool. Nothin' cooler than a duck's ass. Where's my leather jacket? Ahh, there it is, behind the paintings. Haven't worn it for a while, it's been too warm lately. But I gotta be cool, so I'll have to sweat a little. I check myself out in the mirror. Yeah, man, I'm the coolest.

I while away the rest of the day painting an awesome painting of the elephant chicken match to come. Sexy blue in the foreground in a skimpy bikini waving the handkerchief to start the race. Yeah, I'm getting better at this. Maybe I should take up art as a profession. Nah, I get too much satisfaction from building things to give it up. Art will just have to be a hobby.

I realize that the day is almost over. Outside the sun is setting. I head back downstairs and hop on Flossie. Off to Dead Man's Curve...

[alain]

i wake up around midday in a strange bed, my obvious question is "how drunk did i get?" and another "who did i sleep with??"
i turn my head and see dreamwalker sitting there, looking worried. i say to him "dont be worried, it can be just our little secret"
he looks confused, but explains to me what happened, i suddenly realise that i dont have an elephant, and need one before sunset, Flossie is out of the question. a brainwave hits me, i ask dreamwalker for some paper and glue.

two hours later, my paper mache elephant is drying in the sun. im quite impressed with it, and im naming it Snuggles. the sun eventually sets and i head for Dead Man's Curve, me n Snuggles'll teach that good for nothing teen what's what!!

[invert_nexus]

Flossie and I arrived at Dead Man's Curve. We found Sexy Blue there waiting for us. I think she had been there since the previous night. This contest must really excite her. Good. I sit down beside her to talk, while waiting for the new guy to show up. I do my best not to let my insecurities show, but I'm not sure I pulled it off. Oh well, what's a teenager without insecurities?

Finally, when I have just about convinced Blue to sneak off in the bushes for a bit, Alain shows up dragging an elephant behind him. My jaw drops when I see his elephant. The thing is frickin' HUGE!!! I've never seen an elephant that size before. I don't understand why the ground doesn't shake as it moves towards us. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all.

I stand up, trying to look nonchalant.

I say "'Sup?"

Alain says, "Nothin'."

I say, "Whatever."

Alain says, "It's cool."

I say, "Well, you ready?"

Alain says, "Born ready."

I say, "Let's do it."

Alain says, "'K."

I turn to jump up on Flossie. That's when I realize that Flossie noticed the new elephant, too. It seems that Flossie took a liking to her. He's presently assuming the mount position and getting down to elephant business. The air is full of the musky scent of elephant sex and a low rumble fills the air.

I'm not sure what to think about this. I suppose it's cool that Flossie has found someone to love, but I'm somewhat grossed out by the whole affair. I can't stop myself. I break into laughter. I'm quickly joined by Alain and Blue.

"Well, I guess we better wait 'til they're done, huh? Wonder how long elephants take with this kind of thing?"

[alain]

im doing the gentlemenly thing, trying to block blue from having to see the elephants, but when i notice her looking around me at them i mumble an apology and step out the way, i tried

i turn to invert and say
"now that we've played chicken, am i cool now??"

[invert_nexus]

"Well, I guess anybody that can bring that look of satisfaction to my Flossie can't be all bad." I stick out my hand to shake.

Just then, Flossie finishes his business in the background. The rear end of the new elephant collapses into a pile of sticky mush.

"What the hell?"

Alain starts laughing as he realizes what's happened. He confesses to making the elephant out of paper mache. I should be pissed, but I realize that he's really good at sculpting. Maybe I'll show him my paintings sometime. We can collaborate on some art projects perhaps. Maybe he can make sculptures for the buildings I create. We start jabbering away about art and completely forget about Sexy Blue.

At some point, she gets fed up with the whole thing and jumps up on Flossie's back and rides off.

[alain]

a few hours later, when i realise that its dark, cold and lacking sexy blue i get to my feet, help invert to his and start to walk back to the village, on the wy, i ask him where i could get some good scirum, man im thirsty

[invert_nexus]

Ahh, the devil scirum. I mostly abstain myself, but SpuriousMonkey is the local bootlegger. He also sells erotic pottery.

[spuriousmonkey]

(and there used to be a bar in the center of the village)

[alain]

used to be??? *screams* what happened to it?

[My Sexy Blue Feet]

There was a bar? Man, i missed that.

I left early so the boys could do some male bonding over mating paper elephants. Its good to see them talking a bit, although i do forsee some contriversy in the future.

I rejoined the group to find both boys doing the usual manly drinking things (singing badly, telling raunchy jokes until they noticed me, wrestling, slapping each other) so i left them to it, and curled up with my new mink and bottle of scisambucca. Got happily drunk, debating physics and Newtons law to myself. Inv came out for a bit, and debated drunkenly as well, until well into the night. I tried to convince him that the duck arse look is so yesterday.

[Kunax]

(was the bar destroyed, hehe dont remember that)

[spuriousmonkey]

SCIVILLAGE
report by:
Outcast: spuriousmonkey

DAY1

It was another typical day at scivillage for me. I had been quite lucky lately I guess. I had made myself a canoe by hollowing out a tree and had used it to visit another village far downstream. People didn't know me there and that was what I liked. I had even met a girl there who wasn't repulsed by me as the local girls were. During my last trip she had discovered my outcast status and had casted me out.

I was back to myself now. I sat at the edge of the village surveying it. The village was still quite peaceful. People at scivillage tended to be lazy. Nobody had bothered to get up yet. People would start coming out of their huts any moment know so I got up and left. I would make some nice clay pots with erotic decorations which I would sell later to the lonely men of scivillage. I usually used the money i got for this to buy fermented fruitjuice from Rogue. I had the feeling he had been diluting his shit a bit too much lately. ScRaMbLe and RebelWithoutACow had been complaining too.

My next project would be to set up my own distillery. I had to do it in secret though. Korey the priest would condemn this worshipping of the ever filled glass of fermented fruit juice and probably conspire with swedishfish to have me executed by Dr. Lou Natic.

But I wasn't afraid. I had been secretly collecting the necessary equipment and hidden it well. I innocently had asked zonabi, our local alchemist some random questions, a few of which on distilling.

But now I was heading to my own hut. I needed cash.


see the very first sciforum report...by me myself and I. Rogue had a bar.

[invert_nexus]

(Maybe the bar collapsed in an earthquake? I hear the drinks there were crap anyway. You're all probably better off with scirum. And now, Sexy Blue has brought a new alcoholic delight to the village, scisambucca.)

After Alain and I had discussed art till the small hours, we arose and stumbled into town. Whew, I never drink and here I am drunk again. Living in scivillage is being a bad influence on me. I asked Alain where he was staying and he seemed to get kinda dodgey about it. Like he had something to hide. Once again, my jealousy flared up. Is he staying with Sexy Blue? I told him that I had built a house for Padma who had not returned to the village for quite some time. I'm sure she wouldn't mind if he stayed there until she got back.

After seeing Alain safely to Padma's house, I decide to go visit Sexy Blue. I almost got to first base last night at Dead Man's Curve, maybe I could do better without interruptions.

When I get to her house, I find her laying in her hammock tipping back a bottle of scisambucca. I pull up a seat and pour on the charm. She tried to tell me that my new hairstyle was out of date, but I was too drunk too accept it. I kept saying "But the Fonz has a duck's ass and he's cool, ain't he?"

Kunax was creepin' by in the night. I tried the old beastmaster line, "Be careful, the tiger is fierce." But Blue wasn't quite so drunk that she didn't remember Kunax. Damn, should have used the line before she got to know him. Now it's too late.

I apologize for being such an ass the last couple of days, I don't know what came over me. I ask her how she likes her new workshop, I haven't had the chance to talk to her about it since her return.

She says it lovely and thanks me for building it. She suddenly leaps out of the hammock. "Oh, I want you to see my latest work. It's not finished yet, but you'll love it." I follow her into the workshop and she shows me her unfinished hang-glider. Somehow, while inspecting the fabric, I stumble and fall into her. We tumble into the fabric and wind up getting hopelessly tangled together.

Outside, the tiger roars in the forest. I try the beast is fierce line again. Drunkenly forgetting that I've already used it.

[My Sexy Blue Feet]

When we were inspecting the hang-glider, Inv lost his footing, and instead of holding him, i slipped too. In a normal situation, this would be easily solved, but for two seriously intoxicated people, it is not a simple task. The alcohol has had some serious effects on my balance, so in the act of standing up, we both end up more tangled up and again on the floor. I suggest sleeping here for the night, as at the time, it seemed far too difficult to get up. Anyway, its a nice evening. I closed the door, to stop any wandering tigres from walking in, and fall asleep. Nex said he'd keep an eye out for tigres

[invert_nexus]

Good idea, it's too far to walk home anyway. I'd probably fall in the pond. I don't trust the squid. I think they'd take advantage of me if I fell in the pool while drunk.

Somehow, I couldn't shake the feeling that we were being watched.

Also, the tiger seemed to have quieted down, I could no longer hear his roars in the distance.

[My Sexy Blue Feet]

I woke up with the worlds worse hangover, and the feeling of disorientation. After lying there for a few minutes, i had a vague recollection of drunkenness and falling. And the worst feeling that i should be paying attention to whatever happened to Flossy. Probably drinknig off the shame.
Na, the sun's still up, too early to get up. I fall asleep, with the lingering thought of
"Why are Inv and I sleeping in the middle of the workshop?"

[Kunax]

Moving into the forest I dont have to wait long before a unsuspceting deer pass my hidding place, it is swiftly killed with a bite to the neek.
Just as im eating my kill spuriousmonkey stumples out the forest, a bit more drunk the usual. His been follow me since the village and as he closes in, he point and says "you take my cupcakes, now I'll take your meat" then he launchs himself towards the deer and start chewing, starting a new eating competesion.
When we are finished, I stand clearly as the winner, because i have the biggest teeth and the longest tail

Back in the village, i looking true a crack in Sexy Blue workshop I see movement inside, walking around to the double doors in the front I try to pry it open, sofar no luck.

(edit: the bar can proberly be fixed with a little paint and a new building)

[SwedishFish]

i sent a huge bouquet of scirises to spurious first thing this morning with a note attached saying "you're a very attractive monkey". i feel just awful for offending him. it's just that fish and monkeys can't mate.
it's hot in the forest today. it's already 28 in the early morn. it might be 35 in the afternoon. a swim would be divine. i went over to the blue footed ones to buy some bubble bath, but i saw her passed out on the table. maybe the robot killed her! i ran back to my hut as fast as i could, turned out the lights and locked myself in. on second thought, the whore might finally find the hut. so i left a note on the door: "no sex today".

[invert_nexus]

Urrghh... My head... Aagghh... I think I'm dying. I struggle to my elbows and blearily look around. Sexy Blue's workshop? Oh, yeah... Blue lies curled up next to me. She's sleeping so peacefully, I don't want to wake her up. I carefully get to my feet and stumble outside. Aaaghh... So bright... I squint my eyes to keep the worst of the glare down. Brrr, it's a tad chilly out this morning. Where's my jacket? Oh, Blue's using it for a pillow. Oh well, maybe the cold will wake me up a little. I don't want to seem like I'm sneaking away, so I go pick some flowers and make a bouquet. I set the bouquet next to Blue with a note. I look at her for a moment, capturing the moment in my mind so that I might transfer it to canvas later. I then pull some of the fabric over her so she won't get cold and make my way to the pool to wash up.

On the way, I pass by SwedishFish's hut. There's a note on the door. "No Sex Today." Hmm, that's too bad. Must be a local religious holiday or something. I leave the oil Blue brought back for me on her door. I understand that she often serves SpuriousMonkey and the Robot tea. Now she can have something for the Robot.

I get to the pond and shuck off my jeans. I realize that I left my shirt behind with my jacket. Oh well, good excuse to go back later. I dive into the water. COLD! COLD!!! The water is so cold that I almost can't even feel the squids as they slither about me.

After the bath, I feel much better. Almost human again. The day is starting to warm up now. I lounge about beside the pool for a while soaking up some sun. Then I head home.

Flossie looks like he hasn't been to sleep yet. He's been drinking all night. The head and front half of Snuggles is laying besides him. Every now and again he reaches over with his trunk and caresses it. Poor Flossie. I think his heart's been broken. I should probably try to find a mate for him. Spring is in the air and thoughts turn to love.

But, first I have to paint before the image of this morning fades from my mind. I set up my easel on my balcony and start painting.

[alain]

i wake up and spend a lazy morning thinking about trivial things of the upmost importance

after being formally accepted into the cool crowd in the village, i started to think about what i could bring to the village, invert said that i was pretty good at art, maybe i could help him with some of his art, but then my brain kicks in, would i really want to spend too much time with him? probably not, but i decided to give him a chance anyway.

but then my nose kicked in, my nose was telling me that i didnt want to hang round that smelly guy, so, back to square one of deciding what to do

[My Sexy Blue Feet]

(aren't we in the middle of winter?)
I woke up to a bunch of flowers. Owwwwww..... ARGHHGHGH nooononoooo, there's a picture of me...... NO PICTURES!!!!!

Ah, I probably should have told them about my phobia of pictures. It's probably why i sailed here, if i could remember.

To make it up to Inv though, i make him breaky, and tell him that he can keep the canvas if he would like to. Even got him his trousers back from the pond.
Alian seems to be keeping his distance today. I'm beginning to realise that people may be beginning to wonder about me, especially after i saw the NO SEX TODAY sign outside. And i started off with the whole sweet and innocent image happening as well. :bugeye:

[invert_nexus]

I finished my painting. Beautiful, if I do say so myself. I hang it on the wall next to the others. I go back to the balcony and look around. No sunbathing going on. Maybe Blue's still hung over. Poor girl. I'll have to head over to her place later and see if she needs anything.

First, I figure I'll wait by the pool for a while and catch some rays. I see Alain wandering around like he needs something to do. He sees me and starts to ramble over; before he gets too close, he wrinkles his nose and turns around quickly walking in the other direction. Hmm, wonder what's up with that? I don't stink do I? I bathe everyday, with soap even. I give my pits a quick sniff. Nope, everything fine in there. Of course, if I did stink, I probably wouldn't smell it. Maybe I should ask Sexy Blue to invent some deodorant to go with the soap.

I remember Alain going on about the lack of a bar in town. Maybe I could build one or renovate the old one and he could become a bartender. But, who'd want to spend all day in a smelly bar when the countryside is so beautiful around here. I know, I could make it an open air bar. Maybe some kind of retractable roof in case of rain. Yeah, I run back to my house for my sketchpad and start drawing plans for various designs.

The real question would be where to put it. My first inclination is by the waterfall, but do I really want a bar so close to my house? Well, we can work those details out later. Hell, I don't even know if he's game to be the town bartender. If not, it could always be a serve yourself bar.

As I leave my house to return to the pool where I can think better, I see that Flossie has finally passed out. His trunk entwined around Snuggles' trunk. That's so sad. I'll have to go on an elephant hunt tomorrow. See if I can't find him a mate.

[invert_nexus]

(Blue, you're obviously in the southern hemisphere, I take it? Sunny and warm up here in the north. :p Thanks for the trousers, I have a bad habit of forgetting to put my clothes back on. :D And about the painting, you must remember that it's a painting not a photograph. I assure you that you're the vision of loveliness in my mind's eye. ;) )


BTW, I'm really too shy about my paintings to show them to anybody yet, I just hope the Robot doesn't tell on me. He's the only one that knows about them. Well, I guess you guys know I'm into painting, but the subject matter is unknown.

[My Sexy Blue Feet]

(yeah, southern Hemisphere. I'm in Oz though, so it's not too cold. Oh shucks :o )

[invert_nexus]

(Where at in Oz? In the desert? I saw a movie on the Independent Film Channel a while back. It was named after a town, don't remember the name though. It was a town at the end of the railroad down there. Out in bum-fucked Egypt. It actually kinda reminded me of my hometown in Kansas. Little tiny town full of weird people with nothing to do. Wish I could remember the name. I was actually entertained by it.)

[spuriousmonkey]

Scivillage report
spuriousmonkey - outcast
'Oil spill'

Although the robot is quite useful it is also rather annoying. It starts cleaning the place at 6 in the morning which is both useful and annoying. I gave the robot a name: Bob. I can call him Bobbie though.

There was a new note on the door. It said: "You are a very attractive monkey". That made me rather confused. Was this an invitation to show more incentive?

I polished my robot and put on my best flip flops and filled a bag with my best scirum and headed towards Swedishfish's place for some tea and cupcakes.

There was a note on the door: "no sex today".

Women can be so complicated. I picked up a stick and banged the robots head with it because it hurts too much to bang my oan head. Was this note meant for everybody, the milkman, an unknown or for me?

The robot disappeared for a second and came back with an oilcan. I told it firmly to put it back where it belongs because I didn't want to offend swedishfish in any way. I waved the stick in the air to further emphasize my position on this matter. The robot seemed unperturbed. I hit it once on the head to reinforce my position. Bobbie grabbed the oilcan even tighter and squeezed it against its metal body. "Now now...come on, be a good lad and give daddy the oil", I said in my most strict manner. The oilcan was squeezed even tighter. That was too much for me. I started swinging my stick and making good contact with the end of the stick and the top of the robot's head. Dents appeared in the previous pristine metal. The robot was stubborn and squeezed the oilcan even more...

The oilcan couldn't resist this mechanical force any longer. A fontain of oil squirted from the oilcan covering both me and Bobbie under a greasy layer of slik oil. That was not the only thing that got covered with oil. The facade of swedishfish's hut was similarly smeared with sticky oil.

I stopped hitting bobbie and we both looked at each other. The next moment we were both running home covered in oil hoping that nobody had noticed.

[Dreamwalker]

Hmm, it is not that entertaining in this village...
Of course, there are some funny people around. Ah well, I need some meat, so I grab
my spear and go into the forrest to hunt.
But this time, I think this time I´ll only stay a couple of hours and not weeks in the forrest :D

[alain]

i saw the funniest thing happen today, spurious monkey started bashing up a robot, and it ended up with them both covered in oil, i drew a picture of this, but because of my lack of drawing skills it was just a coupla stick figures, oh well

after id hung up my 'masterpiece' i had a great idea, if i became a bartender, i could get lots of scirum :) ill get the bar fixed up and become a bartender, itd be great

[invert_nexus]

Another glorious morning in scivillage. I go once more to my balcony to survey what I might see. It's a quiet morning, seems like I'm awake before everyone else. A light fog drapes the valley like a velvet glove. The tiger roars in the distance.

I make out the form of the Robot standing outside of SpuriousMonkey's house. It looks like it's wearing pants. That's odd, I thought, but odder still was the strange angle at which it's head canted. It seemed somewhat misshapen as well. I couldn't get a great view from this angle, maybe it's a trick of the mist.

I'll have to ask Blue to invent some binoculars or a telescope. Excellent view up here, if I could see far enough. I should round up that bell and make a village warning bell. If anything should happen, I'd be sure to see it coming up here. (Not that I foresee any invasions or anything. ;) Although, wasn't there a mafia family that ran this town at the beginning? I seem to remember rumors of a rebellion as well.)

After I finish hanging the bell, I notice Dreamwalker packing up his gear. Looks like he's heading out on a hunt. I ran to catch him before he leaves. I offer him a proposition. If he'll help me track down a female elephant for Flossie then I'll build him a house. Hell, I'd probably build him one anyway, "But how about lending a hand, you seem to have excellent hunting skills. If anyone is the great white hunter around here, you're it."

Mind you, I want it alive. And it's got to be hot. Can't get Flossie a dog, now can I?


Hmmm, I just had a thought. What if I used Flossie's horniness to perform an experiment. What would happen if I could convince Flossie to mate with a pig? It's definitely got possibilities. Would need some type of concoction from Sexy Blue to allow the cross-species fertilization to take place. I bet she won't go along though. Too bad Dr. Lu isn't still hanging around, he was a doctor not a scientist, but he might be able to come up with something. :D

[Dreamwalker]

You want me to catch an elephant? That should not be that difficult.
So let´s get out there and track down an elephant.
Female you say?

The morning fog will surely make it hard to hunt, I hope it lifts soon...
Invert and I are heading into the forrest to catch him a female elephant.
It took me quite a while to discover the tracks of an elephant. They are not
very old, I suppose we follow them.
Damn this fog, searching a grey elephant in equally gray fog...

[Kunax]

Watching hiddin in the fog as Dreamwalker and Nexus sets off on there joyrney to catch a elephant with there bare hands. This is goiong to be grant, how are they going to catch the heavy animal and what about the other elephant in the pack. I desides to follow after from a safe distance where i will not be seen or tranpled but still able to see the show.

[invert_nexus]

We set forth into the steamy jungle. My jungle guide, Dreamwalker, is a hulking brute that seems to know the ways of the jungle as though born to them. I have no fear for my safety as a consequence of this. The only danger I could foresee was if my guide should turn on me. But, I have, hidden at my side, a mini-blowgun and darts tipped with Cannibal X toxin. I have been secretly practicing at home in front of the mirror, and I believe I have become a quick draw artist. "You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Well, you must be talkin' to me cuz I'm the only one here. You talkin' to me? Oh, yeah!" So I held the utmost confidence in my ability to defend myself should any circumstance arrive.

Before we set out on our expedition, I had visited Sexy Blue. I mentioned to her my idea of getting an elephant and a pig to make sweet love, but she responded only with chilly silence. I had known she wouldn't go for it, but I had to try anyway. What this town needs is a mad scientist. Perhaps I should take up another hobby?

Anyway, after failing to convince her of the breeding experiment, I told her of my plan to track down a mate for Flossie. I had hoped she would like to travel along, after all a trip into the bush is sure to present opportunities for scientific discoveries of some kind. But, she was too worked up over her hang-gliders and couldn't be torn away from her research. She wished me well on my journey and gave me a kiss on the cheek for luck. Blushing, I gathered my shirt and jacket and set forth on this grand expedition.

Dreamwalker interrupts my reverie by raising his hand and giving a grunt. "Ugh, we are being tracked."

I look around, but see nothing. The jungle is full of the sounds of native wildlife, birds in the distance, howler monkies in the canopy. I could detect nothing unusual. I started to say that perhaps it's nothing.

Suddenly, DreamWalker spins on his heels and hurls a spear into the bush. (Are you using a regular spear or a spear thrower?) I see a flash of orange and hear a yowl of pain and outrage.

Kunax lunges from his hiding place. It appeared he had reacted in the nick of time and reduced the wounding to a mere nick on his tail. Before we could react, he was on DreamWalker. They were knocked to the ground in a furious, scrambling heap. They wrestled with one another. Biting and clawing, they tussled, making odd sounds of pain and fury.

"Wait, DreamWalker, this is Kunax! He's a friendly tiger. Kunax! This is DreamWalker, I'm sure he wouldn't have hurt you if he'd known!" I hesitate to try and break them up because their combat is so fierce. Never have I seen a man fight in such a bestial manner. Never have I seen Kunax fight with such viciousness and glee.

Gradually, I realized that the sounds they were making was laughter. They were just playing! I see now that Kunax had been taking it easy on us when involved in play-fighting previously. It turns out that DreamWalker and Kunax knew each other from jungle school. In fact, DreamWalker's adopted step-mother was Kunax's second cousin on his father's side.

Kunax made joking reference to how long it took DreamWalker to figure out he was tracking him. "You're getting sloppy, man-whelp."

I realize that DreamWalker can understand Kunax. I ask him if he has a babel fish in his ear too. Turns out that DreamWalker was raised by the beasts of the Jungle and understands their language naturally. (I had a tough time here how much to make you like the great white hunter, tarzan, or mowgli. :p Pardon for taking liberties. I tried to leave it as open as possible.)

Well, the next few hours are spent in the catching up of old friends. I hear many funny stories and gain insight into the character of both man and tiger, but am mostly left feeling like the third wheel. I wish Blue were here. Hell, even Spurious or SwedishFish, even though her sexual inhibitions are somewhat odd.

I get up and wander away from the group. I don't think either notice because they're to deep in conversation. I notice a flash of silver in the distance. Wait, there it is again. What is that? I try to get closer. Each time I reach the spot I think I saw it, I see it flash again, just a little further on...

A tinkling laughter rings faintly in the woods.

(BTW, about the elephants. I captured Flossie easily enough. :p I actually wasn't thinking in terms of a herd. I guess Flossie was a male and outside a herd. Any sexy female would have to be part of herd I'd bet. Any loners would most likely be malnourished and the like. Hmm, have to see what the tracker has to say. It's a good thing DreamWalker has the ability to speak to animals (at least some animals) since the babel fish are dead.)

[My Sexy Blue Feet]

First it's ape-slaves, now it's babephants?!? No wonder i don't understand men.
I know, i've been obsessed with these gliders, but they have me rather fasinated. I should have them finished tomorrow, as long as i can get the air con working. I met tarzan-man though, so that was kewl. I've got a telescope already from when i was trading with the other village, so pick it up when you get back.
Of late, i have been thinking about the voices i heard on the first few nights here. Wonder if there's been a history of that, or if it's just a fish thing.
Apart from that, i spent the majority of the day sunbaking.

[invert_nexus]

(Oh sure, back to sunbathing now that I'm out of town. :p

Somehow, I just knew that you wouldn't go for the crossbreeding. We definitely need a mad scientist in this town. Your feet are too firmly on the ground. I mean, when will someone think of the radioactive monsters? :D)

[alain]

with invert nexus out of town and sexy blue sunbathing, i saw this as a perfect time to get to know sexy a bit better... as a friend of course *wink*

i walk over to where she is and lie down next to her, i open my mouth to say something witty, but what comes out is
"so.. about that, weather"
she just turns away from me a bit, more then likely playing hard to get, not to be put of, i talk to her about many interesting things, especially my plans for when i own a pub, you can tell shes interested in what im saying, even though she tries to hide it

[invert_nexus]

The sounds of laughter and conversation draw closer. They're just up ahead. It sounds like a party.

I come to the edge of a clearing. I am stupified by what I see before me. The clearing is decked out with ribbons and bells. Long tables filled with food and spirits stretch before me. The seats are filled with a variety of shapes and form. There were many man-like forms, some varying only by having a small "mutation". A dog-headed boy, a female with a long leopard tail and claws; some could only slightly be distinguished from human by some "thing" about them. It is hard to define, a lightness, translucency, a smudging of their form as though they somehow existed on a level just slightly higher than I. That I was only seeing them through a trick of cosmos. There were others, dwarvish-looking characters bowling in the corner. Some creatures were too fantastic to even describe. Vast diaphanous archangels glimmering in the light to foul, bestial monstrosities capering with delight.

I began to feel strange, an unreal sensation washes up my spine. I begin to feel as though I were experiencing a dream. I see the flash of silver again, at the head of the largest table. A vision of radiance that compels me to cast aside all sense of trepidation. I find myself entering the clearing. Running towards the vision. The creatures caper about me, offering food, drink, entertainment. I sink into an oblivious haze...


In my slumber, I have strange dreams about Alain horning in on my action...

(There, I got my apemen after all. It's not quite what I had in mind, but fulfillment nonetheless. :p Doubt if I could convince one of these guys to be my butler though. Maybe if I could beat them at some type of game... )

[Dreamwalker]

Yo, Tarzan here...
Invert, what you made up is all right, being a Tarzan like character is not that bad. And just as information I use a normal spear.

Sometime during my conversation with Kunax, I notice that Invert Nexus is gone. Where is he? His tracks lead deeper into the forrest. I better follow him, this jungle can be quite dangerous.

[My Sexy Blue Feet]

Inv, give up, ape-men on a different plane of existance are, most likely, not accustom to manual labour and servitude.
Yeah, i was hoping to sunbake in peace :-P sometimes, a gal needs some space.
By the way, do you mind if i use your balcony to jump off? I want to test the gliders, and your balcony has the advantage of that if the gliders don't work, i just end up swimming.
Alain, i don't suppose you could incorporate the nightclub into your pub somehow?

Hey, does anyone know when Padma's coming back? I'm feeling outnumbered here.

[invert_nexus]

(Heh heh, I kinda think Padma's gone for good. It's a real shame too, she never even spanked me. She was the resident spankologist, and I don't think she ever got to practice her art. But, you never know, she might turn up out of the blue one of these days.

Sure, you can use my balcony... Shit, all the paintings are hanging on the walls. My obsession is soon to be revealed. :p

And about the ape-men, I'm thinking they're fairy creatures of some sort. It is said that fairies love games. If I could just beat them at a round of bowling or something, I might have a chance. :) )

[My Sexy Blue Feet]

A spankologist???????? I"m not even going to ask......

Give it up Nex.

[invert_nexus]

Village Spanker that was her job. She chose it herself. Don't blame me. :p

And give it up? I take it you're referring to the ape-men? Well, I was gonna just have a comical little adventure and most likely end up with donkey ears or sleeping for 20 years or something; but, because of your lack of faith in my abilities, I think I might just come up with a workable scenario to come home with a servant. I'll have to think on this one awhile. Ready for some pixie dust? ;)

[My Sexy Blue Feet]

i was expecting tarzan to come back with you part-ape, and as his house isn't built yet, he was going to crash with you. Yeah, bring on the pixie dust.........

[invert_nexus]

Live with DreamWalker?! I don't know about that. I could barely live with a robot, you think I could live with a jungle-man? Besides, I think he's happier in the wild anyway. When I build his house, I will have to make it rough and rustic, with aspects of nature incorporated into it. It will be my greatest work ever. Of course, I might just have a magical assistant to help me with the more fantastical elements of it.

Ok, let's see here...


I blearily open my eyes. Around me, the festivities continue unabated. I feel as though I've slept for a long time; but when I look into the sky, the sun is in the same position that I remember from earlier. Strange.

I rise to my feet. The strange denizens of this place notice my movement and begin to crowd around me once more. They offer me my every hearts desire. Fulfillment of body and mind. But, I am uneasy. I recall the warnings of my grandmother. "Beware of the sylvan folk, my boy," she would tell me, "they are not of this world. Their ways are strange and any mortal that should have dealings with them shall surely fall into trouble."

With that warning echoing in my mind, I attempt to make my way towards the edge of the clearing. Graciously turning down the offers that are made to me. Trying hard not to cause insult to these beings. I gradually get closer and closer to freedom. I can see the break in the foliage where I had entered this realm. It beckons just beyond reach. I lunge forward to reach it and...

"HALT!! WHERE GOEST THOU MORTAL?! IT WOULD BE UNSEEMLY TO ALLOW A MORTAL TO LEAVE OUR PRESENCE WITHOUT HIM TASTING THE FULLNESS OF OUR HOSPITALITY!!" boomed a voice that echoed in the glade. It seemed as though a mad cacophany of bells were pealing in my mind. My vision reeled and my escape route vanished, sealed by a variety of creeper vines and flowers.

"I just want to go home," I say pathetically, "nothing more. I thank you for your generosity, but my people are worried about me. They must think something has happened to me in the woods. I've been gone a long time." I turn and try to find the being that addresses me. The voice had seemed to come from everywhere, including inside myself. The assemblage of strange folk had grown quiet. An air of suspense began to build like a thunderhead building on a summer day.

"TIME NO LONGER PASSES IN YOUR WORLD, MORTAL!! IN THIS GLEN ALL IS AS THE BEGINNING! DO NOT SEEK TO DEFILE IT WITH YOUR CONCEPT OF TIME!!" A shadow passes over the sun and the atmosphere begins to take on a frosty air. My breath steams from my lips.

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to offend. I just thought that my very presence here was somewhat disruptive to your party. If I just left, you could go on with your fun without me mucking it up." There, the flash of silver again.

"HA HA HA!!! WHY, NEXUS, THE FUN IS JUST BEGINNING. WE WERE WAITING FOR YOU TO AWAKE TO BEGIN THE GAMES! IT HAS BEEN A GREAT WHILE, EVEN IN OUR CONCEPTION OF "TIME", SINCE A MORTAL HAS JOINED US IN THE GAMES!!"

Lightning cracks overhead and the clearing is instantly black as midnight on a new moon. The crowd of beings begin to murmur. An uproarious chattering begins to escalate in the darkness. Cries of glee, cries of anger, cries of ambivalence. The night lasts an eternity.

Then, the light returns. I find myself in a new situation. The clearing and the woods are gone. Or rather, they're miles below me, seen through wisps of cloud, thunder, and hail. I am standing on a thundercloud.

Once more, the flash of silver. This time immediately in front of me. It coalesces into a form. A seven-foot tall figure draped in shimmering samite. A long tangled beard extends to his waist. His face is rough as the stone of the mountains. His hands grip a long gnarled staff. His eyes are the storm and twinkle with merriment or savagery, I know not which.

"WELL NOW...ahem, cough... Well, now. Are you ready to begin? What would you wager?"

[alain]

a nightclub sounds like a good idea, thx Sexy blue

[Dreamwalker]

My search for Invert did not bear fruit. I followed his traces but somehow,
they abruptly ended. Even Kunax can no longer smell anything of Invert.
Damn, what happened? How could he just disappear?
It´s like the floor of the jungle opened up and swallowed him.
I think I´ll wait here for a while. Mostly because I do not know where else
I could look for him....

[invert_nexus]

(Heh, yeah, sorry to abandon you in the woods like that. :p When the muse hits, I must go where it leads. Don't worry, I'll be back. I gotta figure out what kind of game to play. I'm thinking maybe darts with lightning bolts or something. Maybe some sky bowling.)

[Dreamwalker]

(no problem there, I have time, it´s not like I have to work on something :D)

[Kunax]

("I gotta figure out what kind of game to play" ah so I'm not the only one a bit lost sometimes :). I had this idea of finding you in a patch of meat eating fungi producing some form of hallucinogen to catch pray, That way i would also take away your ape man.)

Our search for Nexus had ended in a small clearing where Nexus track ended abruptly, As Dreamwalker crushed down to study the last part of the track, i walked around in the edge of the clearing trying to hear any thing unusual in the dense jungle, but except for a strange buzzing(electrical) and the occasional lightning or 2, I hear nothing out of the normal.

Walking back to DreamWalker, I turn around facing in the direction of the sound, and just as I was about to tell him of the sounds i heared, I accidently slapped him in the face with my tail.
Forgetting my initial purpose I slapped him again, still he did nothing, so i slapped him for a 3rd time, this time Dreamwalker look up a bit annoyed, I acted like nothing had happened and avoided eye contact.
Finally Dreamwalker return to studing the track, and since he was looking away, I tail wag him for the 4th time. This time i got the desire reaction, Dreamwalker look back up, and with his best command voice demanded i stop, This was my cue to start wagging wildly in the general direction of Dreamwalker....


(Tigers: bad smell, color blind and excelent hearing(200 Hz to 100 kHz) :))

[invert_nexus]

(I'm at a loss of what to do quite a bit. I usually come up with a simple starting point and then start typing to see what happens. :) Sometimes, I'm surprised myself.

And thanks for not playing the hallucination card. That was a fear I had when I came up with this particular storyline.

I still don't know where to go yet, the game has to be good, so I'll work on it later.)

[Dreamwalker]

Now, why is this stupid tiger always wagging me with his tail?
Can´t he see that I am busy?

What do you want Kunax? Have you found anything?

[invert_nexus]

"Now, Nexus, what would you wager?"

"What's the game?"

"That would be telling. What would you wager?"

"My release. If I win, let me go, if I lose then I will be your prisoner."

"HAHaHa!! No, my boy, you don't understand. You are not a prisoner. We will let you go once the games are done. And you seem confused by our terms. We do things 'differently' here. Your wager is what you wish to receive. My wager is what I will receive. Now, what would you wager?"

"Well, in that case... Maybe I could take one of your servants as my servant. To do my bidding in the world from which I came."

"Hmmm, yes, that would be satisfactory. I shall grant you the use of my 'favorite' servant if you should win. And, now comes MY wager. If I should win, then you shall go free; but, all your friends will be my servants. Yes, I would find that most satisfactory."

"Wait, I can't wager my friends. Their lives are their own."

"Haha ha hahaha, that is right, Nexus, you can't wager them. But I can. And I just did." He strikes the ground... er, cloud... underneath our feet and a great thunderclap rang through the air. A sickening feeling of vertigo clenched my stomach as the cloud veered downwards, hurtling in a seeming crash course with the ground.

The village swam into view and I saw the inhabitants frittering around, performing the tasks which they are want to do. Sexy Blue laying in the sun and toying with a harness for her new experiment. SpuriousMonkey busily working with his still, producing the nectar which is his life's work. Alain, the new guy, putting the moves on Blue (who I'm glad to say seemed far more interested in her invention than Alain's attentions). SwedishFish on her front step angrily cleaning up an oily mess. The barber desperately trying to drum up business. The chef angrily denying his chef-hood. All in all, a picture perfect day in sciVillage.

Until now, that is. They all looked upwards in shock and wonder at the great stormcloud that dove into view above them. They all seemed so small, so defenseless. What had I gotten myself into. I briefly considered jumping off the cloud. I could probably land in the pool and escape most injuries.

"No, my friend, you cannot leave until the games are over. Do not worry, they cannot see us. The cloud is a mere curiosity to them. They have no idea the fate which hangs over them. I merely brought us here to get a good look at them. Now that I have..."

Again that feeling of vertigo as the cloud zoomed into the stratosphere.

"Now that I have seen my wager, you may see yours." He strikes the cloud once more with his staff and the crowd of beings part. In the center stood a slight, unseemly character. It stood only three feet tall. It seemed to be a cross between a man and a Cappucin monkey. A taller figure stood behind it. In his hands was an organ grinder. He began to crank away at the device and a most unearthly music emanated forth. The monkey-man began to dance. Faster and faster the handler cranked. Faster and faster the monkey danced. The crowd began to cheer and applaud. Trying to throw off the monkey's rythym. But the monkey stayed true to the beat and danced, faster. Faster. Faster.

I noticed that the monkey was beginning to rise from the surface of the cloud as he danced. I then noticed diminutive wings on the monkey's back. The wings of a moth fluttered and raised the monkey higher and higher in the air as he danced. Whirling, twirling, cavorting, capering, the dance continued.

Once more, my host struck his staff upon the cloud, "ENOUGH!!"

Immediately the handler stopped cranking the crank. The monkey ceased his dance and began to sink slowly to the ground. His body was covered in a sheen of sweat and a look of rapture covered his face.

"That's enough. You have seen your wager. I assure you that he is capable of many great things. You will be entirely satisfied with his servitude. Now, to the game."


(I still don't know what game to play. I have an idea though. I'll finish it tomorrow.)

[Dreamwalker]

You better win. I don´t like to be a servant :D

[alain]

itd be worth becoming a servant just to see dreamwalker as a servant and you wandering around scivillage being really lonely, so come on invert, lose

[invert_nexus]

(Don't let me stop you from going about your affairs. :) And how could you even think I would allow myself to lose. I wonder what would happen if it was a draw? These guys seem to play by their own rules.)

[My Sexy Blue Feet]

Perhaps if there is a draw, you play another game, and the stakes change. Rise even. Some socery? I wouldn't mind a town that can float 3k in the sky. We could flood the pond as much as we want, even with bubbles, and it wouldn't matter........
I think........poker? Chess? A sms'ing contest?
Hey, if he has that kind of powers, maybe you do too, it could be a floating cloud thing.

I was repairing the harness of my glider..... it is working, but not to the best of it's ability. Perhaps even add a tiger sideseat. Suddenly it's become cold and dark, so dark. A stormcloud has grown suddenly above us, in a perfect sphere. How strange......
Dreamwalker, Kunax and Nexus haven't returned yet. I wonder idly when they'll be back. I went to go order a desert off the chef, and he seemed more than happy to oblibge, so i'm wondering what he's scheming.

[Kunax]

Dreamwalker asks "What do you want Kunax? Have you found anything?"

Yes the was something, but I forgot, so I'll just eat you instead, I says as I turn around and jump on Dreamwalker. The weight of a tiger is to must for Dreamwalker to carry, as his legs fail beneath him, on the ground he strugelst to keep my head away from his, I playfully grabs his arm in my mouth, I have him now there is no escape.

Then with a thundering sound, to low for human ears to hear, the Sylvans departed for the village. Hearing the sound I released Dreamwalkers arm, leaving only some teeth mark and a lot of drool, Then told him about the Sylvans.
Dreamwalkers look a bit worried hearing the news, as there is no knowing what the spirits of naturn can or will do, there for its better to stay clear of them, because if trap by them, the only escape is to beat them at there own game.

We start heading back to the village, perhaps someone there would know what to do, if not Nexus would have to free him self or be trapped for ever.

[invert_nexus]

(I'm working on it, I can't quite bring myself to the conclusion yet though. Maybe later tonight. I think it might involve hang-gliders...)

[Dreamwalker]

OK then, let´s head back to town. No sense in sitting around here.

[invert_nexus]

You could always capture a fine female elephant on your own. :D We do have a contract after all.

And it would be nice for Flossie to have a mate in case I lose and you all end up as slaves. Although, I guess Flossie might count as a "friend" and end up as a slave as well.

[Dreamwalker]

Ooops, nearly forgot. Well, then I´ll do that. Kunax you can go ahead to the
village. Should not take too long to catch an elephant. Just have to think of
a cool way to do it. Will write it later.

[Kunax]

We exited the forest just in time to see Sexy Blue throw herself off the roof on Nexus house, she did manage a short fleight just long enought to come out to the middle of the lake, where she chrashed landed.

Rushing to help, we barely made it to the lake before Sexy BLue was back on the surface swimming for shore, apparently she was use to this style of landing, and was very well capable of helping her self, all DreamWalker could do to help was help carry the wet glider our of the lake(heh tiger cannot help, not hands).
Once everybody was back on dry land dreamwalker informemed SexyBlue of what had happend in the forest a few hours earlier.

...does Sexy Blue know what to do, will Nexus ever be save.
Stay tune for more SciVillage comming soon to a forum near you.

(damn some many post so fast)

[Dreamwalker]

Ok, I helped SexyBlue, but I still have to go back into the forrest to get an elephant. So excuse me...

[My Sexy Blue Feet]

Oh, you guys are sweet. Thanks.
I knew there was something about that cloud that didn't add up.
Suddenly, i can hear a pounding of the ground. It felt like an earth-quake, but worse. Then Dreamwalker and Kunax ran past, pointing and screaming. A cloud of dust was forming in the distance, and a grey mass was running our way.

How on earth did they manage to get a mass of elephants stampeding through town? :confused: :eek: I knew they were after one, but an entire herd....eh?

This has got to have something to do with inv. What's he doing up there, elephant racing or someting?

[invert_nexus]

(Ok, I still haven't had any good ideas, so I'll just start writing and get it over with.)

Where were we? Oh yes. "To the game."

The gleeful chattering of the host fell silent. An ominous silence. An eerie silence. Not a sound was to be heard. Even the whipping of the wind had quieted. I waited for something to happen. Nothing. Silence.

I looked about. All was calm, as though frozen in time. Nothing moved. Nothing spoke.

"Wha-" I began. Suddenly, a conflagration erupted from within the cloud. A furious beating of wings. A flock of birds of every description. I felt myself lifted in the air in the midst of this swarm. The heat of their bodies enveloped me and I broke into a sweat. Now, I could see nothing but feathers and beaks.

"exfoliance transdermance..." A faint chant seemed to be emerging from the patterns of wings beating, hearts beating, lungs breathing. A strange sense washed over me. An itching and a stretching sensation covered my skin. My heart began to beat faster and faster. A strange blurry spot began to form in the center of my field of vision. Pain washed over me and I convulsed frantically. Flailing my arms wildly, I tried to push away the flock of birds, to free myself from this prison in which I found myself.

Suddenly, the flock dissipated and I found myself hanging in the air miles above the ground. Uh oh, I thought as I began to tumble through the air. "What kind of game is this!" I cried, "What are the rules? See who hits the ground first?" Or rather, I tried to say. What came out was a strange series of warbles and squeaks. What? What is happening? I tried to get a good look at myself, but the blurry spot in the center of my vision kept confounding me. The only way that I could see myself was through peripheral vision. And what I saw was not good. A mass of feathers that fluttered in the wind of my fall. A bird? Is that it? I desperately struggled to flap my arms and to get the hang of flying. After a short while, I found that I was becoming passably good at swooping and diving. I learned how to stretch my fingers apart to get lift. Yeah, this wasn't so bad.

I scanned the sky trying to find any sign of my captor. Suddenly, I saw him inches in front of me. I put on the brakes to avoid a collision and ended up stalling out and plummeting towards the earth once more. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw my captor once more, only now he was a mere speck in the sky. Some distance away. I turned to look at him as I regained control of my flight and as the speck entered the center of my vision it suddenly loomed large as though it were quite close. Ahh, I get it. Telescopic vision. Must be a bird of prey. An eagle or a falcon maybe. I flew towards him.

As I neared, he underwent a transformation that made my mind reel to watch. Man to bird in 30 seconds. I wonder if that's what I looked like when it happened.

Actually, I've been doing this my entire existence. I've got the knack down. You on the other hand came very close to dying. You don't know how much trouble I had to go to save you.

Ok, what's the deal here? Whoever get's the fattest rabbit wins?

Oh no, no. Nothing that simple, my boy. Look down at your village boy. Tell me what you see.

I look down and see to my horror that Scivillage is in danger of being overrun by a wild stampede of elephants. I squawked in indignation. Blue, I've got to save her!!

Yes, my boy. That's it. Save her. I on the other hand...

A sharp pain tore through my side. AArrgh! You traitorous bastard!! What are you doing? I turned to strike back at my tormentor, but he was already flying away with a beakful of feathers. Squawk!! I tried to follow, but I found myself falling. I flapped my wings harder, but barely managed to slow my descent. Bastard clipped my wings! Oh well, I have to save the babe not waste time chasing an old fart.

I nose down and start a dive towards the mayhem occurring in the village. I only hoped I would be able to slow my descent once I got close to the ground. And, I should probably try to come up with a plan of action. What the hell am I supposed to do against a herd of elephants?


(There, now I'm enmeshed once more in the affairs of the village and I can work it out as I go. I really don't read enough elf literature to play this by the book. All I could think of was bowling. :p I probably should have thought of that before I started...)

[My Sexy Blue Feet]

(Elf bowling is sweet)

I ran towards Inv's place, where i still got the other glider set up, plus my bag. Trying to shimmy up the rocks was aquarard, but finally i managed to make it. The elephants were slowing down, with the whole traffic jam effect happening. And, as with traffic jams, they were all pissed off. They had already ran threw the barbar's shop, which explains why he's hanging onto the tusks of one of them for dear life.

Now that i'm up here, I'm not so sure gliding out off the balcony would be the best solution. There's nowhere really to go. I mean, nowhere that is stratigically better than here. Alain just came running out of his half-built bar, straight for the pond. I rummaged through my trusty backpack and found a length of rope that i threw down to Alian. However, this rummaging also found me my spare bottle of bubble bath. mmmmmmmmm...........

[alain]

man this village is wacked, after being saved from a deadly tusking by a herd of elephants, i started thinking about how we could get away from the herd. Maybe if i created a paper mache female elephant (again) it would distract the elephants and allow us to get out

[My Sexy Blue Feet]

one paper mache elephant entertain this mob?

[alain]

good point, maybe i should make a herd of them

[Kunax]

I think elephants in herds tend to be female or minors, so unless they are lesbians... :)

while the elephants seem more interested in finding a way up to Nexus, I make an attempt to swim to the far side of the lake, submarine (http://www.aub.dk/~maddog/tiger5.jpg) style.

But where did Dreamwalker go, he disappear in the confusion, I turning around to look back but he is no where to be seen, just then a bird makes what must be the worst landing ever in bird history, Right on the top of the matriarch elephant.
Watching the bird jump around on the Elephant, I get a little jealous, am I no longer top predator. If the elephants had not been there I show the bird who's king of the forest.

[invert_nexus]

Squawk!! I draw near to the ground. I desperately try to halt my descent. Although I did manage to slow myself enough to save myself from broken bones, I'd never landed before and found that there was more to it than I thought. I shook my head and tried to get my bearings. Damn this telescopic vision!! It's so hard to try to see everything up close out of the corner of your eye... Soon, I realized that my birdy instincts had homed right in on the matriarch of the herd. I started pecking and clawing and biting as ferociously as I was able. Too bad the matriarch just thought I was the local cleanup bird. She barely even noticed me. The only notice she gave me was to nudge her ear to the side that I might see the huge tick behind her ear.

Hmm, that tick looks kinda tastey. Squawk!! Big, fat, full of blood. *drool*


(Edit: Nice pic, Kunax. Tigers are awesome creatures.)

[Dreamwalker]

(Where did I go? I´ll show you)

Oh great, an elephant stampede right through the village.
I start running straight at advancing elephants, there was no other place to run to. Before I reached the herd, I saw a bird land on one of the elephants. Now that is unusual. Anyway, as the herd drew closer, I launched myself up onto the head of a smaller elephant and start to jump on some bigger ones...perhaps if I can gain cotrol of the matriarch I can lead the herd away...

[My Sexy Blue Feet]

Talk about Mayhem!!!

Unhooking the glider, i attach myself, as well as a length of rope and a flickblade and take a jump off nex's balcony, gliding over to Dreamwalker.
"hey, take this!!" i said, as i threw the rope and knife down to him. I flew a bit lower to check out this bird attacking the head elephant's ear. What da?
Argh, as i was too low to reach the balcony, i flew over the pond and released my harness as to fall into the pond.

EEIIIWWW, wet tiger......yuk, now i smell like wet cat.

[invert_nexus]

After wolfing down the tick, I shake my head furiously. I'm not sure if it's disgust over what I'd just done or in pleasure of the juicy, succulence of that fat tasty tick. Almost as good as a rabbit would be right about now...

Argh! Get ahold of youself, man! I look around trying to figure out something I might do to stop these elephants from rampaging. A shadow passes overhead, It's blue! She finally got that thing flying! I bet I could show her a thing or two about flying once this thing is over. I watch her as she flies over the pond and drops from her harness. I see the hang-glider continue to flow after she's gone. Instead of crashing, it continues in it's flight. It appears as though it were being piloted somehow.

Wait!! Is that a flash of silver? I quickly focus on the flash. Yes, it's him! What's he doing over there? I see the old man/bird perching upon the spire of the old haunted amusement park (anyone remember that? It's from the WellCookedFetus incident. :D) I suddenly realized that this was all a diversion. I couldn't stop these elephants, I'm just a bird. He is the real contest. I have to stop him. I try to fly over, but with my clipped wings, I can barely stay above the level of the elephants and flutter from the back of one to another. Damnit!! I'll never be able to reach the spire! (which happens to be a couple hundred feet high or so... sounds good) What the hell am I supposed to do? The attack upon my flight feathers earlier makes far more sense now. He turned me into a bird, but removed the ability that I required to defeat him.

I look to find the hang glider. I see it still sailing about as though controlled somehow. What is controlling that thing? Did Sexy Blue install a remote control guidance system or is the old man controlling it? I make my way towards the pond where I see Sexy Blue treading water.

I land on the sun-baking rock and start a raucus squawking. She looks confused as well she might. Apparently the babel fish isn't working for some reason. Probably that devilish old man's magic again.

Suddenly, Kunax (who I hadn't seen) lunged out of the water at me. My birdy reflexes launched me out of harm's way, but not before another vicious pain swept through me. I tried looking to see how bad I was wounded, but once more that damned telescopic vision foiled my attempts. I could clearly see blood dripping from me. How much blood does an eagle have? I wonder dazedly.

There is a roar as Kunax smells the blood and knows that my goose is cooked. He can see that I can't fly away and is taking his brutal time about it. Stalking me. Playing with me. Squawk!!!

I flap my wings uselessly, but all that does is cause even more blood to flow from my side. I am too weak to flutter far. I find myself in a field of colorful flowers. Blood on the daisy, blood on the iris. I'm going to die and they're going to end up as slaves to that monster! I see a crysanthemum out of the corner of my eye. That was the flower I gathered for Blue that morning. It was always my favorite flower. Weakly, I grasp the stem with my beak and snap it from it's roots. Blue...

[My Sexy Blue Feet]

(Hey, i could be wrong, maybe romance isn't dead)

I shue kunax away, there's this feeling that this bird is on the same radiowaves as me or something. I dunno, probably the sunbathing getting to me. Still, i wash the blood and hold him. It. Him.

Damn sun.

Another crazy looking bird? Where on earth did that amusement park come from? What da?. Where's that remote???

In the backpack.

On Nex's balcony.



"ALAIN"

He sticks his head out "Yeah?"
"Get my backpack, front pocket, throw it here." Okay, we're going from elephant stampedes to hang-gliding birds, and I WANT SOME ANSWERS. Or blood. Either will suffice.

[invert_nexus]

(No no no. The other bird is perched on the spire of the old haunted amusement park on the far side of town. Full of spooooky ghosts.... I suppose maybe he had another bird controlling the glider though. ;) )

[invert_nexus]

After Blue rescued me from Kunax and cleaned me up some, she took off. She looked like she was chasing something. What was it? I turned my telescopic vision towards it. It's... a bird? NO! It's one of those creatures from the cloud. One of the particularly nasty ones with pointy teeth and leering eyes. The bird form is an illusion. Squawk!!!

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Kunax looking at me preparing to strike. SQUAWK!!!

[My Sexy Blue Feet]

K, fixed it now.

Running to the amusement park, i heard squawking behind me. Turning, i saw Kunax, about to pounce on Inv.

The bird's Inv. Why did i miss this before???

The tiger, the amusement park, Inv.....what first?????????? Throwing the remote back to Alain (he can handle it) i ran back to save Inv.

"NO KUNAX!, BAD .....TIGER!"

[alain]

not sure entirely what to do with the remote control, , but i still manage to get the hang glider up into the air. i bring it back up to the balcony and look around, trying to find where the bird has gone. It is nowhere to be seen. i take to the sky in the hang glider and search for it. i decide that this isnt going to work and try a different tactic. i land where a subdued kunax lies. through speech and ridiculous pantomime i get across the point to him that i need him to catch and kill a mouse or rabbit for me. He disapears and comes back soon later with a dead rabbit hanging from his jaws. i grab it from him quickly and spend the next minute running away from a very angry tiger. i eventually reach nex's house, i climb upstairs and launch myself off the balcony again, i am gliding around the village with a dead rabbit in my hands. It works, the bird comes out of his hiding spot in the shade of a house and swoops at me.

obviously, i hadn't planned far ahead. i jump out of the hang glider and land on the ground. the parachute continues its flight and hits into the bird, maybe i can claim i amied it for him.... the bird is dazed, but still comes for me. i throw the rabbit into an open window and the bird flies in. i shut the window - hopefully the bird is trapped inside the building

[Dreamwalker]

I finally managed to get on the back of the matriarch elephant. You get a nice view from up here. But I wonder why the others are running around with the hang glider. Anyway, time to try if I can ride and elephant. I take the rope SexyBlue threw me and manage to get it in under the tusks of the elephant. I grab both ends and pull real hard on them. The animal doesn´t like that, but she gets slower. After some pulling, I manage to get her pointed away from the village. Now I just have to make her stop sometime.

[Bruce Wayne]

Why do you have to make it stop??

[Dreamwalker]

Because Invert Nexus want a female elephant. :D

[Kunax]

Slowly chasing alain around, enjoy and prolonging the hunt before the kill, we reach Nexus house where alain manages to shut him self in before i reach him. Minor set back I think to my self, as I watch him true a window, his trapping on the glider.
Minor set back but not a problem, I grab the door handle in my mouth, turn my head left, the right, nothing happened, I try pulling back and rips the handle clean off.
Choking on the handle I start coughing badly while struggling to get air, finally the handle dislodges it self and out it comes.
Looking back at the door, it's now missing its handle, guess i have to find another way in, those panorama(floor to ceiling sized windows) windows looks like a good alternative.

Inside, alain is out on the balcony getting ready to jump. I crash true the windows and 2 long jump later, I'm almost there, then alain jumps, I follow right behind, to late remembering where i am, for a split second i hang in mid air, then gravity kicks in and with a big splash I land in the pool.



Everybody is to busy to remember Nexus, who's been left alone at the sun bathing rock, there he rests with his back towards the rock blocking his view, he does not see me coming before its to late.

Nexus tries an escape, but with his wings clipped, it is of no use and with a little puff of a paw he tumbles to the ground. This time there is no Sexy Blue, with her special “shue”hehe, if I'm ever confronted by a big cat, i have to remember I just have to shue it. lol teknik to save Nexus. He feigns his dead in an attempt to make me lose interest, but that's not how it works.
Disappointed in my pray already being dead, I poke him a little, the some more, I sniff Nexus when he suddenly comes to live and bites me in the nose, I Jump back with a moan of pain, Nexus returns to playing dead.

Returning with a bloody nose i poking Nexus again he does not move this time, so I grab him with both in my paws and start licking, soon the feather a coming of in droves and with each breath i take a puff of feather comes out, much to my amusement.

(Nexus, disregard last part if its does not fit. I just thought we need more naked birds, hmm and i guess later balled man perhaps :))

[invert_nexus]

Oh the indignity. At least my flesh is tough and it's not being ripped from the bones along with the feathers. I let loose with a might SQUAWK!!!! and go kung fu on his ass. I took a little Akkido in my day and have the submission holds down rather well. Even though I have no hands, my clawed feet work just fine. Once I have him pinned, I apply pressure to his carotid artery until he passes out. Hah! That was easy. Just then, I notice that the elephant rampage has changed course and his heading this way. Squawk! With Kunax unconscious, there's no way he can save himself from certain doom. I grab his tail by the beak and begin to tug. A tiger is a heavy beast; but with the strength of desperation, I pull him out of the path of destruction.

I notice Dreamwalker riding the matriarch, desperately trying to gain control. The beast seems crazed as though it were enchanted though. Otherwise, Dreamwalker's skill would most likely have mastered the beast in an instant.

The glint of silver flashes once more in the sky. I turn and see the old man/bird settling once more upon his perch at the haunted amusement park. The hang-glider swoops by and I jump onto it's back. It flies around haphazardly, obviously whoevers in control of this thing doesn't know what they're doing. Damn! I'm never going to get there at this rate!

[Kunax]

(lol, badass bird, must be the sylvan magic)

[invert_nexus]

(The baddest bird you'll ever see. ;) :D I had originally considered playing a trick of scale and make myself the size of a house or something. Come swooping in and pick the elephant up and fly away. But I decided that was too easy. If you hadn't brought me into the story as a regular sized bird, I probably would have gone that way.)

(I thought the image of an eagle putting a submission hold on a fully grown tiger to be somewhat amusing. :D)

[spuriousmonkey]

I had a glass of scirum. Thought I heard an elephant in the distance. Must be going mad. More mad than normal. Will see if there is tea at swedishfish's place.

[My Sexy Blue Feet]

Lol, you guys crack me up...
Oi, bruce, quick rerun, there's a evil bird, a good guy that got turned into a brid, and we're fighting the elephants so that we don't end up as servants to the bad guy, who is the bad bird. And Inv wants a female elephant as a companian to his elevator.

Wow. This is heavy. Inv just kicked Kunax's furry butt (i always wanted to say that), chicken leg style. Helping Alian up, i took the remote off him, and flew the glider towards the amusement park. As it glides over the fence, i loose total control, and it lands itself in front of the evil feathered guy. Suddenly, I hear a voice completely invading my head, all of us, from what i can tell.
"Mmah hah haah.....Surviving the elepants was only the first part of the game. Get ready for round two......"

[ElectricFetus]

shut up!

I am trying to sleep down here! *no one hears screams from abandon well*

[My Sexy Blue Feet]

Abandon well?
How long have you been there?

[ElectricFetus]

Since page 11. On page 12-13 I came up to kill because the town's septic system failed and filled my well with shit. Then I got Proud Muslim to re-route the septic system by making him into a human sewage pump. After that I tried to sleep and I got in the face of anyone that woke me up again.

Running of I returned to the forests to find that Proud_Muslim finally shoveled the shit out of my home, telling him he missed a spot and to clean it bitch, Proud_Muslim got right on it like a stupid ass. After his job was completed I shoved him between the broken sewage pipe that runs through the bottom of the well so that he re-routes the scum back through the pipes by using his own GI track as the replacement pluming. Its actually a very interesting sight seeing him with a pipe up his butt and another coming out of his mouth and him sucking like a stupid fish, watching him is like watching a fire… a fire that makes farting diarrhea sounds. To keep him sucking all I need to do is keep a computer modified picture of Arafat smacking Sharon upside the head in front of PM's face. With home repaired the evil that is I now slumbers.

[My Sexy Blue Feet]

Kewl. I had wondered what had happened to Proud Muslim

[invert_nexus]

Can I be the “Insane homicidal village inbreed mutant”? You know like the guy in the Texas Chainsaw Massacre movie only worse.

“On this day many in the village wake up to the sound of a chainsaw and inhuman chuckling, with horror they relies that the vile tiny beast has finally escaped from the old well out by the condemned satanic worshiping center.”

Ah, I guess I misremembered the story, it was a condemned satanic worshipping center rather than the old, haunted amusement park. Must be too much Scooby Doo. :p I guess the Satanic worshipping center is just an attraction in the old, haunted amusement park.

"Step right up and SEE the AMAZING HUMAN SEWAGE PUMP!! MARVEL at it's GROTESQUERY, ladies and gentleman. WITNESS the MARVEL of the modern age that is displayed by this lively FETUS. You, Sir!! Wouldn't you like to see a WellCookedFetus that WALKS, TALKS, it even comes up with technological innovation!! Ladies and Gentlemen, SEE the AMAZING HORROR that DWELLS within this HAUNTED spectacle."

:D

I shake my head and try to get a grip on my surroundings. I have found myself in a horrible landscape of leering buildings and shady attractions. The sun is obscured by the clouds that perpetually cover this place. I don't know if my presence has started the ghostly barkers barking or if they have barked since their grisly deaths so long ago, but now all around me a ghostly chorus begins to cry out. "Try your luck!", "SEE the FREAK SHOW!", "Step right up!".

The horror of it all threatens to push me into the bliss of unconsciousness, but I struggle to remain alert. The loudest of the barkers stands beside a darkened well that yawns into the depths of the earth. From within come the most disgusting sounds of biological processes going along their busy way. From the depths of the pit comes a raw, throaty cry, "SHUT UP!!!" The barker ignores this voice and continues it's presentation.

I turn my attention from this grisly display and look about to see where the old man's perch was. I realized that I had landed directly in front of the spire. I also realized that a crucial part of my plan had involved scirum and I had completely forgotten to acquire some before jumping on the hang-glider. Shit!! Now what am I going to do?

From the well, "I SAID SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU LOUSY PIECE OF SHIT MEMORY OF A USELESS PAST!!! DON'T MAKE ME COME UP THERE AND SHOW YOU THAT GHOST'S CAN STILL FEEL PAIN IF YOU'RE IMAGINATIVE ENOUGH!!! Shit, haven't had any fun since rearranging this piece of shit's gastrointestinal tract. HERE I COME!!" The sound of someone being kicked accents the gastrointestinal tract statement, then the sound of something rising, clawing and scraping, from the well begins to echo through the dismal landscape. I see a clawed monstrosity of a hand grip the side of the well and begin to pull it's way forth. A hideous face follows, all teeth and boils.

Uh oh!

[lixluke]

It's COOL SKILL!
He's alive. And he's been mutated.
"what happen" "someone set us up the bomb"

[ElectricFetus]

Don't piss me off bitch. http://www.world-of-smilies.de/html/images/smilies/ugly/ugly30.gif If you make a side show out of my well, I need 60% up front!

[Dreamwalker]

Cool Skill is back? Unbelievable. No need to get militant http://www.world-of-smilies.de/html/images/smilies/schilder/00000678.gif

[invert_nexus]

Cool Skill... Damn, thought you were dead guy. Last we say you, you were being fed upon by that strange electric plant you had released. Don't worry, we solved that issue but never went back into the cave to see what became of you... JadedFlower set up a home in the cave. Maybe she knows.

[Dreamwalker]

Is jaded perhaps a necrophiliac?

[invert_nexus]

She seemed to have a fish fetish while in this village. She smacked me with a few fish in her fish flinging craze...

[Dreamwalker]

She threw me one because I crawled around in the gutter, half starved...

[invert_nexus]

The strangely mutated fetus pulled himself from the old abandoned well. He looked surprised to see a living being in the old, haunted amusement park. A bloodcurdling snarl erupted from the toothy moirass of his face. "I'm gonna kill yew, boy. Heh heh. What do your intestines look like?" He began to walk ominously towards me. (Strangely, WCF seemed to see through my bird form.)

Just then, another strangely mutated form arrived on the scene. "what happen" it said juicily, "someone set us up the bomb..."

WCF seemed even more annoyed by the presence of this fellow mutant than a healthy living being. "I'll show you bomb, you pile of sewage!" He lunged at cool skill and the battle was joined. Great was the struggle. Furious was the frenzy with which they tore at each other. Blood and bile flew about like rain on an autumn morn.

I decided that this was a good time to exit stage up. I had no scirum, but I would have to hope that providence would provide inspiration once I had attained the summit of the spire.

I, a plucked eagle, began to crawl up the side of the twisted spire.

[spuriousmonkey]

Lots of violent things happening lately in scivillage. Luckily I am the outcast and do not have to deal with that kind of behaviour. I just stay around my hut and drink scirum, occasionally visiting swedishfish for some tea.

[invert_nexus]

I have struggled to climb this spire for what seems like days. At last, I see my goal nearing. Above me perches the old man/bird. He's squawking and crowing and looking rather self-satisfied with this chaos that he has created. I grab him with my beak and begin to struggle. Stop this madness! Your games are cruel and unnecessary!

I cannot stop what I have not begun, little one. These events are solely your doing and none of my mine. And behold the consequences of your actions. Your friends will be mine. There is nothing that you can do to stop it from happening. BEHOLD!

With that, he grasped me with his claws and flew towards the village where I could see the havoc that continued unabated. The elephants could not be subdued by any force of man. Blue was struggling to stay above the moirass, Dreamwalker struggled in vain to subdue the matriarch, Alain was desperately trying to repel the elephants from Kunax's comatose form. (Sorry, Kunax. Didn't mean to offend you by knocking you unconscious. :p Akkido is a devastating martial art. Have you ever seen it in action?) The village was in emminent danger of being overwhelmed. I could see that the trees about the village were full of sylvan folk who cheered and jeered as the chaos continued.

Stop this!! I demand once more.

I can stop nothing, only you can stop it. For it is you who have created this play.

Suddenly, a lightning flash of inspiration struck me. I knew what it was that I must do. It was there the whole time, I just refused to see. There was only one way to save my friends, only one way to stop this madness.

Then, I shall stop it. For, although I have been imprisoned with this frail form, I am a man! I savagely bit at my captors feet. Struggling to release his grip. I began to feel a strange shifting about my form. As his grip relaxed and I began to fall, I felt myself become a man once more.

What are you doing? You cannot do this! You cannot allow yourself to end this way!

"I am a man and I decide my own fate! You cannot claim your wager if I no longer exist. They are my friends and if I die then they become my mourners! Foul demon! I deny you!!"

I plummeted towards the earth, gaining speed each instant. As the ground rushed towards me, I clearly saw that the sylvan host had ceased their jeering. I saw that the elephants had ceased their rampage. I saw that my friends were allowed a respite in their struggles. All looked up towards me as I fell. All had a look of shock burned upon their faces. I fell. As a star falling from heaven I fell. The ground drawing closer, ever closer.

Nooooooooo!!, cried the old man bereft of his prize.

"I'm sorry, Blue..." I whispered in that last instant before the ground grasped me. A sickening feeling of breaking overwhelmed my senses. My vision became red. My vision became black. My vision became blue...


A hush has fallen over the village. All in the village gather around the mangled form of Nexus as it lies twisted and bloody upon the ground. Strangely, there seems to be a smile upon his face. He gurgles as he struggles to breathe, as his body refuses to allow the end to overtake him. Blue cries hysterically, "No, no, no, no." As she draws close to his crushed form, she realizes that he is trying to speak... "bluue...."

[Dreamwalker]

I climb down from the matriarch elephant and run over to Invert Nexus...he surely seems dead. Why? Where did he come from, falling from the heavens to get smashed on the earth?
This is strange... and when he died, all of a sudden this chaos has ended. What is the meaning of this? Something must have happened while he got lost in the woods.
I will know what happened...I will go back into the jungle...

[Kunax]

(no offence taken, thou a bit weird in my book, but don't let that hold you back)

The old man watch Nexus fall from the sky, making a dent in the ground where he landed, as he looks on he think to him self, Humans, so self destructive, all i wanted was some of that scirum they all been drinking.

Just before landing the old man shifts into a human form, but no one noticed, as he had some how frozen time, leaving only him and Nexus unaffected.

The Old man standing next to Nexus broke body:
Mortal what foolish stunts you made, look what you have done to yourself.
Nexus only reply was a gurgling sound as he struggling for breath.
Mortal, don't you know its not your time to die.
Nexus was losing consciousness, the last thing he saw before going under, was the old man healing his body, then walking away towards the tiger.


I jump to my feet, sensing Bossman(the old man, if he is a spirit of the forest, that would kind of make him my boss) approach, did i do well bossman?, yes, little kitten, you did very well, ...I'm not a kitten, yes you are, no, yes, no, yes.

He jumps up on my back, tugging his legs in so they don't hit the ground, and with that we start walking toward the forest. Bossman, I'm not a horse you know, yes you are, am not, are to, no,yes, no, I could make you in to one, with that being said, we increase the phase to a slow run and disappear in to the jungle.

[Dreamwalker]

I notice that Kunax is behaving strange...is there something I am not aware of?
I look around...there is something...someone close to nexus. It has the outlines of a person, and it moves a bit towards Kunax, they seem to be communicating. Strange, everybody else is oblivious to the person. But animals seem to be able to see it. As I look at the old man longer, his presence becomes even more obvious...is he of the forest spirits? I was able to pereive them once, but I must have been under humans too long...

Things become clearer, now I can imagine what has happened here. Also, it looks like Invert is still alive...

This village is quite interesting...

[Nuttyfish]

HOLY SHIT! Communist Hamster expects me to read 35 pages of this? How the fuck do I do that?

P.S When I do read this, can I be the resident fish?

[Communist Hamster]

Communist hamster woke up after a nice long sleep in ozymandiases house. Looking around him he realizes that ozy is probably dead, considering the state of the house. Woohoo! gripped with elation, he realizes he has taken the role of village communist! Unfortunately, being a hamster, this was going to be difficult. He ran out of his cage, towards the tv tree (anyone remember that?) to see if there was anything worth watching.

[Dreamwalker]

HOLY SHIT! Communist Hamster expects me to read 35 pages of this? How the fuck do I do that?

P.S When I do read this, can I be the resident fish?

I don´t think that you have to read all of it. Just settle down in the nearby pond in which all the squids are hanging out. I suppose that you will fit in quite fast without reading the whole history of Scivillage.

[ElectricFetus]

*Crawls back in hole*

I got it: you guys better shut up or I’ll get Proud Muslim the pump sewage in reverse and fill your houses with your own excrement.

[Dreamwalker]

Mmm, my makeshift hut is not connected to the sewage system, so I don´t care about that. :p

[Communist Hamster]

meanwhile, the comham was gnawing at the stalk of a tv that was growing on the tv tree. it fell off. with considerable difficulty, the comham put the tv in his cheek pouch, which was difficult because the tv was about 50 times bigger than him. he waddled off to the farm, to see if there was anywhere he could plug it in.

[invert_nexus]

(How dare you bring me back to life so blithely... :p I didn't even have a decent funeral, a soulful eulogy, a wonderful monument to my greatness... I was also imagining the possibilities of fighting my way up from hell to be once more with my darling Blue. ;) Ah well, of such things Scivillage is made. I am disappointed that Sexy Blue didn't post after my demise. Did my brief foray into a faerie wonderland drive her away? :()

(Oh, and as to a bird of prey so easily dealing with a full-grown tiger being weird. That was the point. I still get a chuckle envisioning it. Did you know that there is an akkido technique called the eagle's claw? It is reaching up under someone's rib cage and grasping their ribs. It is extremely painful, I assure you. Akkido is the martial art to learn if you want to make someone look like a bitch. It is all about submission holds and pressure points. I had a video of little old man, about 4 feet tall, being attacked by student after student. Each student was dealt with quickly and easily. Each student was made to look the bitch. Submission holds can be devastating to one's morale.

I did have a thought as to how to deal with the tiger in another way, choking on my feathers (perhaps that was your original intent) but, alas I didn't conceive of it until just yesterday. A day late and a dollar short as they say.)

[Kunax]

("How dare you bring me back to life so blithely..." lol my first thougth making it was actually his escaping to death that easly, hell no. then the last part with me and bossman came on.)

(The endings of my crappy parts are often open, what way people chooses to close them is up to them, your way just made a responce difficult for me, so i ended up taking the easyway out, no reply :(.
The ending where Bossman heals you is also semi open. Does he heal you fully?, Do you go into shock/coma?, I left you unconsious.)

(The reason the bird thing was wierd, is because I think im trying to maintain a few remaning links to reality regarding my tiger, hmm I do this in a fantasy thread without rules, go figur. I can see why its funny for you, Comham moving things in his mouth is funny for me to.)

[Communist Hamster]

Upon reaching the farm, i plugged the tv in, but to my horror the only thing on was JML TV! AAAARRRGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!! Quickly thinking, I grabbed the farmers gun and blew the tv to bits, otherwise jml tv would have caused a temporal warp in the space time continuum. Phew, i thought, good thing nobody else is going to get a tv from the tree and plug it in, for a party or something. that would be disastrous. anything could happen

[invert_nexus]

I open my eyes blearily. All is quiet except for the agonized cries of a crazed hamster from far away. Where is everybody? Am I dead? Is this the spirit world?

I find the organ grinder by my side. Hmm. I pick it up and experimentally start to crank the handle. From the sky descends my new servant. Dancing. Dancing.

[Dreamwalker]

Do you still need and elephant? Just asking, cause the matriarch elephant is just where I bound her. Decide, before the elephant brakes loose and I have to go hunt her again. :)

[invert_nexus]

Ahh, Dreamwalker snaps me from my reverie. The dancing of my servant is really quite captivating. I guess the village isn't completely abandoned after all.

"Of course, assuming that Flossie hasn't run off with the herd. And I'll get started on your house right away. Thank you sir."

[Ozymandias]

"this still lives?" mutters the specter of ozymandias.

[Dreamwalker]

I run to the still present elephant herd and grab the rope I have put around the matriarch, this is a fine animal. But everytime I try to lead it away, the rest of the animals follow...that´s not good. Looks like I have to get another one. I do not think that I can convince the matriarch to give up her position. I look at the other elephants and find a female that is nearly as big as the lead animal. I put a rope around her and try to lead her away, after a few moments she follows me... and the matriarch seems to accept it. I tell her to leave, and after a few moments she does. The matriarch and the rest of the herd walk back into the jungle from where they came, and I stay behind with the newly aquired elephant. Time to head back to Invert Nexus.

[invert_nexus]

(Good call... If I had to feed the whole herd, I'd never get any work done... :p)

After my conversation with Dreamwalker, I head home to see if Flossie is still around my servant in tow. Yup, Flossie's still there. Looks like he was sleeping the whole time. I breathe a sigh of relief and run my hands through my glorious mane of long luxuriant hair... What?! Bald? "Aaargghhhhhh!!!!!!!! KUNAX!!!!!!!!!" My cry resounds throughout the pleasant sleepy valley.

I noticed that the town, while it survived the assault, has been greatly damaged. I'm going to be busy repairing structures. Gratis, of course, since it was my fault. But, that can wait til the morrow. I've had a tough day, and I could use some rest.

I feed Flossie and head upstairs. Luckily, my house being built 30 feet up on a cliff, it sustained absolutely no damage from the elephant attacks. Funny how things work out. :D

When I open the door, I see Sexy Blue lying in a heap on the floor. A bottle of sleeping tablets by her outstretched hand. She looks as though she's been crying. "Blue!!" I cry as I run towards her. "No! Blue! Wake up!" I shake her and try to walk her about the room, but it's no use, she's in a coma. I can't wake her. Despondent, I place her in my bed and try to make her comfortable. How could this have come to pass? I ask myself, Why?!

(By the way, I got a note from Blue that she may not be around for a bit, so I thought this might be a nice dramatic way to work it in. She can awaken whenever she likes, and until then, I will care for her as dotingly as I am able. I briefly considered having her dead and going to hell to fetch her back. But, sounds like too much trouble after all we've been through.)

I set up a makeshift bed on the floor and start to drift into sleep. Just as I am about to go under, I hear a deep bass rumble and odd, juicy sounds. I go out to the balcony to see what the hell's happening now. I see that Dreamwalker has brought a foxy elephant maid for Flossie and Flossie is busily working out his libido. Awww, he looks so happy...

Dreamwalker sees me leaning over the balcony and gives me a big thumbs up and a huge grin. "Thanks, Dreamwalker! I'll start working on the plans for your house tomorrow." I didn't have the heart or the strength to tell him of Blue's condition. I'll fill him in tomorrow. First, I have to get some sleep.

[invert_nexus]

Morning... Golden light filters in from outside... I think it's going to be a beautiful day... I rise and see Blue lying peacefully in my bed. Argh, I had almost forgotten about the tragedy... I clean her up and change the sheets. Poor girl... I mash up some bananas and carrots and try to feed her. I have to rub her throat to induce the swallowing reflex. I carry her out to her favorite rock so she might get some sun. I command my servant to care for her. To make sure that nothing harms her. And to roll her over every now and again so she will tan evenly.

After I finish this, I go to check on my elephants. Flossie is curled up with his new girlfriend in a loving embrace, a satisfied look on his face. I gather some food for them and place it nearby for when they wake up from their lovers' sleep.

Next, I go gather materials to construct a wheelchair for blue. This way I won't have to lug her about in an unladylike fashion. Next, I go into the forest to try to find a rubber tree. I have a feeling rubber sheets might be in order. I'm not medically trained and won't even consider a catheter tube or a colostomy bag. It's a good thing I've got my ape-man servant. I will preserve her dignity by training my servant to care for her. Or maybe I'll take back my robot from Spurious (seeing as how he's out of town for a bit) and train him to do it. Yeah, that'd probably be better. I doubt if she'd want an ape-man anywhere near her privates. :p

After all this, I sit down besider her with my sketch pad in hand. I try to lose the sense of tragedy that pervades me by losing myself in designing a wonderful house for Dreamwalker.

[Communist Hamster]

Still in shock from my ordeal at the farm, I hamstered my way towards the town, and wandered into a hut. There I found a man with a sketchpad, lost in his drawing. He didn't notice me. On the bed next to him, there was a woman with attractive feet I dont know why i found them attractive, they weren't furry, just blue. I climbed onto the bed, and feeling tired from my walk from the farm, I curled up on the womans slowly rising and falling chest and fell asleep.

[certified psycho]

The Town barber is out sick. Somebody send me a damn doctor!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Kunax]

Deep within the forest, I had for several days been taking letters back and forth between Bossman and his girlfriend, A trip that usually should take no more then 4 hours back and forth(on foot), but there was so much to do and see along the way, that it always took me about a day, if not longer.
This soon had become to much for Bossman, so he tried to make me take a more direct routea and when that had faileded, Bossman had found a better cuirre, releasing me of my "job".

Returning to the village, walking around in the forest edge, i spotted the girl with the strangly attractive feet, being pushed around in a wheel chair by a monkey, in her lap she had a hamster with redish fur, all in all a normal day in the village.

[My Sexy Blue Feet]

You males ...argh....i dunno where even to start.....

I wake up on my favourite rock, which is not unusual. The unusual bit was that it wasn't attached to the pond. Mmmmm.......

I sit up suddenly, and wish i hadn't. Oh, head... Robot passed me a glass of water, which helped, and after a few minutes, i could walk around. All had come back to me, and it looks from here that all of scivillage is opperating well. I take that as a sign that all is well, and the bad guy got squished. Groovy.....

Deciding i need a holiday from paradise, i return to my hut and pack. I leave a note on my door for all to see, then i slip out a secret passageway i've built from my hut to the forest, and begin my journey.

" Dear All
Thankyou for your help in getting me better. I sincerly apologies for leaving like this, but i need to go. I will be back, though when, i do not know. Please watch my hut for me, and good luck to all."

[invert_nexus]

(Aww, I tried to keep it clean. I didn't think about having to clean up after you until you were already unconscious. :p I just mentioned it and would let it happen in the background from here on in... You should at least thank me for not letting the ape-man clean you up. :D I knew you'd hate that. And I thought Communist Hamster curling up on your lap was rather cute. I bet it was just a prelude to innoculating you into Marxism, though. Anyways, hope you come back soon. Farewell, Blue. :) )

[Kunax]

(hehe so Sexy Blue thought it best to move herself out of the stories, wonder why :))

With Sexy Blue out of the way, I took the chance to take over her former thrown by the lake(the sunbathing rock) and assume power over the lake.

Later on the day, the 2 elephants came down to drink of my lake, of cause I could not allow that to happen, so after much fierce growling and roaring I manage to chase them away, job well do i return to my rock.

Nexus must had see the event from his balcony high above, for soon after his robot army came marching down to road, armed to the teeth, it had a bamboo stick in each hand.
Not knowing what to do, I totally ignoring the robot, it had almost reach me when its left foot got stuck between the large boulders near the sunbathing rock. Now unable to move the robot was completly at my mercy, so the many following hours i tortured the poor robot, by using him as a scratching pole.
Strangely the close contact between us build up a lot of static in his circuits, making him say and do the weirdest things(robot is now a drug addict, addicted to static:bugeye:). Finally in the end, the robot cracked under the torture and joined my side, against the evil empire in the castle high above.

[Dreamwalker]

(... You should at least thank me for not letting the ape-man clean you up. :D I knew you'd hate that.)

Meh...Always these mistrusting people.:bugeye: Nah, I respect your interest in Sexy Blue... :p

[invert_nexus]

It's those feet I tell you... :p I couldn't resist adding a medical side to the coma. After all, we are in sciforums after all... Perhaps I crossed the line. Anyways, Blue was leaving before the coma incident. That's why I added it, to spice up the story a bit. I do apologize for going too far. It was purely medical, I assure you. And just to be mentioned to fill in the explanation and then left at that.

Again, sorry... Sometimes the story carries me away and... :D

[invert_nexus]

With sexy blue gone, I am now able to devote myself to the task of Dreamwalker's house with a full heart. And now, both the robot and the ape-man are able to assist. I let Dreamwalker choose a location and start construction. I'm going to need to experiment with the capabilities of my ape-man to find if he is capable of adding magical effects to the construction. But I will create the base construction first.

Lalala, I love building things.

(Strike that. I forgot Kunax's post. It appears it is just the ape-man and I. Again Kunax thwarts my will. :D :p

And, just so that I don't look totally pathetic, there was more to interaction between blue and I than are present in this thread. (Scan back and see who grappled with whom in the bubble bath incident.) And the "romance" was inevitable in a village consisting of merely Blue, Kunax, and I. I am somewhat hurt by the finale to the scenario. I think a little bewildered would be a better word for it. But, what the hell. :p If she didn't like the scenario, she had full powers to change it at any time. Ah well, women...

Personally, I think the romantic elements of my scenario added much to my character and his options and motivations. Now, I will have to throw myself into my work, I guess. It was purely literary and betrays no obsession on my part.)

[Communist Hamster]

As sexy blue got up, she failed to notice me, and i was flung forward onto a waterlily. Phew, i thought, at least i didn't land in the water. Then, the momentum of my flight broke the stem of the waterlily, sending me floating slowly across the lake

[Nuttyfish]

Can I join in the Scivillage? I could be, like, a fish, of sorts...

[Communist Hamster]

While floating along on my lily, i saw a fish swimming in the water. It foolishly swam too close to me, and I dragged it onto the lily, and made a fire with materials i carried in my pouche. I cooked it, and had a well deserved meal. Hmm, i thought, a bit nutty. I set to work on building a small hut on the lily. (Its one of those giant lilies)

[Kunax]

(ofcause you can join, no need to ask about that :))
I had rearmed the robot last night, with a small pinetree(xmas tree), that i had manage to break down using my weigth. The robot did not seem to know what to do with it at first, but in the end I think he thicker it out as he picked it up in both hand and started waving it in the air for some time.
Guardbot had been a good guard, he had been standing in the same spot since yesterday, perhaps because his foot was stuck.
Guardbot only moved when I came close to him, he then would try to and pet my as best as he could in an attempt to get a buzy(his addiicted to static), I did not mind but it was stading to get wierd.


Much later...
I was laying on my rock, watching a fish swin about doing nutty fish things in the water, since i didn't fell like getting wet, i only watch the fish, waithing, hoping it might come out of the water, but it did not

(lol comham, fish eating hamster, have to rewrite my last part now:))

[Kunax]

I was still dozing on the sunbathing rock, when something out on the lake caugth my attension. Standing up to get a better look, I saw it was a big waterlily floating around, something was moving around on top of it.

Jumping into the water, I swam out to investigate who or what was trespassing on my lake, it is my lake after all. Once there i saw it was a hamster that lived on the waterlily, here ComHam(the hamster) had build a little hamster hut, in which he was now hidding, peaking out the door now and then, to see if what I was doing.

For a time I push the waterlily around the lake, by bumping in to it with my face, since the water was to deep for me to use my paws, but it got boring real fast, so i push ComHam and his floating house back to the sunbathing rock where i left it and walked away to find someething to eat.

[invert_nexus]

Dreamwalker's house is taking shape nicely. I have installed rope swings so that he can have swinging parties with his ape friends, scratching posts and logs to climb for his tiger family, and a litter box because he refuses to use the toilet. I realized that I had made a mistake. I meant to build it in the treetops, but here it was laying on the ground.

Hmmm. What to do?

I go rest in the shade and contemplate the mess I've gotten myself into. My ape-man (really should give him a name one of these days) capers about the clearing in a bubbling, joyful fashion. I pick up the organ grinder and idly examine it. I notice a panel in the side. I open it and see a row of buttons. One button is depressed. It has the symbol "Ω" beside it. There were several other buttons with symbols besides them (15 in total) plus one that had no label. Curious.

I gave the handle an experimental crank. The ape-man immediately stopped what he was doing and made a shuffling dance step. Another crank. Another step. I cranked it several times and watched as he began his merry dance. It was different dance this time. Even the music was different than previously. Rather, it seemed that it did not repeat in a predictable fashion. It was spontaneous music. Hmmm.

I pushed one of the buttons labelled "β". I gave the handle a crank. Immediately the ape stopped dancing. He stood stark still. I gave it another crank. Nothing apparently happened. Hmmm. I began to crank the handle furiously. Strange. He is across the clearing from me, some 100 yards. Yet, it appears that he is drawing closer. Yet, his body does not move. Wait, he's not moving he's growing. 10 feet, 15 feet, 20 feet, 40 feet, 80 feet. Shit! I was so amazed I forgot to stop cranking. By the time that I ceased, my servant was some 150 feet tall. When I ceased playing the organgrinder, the ape once more began to amble about the clearing. Only now, the ground was shaking with each step.

I order the ape-man to play nice and to stay close while I prepare Dreamwalker's house. A few harnesses and struts secured the frame and I ordered my servant to place it in the tree tops. I hastily constructed some stairs spiralling about a tree trunk and secured the frame of the house to the trees. I go back down and have a look at it from a distance. Beautiful. My finest work ever. Dreamwalker should be pleased.

I gather up my tools and organ grinder and head back into town with my servant trailing along behind. The ground shaking with his every step. Ah, screw this... "Servant! Pick me up and carry me!" He extends his hand at the ground and I step into his palm. He carries me to his shoulder. It is somewhat difficult maintaining my perch. I'm gonna need to construct some sort of saddle. Maybe a hat for him to wear...

I whistle a merry tune as we tramp towards town, dreaming of palanquin designs.


(By the way, Kunax. It's figure, not thicker. I've seen you use it like that a few times. I've always understood what you meant by context, but... :) )

[Nuttyfish]

In the depths of hell, a new fish was being born, enhanced with advanced psychological powers, namely the ability to set up a private surgery underwater. The Nuttyfish had returned, its one objective, to kill the Communist Hamster. You can run, and you can hide, but I will find you somewhere on p[age forty-something...

A small surgery, underwater of course, had just been registered. Offereing legal advice (don't know why), psychological counseling and psychiatric treatment. Dr. Nuttyfish, the resident couseling fish, had set up business. The scivillage had its first underwater doctors surgery. Owned by me...

[invert_nexus]

Where were you when Blue was in a coma? :p

Let's hope we get better service there than in Dr. Lou's unnecessary surgury. :D

[Communist Hamster]

From my hut on the lily, i called in air support from the CHU(communist hamster union)
They sent in a chinook, and picked me up. As we flew off to CHU HQ, i looked back at the lake, sparkling in the sunset. How beautiful.

[Nuttyfish]

In the back room of Nutty's surgery was the laboratory, where a collection LED lights, stolen from comham, were stored. They were being used to reanimate all the dead fish that had been eaten, and killed by lethal gases and liquids in the lake. STOP USING PNEUMONIUM SHAMPOO!!! IT KILLS FISH!!!

[Kunax]

(Thanks for the correction, figure it is. "Thicker" has been bothing me for some time now, it just looked wrong. some letter combos present a slight problems for me, they sounds like other letters to me.

I had planed to somehow capture your monkey, but a 50 meter monkey might presend a problem :))

[Dreamwalker]

It looks like Invert has finnished my house. It is a splendid building, high in the treetops. I really thank you Invert.
Oh, and an impressive monkey you have there. But a bit big don´t you think :D

[Nuttyfish]

Anyone know the directions to the Communist Hamster Union Headquarters?

[Communist Hamster]

From the CHU base, I watched on a screen the antics of the villagers, as they went about their daily lives, blissfully ignorant of the hidden camera. Suddenly, there was a newsflash [attention hamsters, a large shipment of LEDs has been stolen from a cargo ship traversing the lake. All CHM (communist hamster military) units scramble]
Hearing this i jumped into an attack helicopter, and flew out to the lake.

[invert_nexus]

As Grape Ape (that's his name... :D) and I made our way towards town, a diminutive helicopter came wizzing by. Grape Ape became enraged by this little device. He began swatting at it and uprooting trees and swinging them at it. I tried to calm him down, but it seemed that he had some kind of inherent fear of flying machines. For some reason, I have a vague sense of relief that there are no 100 story buildings nearby.

The helicopter pilot seemed quite skilled at his craft and whizzed about. Constantly one step ahead of Grape Ape's flailing. There were several close calls, and I imagine the pilot was sweating bullets, but in the end it managed to evade us and zoomed off into the forest. I thought I heard a faint cry of "Communist Hamster! Away! Workers Unite!"

[certified psycho]

Todat I saw a weird peron yelling at the sky. I just left it alone for a while but it bothered. So i asked invert_nexus what was going on, he told me that Grape Ape was yelling at a helicopter. That odd. But anyways I saw that heli was chasing Communist Hamster around. I felt sorry for the little bugger so shot the helicopter down. Went down like sex life.

[Communist Hamster]

STUPID!!!! THAT WAS ME IN THE HELICOPTER!!! As i was scouting out the area in my chopper, I noticed a large ape trying to swat me. I evaded it, but then some psycho shot me down. I bailed out, landing at some speed. I went straight through the ground, landing in a dark, partially collapsed room. There was a strong smell of alchohol in the air. I pulled out a set of night vision goggles, and surveyed the room. It looked to be a kind of distillery. I climbed up a table leg and sampled some. Mmmmm. I climbed back to the floor, gnawed a hole in the wall, made a bed, and fell asleep after informing CHU about my situation.

[Kunax]

(hehe I like all the misunderstandings that goes on in this thread :))

[invert_nexus]

As Grape Ape and I continued towards the village (long way apparently) a whole swarm of miniature helicopters and airplanes began swooping and diving about us. Grape Ape became enraged once more. He swung and bellowed and swatted with a vicious glee. Many of the miniature aircraft were knocked from the sky trailing smoke behind them. Red-furred hamsters bailing out and drifting to the ground by miniature parachutes.

Grape Ape began to climb a huge tree nearby. Stopping occasionally to swat at the pests. Strangely, about halfway up the tree (big tree obviously) we came across an alluring female hamster who had just stepped out of the bath. Grape Ape grabbed her between his fingernails and deposited her next to me on his shoulder. (I think I'll call her Fay Ray.) We reached the top of the tree and he gripped the tree with one hand and begin viciously swatting the varmints from the sky. Occasionally pounding on his chest and bellowing loudly.

[Communist Hamster]

[All units! Ignore the ape! Scour the lake for the wreckage of the cargo ships!] This was what awakened me, as I had forgotten to turn my radio off. Hearing this, I collected my temporary base and ran to the surface. Once on the surface I met a small team of hamsters who had also been knocked out of the sky We ran towards the lake, where we had hidden a small, secret attack boat under the cover of some bullrushes.

[Nuttyfish]

(how the hell is a bunch of psychotic hamsters in mini apache helicopters going to stop me? :confused: )
YAY!!! Surgery open for business! "Dr. Nuttyfish PhD BsC BeD DumB", written in big gold letters was engraved onto the sign outside the underwater offices. With a low-interest mortgage, a six-figure salary and a new submarine for all new recruits. Sign up now!! (Terms and conditions apply, not open for hamsters :D )

Outside in the surface world, tension was obviously rising. SCNN (Scivillage Cable News Network, for those on terrestrial television) was reporting ineffectual hamster militants raiding the area. Helicopters and kamikaze rodents were falling from the sky like dandruff from God's shoulders. The civilians, being the foolish, lesser minded people that they are, carried on life, oblivious to the impending doom about to set upon the Scivillage. The Apocalypse was coming. Even Nostradamus didn't see this one coming.

Immediately, I scrambled the newly reanimated Babelfish together. I had a small, specialist army, ready to take down any foes that stood in their way, their main objective to avenge my previous death and destroy the Communist Hamster. The Special Herring and Fish Tactics squad (S.H.A.F.T) was assembled in one sector, the band of negotiators in another, fluent in the primitive hamster speak (some Russian, some Spanish, mostly Xhosa). After a rivetting speech, I set them on their way. An anti-sea attack force began to assemble near the surface, but out of the reach of any hamster's arm length. The assault team readied their Ak-47s and Mk11 Pulse Rifles. My scout squadron looked through PSG-1 sniper rifles, surveying the area. Medics and engineers were on standby. The invasion had some force to reckon with. all forces were equipped with anti pneumonium/hypothermium suits, so no funny stuff :D .

The doctor sat back in his big, five-dollar leather chair, and waited...

[Nuttyfish]

[All units! Ignore the ape!]
(That's a classic)

[Communist Hamster]

We set off across the lake, but we were hardly started when bullets began zipping out of the water. We started dropping depth charges, and bits of zombie fish began flying out of the water. One of my comrades grabbed 2 AK47s and fired wildly into the water. There was a roar, as the CHU air force jets screamed overhead, dropping homing torpedoes and mines into the lake.

[Nuttyfish]

[Alpha, Bravo, Delta! Calling all airstrike units. Scour the lake!!] A quick and easy command. Within minutes, a moderate sized explosive was dropped on the lake surface, causing an explosion of such magnitude that even my trained Babelfish flinched in terror, even though they were underwater, safe from the blast.

[Communist Hamster]

The explosion ripped the boat to shreds, and flung us into the air. As we hit the water surface, some dead, most alive, We followed our training and took out our sea-doos and scuba gear, and proceeded down into the lake, armed with explosive spearguns

[Dreamwalker]

I wake up and look outside the window, wondering what causes this commotion. As I look towards the lake, I see a multitude of hamsters attacking the lake with helicopters and fighter planes. How peculiar, I have to go and take a closer look...

[Communist Hamster]

Reaching the bottom, we went toward a light in the distance. It appeared to be a kind of building. There was a plaque on it, informing us that it was a surgery, but not open for hamsters. Suddenly, we were under fire from zombie fish. They took down 3 of us (there are 12) before we blew them all into gobbets of fishy stuff. One of them sent me flying backwards intothe window of the surgery, which was handy because a torpedo from a CHU bomber had just annihilated my squad and the zombablefish.
Getting up, I saw a fish sitting in a black leather chair. It resembled the one that I had eaten that day on the lily. How strange that I should think of that at a time like this.
It turned to face me, and just as it was turning I noted that it had a label on its back, 'Made In Hell', Hmmmm.
"Who are you, and what does that big control panel covered with buttons and switches and lights do? Because i just pressed the BIG RED ONE that said 'please do not press this button under any circumstances', and i was wondering if anything bad would happen" I said to the fish in the chair.

[Nuttyfish]

In another room, the fish negotiators were frantically trying to reason with the hamster invaders over the low frequency radio, interupting Radio 666:

Why...are you doing this? Why? Isn't the scivillage big enough for the both of us? What is wrong with you people? We could work together. Why be enemies? Because we're different? Is that why? Think of the things that we could do. Thank how strong we would be. Fish...and Hamsters...together. There is nothing that we could not accomplish. Think about it. Think about it. Why destroy when you can create? We can have it all. Or we can smash it all. Why can't we...work out our differences? Why can't we...work things out? Little people...why can't we all just...get along?

At that point the hamsters sent out a high pitched sound that made the negotiators' heads vibrate sporadically, then explode, Scanners (http://www.bytemediscs.com/scanners.jpg) style.

The motherducking son of a Grape Ape pressed the button. Why did he do that? Why?
Why the hell did I put that there, anyway?

The satellite dish was rising from the bottom of the sea, despite the depth charges and torpedoes being constantly launched. It sent out a strange frequency to a fish-satellite orbiting the planet, its message was, "Destroy the village." The fish complied, launching their super-nuclear-zombie-brains-death-ray at the surface. "Seeya," they called, with a snicker :D .