If a person has been sexually abused as a child and find him/her self experincing the same kind of abuse as an adult, only this time it's verbal sexual abuse, what is it that person has to learn from this expereince? What does the soul need? What is the right approach to have to be able to come to a conclusion of this dilemma?
To distance themselves from such people who provide this abuse. I don't know if there is much to learn from this that is positive or quite usefull. For the other soul to go away and stop abusing them. I don't understand what you mean here. I guess talking to someone about this problem and getting away from it. What conclusion are you looking for? Are you trying to say how does one come away with a lesson and expereince from such a event and asking what are the ways to do so?
Well, I believe the soul provides the personality with problems that are constructed as a lesson, to teach the personality something that the soul needs to develop. So, seen from that viewpoint, what does the soul need? What is it looking for in this experience? There must be something besides "run for your life!". Instead of running one can try to analyze and understand what the situation really is about. I know it sounds complicated, but try to see it from the viewpoint I presented, like a mental exercise. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! What agenda do you see behind the curtain of "reality"?
Oh...you see it makes sense now your question after you went in depth more. It's a interesting philosophy to employ towards life. I have never heard of such a practice before. Is it your idea solely or is there a belief system based on this? Well the example you put forth is a hefty one so the this must be a important lesson for the soul to learn since sexual abuse, be it mental or physical, can be dangerously mind draining leading the victims to exhibit and develop maladaptive traits. I guess the sould could be teaching it self and the host about how some people put others down because they themselves feel hatred for themselves, so they abuse others to make themselves feel better. It could be saying well look at these people and realize that one mustn't hurt others to fullfill one's heart but rather find the way through their own strength...not through belittelling others. I really don't know..maybe it'll come to me later. My soul, however, is telling me after reading your posts that some people should use darker colors for other people's eyes.Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
Maybe it would be considered verbal sexual abuse to look at someone and yell "I'm having sex with you against your will right now bitch!!!Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!". But then all you'd really be guilty of is making someone confused so I don't know.
It is my belief that such questions are unansewerable for persons other than the one experiencing it because each of our lives is so unique, also if such situatuions present themselves to us and are a manifestation of previous causes and actions in ones own life (or livesPlease Register or Log in to view the hidden image!). It is only through understanding your self and seeing your own psyche clearly that you can decifer the meaning of the situation or more importantly the meaning of your personal reactions to the situation. What you have to learn is not from the situatuion in itself but from your own perception of the situation, once you know this the correct conduct in relation to it will be more apparent to you. The above I believe applys for other aspects of life aswell, for example dreams have incredibly much to tell us about ourselves, however to ask someone else to make sense of them would be just deluding ourself, one must make the effort to find the answeres for ones self. All we can learn from others is how to find out for ourselves. Awareness, equinimity, and purity of mind go a long way and are fine things to strive for. Forgive me for ranting, I am affraid I have not made your life any easier, I am also affraid that that is my pointPlease Register or Log in to view the hidden image!.
I don't know Sarge, I must have picked it up from somewhere. Well, there are other more humane ways for the soul to learn what you described, but I guess nobody else can tell but the person within the experience exactly what it's supposed to be good for. Sorry about the colours, I can't help myself.
Dear exsto human: It is very funny for me to read what you said as regards dreams: “The above I believe applys for other aspects of life aswell, for example dreams have incredibly much to tell us about ourselves, however to ask someone else to make sense of them would be just deluding ourself, one must make the effort to find the answeres for ones self.” The reason I find this notion amusing is that I frequent a dream website where I interpret dreams. I have been told I am eerily accurate. “Scary” has been used on more than one occasion. I feel dreams give incredible insight into real life situations of the individual who has had the dream. These individuals CANNOT make out the symbolism and rely on me to do this. I suggest to you that this is possible. Dear Bebelina: You ask a very good question. I think the fact that you have chosen such a highly-charged subject matter is making it difficult for others to answer. I, therefore, can readily see how hard it is for this person to solve it for themselves. For if others who have no emotional attachment to this situation cannot solve this riddle, I feel doubtful that the woman in the middle of this situation can be expected to. It is only right she look for a little help. And isn't that exactly what she didn't do in the first place? It's interesting that the initial responses have reinforced this false notion. She should indeed ask for help in the first place. And in the second. It is interesting that perhaps the universe is mirroring back her subconscious thoughts that there is no help? Or at least no help for her? In any event, I hope I am up to fulfilling this request. I tend to like to look at patterns when I view things. So I will outline some patterns I see in this hypothetical scenario that you have outlined. Now you have someone that was sexually abused as a child and then is verbally abused as an adult. The first pattern that springs to mind is one of being a victim. While this may seem obvious, I perhaps don’t mean it in the obvious way. We can easily see that as a child she may well have felt powerless in this situation. There were excuses and fears that must have played on her mind as to why she felt she could not tell and why she must suffer the consequences of this abuse. Of course, there is a basic perceived inequality of power in the nature of any kind of contest between a child versus an adult. But this is NOT what is going on inside this individual. For we see as an adult, this person “willingly” puts herself in a position of victimization. This makes me think that perhaps she is being asked to come to terms with why she feels so powerless and helpless as this may be an issue to work on. In other words, going back to the first incident, some children do, in fact, tell what has happened to them. They do, in fact, seek justice. They do, in fact, win and overcome their abusive situation. They prove themselves powerful. So this tells me that something is underlying this issue of being powerless since it has happened twice. Reinforcing this notion is the fact that it is now adult versus adult. This some would say is much more equal footing in terms of power. So in her staying in this situation, I would have to say that I feel that this person is not looking at all her strengths. She is not seeing herself as a winner or someone that can overcome adversity. Her self-worth is non-existent. For if we view what being victim really is, a major component is in feeling powerless. But are they indeed powerless? It is interesting if in theory we look at someone who is a sheer opportunist. If this opportunist was a child, how easily they could take advantage of an adult. But most children are not opportunist. This is just an example I give as to how one can truly evaluate their strengths and turn a seeming weakness into much the opposite to win a war. Perhaps she needs to evaluate herself in this kind of dispassionate way. Next is the notion of love. Who was it that abused this child? Was it a parent or someone she loved? This would be a necessary detail for me to know in order to accurately analyze this portion of what is internally happening inside this woman. If it was indeed someone she “loved” that abused her, and she did not tell for that reason, she is confusing “love” with what is best for her. She is subjugating all that she is, making the notion of sacrifice a travesty and a mockery. Did she learn this lesson from her mother? You did not mention this either. So the lesson, if any of this is relevant, is that you may “love” someone, but this does not override the concept of another’s boundary. Even if someone you “love” oversteps your boundary, you push them back over the line. If you are not physically or mentally able to do this, you find someone who is. A third angle to view this situation through would be that this little girl was completely traumatized by what happened. There may have been no feelings of inadequacy, powerlessness, or self-worth issues within her until she was raped. It was at that point these feelings arose and now form the prison in which she lives. This could very well have happened. In this case, the lesson is to NEVER let someone else decide what you are. An incident is just that. It is something that happens to us. It may or may not be something we can control. It may or may not be karmic in origin. Either way, it has NOTHING to do with what and who we are. Emotions and “turning thoughts” keep the memory real. If this is the case, this young woman MUST find out and discover who she really is. To think of one’s self as an abused child, MAKES one an abused child. Forever. So suppose she relives the past. These memories bring on guilt for not taking action. And that, in turn, brings on guilt as to why this abuser chose her. And that, in turn, brings on thoughts that she must have been being provocative and is really the guilty party in this scenario, etc., etc. So the lesson here would be to erase the past. STOP RELIVING it. For that is what she does each and every time she is verbally abused. She is replaying the original scenario over and over again. Thoughts attract situations. In thinking about the past and what happened to her in the past, AND IN BELIEVING SOME PART OF PAST AS BEING TRUE, she has now attracted that situation in her life again. I would strongly suggest she find out who she truly is and not rely on the memory of abuse to define her. Also, there is one more thought I would like to present to you. Karma is this mysterious subject. I have a theory on the nature of karma. You see any strong emotional response causes adrenalin to be released. I believe adrenalin to leave a “crystal” residue. I believe this crystal residue attracts similar situations to us. So this also may be underlying the situation as well. The lesson here would be to make the attraction inert and refuse to become emotional. The abuse turning from physical to mental would seem to mimic this solution. For a verbal assault is of air in terms of nature and thus is reinforcing the need for mental activity. Pure thought, without emotion, can be used to detach from this situation. Forever. These are my initial thoughts on this. Without more details, I can only go this far. With more specifics, there can be more complexity. Think of a drawing where you connect the dots. The more dots, the clearer the picture. Sat Nam, NEMESIS
It is possible that you are right. If you have developed (or posess naturaly) such great skill that that you are able to help others correctly, then great! The world is a better place for it. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
from your color abuse, my soul learnt that those who abuse also got abused, so abusing is bad in general. better heed to sarge's suggestion and example : keep away from abusers Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! btw, you are different from being a child , you can refuse to be abused now, train yourself in that direction.
Irrespective of experiences - good or bad, the soul learns the cause and effect and how other souls learn the same thing and adjust their actions over countless births and rebirths until those knowledge prepares them to create the galaxies that they were once part of... Such is the cycle of consciousness...
Re: Re: What is the lesson? Originally posted by sargentlard ---------- To distance themselves from such people who provide this abuse. I don't know if there is much to learn from this that is positive or quite usefull. ---------- (I think you've made a very good point. We each have two images: the one on the outside that everyone else sees, and the one on the inside that only we can see. When we're attracted to someone, it's usually the inside image that's attracted to certain kinds of people who are often not good for us. How many times have you heard "I don't know what she sees in him!" They can only see her outside image not her inside image. After a life of making the same mistakes over and over, I finally learned that this inside image of myself is a wild party animal biker chick that attracts the same image, but my outside image is a learned medical professional, good mother, stable individual who finially figured out that the inside image was what was to blame for attracting the worst kind of man. Then I set out to find a man I wasn't attracted to! I found him, a middle-aged accountant, church-goer (yuk!), stable, responsible, good father, law-abiding citizen, etc. So I got to know him, and come to find out--his inside image was a biker-type who wanted to be a party animal but had more self-restraint. Now, everybody says, "they make such a cute couple!" But when we're alone sometimes, our party animal image comes out, and we love to ride his motorcycle all over town! So, my advice to my daughters, find a guy you're NOT attracted to!)
As far as the soul is concerned, it will sort itself out in the end. As km said, the soul adjusts itself, through each new body it takes the soul learns more and more. Ultimately that learning must be used to attain freedom from the cycle of birth and rebirth, moksha.
Dear Medicine*Woman: Sage advice! NEVER feed the emotional nature and NEVER let karma and the build up of adrenalin-based karma ATTRACT further problems to you. Dear Kmguru and airvata: What you are saying, according to pure Yogic thought, Platonic forms AND the Gnostic doctrine is simply not true. The soul is perfect in nature, carrying in it perfect forms and our divine SPIRIT. The EGO (the demiurge) is the villain NOT the soul. If we listened to the pure forms and wisdom (Sophia according to the Gnostics) contained in our soul, we would have NO problems and be free in no time at all. So it is our THOUGHT process under the hierarchy of the demiurge of the ego (Apophis, Satan or whatever you want to call this monster - many names same thing) that MUST be changed. By following the calling or "FEEDING" that is contained in the soul, we pull free from the earthly attractions (attraction/repulsion game) which make us ultimately miserable and keeps us in bondage. Just one more point of view to further thoroughly confuse you! Sat Nam, NEMESIS
Youe are right and wrong at the same time. A photon or electron is perfect in nature. But electrons can kill people too....so does photons as in UV. There is light and darkness. Absense of light is not evil or imperfect. Light is a subset of the EMF spectrum. It is just that we can not see all of it unaided. A soul is a container of intelligence, a subprogram from the larger universal program. The soul has a function just as your eyes and nose have functions. The subprograms learn and grow. Everything in the universe learns and grows from the primodial soup to what is yet to come. Even Jesus when was a Baby learned to walk too... Such is the nature of the Universe and the Soul in it.... Sidebar: `Elijah said, "I bring heaven and earth to bear witness that any human being, Jew or Gentile, man or woman, freeman or slave, according to his deeds, can become worthy of Ruach HaKodesh, the Holy Spirit, the transcendental experience." [Tana DeBei Eliahu Rabba 9] [Bahir II: 94]
well... I'm uncomfortable with your basic premise, which is that we are divided into parts and one part, the soul, has some kind of master plan for the other part, the personality. If the soul was so smart, and its your soul, why keep things from yourself? Perhaps we unconciously know what is good for us, but are unable to do it. What happens sometimes when we are traumatized as a youth is, that we try to relive the experience in order to find a certain closure. Attention, good or bad, can be misinterpreted as love. Then, when seeking love later in life, you misunderstand what real love is, and look for it in all the wrong places. There are no containers for anything, no boundries are really boundries, only illusionary. We are taught that we are divided against ourselves, from others, from nature, from the universe, we are not. The only curtain between you and reality is the ego. The only agenda is the one you decide. When we make mistakes we learn what not to do. NEMESIS: What is so mysterious about the concept of karma- what goes around comes around!
I think most of the important stuff has been covered pretty well, but I want to throw one idea out: What lesson can be learned from being abused? The lesson of the knowledge of what it feels like to be abused. Therefore you are in a fairly unique position to go out and help other people who have suffered through the same expirience as you. First, though you have to come to terms with the expirience yourself - a job which will be made alot easier by the stuff written above.
