Okay, so could yourself at 17 really comprehend what you became by 30? To me, it's pretty much apples and oranges. At 17 I was simply a different creature than I am now. What I now think of as "responsibility", for instance, is something I simply couldn't have fathomed at that time in my life. I was just as intelligent then am I as now, but lacked the depth of experience and years of analysis that lend themselves to what I think of as "responsibility" now (especially as a parent). I've gone under the impression for a few years now that this transformation (so to speak) is fundamentally inevitable (of course there are probably some exceptions due to illnesses, etc.). I did realize however while trying to lend some advice to nico, that I hadn't really verified this. So have I errored or is there some truth this?
First things first, today was a good day, a girl said i looked 24, I'm 31 in November (ok ok,...I gotta blow my own trumpet, noone else will goddamit)Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Agree with you wes. A person who is the same at 30, 40, 50 whatever as he was when he was 17 is truly a fool, and should be pittied. But I think it's pretty obvious isn't it? I mean noone can truly say that they haven't changed as a person over the years can they? what do you mean about the illness part? could you expand?
I haven't really changed much since I was 17 except that I am slightly more confident in certain situation. But personality wise I am probably almost identical. My intelligence must have gone down, but I am compensating that now with experience. I will always be that little boy though. Doesn't matter if I am 17 or 33. One major difference would be that I do grasp more opportunities nowadays. I care less about the consequences.
Growin' older but not growin' up. Comprehend myself as I am today? Probably so... Predicted? No way. :m: Peace.
one thing I miss is the eternal optimism I had when I was 17. maybe this is also down to the individual's specific circumstances, and how their lives panned out, but when I was 17 I had no idea of the troubles that lay ahead of me. One could define this as a "state of ignorance", and yes it was bliss, and I miss it. I miss it because it's unattainable, because of the inevitable rose coloured tint we apply when feeling nostalgic and reminissing about the past, but mainly because it can never be reclaimed.
Well, I thought so.. but hell (and maybe I just worded it poorly) look above, seems like maybe it's not as obvious as we think? Certainly, but I'm talking kind of fundamental. I mean, my personality hasn't really changed too much I guess.. in terms of being smart and funny and such... but what I used to think of as "responsibility" simply doesn't compare to what I now understand it to be. There were so many things that I though I understood which I now realize I really didn't understand very well, even though I wasn't any less intelligent then (maybe moreso :m: ). I was just leaving room for the developmentally challenged.
I guess this came up because I was trying to imagine me now explaining to me then what it was like to be married, have kids and really have a deep appreciation for capitalism and an understanding of economics, along with trying to relay all the shit I learned regarding my entire philosophical outlook during my 20's. I just don't think I could possibly comprehend what I was talking about without having lived it ya know?
also, you'll find the paradigm shift, the very things you villified your parents for being (regarding your rebelion, and quest for greater freedom) you will find yourself being. As your kids get older, you'll find yourself giving them the same lectures as i'm sure your folks gave you, that is the cyclical nature of life. Everything changes, and yet stays the same.
quote As your kids get older, you'll find yourself giving them the same lectures as i'm sure your folks gave you, that is the cyclical nature of life. Everything changes, and yet stays the same. --- WRONG the correct statement is that if you think in that manner then you will create a cycle of mental retardation and psychological stagnation for yourself and your children and you will condem your children to be possibly more retarded with more issues than you already have try not to be offended by what i am saying becuase it is the norm and im sure most people wish to be considerd normal so there you stay and to answer the question well what do you think by my answer when i was 17 i was in my first job and in shared accomadation/flatting paying my own way and YES ofcoarse i would have wesmorris at what age do you learn to drive a car do all people learn how to drive a car some people get by with using a pushbike some learn how to drive a car some learn how to fly a plane some learn how to fly without a plane just to give you a few metaphors to work with sounds like your thinking on the rite track but why rush to decide what should be fact groove on Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
no, what i said is right, ask any parent. furthermore, why do you equate guiding ones children, making them aware of right and wrong, about the pitfalls of lafe with "mental retardation and psychological stagnation"?
I think you're both right. Ripple has a good point, but Bhud, you know what you say is true. The reality of it (as far as I can tell as a parent so far, my oldest is just about to turn 3) is that it's a mix. You can't help but tell your kids some of the stuff your parent told you because damnit man, they were right but you didn't get it at the time because you hadn't lived long enough to have a clue about WTF they were saying.. kind of like why I started this topic. Further though, you're YOU and not your parents, so your personal style, temperment, etc all directly effect the shit you talk to your kid, which means that though things are similar as just described, they change too.. in a manner directly related to who YOU are. If you are your parents then Bhud's point is more relevant, if you are a unique doodad completely different from your parents, well you still use some stuff they did without thinking, but Ripple's point becomes much more relevant. So reality lies somewhere between the two extremes eh?
Wes ultimately we are all different to our parents, but what I was saying was the essence of what we (shit why am I saying we, I aint got any kids!....u know whatta mean) tell our kids, the message is basically the same isnt it? All over the world, irrespective of race, colour or creed, parents are basically telling their kids the same shit: stay off drugs, go to school, don't stay out so late, watch the company you keep, don't booze yourself into a stupour, etc etc..... no?Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! ...you know i'm right.Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
Well, things DO change eh? I mean, my parent's didn't have to warn ME about internet trolls. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Like I said, you're right.. but so is Ripple. I mean, my dad was a great guy.. but he doesn't have some of the communication skills I have, nor some of the ability to see the underlying truth stuff that I have... as such he wasn't ABLE to provide some advice/knowledge/guidance... so the fundies DO change. Hell man, some parents (not mine, but I've known some) teach you "beat em up if you don't like em"... ya know?
internet trolls? ...now young wesley, that wouldn't be directed at me would it?????????!!!!Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
what? why would you think that man? guilty conscience? hehe.. that's odd. eh, regardless.. no, I was talking about the kind of people who try to meet 14 year old boys/girls on the internet to abuse them.
oh God yeah, what about this marine dude and the girl from England?? sick. but you know what I mean regarding the message passed down from parents to kids.. bingo! Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
Hello Wessmorris. If you find yourself thinking differently about the world at age thirty (inevitable I suppose), do you think you will have a problem relating to your son (or daughter) when they are seventeen? I mean when I speak to the occasional 15 year old I occasionally find myself either patronizing or just baffled at their perspective or concerns, it is really a different world for them than when I was growing up. It is not only you who change over time but the world and culture we live in as well. Your father probably could not relate to cyber-culture and the internet, do you ever wonder if you will be able to relate to the challenges, attractions, dangers and wonders your child will one day face? Or do you think your child will feel you are out-dated the way many of us feel about our own parents?
(Daughters 1 and 3) Yes, I do expect to have difficulty relating to my girls when they are 17. Given that I know that however, I can try to be more understanding than I know I'll be inclined to be. One thing that I can see clearly already though is that inherently, a child's needs are exactly at odds with the needs of the parents. My need is often to sit on my ass as relax for a freakin minute, whereas the children's need is me. I do not mind this strain on my desire to fulfill my percieved need and continually strive to change my perception to encompass the needs of my children. This, as with most parental responsibilities, comes at the price of stress. (I'll tell you that I'm a groggy sleeper and there's not too much more stressful to me that someone demanding something of me while I'm trying to sleep) Good point and that's partially what I was trying to explain to Bhud. Yes and I hope I can be a good father throughout all that. I think I can be but the test remains to come. My confidence in success though is proportional to my love for those two cuties, so I think I'll be fine. Yeah that's interesting. I'm a pretty cool dude, so I'm wondering how my kids are gonna think of me. I mean, so far they freakin WORSHIP me, but that will change. In what manner remains to be seen. I doubt though that I'll be caught in "uncoolsville" because I'm too damned smooth for all that, but on the other hand.. it's likely that far hepper dudes than myself have made similar claims merely to find themselves alienated later. Maybe a lot of it is just the human experience of aging. At some point, you're just not cool anymore. I wonder if George Carlin's kids think he's lame. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! hehe
bhudmaash quote furthermore, why do you equate guiding ones children, making them aware of right and wrong --- rite or wrong in a learning curve is a contensiouse issue i am not refering to the bassics of do not go next door and root your neigbours while your children play with firearms in the middle of the road i am referring to a higher level type of education the sort that sets the ground work for the child to build on as an adult or teenager and such information is extreemly tainted and most often parents throw thier hands up and say they can only manage to contradict the MTV consumer culture by saying things like money is not everything friends are important treat others with respect and things like that that are actualy more akin to morals rather than the actual tools they require to grow properly through soo much crap being targetted at them by the adult psychologists that work for marketing companys whos job it is to undermine your childs self confidence and other things like that wesmorris think about how the grandparents can become soo cool even though they are not hip with the latest trend its not as simple as you fear it to be the most common thing that alienates children from thier parents is how the parents create double standards and lie to the child that is the biggest thing and making desisions that have no input of consideration of what the child/teen wants or might need even though the parent often misses the point of how important things like friends and social activities are wesmorris and the real big one sex education without intefearance that will be the judge that will decide your value by the amount of issues you may engender in them through your own biggotry im not saying you will or saying you are a biggot im just saying its where most parents cause problems for thier children/teens and try to interfear with thier sex life and all the fruitcakes will be trying desperately to use some example of sexual abuse to justify thier pre-event interaction of selfish retarded victimisation its extreemly complex for most people to comprehend and it would take far to long to explain with the little time on the net i have and no one is paying for the information so why should i give it for free in a capitalist society groove on wess best of luck you should be fine Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
20 years ago I felt pretty lost, and I used to wonder if there was anyway my life would work out. At 37, I feel much the same way. I really think that marriage and parenthood change your perspective, but I have done neither of those things. Hell my longest relationship was only a few weeks long, and that was years ago. Pretty much single loser status ever since. Actually, I wish I couldn't relate to being a teenager so well. I'd like to be a happy father with kids and a wife. Oh well, a slim chance at happiness is still a chance.
