If in one week you caught your best friend in a series of lies, some involving you and some of petty matters that really need not be lied about, what wiould you do? Do you think that person deserves a second chance? Or do you think they should pay the ultimate price of losing your friendship? Or is lying something that we all inevitably do? (I just need some advice, and I think you guys can help.)
IMO, lies are simply unnaccepatable. Reality is complicated enough, why jack it all up with pretending your internal drama is pertinent to others? It comes down to how important that person is to you vs. how much BS you are willing to put up with. Is it worth it to confront that person? (if you do though, they'll know you're onto them and go to greater lengths to ensure you don't bust them in the future). It might depend on the source of the lies in the person. I think lies are generally due to a nuerosis of some sort. Can you deal with the implications thereof? Blah, it's just kind of one of those things you have to weigh yourself. I thought I could be helpful but realized it's too personal for me to really help. Pardon.
Well, if it helps you help me. Some of what she was lying about was my relationship with my boyfriend. We work together and she was spreading lies there. The sad part was that we were having trouble, but she was making it out like he was this wonderful god and I was an evil horrendous bitch spiting him constantly. The other things she was lying about were getting a nosebleed and conversations she had with her brother. Just petty garbage. I've felt, for our entire friendship, that she has been jealous of me. I never wanted to make that claim, it sort of sounds egotistical, but I really think she is jealous of my life. If that helps...
Oh boy. That doesn't sound good. She's just making it all up? Then you've got a problem with this girl. I'd say you move her to arm's length if you follow. Having someone planting lies about you is simply unacceptable. Then why lie about it? Argh, sounds like she lacks depth eh? That's a big problem. I mean, there are all kinds of relationships that work.. but someone who is shallow and petty? Why is it that you're friends again? One of the hardest things to do is have a healthy ego. A realistic picture of one's self is a difficult thing to come by. IMO you go with your best guess and if that doesn't work remember when you were wrong the next time you're going by your best guess eh? In that manner I think you end up with a good perspective, hopefully without having hurt anyone. Someone is definately jealous of someone out there, this instance seems plausible. IMO, never stay where you're not appreciated. If someone is willing to lie about you to your detriment, you might question the validity of staying in that friendship. If that helps...
I would be saddened about it, but I believe the truth is more important. I'd sit down with him or her, talk about it, and then, if possible, forgive them and tell them to start over freshly. Friendship is the most important thing for me and I don't want to loose friends.
You could trust them and let them have another chance.....but be weary, it will affect you more if you put more trust in them and get nothing out of it............ Your decisions have concenquences..........good or bad they are all inevetable......Good Luck
IMO you should forget about her. How dare she do what she did in the first place. Dump her like a good habit. If she lied now who is to say she won't do it again. Lose her i say.
You say she is your "best friend", and that you feel she has been jealous of you, your "entire friendship." And now she is telling lies about you? I don't see a friendship. I see a dependency to satisfy an insecurity--on her part. I am unsure as to why a "friendship" between you exists and even progressed to "best friend." But then again, you maybe seeing it wrong-- in terms of her being jealous of you. True friendship of a any kind is very hard to come by, so if you indeed feel that she is a 'friend', I'd say speak to her and make sure it is she telling the lies and the reasons, if any behind them. Do not be hasty. Also, remember subjectivity-- what you deem lies may simply be the truth to her.
I didn't read anyone elses responses: If this person was truly your friend, they'd have no reason to lie to you. This person is NOT your friend.
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The reason that we are friends is because she was not always this way. I mean, she always seemed a little jealous, but I have a good life...I always tried to be giving with her. Underneath it all, she is a good person, and she's fun to be around. It is just recently that I realized that she's taken on another face, if you catch my drift. Yes Nebula. Should pay. People have to take responsibility for their actions. If she did this, she needs to pay in one way or another. It can't go unnoticed, or I figure she'll just do it again. Thank you all for your advice.
i have no idea what you are like or what your friend is like or what kind of friendship you have. but you asked "what would you do?" so i'll answer that as well as i can. my best friend lied or rather omitted that he was taking anxiety medication because he knows i'm staunchly against it (except in extreme cases and such, not for taking like candy). exactly what i was afraid of.....did happen. he became horribly depressed, changed into a-whole-nother person. he slept all day, became a drunk, stopped going to classes, became unreasonable and argumentative. i didn't know who he was anymore. throughout all of this i had no idea what was happening because he never told me about the pills. our friendship ended when he physically attacked me. we didn't speak for about a month during which time he got off the meds and left school (a week before the end of the semester, without completing it). after i was able to forgive him for what went down, he told me about the pills. that was another blow i wasn't prepared for. god almighty, i was mad as hell. he tore me up and ruined our friendship by lying. i'm either a huge pushover or carry baggage from my catholic upbringing, but we were able to get past that and i forgave him for all of it completely. it wasn't worth holding a grudge over. what happened happened. i don't know if your story is in any way comparable. if this person is worth it and you understand why they lied, you may be able to forgive. or it may be a sign to move on with your life and not put up with other people's bullshit.
Hey Swedish you are a forgiving one aren't ya?? My good friend bent my tennis racket out of shape by a stupid mistake and i am not talking to that bastard till he apologizes and pays for it...i don't care if he doesn't talk to me again........guess i am not forgiving ehh
