"Signs From God; Science Tests Faith"

[Lori]

I give that show two thumbs up! Anyone out there see it last night on FOX? I missed the beginning, but I did see documentary footage of a statue of Jesus crying tears and blood. Samples of the blood were collected off of the statue, and tested in a lab, and found to be human, and from a female. One of the commentators offerred up an interesting suggestion that the blood was female because Jesus did not have a "biological" father. Makes sense to me. How about you Boris? There. There's your f'ing proof! The statue was also taken to a lab for an MRI scan, looking for minute holes, or devices in it, and they found nothing. The statue had not been tampered with in any way.

I also saw a woman who experienced stigmata in the presence of the media, and on film. Truly fascinating. Let me guess, Boris...psychosomatic? See, I can almost read that stubborn mind of yours. NOT! The wounds appeared and bled profusely one day, and virtually disappeared the next. No one has THAT kind of control over their bodies to induce symptoms like these. Especially some old Spanish grandma. She also received a message from Jesus that predicted the day the stigmata would occur for the media's sake days in advance. Ironic? Let's here your explanation.

The shit is going down people! Things are going to get very interesting soon. Praise Jesus! Get me up outta here!

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God loves you and so do I!

[Boris]

Hmmm.

Excuse me, but I don't see why a wooden statue should care about the gender of blood it bleeds. In my opinion, the blood should have been wooden. But it is a strange idea that a male should go around with female blood in his circulatory system. A question for the bible experts: did Jesus have menstrual periods by any chance?

A most wonderful thing happened to me the other day. You see, in the evening I found a huge zit on my forehead. But when I woke up the next morning, it was gone! Praise be to Lord!!!

Just one little question to ye wise ones: why in Bloody Statue's name does the unexplained have to imply supernatural??

[Lori]

Boris, you are soooooooooooooo lame.

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God loves you and so do I!