'Profound' Thoughts And Why To Avoid Them

Discussion in 'Free Thoughts' started by Niudo, Mar 31, 2003.

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  1. Niudo Despair Factioner Registered Senior Member

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    Dangerous things happen when you mix caffiene, carbonation, and a typewriter.
    Here are some 'profound' thoughts Nivao and myself conjured during one of these times. Please do not confuse them with profound thoughts. These are 'profound'.
    Also, please add any 'profound' or profound thoughts of yours. I'd love to hear them.
    Cheers!

    [Profound thoughts included in next post]


    niudo

    ghost of mirkwood
     
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  3. Nivao Ghost of Mirkwood Registered Senior Member

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    "if you want to grow potatoes, dont' buy cornseed."

    Namarie

    ~Nivao
    Ghost of Mirkwood
     
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  5. Niudo Despair Factioner Registered Senior Member

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    "The most beautiful thing in the world is Legolas in the morning."
    [Niudo]
    Excuse: I was asked by Nivao what the most beautiful thing in the world was. I did not know that she was being serious. I was not.
    [He's hotter during rainstorms, like at Helm's Deep.]


    "Life is only as good as the Frosted Flakes you put on it."
    [Nivao]
    Excuse: Nivao's quotes don't get excuses because she's not here to defend herself. Meh.

    "One thing I've learned in life, assuming I've learned anything at all, is that it's very hard to lose something you don't have, and equally hard to find it. Another is that topless German ladies on beaches make it hard to keep your lunch down."
    [Niudo]
    Excuse: I had just returned from Spring Break in a place with many, many, topless old people. I was still- AM still- repulsed. Everything before that was referring to my brain, or rather what SHOULD be my brain but isn't, which I'd go into depth about but you honestly don't want to hear about.

    "When you try to draw trees, it comes to nothing, except for badly drawn trees."
    [Nivao]
    Excuse: She was watching me try to draw.
     
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  7. Niudo Despair Factioner Registered Senior Member

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    "If the glue is blue, then your heart is true, and let it rest at that."
    [Nivao]
    Excuse: Don't ask.
     
  8. Niudo Despair Factioner Registered Senior Member

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    257
    "With every leaf that falls, there comes death to 300 strip malls, therefore potatoes are yummy."
    [Niudo]
    Excuse: Er can I get back to you on that?

    "For every thorn on a rose, in a garden of millions, there is a bumblebee that wants to eat you."
    [Niudo]
    Excuse: Well, come on- did you ever WATCH Winnie-the-Pooh when you were a child?
     
  9. Niudo Despair Factioner Registered Senior Member

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    257
    "When a dead man rolls over, pigeons shall die."
    [Niudo]
    Excuse: I don't really like pigeons that much, and you always hear things like 'if you eat that parking meter without soy sauce, old grandpa Joshepine the transvestite will roll over in his... I mean her... I mean his... I mean, er, IT's... grave', so I pieced it together and got this. Pretty pathetic, really, but that's okay. Don't you think?
     
  10. Niudo Despair Factioner Registered Senior Member

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    257
    "During electrical storms, wire forks are dangerous."
    [Niudo]
    Excuse: You don't want me to explain what I was thinking right then. Let's just say it envolved chickens, braces, and Benjamin Franklin and let it rest at that.

    "When you live in Mordor, it's good to be ugly."
    [Nivao]

    "When you live in Rivendell, it's bad to be ugly."
    [Nivao]
    Nasty Comment: Sucks to be Liv Tyler, then...
     
  11. Niudo Despair Factioner Registered Senior Member

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    "If a koala eats a tulip, will it choke on its rice? Unless you can answer this question, considering yourself wise would be folly."
    [Niudo]
    Excuse: Er...

    Random Commentary: About here we lapse into the question stage. And if you don't like LOTR, I'm really really sorry.
     
  12. Niudo Despair Factioner Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    257
    "If we all looked like horses, would Liv Tyler still be ugly?"
    [Niudo]
    Excuse: I'm GLAD to take credit for this one. Let's just say I have significant problems with Liv Tyler, plus I can't spell. And in TTT, when she's crying, she totally looks like a horse. You can't deny it. No one can.

    "If we were all as greasy as Aragorn, would we still have invented PlayDoh?"
    [Niudo]
    Excuse: One question for Aragorn: do you bathe in grease, or do you just not bathe? And although PlayDoh is completely irrevelant, review our 'profound' thoughts... are there any that AREN'T?
     
  13. Mystech Adult Supervision Required Registered Senior Member

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    Just a comment on Vego, the guy who plays Aragorn in the movies: if you watch the extra crap on the DVDS or any interviews with him on TV, you realize that he's not doing any voice acting in the film, he acctualy does talk all serious and under his breath like that. It's qutie funny.
     
  14. Niudo Despair Factioner Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    257
    Yeah, I know. Believe me. And it's not Vego- it's Viggo. Mortensen.
    But don't feel bad, I'm a freak, so you not knowing this doesn't make you abnormal.

    Not that you were worried because you're probably one of those God-forsaken normal people. I'd envy you except I have too much trouble linking two thoughts together. Emotions are too high-tech. Sorry for any inconviences!

    And I bloody forgot the type-written sheets [I'm in study hall] so I can't post any more 'profound' thoughts until I get home, which will take too long but I'm sure we'll live.

    Anyhow, cheers, and I need a laugh- so please post!

    Oh, and Viggo's voice IS awesome.

    And if you watched the extended version, did you notice that Sean Bean is gay? Or was that just me?

    Just wondering.

    Bloody cheers.

    niudo
    ghost of mirkwood
     
  15. spookz Banned Banned

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    6,390
    well teacher, i wish to learn. will it? or will it not? my guess? not
    also since i usually i start off from the viewpoint that "i am ignorant" i guess i am not guilty of any folly.

    ps: i await a mindblowing explanation. do not disappoint. thanks. (why parapychology?)

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  16. Nivao Ghost of Mirkwood Registered Senior Member

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    Find It In You

    To know whether or not a Koala would choke on it's rice. You need to go into meditative trance for at least a month. You will find your answer. And once you do, it will be pure happiness.

    Namarie

    ~Nivao
    Ghost of Mirkwood

    "If life was all uphill, they wouldn't have invented roller blades, and Katie wouldn't have her problem."
    [nivao]

    Explanation: common sense.
     
  17. spookz Banned Banned

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    6,390
    zen is truly for the dolts amongst us
     
  18. Niudo Despair Factioner Registered Senior Member

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    NOW for your earth-shattering reply for the INTELLIGENT[ish] one who came up with the profoundness... ahem.

    Well, you see, koalas generally live in Kiwi-a-gogo land, correct? Okay, Australia. And really, tulips, I'd expect, aren't exactly the commonest of common around there. So if a koala WERE to eat a tulip, it might find it highly toxic and find its throat glands swelling because of this disastorous encounter, and therefore would choke on anything, even its rice.

    Or maybe it just doesn't like rice and chokes on it regardless to anything.

    Or maybe it doesn't eat rice.

    Or choke on it anyway, for that matter.

    So you see, there are endless possibilities, and not even the truly wise know the answer to this age-old riddle.

    Cheers, peace, and Coca-cola to all,

    niudo
     
  19. spookz Banned Banned

    Messages:
    6,390
    no you cant
    request the thread moved
     
  20. Niudo Despair Factioner Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    257
    "If everyone thought orcs were cute, would we still fear Micheal Jackson?"
    [Nivao]
    Nasty Comment: The orcs would.

    "If would was as soft as a kitten, would splinters be pleasant?"
    [Niudo]
    Excuse: Recalling past experiences and thinking wishfully. Not much else I can say, so anyone hoping for more about transvestites, sorry, that was yesterday...

    "Sleeves to the knees are a sign of power."
    [Niudo]
    Excuse: Come ON. Eowyn's dresses. Galadriel's. What's NOT to love? They're powerful! Lady of the Golden Woods, Lady of the Wood, whatever, and Shieldmaiden of Rohan, the no living man that was spoken of! Come ON! [You know, 'but no living man am I'? Er don't you?]

    "Potato chips are crunchy, but still nassssty."
    [Nivao]
    Excuse: Gollum.

    "I'm afraid of balloons because they taste like pickles."
    [I'd rather not say]

    "The dice in Niudo's room did never encounter dogs."
    [Nivao]
    Excuse: Fresh out.

    "Most people think that the sky is blue, and it is."
    [Nivao]
    Excuse: Er...

    "Soggy toast isn't crunchy."
    [Niudo]
    Excuse: Well, it isn't.

    "Do not leave unto your sons the questions that you could not answer, for if they are like you, they are also idiots and cannot answer the questions you might leave."
    [Niudo]
    Excuse: Oh come on, that one at least SOUNDS profound. Okay, LOOKS profound. Fine, fine, ISN'T profound, but let's pretend. Cheers to that!
     
  21. Niudo Despair Factioner Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    257
    "If you don't want to wear ripped jeans, buy new pants. Or wear khakis instead."
    [Niudo]
    Excuse: Doesn't need one. It's very self-explanatory. If you don't want to wear ripped jeans, wear ripped khakis. If you don't want to wear ripped khakis, go naked. Viola. [Not the instrument, er I mean voila.]

    "Leggie is a mouth-breather."
    [Nivao]
    Excuse: Well, technically, he is. Not the character but rather the actor. Sigh. Sad, sad truth.

    "Elrond should lose the headband if he doesn't want to be an immortal frog with eyebrows. I mean, he already looks like one, and before long the transformation just may be complete."
    [Niudo]
    Excuse: Have you seen that gag with Jack Black on the extended version? Well, you should.

    "Do finches taste like hotdogs when roasted over an open fire?"
    [Niudo]
    Excuse: Er.

    "**** ******* is the Arwen of mankind, only the King of Men would not want to marry her and she is less horselike."
    [Niudo]
    Excuse: Well if you saw 'Jane Doe' you'd agree. I don't want to publicly humiliate her only because then I could be linked back to her and you'd know that I was envious of her thighs. Well, I mean, they're practically nonexistent, and although I'm not superficial... have you ever seen an ELF with rather blobby thighs? Not that I'm an elf, but wearing long pants all the time gets hot and old, plus in gym we have shorts. Ugh.

    "Does Aragorn fancy horses or is he naturally greasy?"
    [Niudo]
    Excuse: Well I'm a bit hung up about his greasiness in the movies. You'd think he'd wash his hair at least ONCE when he wasn't in Rivendell. And that 'tumble off the cliff'? Well, at least it got his hair clean. But then he went into the battle of Helm's Deep and got it all nasty again. Remarkable talent- I mean, it was RAINING, and yet he STILL pulled King of Greasiness off.

    "If 'Pirates of the Carribean' is good, it will be the greatest movie ever."
    [Nivao]
    Excuse: Well, it stars Orlando Bloom. But we don't have to worry about it being the greatest movie ever, because it will of course suck, and of course Orlando's a love interest so the movie will be ruined for me, and because he's young and hot and in love with some kidnapped idiot who I already hate and I don't even know who's playing her, he will naturally be killed. But of course, I'm going to see it anyway. I'm ignorant enough, I can block out what I don't want to observe. So a rather brilliant quote for Niv-rhymes-with-Liv after all.

    Shipes, dinner. And I was nearly done, too. Ah well- that, my friend, is what study hall is for.

    Cheers!

    niudo
    ghost o' mirkwood
     
  22. Nivao Ghost of Mirkwood Registered Senior Member

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    213
    It Wasn't Zen

    You, my friend, are a stereotype. Of course, no need to feel bad, for you are not alone. Many people link meditation with Zen, but it is also for, Buddhist, Hindus, the Jafa (don't ask), people that do Yoga for RELAXATION, and those that are looking for 'the truth.'

    Niudo:
    Since when am I Niv-sounds-like-Liv? I'm hurt. I only signed 'niv' because I was in a hurry, and can never seem to type fast enough.

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  23. Niudo Despair Factioner Registered Senior Member

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    Ooh, I like it! You've got something going for you. Keep it up. You're profound.

    Feed it with excessive amounts of caffiene [don't worry about addictions, they're fun] and you'll be Buddha before sundown.

    Cheers!
     
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