Every Geek's Dream Come True - But What To Do?

[mjpython]

This post is quite complex and, consequently, quite long. Please be patient and read the amazing tale of the geek who ACTUALLY ATTRACTED A CHEERLEADER and didn't know how to handle it!

Here's the story. We're both seniors in high school, and we see each other a lot during the schoolday, so I guess some of my rich personality and charisma penetrated her tunnel vision (the one that usually only allows girls as good looking as her to see good looking guys). Anyway, one day she told me that I'm "interesting" and that she likes to listen to me talk. Curious, huh? Well, I suppose that I shouldn't characterize her as a cheerleader. She is one, but she's intelligent, and she's also a little too quiet and reserved for this position. Now, I didn't think much of her (what's the point for guys like me?) until she INVITED ME TO HER HOUSE to watch a movie. She followed this by providing me with her phone number. Well, needless to say, this baffled me. I went to this engagement not knowing what to expect. Well, she didn't throw herself at me, instead, she treated me like a pal. We watched the film and talked for a good while afterwards, and that was it. Nothing that would suggest a romantic interest. Did I neglect some crucial detail in this matter? Unfortunately, this is only the beginning. A few days later, she suggested that we go to the theatre to see another movie. OK, great. Now what? Well, I blindly invited her to dine with me before the film, and she accepted. We ate out, had a nice conversation, saw the film, and that was it. Nothing exciting happened. My question was, should it have? She's a shy girl and not prone to making physical advances, and neither am I. What am I to do? About a week later, I called her on a day off to talk to her and she casually told me that she'd teach me to ice skate and that I should come to a basketball game. OK, so there's another invitation. I'm doing something right!

Now I think I'll throw the curveball. She doesn't have a boyfriend, but she has two other significant guy friends, one of which is moving in on her as we speak. There's a dance this weekend, and he has plans to take her to an overnight cabin party with abundant alcohol and have his way with her. She agreed to this arrangement WITH knowledge of the details, and the worst thing is, I think she might, I emphasize might, satisfy his desires. She's had some experience sexually with her last boyfriend, and I think she's probably attracted to this guy. However, she told me that she "doesn't do bad stuff" and I know that she won't get drunk (I've seen evidence of a strong will and independence that stands up to peer pressure). Is it possible for her to come out of this affair untouched? Now, what I can't understand is, if she did have such a good relationship with this guy (I've seen no evidence of it whatsoever. He's sort of silly and would probably overestimate his chances.), why did she bring me so actively into the picture? I'm clueless. I called her this week when she missed school just to give her special attention and keep me in her mind if possible during this weekend's ordeal. What to do?

[spookz]

rohypnol

[mjpython]

rohypnol?

[spookz]

yes

[Clockwood]

gazoonheight

[Xev]

Spookz! My god, that's horrible. You should be ashamed of yourself!

*Cough* GHB

[chroot]

Special K? The drool helps fellatio.

- Warren

[Squid Vicious]

Gotta wonder what sort of Special K youre swallowing there, Chroot. Drool?

[NenarTronian]

No no you guys got it all wrong! Not rohypnal or just GHB. Try some Rohypnal mixed in alcohol, or ghb mixed in alcohol

jk of course...GHB with alcohol can cause unrousable sleep i've heard..:rolleyes:

[Neville]

If you really are a geek rjpython keep away from this girl. Girls have on the whole been protected their whole life and are unaware of the things that we lads see: "When a baby is born it naturally assumes that it is the centre of the universe..."- This Life. They assume that they are correct in their assumption that people can be trusted and as such she will try to get you to trust her and everyone because thats what she has been able to do. It will only end with you looking foolish.She will assume that because she can trust people then you can too.She will do this not because she is malicious but because 'she naturally assumes that she is at the centre of the universe' and thinks that she is correct because she knows nothing else. Take for example the fact that is you do something wrong to girls they just 'do it back to you' (like a child does :( ). If you try to talk about something that they dont want to hear they will do the same (only make stuff up because nothing has ever really happned to them). Never mind the fact that you might have needed her to know in order to feel fully accepted. The point is that she didnt want to hear it and how dare you introduce such horrible things into her pink elephant and lemonade life. You shouldnt mention such things becasue she doesnt want to hear it. You must keep it to yourself and live like a prisoner and let this girl lead you around like a little pet. She will ignore any of the things that have affected you (such as being a geek) because this doesnt fit in with her fantasy life. You must 'employ her lies' in order to make her happy otherwise she will find someone who will let her live her life in dreamland. Look at the way girls dont listen. This is because it will ruin there little fantasy view of the world so they remain ignorant and self-centred

(i dont know how many times this has been said!!)

[chroot]

Originally posted by Squid Vicious
Gotta wonder what sort of Special K youre swallowing there, Chroot. Drool?
Special K = ketamine, a horse tranquilizer. While I've never seen someone ON special K, I would imagine it would make them drool.

- Warren

[mjpython]

Thank you to spookz, chroot, and co. for vandalizing this post.

Neville - keep away from girls? Is that what you're saying? Hmm, that doesn't sound very plausible. Thanks for your reply though.

[fadingCaptain]

Hehe this is an amusing thread.

If you really want this girl, just tell her. She will either discard you like a used condom or admire your honesty. Either way, everyone will know where they stand. It probably sounds frightening, but just do it. Tell her you want her. Nothing is worse than having regrets...

[mjpython]

fadingCaptain - You're probably right. The miraculous thing about this situation is that I've already mostly let go of any hope of getting this girl after learning about her plans with the other guy. But I can't seem to shut out the tiny voice inside me that says, "Maybe she won't get involved with him." or "Maybe there's still a chance..." I've dealt with losing her, but I think there's a remote possibility that I might not, and that causes a problem. I only wish she weren't so inexpressive and puzzling in her seemingly illogical dealings with me. Why did she ask me out and give me her phone # with this guy already in the picture if she favored him in the first place? I can't get past that.

[Xerxes]

Yeah,

umm.. tell her that you want a more serious relationship. Its pretty simple

If she's not interested...then OH WELL.

no regrets ;)

[*stRgrL*]

You know MJ, she could think that you are not attracted to her. I know you dont think thats it, but from personal experiece if a guy made no attempt (holding hands, kissing, small remarks like "Ahh, when were old and gray we'll look back on this night" or whatever) at showing that he really liked me, I didnt think he did. I thought they just wanted to be friends and then years later they would say "Gosh I had the biggest crush on you". Like how was I supposed to know?!? Make a move Romeo! Whats there to lose.

Take care and good luck:)

[mjpython]

The consensus seems to be that I should let her know how I feel. Well, before I do that, I'd like to have a good idea what her response will be. She did initiate our relationship by giving me her number and asking me out. She even continued with little invitations to other dates at indefinite future times. But leading up to the big affair with the other guy, I get the idea that she has cooled off. Is it possible for a girl to be whimsical enough to want me one week and then forget about me the next?

[chroot]

Originally posted by mjpython
The consensus seems to be that I should let her know how I feel.
Fan-damn-tastic, kiddo.

Well, before I do that, I'd like to have a good idea what her response will be.
Why? She's already made up her mind about you. Nothing you say now will change it -- all you're trying to do is get her to make her feelings known.

She did initiate our relationship by giving me her number and asking me out. She even continued with little invitations to other dates at indefinite future times.
Friends often can be seeing enjoying time together. It is entirely plausible that, to her, you are hideous, disgusting, and quite pleasant to be around. You'll never know unless you ask.

But leading up to the big affair with the other guy, I get the idea that she has cooled off.
Perhaps it's because you always sit beside her with your thumb up your ass while she's trying desperately to coax you into wanting her.

Is it possible for a girl to be whimsical enough to want me one week and then forget about me the next?
If there's anything I know about women, it's that they're the most whimsical goddamn creatures ever.

- Warren

[wet1]

Dude,

You gotta get out on the limb. You will not know how she feels till you lay it out. Accept that and move to the next step. There are no guarentees in life. Just as you do not know for sure, neither does she know for sure as you have not taken a stance for her to know. The worse is to be rebuked, which I gather you are feeling right now. But you didn't make any step other than to go out with her. How is she to know how you feel? Better say something before it is to late.

The absolute worse that will happen is to be refused. The best is your dreams come true. So what will it be? Regret that you didn't try to grab this dream come true and wonder the rest of your life or sure knowledge of what the situtation is.

[Xerxes]

Yup, she wants you...
go after her.

Let me sum up what were trying to say in a mathematical equation (so that you can understand).

where x = the amount of pain you might experience

2x=regret
x=being rejected


therefore

regret=2(being rejected)

Girls are also evil you know

girls = time(money)
money=evil^-2
since time=money
girls=money^2=(evil^-2)^2=evil
therefore

girls=evil
!!!

make up your mind, otherwise we'll know that all you want is attention, and your best of getting it from her ;)

[chroot]

Originally posted by Elbaz
money=evil^-2
At least get it right... money = evil^(-1/2), or "money is the root of all evil." :rolleyes:

- Warren

[mjpython]

THIS JUST OCCURRED TO ME

Let me ask this, if this girl was attracted to me and wanted to be more than a friend, as is indicated, would she shy away from me after I called her when she was absent from school and told her I missed her that day? I thought this would be a sweet gesture and would indicate my intentions fairly clearly. Well, in the two days since I did this, she has shyed away. What's up with this?

[Xerxes]

ASK HER HOW SHE FEELS ABOUT. TELL HER YOU HAVE SOME FEELINGS ABOUT HER. TELL HER THAT SHES SENDING YOU MIXED SIGNALS AND THAT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT TO BELIEVE!!!!!!!!!!!

All women are like this.


LEMME ask you a question. do you really like HER? Or is she just some hottie you wanna sleep with, or both. Do you want her only because she wants you? If so then your in this for the wrong reasons.

If you really like her and want to see yourselves happy, than you should talk to her. Theres no harm in sharing your feelings. If you cant bring yourself to do this than it means one of two things. You're falling for her, shaking at her touch. OR you dont really like her. Decide. Before you can do anything you have to know WHY!!!

And don't come back until you know exactly that. BE GONE!!!!!!(lol, you can stay if you want to) ;)

[James R]

mjpython,

You have two basic options:

A. Tell her how you feel.
B. Give nothing away.

Possible outcomes in case A:

1. She feels the same about you and you're off and running.
2. She doesn't feel that way, but is happy to stay friends.
3. She is repelled by the idea of a romantic relationship with you and never talks to you again.

Possible outcomes in case B:

4. She wants you bad but nothing ever happens because she can't be sure you want her. She finds somebody else when she gets sick of waiting.
5. She wants to be friends. It works for a while, and you never find out if it could have gone further.
6. She only ever wanted friendship and nothing more. Things go on as normal.

Suppose you take option A. Outcome 1 is excellent. Outcome 2 is ok. Outcome 3 is not good, but the relationship was never going to get off the ground anyway so you have nothing to lose.

On the other hand, if you take option B, outcome 4 is less than ideal and doesn't improve things for you. Outcomes 5 and 6 are really a kind of limbo which you always regret later.

I highly recommend option A. It worked for me!

[spookz]

http://www-ee.eng.hawaii.edu/~alex/Images/ExpertFunClips/Caveman.gif

[notme2000]

NOW! Do something now! You are on the verge of missing the boat. Tell her your feelings, or ask her out BEFORE she goes to this party... This way she either cancels the party, or has you on her mind during the party. If you don't I can almost guarantee you'll be hearing all the details about how great her new boyfriend is, and become the "friend" and be stuck with that label from then on...

[mjpython]

UPDATE

I just found out that the cabin party after tonight's dance has been canceled. Fortunately, it's probably safe to say that my girl will not come to "know" her date in the Biblical sense tonight. I plan to get her out on another date next weekend and make some sort of advance this time. My only concern now is that my call of a few days ago (I called her and mentioned that I missed her when she was absent from school) may have frightened her off. The next two days brought decreasing warmness from her and I got the impression that she wasn't very enthusiastic about our relationship. Did I blow it, or is she just being moody, or what?

[notme2000]

Tough call. I been there. It could be 50/50. You'll be taking a chance, but isn't it worth it? Just don't come off as desperate. Kind of work yourself back in to her schedule, subtly, be your usual intelligent person. And just flirt, lightly. If she's receptive, day by day (now that the party's off) turn it up a notch. And eventually (don't wait too long, but don't suprise her with it right away, use your best judgement), ask her out! Good luck man! Keep us updated!

[Xev]

Knock her unconscious with a blunt object and rape her?

[Xerxes]

haha, best advice yet.


thens theres the legal issues, but they can wait... ;)

[chroot]

Originally posted by Xev
Knock her unconscious with a blunt object and rape her?
That's what I always do. *shrug* Of course, being startled awake ten times a night by passing sirens is not exactly fun, either.

- Warren

[Xev]

That's why you bind her with electrical tape and stuff her in your trunk, then drive to a secluded site.

Duh!

/is sure she will be haunted by the ghosts of post-feminist scholors for this advice

[TruthSeeker]

mjpython,


Why did she ask me out and give me her phone # with this guy already in the picture if she favored him in the first place? I can't get past that.

Simple, ask her. Ask her everything you want. Never assume anything. Communication is the first thing you must develop in a relationship. If you want to go out with her better tell her, and before even telling her, better know her better. Do you want her because she is pretty or because you like the way she looks like? Do you like her personality or her body? Can you live without her? If the answer for the last question is no, better get away from her as fast as you can, otherwise you might get dependent on her. There's nothing worse then be dependent on a girl (they are usually very... unbalanced with the matters of relationships...:bugeye::eek: ).

If you love her because she is a nice girl, go for it. Just don't frighten her by going too fast. If you "love" her because of her body, then forget about her. But if you don't even know how she is inside, then better look at yourself and see what you are really looking for - a body or a partner.

[My Sexy Blue Feet]

yeah, from a chick perspective, if she's gone a bit funny, calm it down a bit, cause she's probably a bit confused about how she's feeling. on the other hand, chicks always need confirmation on stuff, cause we've got the whole female insecurity thing happening

[James R]

I want an update. Where are you, mjpython?