Stryder
10-16-02, 06:37 PM
(Lovely egocentric title I might add)
Okay, I know this is personal, I know I could launch this on a website, but I know full well it's better to place it open infront of the forum members.
Some of you kind of know and most have replied some very useless answers in the past, and I don't expect that will change in this instance.
(when I say usless I mean the rhetorical attempts to explain difference to "what I know", since this isn't "theory".)
I have for about 3 years suffered from what I class or have classed as an experiment. Over this time my thoughts on what has been going on has evolved over the who and why of what has been happening.
I have at times acted very abruptly in some of my posts to point this out, and in doing so it has probably got my ostracized by a few of the forums members.
I have over the 3 years realised that I and many others have been lied to. I believed these people to be this or that, and they have continued to refrain from telephoning, e-mailing, sending letters or contacting me in person.
They have been the main reason for my theorisation in Parallel Universes/Multiworlds, purely from wondering why there was no contacting, until I realised that the only people that wouldn't contact because of "Secrecy" would be of military origin.
During this time though, I have spoken to many of them. I realise that I've alienated the Guys purely because I classed them as students due to their insubordination, but I realise now that was probably just a ruse to continue the concealment of their identity as a group.
Admittedly I don't think the guy's took it too kindly about arguing their sexual orientation.
The Ladies on the otherhand I have tried to maintain virtuous relationship, because I would rather face 10 upset men than 1 upset woman.
Over the 3 years though, the Ladies that have watched me "deal with this odd situation", have seen my mood changes, and how I've suffered from feeling entrapped without any form of escape from continued "Comms chatter".
(I say comms chatter, but I mean 24/7 Observation combined with Talk, be it to me or to each other. Also merged with what I first thought was a Dat Machine, but it seems it's moved on to Artificial Intelligence)
For those of you that don't know how I mean, you could look up the past posts, but they are inaccurate. Since afterall I'm working in the dark and can only feel around for information rather than being told. I'm sure I would have kept a lid on the information if it had been presented, but since I have been left to a guessing game, I had decided that it was best I present the information in return for the distrust.
The chatter is "Internal" it can't be seen, but could possibly be heard with the right pickup, the problem then is it's encoded to my brain functions to generate sounds and sight, not to forget movements against my will.
I had been attempting to find some way of just stopping it, but I realise that I can't. In recent months what I have been subjected to had in fact worsened, with some calm periods where I lost my rag from the continued noise (high pitched, to force my neurological patterns into a conformed shape) and incessant mockery of "Turn this... OFF!".
I have recently been pushed far further than I had recently, resulting in numerous injuries, that are resulting in a loss of memory as just one ailment.
Throughout all this, throughout the injuries that would appear to the outside world self inflicted but are in retaliation to torture, and sometimes consist of injuries spawn by movements against my will. I have noticed that although I had commented upon the Ladies of the groups empathy, they do in fact care. I noticed that the injuries that were inflicted were in fact making the Lady in this case sound very upset (tearful in fact) and I in turn wanted to stop, but just needed release.
(I felt bad for upsetting the Lady, i've apologised already, but I apologise again in text, at least.)
Still though I know the Lady can not contact me for one reason or another, and they still refuse to give a good enough reason as to why not.
There are a few conclusions that fit all that has happened to me together, (some are real possibilities, others are truly remarkable parallels of what it could be.)
It could be the group is of military origin, the studies have been so varied and seem to follow alot of torturous paths. this sort of torture either means they are trying to enlist me in the S.S. , Or their use of keeping me confused and naming others, torture, and not leaving me alone proves that a certain military group could be classed by religious leaders as the "Devil Incarnate".
They could have been how I originally believed, a particular university with particular staff, But I really don't think that such a university would participate in the torture, or for that matter the staff.
It could be an independant company that has done something that would spawn differences in our universe from interaction with me at some past point, but they have stayed totally clear of any contact.
I pretty much believe that it has to be military or academic for the need of a number of antennas to make an array, the 24/7 observation and the fact that they have been allowed to torture does point to military.
Although I have sent letters to particular "groups", the replies aren't very helpful with a mixture of "We don't do that" to "it's not possible".
Okay, I know this is personal, I know I could launch this on a website, but I know full well it's better to place it open infront of the forum members.
Some of you kind of know and most have replied some very useless answers in the past, and I don't expect that will change in this instance.
(when I say usless I mean the rhetorical attempts to explain difference to "what I know", since this isn't "theory".)
I have for about 3 years suffered from what I class or have classed as an experiment. Over this time my thoughts on what has been going on has evolved over the who and why of what has been happening.
I have at times acted very abruptly in some of my posts to point this out, and in doing so it has probably got my ostracized by a few of the forums members.
I have over the 3 years realised that I and many others have been lied to. I believed these people to be this or that, and they have continued to refrain from telephoning, e-mailing, sending letters or contacting me in person.
They have been the main reason for my theorisation in Parallel Universes/Multiworlds, purely from wondering why there was no contacting, until I realised that the only people that wouldn't contact because of "Secrecy" would be of military origin.
During this time though, I have spoken to many of them. I realise that I've alienated the Guys purely because I classed them as students due to their insubordination, but I realise now that was probably just a ruse to continue the concealment of their identity as a group.
Admittedly I don't think the guy's took it too kindly about arguing their sexual orientation.
The Ladies on the otherhand I have tried to maintain virtuous relationship, because I would rather face 10 upset men than 1 upset woman.
Over the 3 years though, the Ladies that have watched me "deal with this odd situation", have seen my mood changes, and how I've suffered from feeling entrapped without any form of escape from continued "Comms chatter".
(I say comms chatter, but I mean 24/7 Observation combined with Talk, be it to me or to each other. Also merged with what I first thought was a Dat Machine, but it seems it's moved on to Artificial Intelligence)
For those of you that don't know how I mean, you could look up the past posts, but they are inaccurate. Since afterall I'm working in the dark and can only feel around for information rather than being told. I'm sure I would have kept a lid on the information if it had been presented, but since I have been left to a guessing game, I had decided that it was best I present the information in return for the distrust.
The chatter is "Internal" it can't be seen, but could possibly be heard with the right pickup, the problem then is it's encoded to my brain functions to generate sounds and sight, not to forget movements against my will.
I had been attempting to find some way of just stopping it, but I realise that I can't. In recent months what I have been subjected to had in fact worsened, with some calm periods where I lost my rag from the continued noise (high pitched, to force my neurological patterns into a conformed shape) and incessant mockery of "Turn this... OFF!".
I have recently been pushed far further than I had recently, resulting in numerous injuries, that are resulting in a loss of memory as just one ailment.
Throughout all this, throughout the injuries that would appear to the outside world self inflicted but are in retaliation to torture, and sometimes consist of injuries spawn by movements against my will. I have noticed that although I had commented upon the Ladies of the groups empathy, they do in fact care. I noticed that the injuries that were inflicted were in fact making the Lady in this case sound very upset (tearful in fact) and I in turn wanted to stop, but just needed release.
(I felt bad for upsetting the Lady, i've apologised already, but I apologise again in text, at least.)
Still though I know the Lady can not contact me for one reason or another, and they still refuse to give a good enough reason as to why not.
There are a few conclusions that fit all that has happened to me together, (some are real possibilities, others are truly remarkable parallels of what it could be.)
It could be the group is of military origin, the studies have been so varied and seem to follow alot of torturous paths. this sort of torture either means they are trying to enlist me in the S.S. , Or their use of keeping me confused and naming others, torture, and not leaving me alone proves that a certain military group could be classed by religious leaders as the "Devil Incarnate".
They could have been how I originally believed, a particular university with particular staff, But I really don't think that such a university would participate in the torture, or for that matter the staff.
It could be an independant company that has done something that would spawn differences in our universe from interaction with me at some past point, but they have stayed totally clear of any contact.
I pretty much believe that it has to be military or academic for the need of a number of antennas to make an array, the 24/7 observation and the fact that they have been allowed to torture does point to military.
Although I have sent letters to particular "groups", the replies aren't very helpful with a mixture of "We don't do that" to "it's not possible".