Alpha behavior applies to the home . . .

Discussion in 'Human Science' started by charles brough, Apr 25, 2011.

  1. charles brough Registered Senior Member

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    Animal behavior varies from species to species of course, but in social group*animals such as the chimp, there is a pattern of behavior that is almost universal. That includes us.

    An example: in most groups, especially the higher primates, the presence of a coterie of Alphas is indispensable to the viability of the group. If the Alphas are not patrolling its periphery, keeping the juveniles in check, and punishing those who do not reciprocate, the females, especially those*with offspring, feel insecure, restless and eventually leave the group.* Also, if there is too*much struggle for*alpha control and it endangers the offspring, the females present and, in any way they can, try to distract and calm the antagonists.* In the case of a lone and abusive*male, the females, in contrast, may gang up on him, bite him enough to strip him of his alphaness and leave him*sub-dominant.*

    That helps understand human social relationships as well.* For example, a man writes into a newspaper column for help. He has been long married and they have small children. She is at home and takes care of them while the husband works at the office. His problem is that his wife often criticizes him for not being more ambitious at work and that he is a "yes man." He does not know what to do because he sees no problem other than here complaining.
    The columnist recommends that he "open a dialogue with her" and that his eagerness to solve the problem insures he will succeed.*
    *
    Actually, it is guaranteed to make it worse.* She complains because she feels insecure and with low status because he seems too "weak," unaggressive (unambitious).* The female is always intuitively sensitive to inadequate leadership, lack of drive, and lack of self-confidence. If the male does not improve along those lines as children come into the picture, the wife feels growing insecurity.

    So, what is his solution? If he reacts to her angrily, she senses it is because he knows she is right and that he is trying to become more alpha just by targeting her instead of other males. It is a sure sign of weakness and leads either to aggressive family fighting, or it leads to his self-perceived "success" by beating and subduing her.* These two reactions are common and both are failures.

    The only way for the husband is to listen to her complains with real interest silently*without defending himself.* He needs to* smile*and say, "yes dear" whenever a response is needed.*

    "You need to* . . . . . . . " she says.

    "Yes dear," he replies calmly with a smile each time.

    Soon she*realizes he is only*humoring her, and begins to criticize him for humoring here and for not dealing seriously with her concerns.
    "Honey," I'm humoring you because there is no problem. I am providing for and protecting the family.* I am not going to change and do not*need to.*We are secure and our future is bright.

    His self-confidence is reassuring . . .

    brough
    civilization-overview dot com
     
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  3. Fraggle Rocker Staff Member

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    Do you live on the moon? Your description of human relationships is 100% stereotype. You've been warned about trolling before, and here you are doing it again. There is absolutely nothing scientific or scholarly about that post. You should be embarrased to have your name on it.
     
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  5. Me-Ki-Gal Banned Banned

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    Yeah what Fraggle said . Dude you better listen to you Wife , sentinel females will eat you alive like the black widow does . There is way more to the herd of humans than you can even imagine. For one thing you need to make sure you always have a blank stare on your face when you talk to her. Tell your self over and over again you are nothing with out her pushing you to make something out of your self . Try getting some self motivation. Listening is key, doing is also key
     
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  7. Mrs.Lucysnow Valued Senior Member

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    This 'yes dear, yes dear' business you're advocating would lead to a walloping from most women. Most women want to hear what he thinks and feels and why. If she thinks he is wrong and if she thinks his decisions will place the security of the family and herself she will eventually leave.
     
  8. Stoniphi obscurely fossiliferous Valued Senior Member

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    I agree that the statement and model are stereotypical and errant. Neither people or animals are a simple as some of us seem to think they are.
     

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