2010 DARWIN AWARDS You've been waiting for them with bated breath, so without further ado, here are the 2010 Darwin Awards. Ninth Place In Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys. Eighth Place A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when he ran", accidentally jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily run. Seventh Place While at the beach, Daniel Jones, 21, dug an 8 foot hole for protection from the wind and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom, when it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach used their hands and shovels trying to get him out but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital. Sixth Place Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he fell through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth to keep his hands free rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor. Fifth Place Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger. Fourth Place After stepping around a marked police patrol car parked at the front door, a man walked into H&J Leather & Firearms intent on robbing the store. The shop was full of customers and a uniformed officer was standing at the counter. Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a hold-up and fired a few wild shots from a target pistol. The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, and several customers also drew their guns and fired. The robber was pronounced dead at the scene by Paramedics. Crime scene investigators located 47 expended cartridge cases in the shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds. Ballistics identified rounds from 7 different weapons. No one else was hurt. HONORABLE MENTION Paul Stiller, 47, and his wife Bonnie were bored just driving around at 2 A.M. So they lit a quarter stick of dynamite to toss out the window to see what would happen. Apparently they failed to notice that the window was closed. RUNNER UP Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from a local bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more excited and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 AM. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge, they discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay nearby. They secured one end around Bingham's leg and then tied the other to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. Bingham's foot was never located. AND THE WINNER IS..... Zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt (Paderborn, Germany) fed his constipated elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally got relief. Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded. The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground where he struck his head on a rock as the elephant continued to evacuate 200 pounds of dung on top of him. It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that proves... 'Shit happens' IT ALWAYS SEEMS IMPORTANT TO THANK THESE PEOPLE FOR REMOVING THEMSELVES FROM THE GENE POOL
She is stupid and uninformed but she is not monumentally stupid like the people who make it into the Darwin awards. They are world-class idiots.
Actually, the zookeeper couldn't have known that would happen, he was just trying to help an animal. My vote goes for that idiot in a electric scooter who ran over and over into elevator doors until they opened and he fell down the shaft.
I agree, the zoo keeper was doing his job and should no more be there than a cop who stops a car only to be gunned down. I'm not even sure the Guy at the beach should be there, sure 8 feet is excessive but who wouldn't think digging a hole for protection from the wind was a good idea
The dynamite thing could have been a suicide pact, or a murder/suicide. 4th and 5th place were the dumbest, shooting yourself and robbing a gun store with a cop car inside, the bungee guy was at least drunk. The rest seem like just bizarre accidents.
I pretty much agree with you.. But, I think you have to add #8 as well...I really wouldn't consider running right off of a cliff, just a "bizarre accident". It's pretty dumb.
And it's true: Entry #2 (the "totally zoned" stockbroker who ran off a cliff) was reported by the San Francisco Chronicle in 1996: Family members say San Francisco stockbroker Jack Sullivan followed a pattern in his life, and the one day he broke the routine it killed him. A beautiful San Francisco day persuaded Sullivan to take his normal Sunday jog a day early on a different route. The path he chose below the Lincoln Park golf course was a treacherous one, and Sullivan apparently misjudged it. Witnesses saw him jog down the coastal trail next to the 17th hole, turn and run off the cliff at the Eagle Point overlook. His body was found 200 feet below. [Sullivan's wife] said she was convinced her husband hadn't committed suicide, saying he was happy with his life and had made plans to play golf with a friend the following day. A more likely explanation, she said, is that her husband wasn't concentrating on the path because he was collecting his thoughts and making plans. "Jack totally zoned when he ran," Catherine Sullivan said. "He usually ran with a little tape recorder that he would talk into, because that's how he got his ideas."
The dynamite thing was also true: Entry #6, the story of the clueless self-dynamiters, is true, says the Associated Press. Around 2 a.m. on the morning of 30 September 1996, Paul and Bonnie Stiller were injured by an explosion in their car when the quarter-stick of dynamite Paul was holding went off in his hand. The couple's plan had been to light the stick and throw it from the car window, but alas, they lit the explosive before rolling down the window. Mrs. Stiller was treated then released, but Mr. Stiller was admitted to Newton Memorial Hospital with unspecified injuries. The police report said the couple had been drinking, and Mrs. Stiller was charged with driving under the influence. The Stillers were both charged with possession of explosives in a vehicle, and police said two more quarter-sticks of dynamite were found at the couple's home. http://www.snopes.com/horrors/freakish/darwin06.asp
Ooh. That's harsh. King David of Scotland went the same way, actually, rushing home to see his sick wife. Devoted husband, piss-poor horseman.
