Of the trillion living plants, animals and insects that reside on Earth, I get to be human. Of all of the places I could have been conceived, I am a natural-born US citizen. On top of that, I am a straight white male. I've never known hunger, violence, or predjudice. I'm healthy, have a beautiful girlfriend, friends I consider family, and top-notch broadband internet access. The kicker is that I'm horribly depressed, been so for five years. My question is - has anyone ever felt guilty over being depressed? How have you dealt with the feeling of selfishness that comes along with being both depressive and lucky?
Depression itself gives you that feeling at times. I suffer from depression but have found a good doctor that prescribed very good medications, Lithium and Wellbutrin. It took a few months to get the doses corrct but once they were in balance they worked well to keep me from getting into the manic stage of depression. I still suffer but not as bad as before.
Feelings of guilt are a part of depression. Depression is a chemical imbalance in your brain. You didn't choose to be depressed, just like you're not choosing to feel guilt. I've had depression for years. I used to get the same guilty feeling. I really don't anymore because I have had to tell myself that I have depression. I cannot help being this way. Yes there are many people who are worse off than me, but that does not make my feelings invalid. This is my own personal struggle in life, and I'm not going to feel bad about it. It's not selfish, it's a chemical imbalance that I was born with and have no control over. What you're experiencing is very common for depressed individuals. You get depressed, then you feel guilt over something. The guilt makes you feel bad, which makes you feel like a bad person, which in turn makes you feel more depressed, which makes you feel more guilt over other things and the cycle goes on and on. Are you on any medications? Seeing a therapist?
