Question for the educated

ok so i've been doing research and nothing leads to whats going on with me, now to begin i would like to say that yes i do believe i might be going insane, but i would like to hear what a scientific community has to say about it, here goes

i am a musician, not successful in any way, but niether am i an ametuer, i am in my mid 20's and i lived and continue to live a pretty normal and healthy life, my only addiction was cigarettes (quit about a year ago) and in high school i smoked a few joints here and there... just giving a breif and basic description on my life. About 3 month's ago i was deeply focused in my music, and when i say focused i mean i can hear every single note on any song that you would play me, and as a songwriter i've been humming ryhtms and melodies all day. Well this time around i felt so focused i almost fell into a trance, as if i was just lost in the music, a vibration up my spine into my brain occured, almost like a warm sensation climbing up my back into my skull. Then out of nowhere i could see air moving. I really can't explain it but it was as if i could see molecules and atoms and they were shifting, and i could follow their directions with my eyes, then i would stare at them and i could almost notice them forming into some kind of light source, but not light, more like a glow, or like luminescent(spl?). I stared and i could see about 5 or 6 of these "air-moving" spaces around me with light manifesting from it, as any normal person i felt a little startled and jumped back, wiped my eyes, when i opened it would slowly start to form again, and i could follow these "air-moving" spaces, i went outside of my apartment, thinking i was just so concentrated in my music that i needed some fresh air. I come back inside and these "air-moving" spaces come towards me, i mean literally rush towards me at a tremendous speed and i could feel cold. Now keep in mind this was 3 month's ago and i have never experienced anything like this, and since this began it has continued, except now i can actually almost feel when it's about to happen, like i said in the beginning i believe i am going insane or forming some sort of psychosis or schitzophrenia, i haven't been to the doctors for the simple fact that i don't want to get wrongfully diagnosed with anti-psychotics that could possibly ruin the way of life i have, which is pretty much healthy, sane and very happy. It hasn't become a problem to where it ruins my day to day functions, infact it almost always happens when im deeply involved with my music, almost at a state of total focus and concentration, but i can anticipate it now and know when it will occur, i asked a couple people i know personally and a few said i might be stressed (but i dont feel stressed, and consider myself pretty happy), other said it might be some sort of hallucinating mental disorder at it's earliest stages, but again i can aticipate and it only occurs when i focus, and occasionally i get those "ghost or spirits" comments, im more of a see it to believe it kind of guy so yeah, before i go to a psychiatrist or doctor i would like to know what a scientific community would say about it... Thanks for your time and sorry for the long post, i wanted to try and explain my problem to the fullest extent possible.

Johnny

 

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waow, that happened to me many times too! i mean, see the water vapor in the air, or just see the air moving, not actually the air, but, the movement, somehow, like, idon't know, ghosts or spirits ? leave that bullshit aside. and it could be, something, sicologic, but i don't know, but many times when it's little humide, or before rain, i can see the water vapor in the air, even that it'ds not much and i'm not living in a humid area, but, well, it wasn't lately, can't remeber when, but it didnt happen to me once, but many times. when i was a kid, i used to now if it going to rain, or being windy, or something, i was like, a weather broadcast

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just by smelling the air and the ground dust, and, other times just feel it, now not many times, just, well, i can't know the weather how it will be like when i was a kid
sometimes i say a word or a phrase unconsiously, just got in my mind and say it, and just a few moments later, i hear someone said it, or i hear it in tv or something, weird ha?

ps: an adive, don't make your self exauhsted or tired, in music, you should be relaxed, and feel it, i mean, to feel like you want to, and be happy and peace in mind, well, not only in music

 

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and i don't really think it's a question for only "educated"

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there are many weird things that happends to me, even laughing loud when i'm sleeping, laughing alot too

 

thanks for sharing shadow, i also talk in my sleep, and it's funny you mention the vapor because now coming to think of it it's almost like you described, except when i see it it's more like a mirage in intense heat weather, air gets wavy, but it moves, and i can follow it, also i didnt mean anything on the "question for the educated" i should've phrased the title "question for the educated in psychology" maybe as my post was trying to get scientific advise from a psychological stand-point, and yea the ghost thing i don't pay too much attention too, i like to be a man of reason and logic, but yea im not too good on prediciting things but i can anticipate when this is going to happen, and as for my music and my work ethic i am completely relaxed, to the point i believe i just tune the whole world out and get deeply involved with my harmonies and rythms, and i can't really exhaust myself with music because i am so passionate about it, but i kind of get what you're saying, well anyways thanks for sharing shadow!

Johnny

 

What you described is very similar to the experiences of persons who pursue a type of yoga called Kundalini Yoga. That thrill up the spine is what they are trying for with their practice of yogic stretches and meditation. That thrill up the spine is what they call the "kundalini energy rising up the chakras".

I have had similar experience when 'getting into' playing a tune myself before. Since I also meditate I recognize the semi - hallucinogenic aspect of what you are 'seeing' as well. The breakup/pixellation of your visual field is a common experience. This because that is actually how we see from the mass of individual photo cells in our eyes.

That relaxed, semi - stoned groove is why real musicians play and the hallucinations/illusions are part of the music (or any art) trip. Many of us find inspiration in that state of mind.

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We are all crazy, it is just a matter of degree. Don't let it upset you, this experience is common enough, enjoy it as you are able.

 

stoniphi i thank for giving me a little reassurance that i am not going crazy, i don't know anything about yoga but i might have to look into that because what you described was the exact same feeling i get, sort of trance-like, semi-stoned state is what i am feeling, i'm feeling much better knowing i am not alone, thanks for sharing stoni!

Johnny

 

In neurology, cannaboid's attach themselves to the receptors while dopamine increases the amount of neural relays. They don't just disappear over night, in fact this is something that most stoner's tend not to appreciate but the chemicals themselves can stay present for weeks after inhaling/ingesting. During the period of usage and the time it takes to "decay", the brain can develop differently in reference to the drugs effect.

Certain repetitive stimuli sources like Music or a musical instrument can also find itself weaved into the structure, which means various sounds or patterns can trigger smaller occurrences of how the drug initially function artificially.

There are other various factors too, if you smoked cannabis then you likely smoked tobacco with it, tobacco obviously outputs nicotine and the more destructive component tar Nicotine can factor in as a stimuli that can also be proportion of a trigger.

It's likely while you were playing you had smoked a cigarette, so you have two components to a formula to generate a reaction, the absence of cannabis can however be synthesised if a person suffers from Insomnia, eating disorders or dehydration (even personal hygiene can play a part). If you placed any of those into the formula then you are likely to get the quasi-hallucination effect.

I personally wouldn't bother with psychiatrists just yet. If you are finding this a problem, try sleeping properly, eating properly, hydrating yourself and staying away from cannabis and possibly cigarettes. If you can do this for a few months you will either find that you won't suffer from the concern of a trance like state or you will find yourself continuing to have it. (If it's the latter, then you should consult a doctor because you will have ruled out what could of caused it.)

Also be very careful you don't become too obsessed with what visuals you saw, after all your depiction of an Atom is based upon your knowledge of what an atom is, if you were to look closer at the history of the discovery of the atom and move through to present day hypothesis and visual reconstruction, you'll likely find that your visual doesn't accurately represent what an atom is.

 

wow thanks for the information stryder, but i only smoked pot a couple times in high school and that's been well over 7 years ago, and i quit smoking cigarettes almost a year now, and this started happening 3 months ago, but aside from the tobacco and drugs, since it's clearly not the cause, can musical patterns really trigger such hallucinations? and the atom part made me laugh a little since you are totally correct as in i would have no idea what atoms or molecules looked like, but it's the easiest way to explain what i was seeing, i mean i didn't see actual molecules or atoms as i know this is impossible with the naked eye, but the way the air moved was as if the atoms in the air we're excited, yea i know, makes no sense, and it's really hard to try to explain, i think a better example would be like looking into a mirage on a hot summer day, you see how you can see the air waving? now imagine that mirage in motion, it's almost like the molecules in the air were dancing.... ? lol it's very hard to explain, and i keep using the words molecules and atoms because i don't know what else word to use to explain the little tiny air particles i can see moving, but that's the closest thing i can come up with, a moving heat mirage let's just say, but i thank you for your post as it was very insightful.

Johnny

p.s. i sleep well, about 6-10 hours a night/day, i work night shift so im usually up all night and sleep through the day, and my eating habits are pretty normal, maybe a little too much junk food here and there but my metabolism seems to eat it up pretty well

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on thing i have to keep in mind is not becoming too obsessed with the hallucination, as i do stare at them when they occur which causes further manifestation of light.... does that even make sense??? i don't know but yea thanks for the help guys!!!

 

This could actually be many things. One could be retinal detachment. No this does not mean you are going blind. Any time we squint or strain our eyes we lossen the edges of our regtinas causing fluid to build up behind them. This can one often does cause the appearance of glowing lights in spots or trails in front of our vision. This goes away in time and can take anywhere from minutes to days to dissipate. There is also a form of paracite that can reside in the fluid of your eye that can cause similar vision conditions but it is rare. If you tend to practice in an area with a high electromagnetic field it could effect your brain and cause these symptoms. You could be haunted try doing an evp recording when you practice to see if you get any strange voices. You could also be accessing the unconscious portion of your brain causing a form of waking dream where you are seeing your mind process your music and desire to become a better musician.

Hope something in this helps.

 

well, i don't beleive in that shkra thing and yoga that makes you able to fly! or, to leave your body however it is...

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what about who don't smoke or even take drugs! like me, many weird things happen to me many times.
also, there are many people, including me, when someone is looking at them, hey can just fell it unconsiouly and turn to find someone looking at him/her.

yes i think you're right in this, atoms are very very very small, you can't see them with your eyes, never see them with your eyes, and if you did, you wan't see the rest of the surrounding as, items, bu you'll see everything as atoms since you saw that much close, infact, you may only see that tiny area you're looking at, anyway, it's impossible to say atoims, but, he didnt mean atoms i think, i think he meant more like, well, like i said in a previous post of myne

 

yeah i talk when i'm sleeping many times,

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my ant saw two people died, well, not in the salme time, in two dreams, in different days, anyway, not dying, but, saw the house and alot of people, gother, like when a person dies, adn she saw the house and etc... guess what, she saw it in her dream, and saw the place too! her son, saw many times in he's dream, something to happen in he's day, like, get expelled from the glass hour, or, get a result, it happened to him twice, it's really weird.
it passed to me many times, when a day, happends exactly like another day i had before, same people i see, same road i walk in it and same street, wich i don't pass from it always or usually, same luch, well, a part of the day, exactly the same,my best friend too happened to him, wait, not just that, even the same weather and time!

 

lol, i got what do you mean, and it seems to be like mariguana or something, haha :m:

maybe you should also try some eyes doctor, i don't know, sometimes, when i sit on the bed, take a small nap, and when i wake up, i see everything black for seconds, and some times i feel like i'm falling while i'm sleeping

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my uncle when he was teen, was walking while he's sleeping, even go out of the house! lol
anyway, do you mean like, i said, i mean, that time, when sometimes when i wake up from a nap i don't see for a few seconds and feel my head is turning or going round and round

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? maybe it have a medical explenation, and yes, maybe it's some old drugs affects, nothing is weird these days, there's a guy who had a plant growed in he's lung! well, started to make roots, but they removed it

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you cant see atoms nor molecules. It just cannot be done. Even in real life we cannot "see" atoms. I know there is research in that area but for now it is impossible.

There are 1000 trillion synaptic connections in your brain with 50 to 100 billion neurons. To put it in perspective, the nvidia Geforce 480 GTX which is a high end graphics card only has around 3.2 billion transistors, and that is A LOT of transistors for a single chip. This is also part of the reason why robots and artificial intelligence are entirely unrealistic at this time simply because computers do not have nearly the processing power of the human brain.

Your symptoms can be as simple as a dozen or so neurons or synaptic connections that glitched up.

The fact that the brain is as reliable as it is can be described as a miracle. 1,000 trillion connections and 50-100 billion nodes and they function twenty four seven. That really is incredible considering that it can function for half a century to a century or more without any sort of maintenance.

I don't think that there is any other man made system of that scale with that kind of reliability and with that amount of ability.

The internet in 2008 was estimated to have just over 1000 billion users with 500 million regular users (people that used it at least once a week) and around 150 million websites.

If you compare each person to a connection and each website to a neuron then even the internet, arguably the most significant advancement in recent history is only a fraction of the size of a human brain.

Your brain is so ridiculously complex that your symptoms could be as small as a few neurons from your ears crossing over to neurons for optical processing

 

There are a variety of visual phenomena that fit this part of your experience as well. I get them too.

http://www.sciforums.com/showthread.php?t=81360&page=2

~Raithere

 

I would not lean towards schizophrenia. If that was what was occuring, I would imagine you would be experiencing less anxiety about the problem. Schizophrenics tend to see the strange phenomena that they experience as "normal". And something that other people just don't notice or see. I haven't read this thread very thouroughly, because I am at work and don't have the time to really read it. But from the quick glance, it sounds like it could be a form of synesthesia. I would post a link, but this POS computer doesn't even allow it for some reason. Just wiki it. I experience mild synesthesia with looking at things and experiencing smells. (it makes looking at porn pretty interesting

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At any rate, try not to stress about it cause that will probably only make the problem worse. Don't hesitate to go to the doctor. The chances of a misdiagnosis are actually pretty slim, and if you just tell the doctor flat out that you dont want to take meds they should respect that. They really can't force you into anything, unless they feel that you are a danger to yourself or others. They will probably be able to give you some insight into whats going on.

 

I would back up Fraggle here. Do not be afraid to seek professional help.

These forums are not designed for diagnosing and treating illnesses, and anyone who gives that kind of advice over this, or other forum, is being most irresponsible. It is impossible to diagnose properly that way. It is not even possible to give a complete and clear story of any ailment over the forum. Often symptoms require follow up tests, which can only be done by a professional.

No-one here can tell you how serious, or otherwise, your potential problem is. You must make your own decision. If you think it is serious, then forget all the well-meaning, but essentially stupid advice you get on this forum, and go consult the appropriate medical professional. Maybe a GP first, so that he can direct you to the best specialist if that is required.

 

ok so i asked a few questions today pertaining the "yoga" stuff and im not ready to dive into that field just yet (i was told these were beings from another dimension????) i just can't grasp my head around that idea, so i will be seeing a doctor then, i feel a little less defensive now knowing they can't really make you take pills unless your a danger to yourself or others, which i'm not in any way, and i must say you guys have been a great help and also have given me some sort of confidence that i needed to seek professional help, well i have to get to work so i will keep this post short, thank you everyone for replying and giving your honest opinions.

Johnny

p.s. i understand some people wish not to diagnose people since it is illegal, but i was just asking for advice, not medical advice but from a scientific point of view, also a few posts down i explain as it couldn't possibly be atoms since they're impossible to see with the naked eye, it's just the best way i can describe i guess, but either way thank you for your comments, the information was invaluable

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... have a great day/evening/night everyone

p.s.s. one quick message and i got to get going, to Raithere, it's not floaters, i know exactly what floaters are and this is not floaters, and to queengeek, if it were in my eye wouldn't i not be able to follow them? since it's in your eye once i change my view wouldn't i be chasing the images, instead i can see them when i look at them and when i look away i see them in the same spot from the corners of my eyes, it's not like they're inside my eyes, maybe inside my head yes lol i don't know but thank you for your answers also, hope to hear more from you guys!