rudeness

Discussion in 'Human Science' started by birch, Dec 12, 2010.

  1. birch Valued Senior Member

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    5,077
    why is rudeness or even at times vileness acceptable in one level of society but not in others?

    why is it okay to mock, deride, insult or even verbally assault people in general society but not in certain company?

    why isn't every part of society civil and humane if that is how we should be treating eachother?

    why is it that people are almost expected to live with, dish out and even put up with nastiness and it's overlooked but then in some circles, it is considered inappropriate? i've seen some circles where that is par for the course as if it's another world and they never heard of manners or that it's just crazy non-sense. it's confusing because even if you adjust to that, you find out in other circles they are appalled. i can understand the apalled part but not the 'surprise' part. i really don't think a huge portion of society would be rude and nasty without most knowing about it unless one was really isolated.

    do people know that there are different levels of conscientiousness or conscience in different levels of society?

    does it have to do with socioeconomics? or is it something else?

    why i ask this is there was a time when i naturally abided by all the common sense etiquette of nice behavior, consideration for others etc but in those circles, they treated that as if it was mock worthy and did not respect that at all. kindness or fairness was considered weakness and i had to adjust to survive. i think i come off a bit abrasive or rude but that is nothing compared to what i've found to be considered acceptable in general society. this is what i don't understand that if people are truly civil and good for the most part, why do they have these rules but act like they have some secret that it's just not even worth respecting? as if morals are not worth respecting and one is a 'prude' etc or a fool if they do etc.

    yet, there are other circles where all these values that i originally knew to be right or proper ways of behaving are true or expected. then you are supposed to change all of a sudden for this as if this was the proper way tot be all along. if that was so, those circles would not exist in such large quantities where it's acceptable to society. there is some deception here.
     
    Last edited: Dec 12, 2010
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  3. Stoniphi obscurely fossiliferous Valued Senior Member

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    The more distant some people are from the target of their hostility the safer they feel about venting in an inappropriate manner.

    Online I have had folks say some pretty bogue things to me. In person, my size, robust physicality, advanced martial arts skills and the fact that I carry a weapon tends to curb that kind of behavior.

    In short - people act nice when you can reach out and touch them but act nasty when they think they are anonymous or untouchable. The more often that you act poorly and get away with it the more often you will act that way. Eventually you become that person.
     
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  5. birch Valued Senior Member

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    5,077
    they also do this in the real world and somehow it is acceptable by general society. i've seen countless times how degenerates have power and it seems others are afraid of them or it's passively condoned. and then the higher classes just are isolated from them but the people who are most obscure are the ones who are neither high class but are also not the unwashed masses so to speak. they are the ones who get squeezed. the ones who have power are the very bottom and top.
     
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  7. Fraggle Rocker Staff Member

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    24,690
    Of course they do! And it isn't just "levels," but social groups in different situations. Football fans in a tavern, parents at a PTA meeting, managers and their subordinates at a presentation, parishioners at a church social, angry taxpayers at a city council meeting, doll collectors at hobbyist convention, cops at their Friday night illegal poker game... they all have different standards for behavior and language.
     
  8. cosmictraveler Be kind to yourself always. Valued Senior Member

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    There's always assholes out there!

    Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!

    Just don't become one yourself and stoop to their level of inappropriateness.

    Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!

     
  9. Read-Only Valued Senior Member

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    Birch, this entire topic is pretty much of a no-brainer. What you're describing is nothing more than human society - human interaction IN action. And what you are witnessing runs the full gamut - from a crowd attending a solemn church service to a crowd engaged in a full-blown riot. We all have it within us to be very civil or very disagreeable. It all depends on the circumstances - what out motivation is at that moment, what we are reacting to, etc.

    And that's the whole story in ONE nutshell. :shrug:
     
  10. birch Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    5,077
    but there are levels of society where consideration and manners are not considered important or their are different rules across the board, not just in certain circumstances.

    on one level of society some behavior or speech in general would be considered acceptable but not in another level of society.
     
  11. Read-Only Valued Senior Member

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    So? Why is it even worth mentioning the VERY commonly obvious??
     
  12. birch Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    5,077
    but if everyone is supposed to be using manners and being considerate, then why is it that they aren't doing that?

    it seems the upperclasses passively condone the bad behavior or what is nasty, maybe because that is also what they did or that's where they came from.

    it creates a false dichotomy as if these values are intrinsic but they aren't. they are to some but it's only usually the very innocent and they get chewed up and spit out. it seems that most people are putting on an act.

    i'm not saying everyone is pretending or not sincere because that's obviously not true but it seems that a lot of people are not really what they think they are.

    for instance, bullying in school would not be considered okay even by the faculty and teachers and will give appropriate lip service but internally that type of behavior or motivations may be secretly condoned because they were the same way or they used the same tactics to get ahead.

    that is kind of disheartening and somewhat scary in that you can't trust people or they are not really sincere.

    i know there are sincere people that care but i'm just wondering how people deal with the majority of the world's dynamics where a lot of people are really not sincere.

    in most of society and beneath the veneer of civility it is very dog eat dog.
     
  13. Fraggle Rocker Staff Member

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    24,690
    Because every community gets to define what it considers proper "manners." It obviously changes over time: Ladies no longer wear gloves and veils in public and men no longer tip their hats to them. And it obviously changes as you travel across the landscape, since as a matter of fact there are still a few places where ladies actually do wear veils in public.

    There's no such thing as "intrinsic manners" except in the narrow confines of your family, where you depend on and care for each other instinctively--or at least you're supposed to.
     

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