Can someone explain this for me? Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! I cannot wrap my mind around it. And as much as I love sarcasm and witty comments, I really do need some answers here. I can't find any decent articles on it. Even Wikipedia doesn't have a damned thing on it.
Fear of falling in love is the fear of opening yourself totally to someone, only to later have that thrown against you when they fall out of love with you. Back in the day, I used to date to find a suitable match. That's when I realized the majority of people out there weren't looking for a soulmate but a hard cock to satisfy their immediate needs.
Shouldn't be too mysterious. When you fall in love you have strong feelings. People are often afraid of strong feelings, period, even positive ones. Falling in love can feel out of control. Suddenly I am acting and feeling differently. Suddenly my feelings are/seem dependent on a particular individual who may or may not reciprocate, whose reactions and moods suddenly affect me. There can be all sorts of identity issues and fears involved. I was like this, now I am like this, suddenly. Who am I? am I still the same person? Some people lose themselves in relationships. They take on the values of the person they are in love with. This can be scary. They can 'wake up' after the relationship and feel like they have been somnambulists and must start their 'real' lives again. In fact, I would say that everyone experiences some small portion of this. People can feel their independence is threatened. They can no longer simply decide to do things - often - when in love. They find themselves taking into account the feelings adn desires of someone else to a radically different degree. This also is threatening. In fact, some philophobia seems fairly rational to me. I mean we get nervous, often, when starting a new job and this is generally less intimate.
When two people are in love they become a couple, which takes away some of their control over their individual lives. That can be scary.