You and Your Siblings

Discussion in 'Free Thoughts' started by CutsieMarie89, Feb 14, 2008.

  1. CutsieMarie89 Zen Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    3,485
    When I was younger my brother and I used to fight all of time about anything and everything and now sometimes we get along great and other times I still want to beat him up. I was just wondering from your personal experience if you think that the relationship between siblings changes as you grow older or if it relatively stays the same. Curious

    Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!

     
  2. Guest Guest Advertisement



    to hide all adverts.
  3. sOopahvi Registered Member

    Messages:
    67
    my brother and i used to get along relatively well, but then, he would beat me up too. but now i hate him due to personal, life-scarring reasons. also, he's quite different from me because he values life for its money-making potential and not much else, and i am not like that at all. so yeah. in this case, definitely downhill!!!!! so i would say they changed in my case.
     
  4. Guest Guest Advertisement



    to hide all adverts.
  5. shorty_37 Go! Canada Go! Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    12,140
    My brother and I always fought as kids. He still drives me absolutely nuts.
    We are totally different ppl, we have nothing in common.
    Nothing has changed over the years.
     
  6. Guest Guest Advertisement



    to hide all adverts.
  7. CutsieMarie89 Zen Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    3,485
    My brother and I are complete opposites. I always got good grades, he always gets terrible ones. I have a really good memory and he can barely remember his name on some days (you think I'm kidding) he's really outgoing and socialable and goofy, I'm introverted and very serious. Yet he's so obnoxious sometimes I wish I could beat him up and lock him in a closet like I used to, but now he's bigger than me so I can only imagine myself doing it. That part has changed.
     
  8. outlandish smoki'n....... Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    4,033
    my sister left home when she was 21. The surrounding circumstances i won't got into, suffice to say our family had been through enormous upheaval and turmoil, destroyed literally. Anyway, she was young, naive. She made her decision for whatever reasons. For 8 year she made no contact, my mother went through hell.
    After 8 years, my sister contacted me through facebook. A very heartfelt message. She said she wanted to "bury the hatchet" as it were, realising her mistake. She's now a mother herself, with 2 beautiful girls, and now realises things as a mother. She said she remembered her own mother when she gave birth to her kids, and now she wants her daughters to know their grandmother and uncle.

    life is cyclical. people do change, off course we do. this is an mitigating fact of human nature. As different circumstances beset us, as we suffer certain pain and tragedies, things become apparent to us.

    we all change.
     
  9. cosmictraveler Be kind to yourself always. Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    33,264
    Understanding why your kids argue What's the Real Problem?

    Twelve-year-old Jake and his 7-year-old sister Emily were fighting so much that their parents sought the help of a child psychologist. The frustrated father is a minister who counsels adults for a living. The mother was totally confused: "How could a 12-year-old possibly be jealous of a 7-year-old?" she wondered aloud during one session.

    After several sessions with Dr. Peter Goldenthal, a Pennsylvania family psychologist and author of Beyond Sibling Rivalry (Owl Books, 2000), Jake and Emily's family made a profound discovery. Jake wasn't jealous of his sister -- he was craving the physical affection and attention that Emily gets from Mom and Dad.

    Jake wanted a hug -- a hug his dad was unwilling to give to a boy who was rapidly becoming a young adult. A hug was, well, uncomfortable. "My family was never big on that sort of thing," the dad said in a later session.

    "Emily was receiving lots of physical affection, while the dad was unable to even put his hand on Jake's shoulder," says Goldenthal. "Jake was hurt by a relationship imbalance. He was doing his best to achieve, wanting to please his father. But his father wasn't doing an equal amount to build Jake up."

    Believing that the source of sibling rivalry problems doesn't rest solely with the child, Goldenthal says you have to look at the entire family. Often something is out of balance in other parts of the family, usually with the relationship of the child and one or both parents

    http://www.dogpile.com/clickserver/...23=0&40=0H4x+kHwyG5MVWMZpgMLFA==&_IceUrl=true
     
  10. CutsieMarie89 Zen Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    3,485
    I think almost everyone who has siblings or was raised with someone who sort of became your sibling has experienced sibling rivalry. I used to start arguments with my brother just to prove to him and everyone around that I was smarter than him. I still do that sometimes, but he asks for it.

    Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!

     
  11. lucifers angel same shit, differant day!! Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    7,590
    they generally stay the same, in my espeiernce anyway.

    i hated my older sister and she hated me, and we still do hate each other, we cant sit in the same room without wanting to kill each other.
     
  12. Challenger78 Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    7,536
    w00t.Only child.
     
  13. CutsieMarie89 Zen Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    3,485
    I was asking because my mother and her sister get along a lot better than they used to at least thats what I've been told, I wasn't there. But maybe it just means they don't bite each other anymore.

    Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!

     
  14. Orleander OH JOY!!!! Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    25,817
    For as long as I could remember I was my Mother's ears so I was always with her. My brothers are 15 mths apart so they are very close. I don't remember playing with them all that much. When I got step-siblings, I didn't play with them much either.
    It was my responsibility to make sure nothing bad happened to them since my Mom couldn't hear. Therefore I became the 'tattle-tale'. It sucked.
    Now I'm the lone atheist in a family of church goers, so....
     
  15. Curious George Registered Member

    Messages:
    34
    My brother and I used to fight like cat and dog untill one of used to end up crying (usually me) but since I dont have to see him everyday- gone to uni- we get on really well, much to the suprise of my parents. To be honest I think the main reason siblings end up fighting is boredom and competing for attention both of which kinda fade away when you get older.
     
  16. CutsieMarie89 Zen Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    3,485
    Maybe its not being siblings, but the fact that you see them way too often that makes you fight. Just like the saying, "How can I miss you if you won't leave?" Now that I don't live with my brother we never fight. He still acts like an idiot and gets on my nerves, but no fighting.
     
  17. original sine Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    924
    I have two older brothers and a younger sister. Never had a physical fight between us nor have any of us shouted at each other. My parents are the same way. If they argue, it doesn't escalate beyond annoyance. Nothing that I would call a fight, thankfully.
     
  18. Orleander OH JOY!!!! Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    25,817
    wow really? I've had knives thrown at me (youngest brother) and whipped with a belt BADLY (younger brother). I learned early, if you got em down, sit on them til Mom or Dad get home.
     
  19. original sine Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    924
    Well, okay, my Dad will shout occasionally, but only at us kids. Nothing physical though.
     

Share This Page